so. uh. I guess you've wondered where i've been, or maybe not, idk. but basically i got back from a veeeeery long vacation where I basically just slept, ate, cried and dyed my hair, and now my school has started too! oh, and I read a new book, called babel: or the necessity of violence by rf kuang [which I hope I will be able to post content for bc I absolutely loved that book]. And one more thing, is that I probably wont be active that much bc exams are coming up, and I realized that I wanted to spend more time with myself and just fix a lot of personal issues I have. I think in this break I found out a lot of things about myself, which I never thought was possible, both good and bad. I'm still trying to work on myself, to convince myself that being happy and just wanting to live in peace is not something to feel guilty about, all while finding pieces of myself in the movies ive watched, the books ive read, the arguments ive had, and the friendships ive lost. And I think thats something everyone should know. Change is constant, its the only thing constant in life and we all know that. And through these changes you will grow, you could become the thing you wanted to hate forever, but you could also realize the conflict from within. You will face hardships, it will be difficult and uncomfortable. But to be happy and successful, you have be comfortable with being uncomfortable. That's the only way.
and no, this isn't goodbye. i'll remember my mutuals, i'll remember every goddamn compliment ive gotten on this site, i'll remember everything. Thats a promise. I know deep down that there will be a day that I stop posting completely, and it doesnt seem like a big deal bc there are people de-activating their accounts everyday. But it is to me. I found a family here, people ive never seen in person, or had a full conversation with. But they gave me comfort when my own family couldn't. I think that's the joy of being part of fandoms, you never know who you could consider as the brother, or sister, or sibling you never had.
If you've made it this far, thank you, and know that you're loved. On that note, see ya later folks :)
