Ascension Props

My home away from home, at least until Facebook gets its act together.

[badideainaglass]

The funniest sword fight scene in the history of cinema. 

[seanfmcguire]

BEST. SWORD FIGHT. EVER.

[musicalhell]

Let’s be honest, this is how I would sword fight.

[rozunderpressure]

@warmageragnar Lewis Vs Otranto, a realistic version.

[redscullyrevival]

#what on earth is this?

The Court Jester starring Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone, and the amazing Glynis Johns, and Angela Lansbury and it is all around a fun time.

[spotweld]

All kidding aside, watch Basil Rathbone’s foot work. He knows fencing, and sets up the form even though he’s still playing up the stage blows for Danny Kaye to flail at for comedic effect.

[theimpossiblescheme]

Okay, but I need to talk about this because it’s even funnier if you know the context... Basil Rathbone was one of the greatest swordsmen in Hollywood history.  Which is why he almost never won any of his onscreen fights–he was good enough that he knew how to effectively make the other guy look even better.  That’s why the swordfight in The Adventures of Robin Hood looks so awesome even though Errol Flynn is nowhere near Rathbone’s level.

But this fight, right here?  Was one of the only fights where he needed a stunt double.  Because while he was able to keep Danny Kaye from being seriously injured, Rathbone himself nearly got skewered a few times by Kaye’s flailing around.  So in a bizarre way, this is probably the closest to an even match Rathbone had in his career… just not for the reasons you’d expect.

[hamelin-born]

“Don’t you know, there are some things that can beat smartness and foresight? Awkwardness and stupidity can. The best swordsman in the world doesn’t need to fear the second best swordsman in the world; no, the person for him to be afraid of is some ignorant antagonist who has never had a sword in his hand before; he doesn’t do the thing he ought to.”

-Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1889)

The origin of a saying I’ve seen quoted in various works of fiction - “The best swordsman does not fear the second best, he fears the worst since there’s no telling what that idiot is going to do.”

[mjwproductionsandfilm]

More new music! Made this one in a day 'cause I was in a mood and it needed to be let out. Bandcamp link: https://sidheman.bandcamp.com/track/bouncy-club-mix-thing

[ascensionprops]

Follow @mjwproductionsandfilm and get more of the good stuff by joining Tumblr today. Dive in!

Hey guys!

So you’ve probably noticed I haven’t posted here in forever.  To be honest, I haven’t made any props in like seven years, and I haven’t really been a part of the prop making community for a little longer than that. I won’t go into it, but frankly I’ve moved on in both my efforts to improve our situation and fulfill the creative itch that has always gnawed at me.

To be fair I have posted a little about what I’ve been doing lately, but not often.  Now that Twitter is slowly (maybe?) going the way of the Dodo, I’m going to be ramping up my activity here on Tumblr, but not on this blog. Ascension Props is done, and it’s time for it to rest.

Instead, I’ll be doing it on the blog listed above!  Since I’ve shifted into filmmaking and music composition (which has been a major passion of mine for about as long as I’ve been alive), I’ll be focused more on that and whatever projects and endeavors I’m doing there.  Don’t worry - the Mass Effect stuff won’t stop (nor will the odd and random; this is Tumblr after all).

Hope to see you guys there! @mjwproductionsandfilm 

[universalfanfic]

being a writer with writer friends is just:

writer: *unhinged idea*

writer friend: *encourages unhinged idea*

writer:  😈 

writer friend:  😈 

[bitemeilovewaffles]

@sincerely-mrstranger

[221b-hound]

Can confirm

[ladykailitha]

@ascensionprops​ punk.

[ascensionprops]

@ladykailitha you know it!  ;) 

[ascensionprops]

MassEffect: First Contact War SPEC TRAILER

At long last, the first spec trailer for our newest project, Mass Effect: First Contact War, is complete! Join us as we embark on this grand endeavor into t...

https://youtu.be/M3_tpoMVokM

At long last, the first spec trailer for our newest project, Mass Effect: First Contact War, is complete!  Join us as we embark on this grand endeavor into the cosmos.

Mass Effect: First Contact War is (at least right now) a fan project, paying homage to a pivotal moment in the history of Humanity in one of the greatest video game series of all time.  This speculation trailer is just that: a speculation, showcasing an idea of what we plan to make.  It will be a live-action limited series.

This spec trailer was made entirely in Unreal Engine 5 and Blender, plus placeholder images and video clips where assets could not be acquired or recreated adequately.

__________________

CREDITS:Mass Effect, First Contact War, and all related assets are the property of Bioware.

"A Future for the Krogan", written by Christopher Lennertz for Mass Effect 3 and Bioware.

Narration and Sound/Final Editing done by the ever awesome Bryan Edwards, OVERHEAL

https://www.youtube.com/c/OVERHEAL

Written, Directed, and Edited by Matt Walther, MJW Productions

  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyekGUR4fzPeYhxxzNx4elA

[ladykailitha]

I know that tumblr really isn’t the place for this but I really could use the help.

https://gogetfunding.com/help-us-recover-from-an-emergency-surgery/

[whiskey-wolf-deactivated2020060]

And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.

Suck it, katana

[val-ritz]

And that is what happens when a masterfully crafted scalpel collides with a masterfully crafted guillotine.

Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.

Katanas don’t do that.They’re not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didn’t call for that. It’s a precision instrument. It’s designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. It’s a specialized tool.

In a sense this reflects a core difference between cultures; katanas are a shitton of work and preparation to make the execution as efficient and streamlined as possible, while longswords are more durably and simply made in response to a climate that would require a soldier to be a one-man battering ram in battle.

[karstaagskookykastle-blog]

You slam any blade into any other blade and one of them is at least going to get chipped, because you’re NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO THAT.

Medieval European / Japanese sword-fighting manuals didn’t have “Now Clang the Swords Together and Totally Ruin Them For No Good Reason Whatsoever” sections. That sword-clanging crap is from movies because you want to show a 2 minute dancey sword-fight and have to do something during that time, because in real sword fights it’s either over in 25 seconds with one guy on the ground, dead, or it goes on for 4 hours as two guys in armor wear themselves out, slamming the broad sides of the sword against the armor.

Swords aren’t lightsabers.

This is like proving a Volkswagen Beetle is a “crap car” by running it into a bridge pylon at 85 mph. It’s a pointless demonstration, because you’re not supposed to do that.

Neither one of these weapons was invented to cut another sword in half, Both were invented to cut a GUY in half. In slightly different ways, but still.

[cool-mint]

oh my god thank you

[ascensionprops]

ALL OF MY THIS

[j4ckme]

Two years?! I’m in!

[kentishviking]

why not

[texas-bi-lover-deactivated20181]

I’ll try it

[blog-of-what-comes-to-mind]

Eh

[eliyora]

Double your nana, double your yum

[fuckyahumor]

give me luck double banana

[possiblityforjoy-deactivated202]

No fucking joke, I was offered 4 days of film-set marshalling and I told him I was unavailable for one of the days but I could cancel. And he told me he’d potentially found someone else.

I reblogged this.

And not 20 mins later, he came back to me and said if I really want it, let him know now. So fuck. Wow.

[sashibunbun]

fuck it double the potassium, double the luck.

[sinful-hun-deactivated20210302]

Why not

[fsexyali2]

What’s to lose …

[green-eyed-tiger]

👍👍👍

[way-2-hard]

🙏🙏🙏🙏

[phantomnonsense]

[ascensionprops]

Cat: *gets claws stuck in carpet while self-bathing, yanks them out*

Wife: *bangs on cushion* Stop scratching the couch!!

Me: She wasn’t, her claw got stuck in the floor.

Wife: *grumbles* We need to get the kitty clippers again.

Me: Noooooooo!  There’s no point. She’ll just sharpen them on the couch and go back to scratching everything.

Wife: So you’re saying we shouldn’t do preventative measures because in the future it *might* happen again anyway?

Me: Remember dear - I was raised Republican.

[ascensionprops]

Woohoo!  “Rain”, my newest short film, is FINISHED!  To celebrate the official release this Friday (10pm eastern/7pm pacific), I’m sharing a quick sneak peek with snippets from the film!  Super excited for you guys to see the whole thing, but for now enjoy a shot of our poor guitarist, stuck in the wet gloom.

[ladykailitha]

There is a little theory going around tumblr about who Crowley was before the Fall. About how he was most likely the Archangel Raphael. As I was going through the Good Omens tag (like ya do) and someone suggested that Aziraphale (or Aziraphael) was “And again Raphael”. Meaning he was Raphael not Crowley.

Here’s my thought on it though:

We know three things about Crowley’s Fall. He know he didn’t mean Fall. We know that he hung out with the Wrong Crowd. And we know that he was kicked out from asking too many questions.

We know one other thing about Crowley, he literally hung the stars. Not all of them, but enough of them.

You’ll pardon me if I mess anything up, but from what I recall from my own study on the issue and from what Neilhimself has said, there are Archangels, principalities, archangels, and cherubim. We know that Aziarphale is a principality, ranked just below the main four. The main four Archangels are Michael, Gabriel, Uriel, and Raphael. But in the show we see Uriel, Michael, Gabriel, and Sandalphon? Where’s Raphael?

So if he was once Raphael, that would mean that he was demoted. But he doesn’t act like someone who has been demoted. Like you would expect him to be more bitter. But Aziraphale is nervous guarding the Eastern Gate. Like it’s his first major job. So I think that rules him out as being Raphael.

But Crowley is a different kettle of fish. As it has been pointed out Raphael is a healer and his symbol is a snake on a stick. Now if Crowley was a low level angel I don’t believe God is cruel enough to throw him out for asking questions, (the Flood aside). But if it was Raphael, though…that’s a different story. Lucifer was a favored son after all, so it stands to reason God would be more angry about one of the Archangels siding with Lucifer and asking all the right wrong questions. And honestly what better punishment then to turn him into an actual snake.

So if he was Raphael and he did create stars and nebulae that would explain why he’s a field agent even though he doesn’t really doing any major tempting. It would explain how he could get away with doing “miracles”. How he could straight up STOP time. He was an Archangel.

On a side note, I think that Aziraphale was created (or whatever happens to make more angels) AFTER the Fall. It’s why he was named Aziraphale. After Raphael. And I think that’s what first draws Crowley to the angel. Here is this being that was named after his former self, he just has to meet him. And when he does, Arizaphale is exactly everything Crowley hoped he would be and more.

Also God soooo set them up.

[music-thestrongestformofmagic]

Incels and other sexist men can’t see a woman doing something incredible without fuming and trying to discredit her. They’re now dissing on Katie Bouman, who helped write one of the algorithms that got us the black hole picture, saying she was just an assistant (they don’t know what assistant professor is), and using Andrew Chael, her colleague in the Event Horizon Telescope team who helped write one of the codes, as ~the true person behind the codes who is being erased by this anti-men society~ or whatever. They’re even saying crap like “lmao women really don’t do shit”. Andrew took to Twitter himself to call bullshit on that.

If y'all can spread this thread to counter such narrative it’d be great.

(x)

[ascensionprops]

“Alone”  |  Film A Week: Week One

And we’re live! Since the script I’ve been working on for the past 3 years got rejected (understandable, as I don’t own the IP), I’ve decided to challenge myself to make a short film every single week for a year, to gain enough experience that I can go back to the IP owners and, hopefully, change that no into a yes. Introducing “Alone”, the film for Week One! Shot entirely on a smartphone, with a cast of yours truly (and my awesome wifey who helped on one of the camera bits).

Share it with your friends!  Gimme some feedback!  I also am looking for more film ideas, since I’ve got 51 more weeks to fill.

Also - Patreons get video access 24 hours early!  ;)

https://patreon.com/TheSidStream

[mikisugiaikuro-deactivated20200]

IF YOUR ART GETS STOLEN

https://www.tumblr.com/dmca Go there, and do as the instructions say. When my art was stolen, I got the post reported, and it was taken down. Don’t worry, it doesn’t just take down the sources post, but it takes down all the reblogged posts too. Please give this a reblog, many artists out there may not know this is here. And remember, ask permission before sharing, or don’t post it.

[harrypopsz]

THIS IS BLOODY FANTASTIC

LET ME SMOOCH YOU

GOODBYE RE-POSTERS

[beaubirds]

Oooh

[4kemisan-deactivated20231019]

There’s no excuse for bullying.

“They’re weird!/They’re not normal!”

That’s your opinion, not a fact. What you really mean is “They’re not like me”. They’re not hurting anyone by not being like you.

“They’re cringey!”

Again, it’s just your opinion, and they’re not hurting anyone. Cringe culture is pointless anyway.

“They’re annoying!”

Once again, just your opinion. If you think someone’s annoying, why not just stay away from them? No need to be rude.

“They’re autistic!”

Shame on you. Get out of my face.

“They’re fat!/They’re ugly!”

And you’re shallow. So what if you don’t like the way someone looks? It’s not your place to make them feel bad about it.

“They’re [any non-straight sexuality]!”

Get out of my sight. This is the 21st century.

“They’re trans!”

See above.

“They’re just seeking attention!”

You don’t know that for a fact. And even if they really are seeking attention, you don’t have the right to shame them.

“It’s funny to pick on them!”

Shame on you if you think bullying is funny. Get a life.

“I was just joking around!”

That’s no excuse. There are other ways to have fun that don’t involve putting other people down.

“Words can’t actually hurt anyone!”

Wrong. Words do hurt, and sometimes they can hurt more than actual physical injury.

“I’m not a bully, they’re just too sensitive!”

Not everyone reacts the same way. If you weren’t so rude, there wouldn’t be anything for the victim to be “sensitive” about.

“I’m just speaking the truth!”

Honesty is great. But you can be honest and say what you think without being rude about it. There’s a fine line between ‘brutally honest’ and ‘downright rude’.

“I have freedom of speech!”

You do. But if you’re using your ‘freedom of speech’ to bully and shame others, then you’re abusing it.

“But-”

No.

I don’t care what ‘reason’ you pull out of your ass to try to justify bullying, it’s invalid. Bullying, whatever the reason is, is unnecessary, cruel, and totally pointless.

If you bully someone, you’re basically telling them:

“You don’t deserve to be happy”

“You’re inferior to me”

“Your feelings are a joke”

Is that really what you want to be telling people?

Is that really how you want to make people feel?

[norcross]

if you ever use the “freedom of speech” argument, you’ve probably lost. if your best point is “this isn’t technically illegal”, you’ve got nothing.

[unfortunatesun]

[moderndaywarriorsawyer]

The Money Tubbs only comes around every 5628 seconds. Reblog the Money Tubbs and you’ll find money!

[modelinterrupted]

Bitttchhh the last time I reblogged some bullshit like this I booked a 2k 30minute shoot lmao