pairing—astarion x m!tav
summary—with the secrets of astarion’s past out in the open, tav wants to make sure he knows what he really wants.
warnings—self-loathing, mentions of past abuse, mentions of past slavery, minor spoilers?, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort
word count—1k
rating—teen
a/n—idk i just need more hurt/comfort fics because i'm down bad for the sad vampire boy
Camp was quiet. So quiet, in fact, that he could feel the thumping tremors of his heart as though they were cascading drums.
Tav lay in his tent alone, painfully aware of the conversation he was going to have to have tonight. Whether Astarion would even come to his tent, however, was another story entirely. He had expected him to do so, as he came most nights, but now that the torment of his past was out in the open, Tav couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever step past that threshold again. Part of him wasn’t even sure if he wanted him to. Not if he was only doing it out of habit, at least.
He was about to get out of bed to go find the Vampire himself until he heard rustling outside. Feather-light footsteps just barely crunching over leaves as someone finally approached.
Astarion ducked down into the tent, letting the tent flaps fall shut behind him. His snow-like skin almost glistened in the dim glow of candlelight as he stripped himself of his shirt and his eyes finally landed on the man before him.
“What is it, love? What’s wrong?” His head cocked to the side, his brows furrowing as he narrowed his eyes in questioning.
With a soft sigh, Tav crawled out of his bedroll and slowly walked over to the vampire. Without a word, he pulled him into a tight hug. Although the vampire was almost hesitant to return the embrace, his arms soon tentatively slipped around Tav’s slender waist.
As the unexpected embrace came to an end, the vampire found himself almost unconsciously following the heat of the body that left him. When his senses returned to him and his walls began to pull themselves back up, he took a step back. A step that hadn’t gone unnoticed by the other.
It was now or never, Tav thought. This was a conversation they needed to have. The hug had been selfish, something he felt he needed to do because, despite everything, he was terrified it would be the last time he’d ever get to hold Astarion in his arms.
“You know I’d never make you do something you don’t want to, right?” he asked, hoping to convey his sincerity.
Astarion seemed almost taken aback by that statement but, with it, began to close the distance between them. “This is about my past, isn’t it? Darling, I thought we’d already crossed this bridge. I told you my sob story but that doesn’t mean anything has to change between us.”
There was a nonchalant way about him even now, especially now. It had always been hard to extract a genuine response from the vampire when it came to what he was feeling. He never had liked to show his vulnerabilities. And vulnerable he was, even if he hated to admit so.
Tav’s heart ached for him, yearned for him, but this was a conversation that had to be had. Even if it would be the end of what had been going on between them.
“Astarion,” he began again, his voice so soft, so gentle, “This… Us… I care about you, more than you know, but I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything. I don’t want you to force yourself to do anything you don’t want to. You deserve more than that. You don’t have to force yourself to be with me like this if you don’t really want it. All I want is for you to be happy. Even if that means what we’re doing has to come to an end.”
His vermilion gaze softened when he realised what his companion was trying to say and he moved closer. “I do want this. You. I really do. I just… I don’t know how. I don’t know how to be with someone this way and not hate myself for it. Intimacy, touch… it just all feels so, so twisted, but I want this. I want you.”
It was no secret that the idea of someone actually caring for him and considering his feelings was a foreign thing to him. For two centuries he had been nothing but a pawn, an object used to lure victims back to his master and in all that time, his body had never once belonged to himself. He had never slept with someone because it was something he wanted to do. It had always been an order, a command. Now he had the freedom to choose who to give himself over to. Or not to give himself to anyone at all, if that was what he wanted.
What he wanted…
That sounded so strange to him. What did he want? He wasn’t quite sure but whatever he had with Tav… It was something he wasn’t quite ready to let go of.
“I feel safe with you,” he admitted, “It's just that being close with someone… It feels like I’m tainting them.”
What little distance was between them was no more as Tav reached out, taking his hand in his own. “We’ll figure it out together. We can take things as slowly as you want, there’s no rush. I’ll wait however long you need me to. The only thing that matters to me is that you’re happy, Astarion.”
The vampire smiled, his fangs just poking out from behind his pretty lips. “Happy? I like the sound of that. You know, I can’t remember the last time I actually felt happy but being with you… I want this. Though, it might take me a little while until I’m ready to…”
Tav smiled when he stepped closer still, their foreheads pressing together. “Baby steps, then?”
The vampire chuckled with a nod. “Baby steps.”
In that moment, Tav knew that despite the darkness that had shrouded him for so long, Astarion was willing to walk into the light. It would just take time and they had all the time in the world.
They slept together that night, in the same tent they had spent the night in many times before. This time, however, all they did was sleep in one another’s arms. One small first step. Tav could wait until he was ready and, even if that moment never came, this was enough.
trying to de-ab gale and astarion because i refuse to believe they'd actually look like that. Also it just looks better (<- humble opinion). astarion's is a little rougher because i've only edited the normal and not the. whatever the hell the other two are like I've started doing with gale (the way this game handles textures confuses me) But if anyone wants it i probably will upload this as a mod in a little while
The last star of the silent film era died yesterday at 101.
Diana Serra Cary started in films when she was 19 months old, as “Baby Peggy.” Like a lot of other child stars she was exploited, overworked, supported her entire family with her earnings, was considered “washed up” before she was 10 and was left with nothing as an adult. At 17 she ran away from home, knowing that her parents wanted her to work in films forever and she needed a way out.
She eventually married an artist, opened a bookstore, and became an author and historian. Her 1978 nonfiction book Hollywood’s Children traced the exploitation of child actors from the 1800s onward.
She also released Whatever Happened to Baby Peggy? a memoir of her child star years, pulling no punches on the abuse she suffered at the hands of her parents, directors and studios, who put her to work eight hours a day, six days a week and had her doing her own stunts before she was five. This scene here, from The Darling of New York? Not special effects. They actually put this small child in a burning room and she almost didn’t get out because they accidentally fired all the doors and windows.
In 2011 a documentary about her, The Elephant in the Room, was released. She released her last book, a novel, at the age of 100.
She never got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She’s not remembered much in film histories. But she was one of the pioneers, and with her, the last of the silent era stars is gone.
Hey everybody!
I'm open for commissions!!
Wanted to make a new post about it because I wanted to update the promo art and some of my assets, but I'm really itching to draw your characters if you'll let me ; o ;
Here's a link to the form
Reblogs appreciated <3
the beginning of the gang misses the boat is one of my favourites: mac is vibing to hollaback girl, frank and charlie are eating worms, dee has a fake mustache and pretends to be a captain and dennis is applying mascara and then he rides into the river
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