love loses. I win 💥💥💥

they/them | messenger from the Orange Dimension very aroace, very neurodivergent, always lost in daydreams

[infiniteorangethethird]

finally doing an intro post (yay!)

call me Orange, they/them

hardcore maladaptive daydreamer and aspiring writer, auDHD, loveless aroace (and probably aplatonic too). These are also mostly what I post about.

Most commonly used tags

#queer stuff: anything queer-related (nowadays mostly aro & loveless stuff)

#neurodivergent: anything neurodivergency-related (mostly autism & adhd stuff)

#madd: anything MaDD-related that is NOT paracosm stuff

#paraportal: paracosm stuff, whether mine or not

#the orange dimension: my paracosm's tag

#writing: anything writing-related

#my writing, #my art: pretty much self-explanatory

if you need me to tag anything, feel free to shoot me an ask/DM and I'll see what I can do!

Asks, DMs, interactions

Any form of interaction is highly encouraged and appreciated! My asks are open, feel free to drop in any time you like (especially if it's about the aforementioned topics). Be warned though that it might take me a while to respond, depending on energy levels and free time.

I also don't mind being tagged in tag games/chains however my brain's a little bitch and I almost always forget to reply to them. So if you ever tag me and I don't reply, know that I'm really sorry and I live in shame

[mollymerula]

we need to normalize a tradition where nonpartnering aros are like "hey, i'm officially never getting married, please come to this party and give me whatever kitchenware you would have bought me for a wedding"

[dogpuppy]

[hydro-homies]

[aspecwritingprompts]

Could you maybe write some prompts for a loveless character? Not just loveless aro, please. My writing slump needs some variety

I feel you

When They're Loveless

"At the end of the day, all you need is love." "No thank you."

They don't really know what to say when their friend says they love them. They don't want to hurt their feelings and not say it back but they also don't feel right saying it at all

For once, their neighbor isn't spouting nonsense and purposely singing at the top of their lungs that "everybody loves somebody"

They joke with another loveless person about love not being real and find that there is indeed an allo among them

They were surprised when they said "I appreciate you" instead of saying "I love you" like everyone else does

It feels like a huge relief to meet another loveless person. Finally, someone who actually understands. Not just someone who pretends to and then finds that one thing to say "but everyone loves this!"

"Gotta love your irritating spouse, ya know?" "No. Not at all."

"You know what they say. Love yourself before you love anyone else." "I don't know about all the love and loving but I do know I'm a pretty cool person. Then there's everyone else."

"You know, you telling me about lovelessness really changed my perspective on things. I'm glad you explained it to me." "Of course. That's why being loveless is the best thing you could possibly be."

"They're in... the L word." "Loser Land?"

[peach-pot]

being anti-amatonormativity in a romance centered world is like watching half the people you know put all their eggs in one basket and then drop the basket and all their eggs break and they’re crying and swearing they’re never gonna do that again and then a month later they have all new eggs in a new basket and they tell you the problem was they didn’t have a strong enough basket or fresh enough eggs and then they drop the fucking basket again.

[peach-pot]

(this post is about putting all your time, energy, and care into one relationship, about staking all your happiness on a romantic relationship, effectively making the entirety of your joy and stability dependent on one person who could exit your life for any number of reasons no matter how great the relationship seems. it’s about the societal expectation to build your entire social life around one long term relationship, putting all your eggs in that basket, so to speak, instead of tending to larger social network and maintaining a variety of strong connections so that even if one very important relationship comes to an end, you won’t be losing your whole social life in one fell swoop.)

[infiniteorangethethird]

It's not that I don't want pride to be about love, or that I think "love is love" is a bad sentiment or anything. It's that I think pride should be about more than just love. It should also be about self-discovery. About understanding. About acceptance. About fighting for our rights, fighting to be respected and allowed to exist in society as we are without the fear of being ostracized or hurt for it. I want that respect and understanding to be based on all my being, and not just a hypothetical romantic partner I may or may not have.

Pride, as the name suggests, is about being proud of who YOU are. For some, that may be about their love. For others, it might be about their lack of love. And for some, it might not have anything to do with love at all. And none of them belong more or less at pride than the others.

[raine-of-auroria]

Hey look, I managed to combine both Pride Month AND Junicorn.

Considering the mythology tying unicorns with virginity, I'm honestly surprised unicorns aren't used more often as a symbol for asexuality. So screw it I made one for a Redbubble design. Included the aromantic and aromantic-asexual colors as well

Redbubble link

[teaboot]

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

[justlightmeonfire]

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

[teaboot]

Also the amulet

[whimsicalmayhem]

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

[teaboot]

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

[fictiveheresy]

"love is dead and has never existed" you mean it??? 🥺 🥺 thank fuck

[wishiwasfiction]

This pride month, I want to remind folks that anattractional and loveless folks exist + are part of the queer community.

We(/sys) do not feel any urge to engage in relationships with specific people, or an urge to have specific types of relationships at all. If we want a partner/friend/etc, we decide who the best option is based on current compatibility, threat analysis, and logic. There is 0 emotion involved in the decision.

We do not experience love. We experience care and compassion and some form of interpersonal connection, but not love. partners, friends, family, none of them are loved.

In the spirit of the month, if you have questions about what its like/etc ask away!! We like talking about ourselves lol. If you ask us a question we don't want to answer, we'll just say that - no offense taken or anything.

Fellow anattractionals and loveless folks are welcome to share experiences/answer stuff as well, we're super interested to hear what it's like for others in our community.

[completely-sane-scientist]

shoutout to loveless aromantics, aplatonics, and afamilials this pride month <3 you don't need to be "fixed", and you do not have to experience any type of attraction or love in order to be real and human.

[aro-sora]

the most important part of life is love? how sad to reduce all of existence down to just one thing

[tophats2o]

[infiniteorangethethird]

Hii

If you don’t mind answering, how did you realize you were loveless? Because I’ve started to consider the high possibility that I might be loveless as well as aroace but I’m not really sure..

I don't mind at all! I think to me a big giveaway was looking at the way other people talked about their friends and just... not relating to them at all. I never understood how people could maintain friendships so easily, bc to me, a lot of the things needed for a good friendship - reaching out when I haven't heard from them in a while, asking about their day/week, going out of my way to spend time with them if the opportunity doesn't naturally present itself, etc. - I only do because I know they're a part of building a relationship, not because I have a deep emotional desire to do them. It took me a while to realize that friendships come easier to others because they do have this emotional want to bond with other people, and everything they do is a natural conclusion of that.

What made it even harder for me to figure it out is that I do still want friends. I enjoy talking to people, I enjoy spending time with people, I enjoy sharing my hobbies with people. But when I look at how others discuss friendships it seems as if to them, these "surface level" things are a secondary concern, their primary goal is to bond with the person. I do friendships because of the practical benefits - others seem to do friendships for the emotional fulfillment.

I identify with the loveless label because it helps put a word to this feeling of being different. I'm not "weird" or "broken" or "something that needs to be fixed", I'm someone who has different emotions than most of the people around them. It has helped me better understand myself and what I want out of relationships, instead of forcing myself to fit the expectations of what relationships and the emotions involved in relationships are supposed to look like.

I think at the end of the day that's the big question to ask. Is this label helpful? Do I feel it helps me understand myself and the way I relate to people around me better? Does it help me better figure out what I want and what I need? Even if you can't relate exactly to my personal experiences, if your answer is yes to any of those, you're more than welcome to use the label for yourself.

Hope this helps! I'm glad you asked - I know the loveless identity is not a very well-discussed one, so I'm always happy to share my experiences in hopes of helping people understand the identity and maybe even themselves better. I'm wishing you the best of luck on your journey of self-discovery, no matter where you'll find yourself in the end!

(Sidenote: I primarily talk about friendships bc that was the Thing that really made me realize I was loveless, but for me at least it also applies to romantic, familial etc. relationships as well.)

[hydrattan]

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

[arowitharrows]

dreaming of a world in which people know about aromanticism. And by "know" I don't mean "having a vague idea of it's existence", I mean know. I mean a world where an in depth article discussing people's choice to stay single will include an aromantic perspective. I mean a world where people have an understanding of why love, as an emotion, is detached from morality. A world where people will ask you "what kind of relationships do you want in your life?" instead of asking "do you have a boyfriend?". I dream of a world where aromantic people can exist without the constant underlying expectation of being dehumanized, erased and belittled by an unexpected, unassuming comment. I try to create a microcosm of this world around me. I hope it will be easier one day.