How can I tell if Iām aceflux or just have a sex drive? Sometimes Iām really allo and have sexual attraction to strangers. Sometimes Iām really ace and donāt even have sexual attraction to my partners. Sometimes Iām something in between. Is it ok to call myself aceflux? Or is that wrong? And I know you said no discourse but is it discourse if I ask if aceflux counts as queer? Iām queer anyway cuz Iām pan and nonbinary. But donāt know if aceflux is queer too or if only āfullā asexuals count.
So before I answer your actual question I wanna acknowledge your no discourse comment ā ALL asexual or aromantic spectrum identities are 100% queer by default. When I say no discourse, what I mean is I donāt want anyone coming in to my inbox with Aphobia or trying to argue with me over whether or not a certain orientation is queer enough or not. Like, Iām here to validate aspec peopleās queerness, but Iām not here to argue about it with exclusionists. So to answer thatā¦yes, aceflux is queer and if you do feel you might be aceflux, thatās just as queer as you being pan and nb is!
To answer your actual question, Iāll get right to the point of saying thereās nothing wrong whatsoever with identifying as aceflux if you even SOMEWHAT possibly relate to the label. Even if you end up being āwrongā and itās ājust your sex driveā ā you havenāt, like, harmed or appropriated actual ace-specs, you know?
but I would say you sound like you could hypothetically be aceflux. While āsometimes fully alloā and āsometimes fully aceā absolutely counts as aceflux, a lot of aceflux ppl will flux ALL around the spectrum ā having allo days, ace days, demi days, lith days, gray days, cupio days, aego days, so many things I am forgetting! Is that also a thing for you? I would definitely do some internal searching to see if āfully aceā and āfully alloā are the only things you experience. If thereās more, you can almost definitely claim aceflux. Even if thereās not more, and you truly just switch between ace and allo, you still can call yourself aceflux of course, I just wanted to give more context!!
Differentiating between libido and attraction can be really difficult. Generally Iād say a libido is about IF youāre experiencing desire at all, and sexual attraction is about WHO youāre attracted to. So for example, someone whoās completely allo will, generally speaking, ALWAYS experience sexual attraction in SOME way. Even if they donāt actively want sex at the moment. Iām not saying allos are horny 24/7 or anything, and Im not implying aces are never horny. But a general rule of thumb is that an allo person is always capable of feeling sexual *attraction* even if they donāt actively want it all the time. so based on what you told me you could likely fit the aceflux label if thatās what feels right to you.
even if youāre still unsure ā why not just try it out? :) Publicly or privately identify as aceflux for awhile, maybe get some pride merch or at least something in the aceflux flag colors. See if it feels right to you. And if it doesnāt feel right, is it because the label is wrong, or is it because you possibly have internalized aphobia? Which if you do ā no shame, as we all deal with that in some way, sadly. But I would recommend trying on the label and seeing how you feel after publicly or even just privately identifying as such.
