I'm so damn tired of aphobes

I refuse to interact with people who are only going to shout nasty things and not talk respectfully to me. Name is Unicorn Age 26/Asexual/Panromantic/Gender Queer/Autistic/Disabled. 

[eroticcannibal]

God, I feel so sad for c-incel. I'm about his age and I left my transmed phase *years* ago, I can't imagine still hating myself that much. I was never a fascist, though, so I'm sure that contributes.

Congrats on getting out of that shit, its so toxic

[incubus-absolution]

I didn't know trans men even existed until my early teens, and that was at the total peak of a certain famous transmed's YouTube popularity (*cough* K G *cough), so it was an unfortunately easy rabbit hole for a young, isolated trans kid to go down. I imagine something similar could have happened to him, and I know it was hard for me to dig my way back out of it.

Fortunately, I met some trans people in real life that didn't fit the "real self-hating transsexual" model that transmeds use, and I've been healthier ever since.

[count-incel]

oh i was never a fan of kalvin or blaire, me & my friend were getting sent gore by neo users and told to kms for politely asking how shit like neos made sense and how it's possible to be trans without feeling better as the other gender

that's what made me snap, and LITERALLY NONE OF YOU have ever made any sense or even harass me

every time someone like op exists it drives me deeper into transmed territory

[incubus-absolution]

I could explain all of that to you, but I don't think you'd actually listen.

I've been sent gore and death threats by transmeds; it doesn't make me think they're not trans.

I wouldn't even qualify as trans to you, despite being a dysphoric somewhat binary trans man. You're not actually ever going to convince anyone that they're wrong about their own life by just shouting "you're a woman!!!1!" at them; that's what terfs do, and I don't listen to terfs either.

[count-incel]

i don't want anyone to listen to me about transmed shit, i just want to chase people making my disorder look fake out of the community by any means necessary

because it's people like op that make terfs multiply, and the less terfs on the planet, the better

i don't care what has to be done

[queerautism]

Why not harass terfs directly? Genuine question. I have often flooded terf tags with anti terf shit to make them unusable for them, you could try to do the same

[count-incel]

oh i do that just the same as i do to you guys

i go after both of you equally

my point is that the less nonbinary "people" and kweer uwu types as well, and the less nondysphorics, the less likely people will become terfs

especially if we ban informed consent and require a dysphoria dx for any and all trans affirming care

but ofc i think other measures that sweep the community up are ok too

[queerautism]

I changed my mind you don't deserve polite interactions go fuck yourself forever you absolute piece of shit

[count-incel]

the feeling is mutual :)

[queerautism]

Except everyone loves me and everyone hates your guts. Maybe consider why.

[count-incel]

ironically i have never met someone who doesn't call themselves the q slur who likes you

literally everyone i know hates you

[queerautism]

Bro you don't know anyone

[count-incel]

i have a good 5 friends all in a discourse server and you're pretty fun to heckle

[asexualhawkeye]

And we have a like 20 people in a server all laughing at you my dude

[count-incel]

cool idc, it'd be a shame if that went to shit

[asexualhawkeye]

Yeah that's not happening, the server is based on mutual respect and love so we get on super well. Like my queer friends are fucking amazing

[eroticcannibal]

God, I feel so sad for c-incel. I'm about his age and I left my transmed phase *years* ago, I can't imagine still hating myself that much. I was never a fascist, though, so I'm sure that contributes.

Congrats on getting out of that shit, its so toxic

[incubus-absolution]

I didn't know trans men even existed until my early teens, and that was at the total peak of a certain famous transmed's YouTube popularity (*cough* K G *cough), so it was an unfortunately easy rabbit hole for a young, isolated trans kid to go down. I imagine something similar could have happened to him, and I know it was hard for me to dig my way back out of it.

Fortunately, I met some trans people in real life that didn't fit the "real self-hating transsexual" model that transmeds use, and I've been healthier ever since.

[count-incel]

oh i was never a fan of kalvin or blaire, me & my friend were getting sent gore by neo users and told to kms for politely asking how shit like neos made sense and how it's possible to be trans without feeling better as the other gender

that's what made me snap, and LITERALLY NONE OF YOU have ever made any sense or even harass me

every time someone like op exists it drives me deeper into transmed territory

[incubus-absolution]

I could explain all of that to you, but I don't think you'd actually listen.

I've been sent gore and death threats by transmeds; it doesn't make me think they're not trans.

I wouldn't even qualify as trans to you, despite being a dysphoric somewhat binary trans man. You're not actually ever going to convince anyone that they're wrong about their own life by just shouting "you're a woman!!!1!" at them; that's what terfs do, and I don't listen to terfs either.

[count-incel]

i don't want anyone to listen to me about transmed shit, i just want to chase people making my disorder look fake out of the community by any means necessary

because it's people like op that make terfs multiply, and the less terfs on the planet, the better

i don't care what has to be done

[queerautism]

Why not harass terfs directly? Genuine question. I have often flooded terf tags with anti terf shit to make them unusable for them, you could try to do the same

[count-incel]

oh i do that just the same as i do to you guys

i go after both of you equally

my point is that the less nonbinary "people" and kweer uwu types as well, and the less nondysphorics, the less likely people will become terfs

especially if we ban informed consent and require a dysphoria dx for any and all trans affirming care

but ofc i think other measures that sweep the community up are ok too

[queerautism]

I changed my mind you don't deserve polite interactions go fuck yourself forever you absolute piece of shit

[count-incel]

the feeling is mutual :)

[queerautism]

Except everyone loves me and everyone hates your guts. Maybe consider why.

[count-incel]

ironically i have never met someone who doesn't call themselves the q slur who likes you

literally everyone i know hates you

[queerautism]

Bro you don't know anyone

[count-incel]

i have a good 5 friends all in a discourse server and you're pretty fun to heckle

[asexualhawkeye]

And we have a like 20 people in a server all laughing at you my dude

[eroticcannibal]

Gay men love boy pussy and gay women love girl cock and both love nonbinary booty

Transphobes can cry as much as they want

U are correct and valid

[count-incel]

hi! i unpriv'd against my friends wishes to say you're a homophobe!

i refuse to date, let alone fuck anyone with a penis for any reason. they're disgusting and it doesn't matter what they do it's genuinely disgusting

[asexualhawkeye]

ah so your back just to keep being a cunt, how original, how unique

fuck off mate and learn to be a decent person before talking to the adults cause your not ready for the big boy internet yet

[count-incel]

i would rather shoot myself in the mouth than ever fuck someone with a dick, sorry

[asexualhawkeye]

I mean you do you, being ace and celibate is completely valid. but there are plenty of people who do like dick.

like there are gay men who love trans pussy and lesbians who love trans dicks. even people who don't care about genitals and just want to go to bone town.

it's normal and you need to stop getting all weird because you don't like sex

[count-incel]

if you're """ace""" and you want to have sex, you're allo, dumbass

[asexualhawkeye]

I mean I am ace and ambivilant to sex. I don't care either way.

and like I am very much not allo, nor is anyone who is ace and wants to fuck.

these are just simple facts. you really need to go play neopets or something, or play cod with other edgy 14 year olds who like slurs

[count-incel]

there's no such thing as being ace and anything other than sex repulsed

[asexualhawkeye]

not true, I know plenty of ace people who aren't sex repulsed like I know plenty of aro people who are.

because say it with me everyone is different and that's okay

[eroticcannibal]

Gay men love boy pussy and gay women love girl cock and both love nonbinary booty

Transphobes can cry as much as they want

U are correct and valid

[count-incel]

hi! i unpriv'd against my friends wishes to say you're a homophobe!

i refuse to date, let alone fuck anyone with a penis for any reason. they're disgusting and it doesn't matter what they do it's genuinely disgusting

[asexualhawkeye]

ah so your back just to keep being a cunt, how original, how unique

fuck off mate and learn to be a decent person before talking to the adults cause your not ready for the big boy internet yet

[count-incel]

i would rather shoot myself in the mouth than ever fuck someone with a dick, sorry

[asexualhawkeye]

I mean you do you, being ace and celibate is completely valid. but there are plenty of people who do like dick.

like there are gay men who love trans pussy and lesbians who love trans dicks. even people who don't care about genitals and just want to go to bone town.

it's normal and you need to stop getting all weird because you don't like sex

[count-incel]

if you're """ace""" and you want to have sex, you're allo, dumbass

[asexualhawkeye]

I mean I am ace and ambivilant to sex. I don't care either way.

and like I am very much not allo, nor is anyone who is ace and wants to fuck.

these are just simple facts. you really need to go play neopets or something, or play cod with other edgy 14 year olds who like slurs

[eroticcannibal]

Gay men love boy pussy and gay women love girl cock and both love nonbinary booty

Transphobes can cry as much as they want

U are correct and valid

[count-incel]

hi! i unpriv'd against my friends wishes to say you're a homophobe!

i refuse to date, let alone fuck anyone with a penis for any reason. they're disgusting and it doesn't matter what they do it's genuinely disgusting

[asexualhawkeye]

ah so your back just to keep being a cunt, how original, how unique

fuck off mate and learn to be a decent person before talking to the adults cause your not ready for the big boy internet yet

[count-incel]

i would rather shoot myself in the mouth than ever fuck someone with a dick, sorry

[asexualhawkeye]

I mean you do you, being ace and celibate is completely valid. but there are plenty of people who do like dick.

like there are gay men who love trans pussy and lesbians who love trans dicks. even people who don't care about genitals and just want to go to bone town.

it's normal and you need to stop getting all weird because you don't like sex

[eroticcannibal]

Gay men love boy pussy and gay women love girl cock and both love nonbinary booty

Transphobes can cry as much as they want

U are correct and valid

[count-incel]

hi! i unpriv'd against my friends wishes to say you're a homophobe!

i refuse to date, let alone fuck anyone with a penis for any reason. they're disgusting and it doesn't matter what they do it's genuinely disgusting

[asexualhawkeye]

ah so your back just to keep being a cunt, how original, how unique

fuck off mate and learn to be a decent person before talking to the adults cause your not ready for the big boy internet yet

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

*sighs* This close to making a new blog again...

Now on top of being called a little bitch ableist because I've posted truth and experiences and have been nothing but polite and have blocked people I refused to argue with because I don't take the bait, I am now also being called a narcissist too. This is tiring.

I've muted all my posts, set my notes to custom, and have blocked many tags and I'm still getting shit through the cracks...

It's not working. I think I need to create a new blog... Again... Which I created this one to get away from my narcissistic abuser that exists on here and has been spreading rumors about me which you all know about...

I think I need to create a new tags and a new blog entirely... I may even have to give up my treasured url... This sucks...

And I have even stated that I want to believe that not all narcissistic people are bad and abusive and I have hope that there are ones that wanted to change for that better and seek help and find resources to help with their toxic ways if that have them, but to say that toxic narcissistic abusers and narcissistic abuse absolutely does not exist is just so unrealistic... Saying that every narcissistic person is a poor victim with a disorder that never wants to hurt people and blatantly that toxic ones just don't exist is just so... Ignorant...

That's the same as saying there are only good people or bad people in a black and white thinking way which is not a healthy way to think.

Even people with disabilities and disorders of any kind can still be toxic and abusive and wear their disabilities and disorders as badges of honor to get sympathy to do whatever they want and to get away with things, but a majority of people want to believe that this can't be true. Again, it's unrealistic...

But, I'll always be the enemy no matter what I say...

I am evil...

[asexualhawkeye]

I think you should take this chance to leave the fandom and tumblr entirely.

It's not healthy for you and you need to do some serious thinking.

You're toxic self victimising worldview is the thing sabotaging you, no one else.

Look into domestic violence support groups since that is the correct term you want instead of narcissistic abuse.

Literally get help

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

Search, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and their abuse, and poke around a bit.

Narcissistic abuse is hellfire.

I will never argue against NPD actually being a mental disorder and that these people desperately need help, but that will never condone their abuse. Never in million years.

You know what this conscious abusive shit does to their victims?

Ptsd

Having the narc's voice in their head

Flash backs

Self doubt

Lack of self worth

Makes them feel like they deserved it

Causes extreme issues with trust and intimacy of any kind

Break downs

Loses their sense of self

Fucks with their identity

Feels unloveable/Difficult to love

Makes them feel like they did everything wrong

Severe depression episodes

Leaves them feeling isolated (for obvious reasons)

Their self esteem is completely shattered

Hella anxiety

AND SO MUCH FUCKING MORE

As a victim of NA myself, I have several of these symptoms... And it is like walking through Hellfire trying to piece myself back together.

There is a reason I call this bullshit Psychological Warfare.

And there is a reason I want to be an advocate for those that have suffered like me and want to help people have a name for what they have gone through. Knowing that my abuse is/was real and actually has a fucking name has helped me a lot.

I still burst into tears sometimes because it was, in fact, that bad and I have PTSD and flashbacks fiercely. I try to not throw pitty parties for myself, but ya know what? With this type of abuse, that is pretty fucking hard not to do.

Especially, because you want to blame yourself for letting these people get so close to you. But, try to remember, they chose you to abuse on purpose. That part is not your fault. They are predators. Yes, you fell for their charming mask, but them choosing to abuse you was and will never be your fault. Remember that strongly. It will help.

[asexualhawkeye]

Every single bullet point is a symptom of NPD, like you've described npd.

Please get some self awareness

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

What do you think this post is?

It's awareness for those who are victims of narcissistic abuse.

Not a post for Narcissistic apologists.

And even if Narcs are victims themselves it's no reason for how they treat and use people.

Maybe you're the one that needs to do research.

Get awareness... Ha...

I AM RAISING AWARENESS AND UNAPOLOGETICALLY

[asexualhawkeye]

you are spreading misinformation and ableist rhetoric to hide from looking into your self tell you the truth I once fell into your trap but fucking got out when I realised it wasn't helpful. all I was doing was scape goating something I didn't understand so I didn't have to come to terms with the fact my dad was just an asshole. he didn't have a pd or anything else, he was just a person who chose to abuse me. because he chose that. he didn't do it because of his brain being wrong. he just looked at me and decided I was a good target and went for it

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

You should really look into Narcissistic Abuse and how and why they do it and how it affects people. That's how it really sounds.

That is all I am going to say.

And calling me an ableist invalidates victims of this abuse, such as myself.

And that is not okay.

And to be honest, it sounds like your making excuses for your abuse. And that isn't okay either. I was in that hole too. It's not a hole you want to stay in.

Narcissistic Abuse is awful and it severely damages people. I call it psychological warfare for a reason. Because that's is what it is.

And I'm not spreading misinformation I have done and have read research, have deep dived into how it affects personality types, have learned all of their abusive tactics so I can look out for myself and others, and I have severely experienced this abuse myself. So, you don't get to come here and tell me how wrong I am and that what I have experienced was just some poor people with a Mental/Personality disorder making a boo boo.

I am no longer making excuses for these people and how they treat people.

Mental/Personality Disorder or not, it's not a fucking excuse to abuse people like this.

[asexualhawkeye]

I know exactly what Narc Abuse is, I fell for it when I first came out my abusive situation. then I fucking listened to people with NPD and abuse victims because I wanted to learn more. What I learnt was that people with NPD are such a minute percentage of the population that it's unlikely you'll ever be abused by someone with NPD. Plus it is a disorder characterised by early childhood abuse. That is a fact. Their self worth and self get destroyed at an early age and they find themselves going to others for self worth. they get taken advantage of and abused further. all of this is proven fact. The word you want for what you went through is just abuse. be emotional, sexual or physical it is abuse a lot of people go through including the ones you demonise. My Dad abused me for many reasons but npd wasn't one of them. when I got past that, I started to grow and move on. I stopped caring about it because he wasn't some special monster. he was a fucked up man with a drinking problem and family issues. because abusers are just people. and when you understand that you can move on but holding onto this need to make monsters is going to stunt you. and I know this because it almost happened to me

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

Yeah, I'm not gonna fuck with this because it will be a pit, but I do honestly think you need to do more research. And I'm saying this with wholeheartedness and genuineness.

[asexualhawkeye]

I did the research and I am telling you you're wrong. What you are doing is emotional self harm to justify shittiness that happened to you. it sucks to know there is no special reason why you were abused but that's just how life is. it's terrible and heart breaking and abuse happens for no fucking good reason. there is no changing the past, all you can do is accept that everyone is hurting and has their own problems and move on. you don't have to forgive them, I will never forgive my dad but I no longer let him take space in my mind. and honestly I've been the happiest and healthiest in years. Life is about processing and accepting the horrible things and finding joy in the good. I have friends now who are my family, I have a boyfriend I adore. all due to me leaving that shit in the past. obsessing over things like narc abuse just stunts you. it stops you from understanding that compassion and acceptance is the path forward. people are people, they aren't good or bad, they just are.

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

Search, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and their abuse, and poke around a bit.

Narcissistic abuse is hellfire.

I will never argue against NPD actually being a mental disorder and that these people desperately need help, but that will never condone their abuse. Never in million years.

You know what this conscious abusive shit does to their victims?

Ptsd

Having the narc's voice in their head

Flash backs

Self doubt

Lack of self worth

Makes them feel like they deserved it

Causes extreme issues with trust and intimacy of any kind

Break downs

Loses their sense of self

Fucks with their identity

Feels unloveable/Difficult to love

Makes them feel like they did everything wrong

Severe depression episodes

Leaves them feeling isolated (for obvious reasons)

Their self esteem is completely shattered

Hella anxiety

AND SO MUCH FUCKING MORE

As a victim of NA myself, I have several of these symptoms... And it is like walking through Hellfire trying to piece myself back together.

There is a reason I call this bullshit Psychological Warfare.

And there is a reason I want to be an advocate for those that have suffered like me and want to help people have a name for what they have gone through. Knowing that my abuse is/was real and actually has a fucking name has helped me a lot.

I still burst into tears sometimes because it was, in fact, that bad and I have PTSD and flashbacks fiercely. I try to not throw pitty parties for myself, but ya know what? With this type of abuse, that is pretty fucking hard not to do.

Especially, because you want to blame yourself for letting these people get so close to you. But, try to remember, they chose you to abuse on purpose. That part is not your fault. They are predators. Yes, you fell for their charming mask, but them choosing to abuse you was and will never be your fault. Remember that strongly. It will help.

[asexualhawkeye]

Every single bullet point is a symptom of NPD, like you've described npd.

Please get some self awareness

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

What do you think this post is?

It's awareness for those who are victims of narcissistic abuse.

Not a post for Narcissistic apologists.

And even if Narcs are victims themselves it's no reason for how they treat and use people.

Maybe you're the one that needs to do research.

Get awareness... Ha...

I AM RAISING AWARENESS AND UNAPOLOGETICALLY

[asexualhawkeye]

you are spreading misinformation and ableist rhetoric to hide from looking into your self tell you the truth I once fell into your trap but fucking got out when I realised it wasn't helpful. all I was doing was scape goating something I didn't understand so I didn't have to come to terms with the fact my dad was just an asshole. he didn't have a pd or anything else, he was just a person who chose to abuse me. because he chose that. he didn't do it because of his brain being wrong. he just looked at me and decided I was a good target and went for it

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

You should really look into Narcissistic Abuse and how and why they do it and how it affects people. That's how it really sounds.

That is all I am going to say.

And calling me an ableist invalidates victims of this abuse, such as myself.

And that is not okay.

And to be honest, it sounds like your making excuses for your abuse. And that isn't okay either. I was in that hole too. It's not a hole you want to stay in.

Narcissistic Abuse is awful and it severely damages people. I call it psychological warfare for a reason. Because that's is what it is.

And I'm not spreading misinformation I have done and have read research, have deep dived into how it affects personality types, have learned all of their abusive tactics so I can look out for myself and others, and I have severely experienced this abuse myself. So, you don't get to come here and tell me how wrong I am and that what I have experienced was just some poor people with a Mental/Personality disorder making a boo boo.

I am no longer making excuses for these people and how they treat people.

Mental/Personality Disorder or not, it's not a fucking excuse to abuse people like this.

[asexualhawkeye]

I know exactly what Narc Abuse is, I fell for it when I first came out my abusive situation. then I fucking listened to people with NPD and abuse victims because I wanted to learn more. What I learnt was that people with NPD are such a minute percentage of the population that it's unlikely you'll ever be abused by someone with NPD. Plus it is a disorder characterised by early childhood abuse. That is a fact. Their self worth and self get destroyed at an early age and they find themselves going to others for self worth. they get taken advantage of and abused further. all of this is proven fact. The word you want for what you went through is just abuse. be emotional, sexual or physical it is abuse a lot of people go through including the ones you demonise. My Dad abused me for many reasons but npd wasn't one of them. when I got past that, I started to grow and move on. I stopped caring about it because he wasn't some special monster. he was a fucked up man with a drinking problem and family issues. because abusers are just people. and when you understand that you can move on but holding onto this need to make monsters is going to stunt you. and I know this because it almost happened to me

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

Search, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and their abuse, and poke around a bit.

Narcissistic abuse is hellfire.

I will never argue against NPD actually being a mental disorder and that these people desperately need help, but that will never condone their abuse. Never in million years.

You know what this conscious abusive shit does to their victims?

Ptsd

Having the narc's voice in their head

Flash backs

Self doubt

Lack of self worth

Makes them feel like they deserved it

Causes extreme issues with trust and intimacy of any kind

Break downs

Loses their sense of self

Fucks with their identity

Feels unloveable/Difficult to love

Makes them feel like they did everything wrong

Severe depression episodes

Leaves them feeling isolated (for obvious reasons)

Their self esteem is completely shattered

Hella anxiety

AND SO MUCH FUCKING MORE

As a victim of NA myself, I have several of these symptoms... And it is like walking through Hellfire trying to piece myself back together.

There is a reason I call this bullshit Psychological Warfare.

And there is a reason I want to be an advocate for those that have suffered like me and want to help people have a name for what they have gone through. Knowing that my abuse is/was real and actually has a fucking name has helped me a lot.

I still burst into tears sometimes because it was, in fact, that bad and I have PTSD and flashbacks fiercely. I try to not throw pitty parties for myself, but ya know what? With this type of abuse, that is pretty fucking hard not to do.

Especially, because you want to blame yourself for letting these people get so close to you. But, try to remember, they chose you to abuse on purpose. That part is not your fault. They are predators. Yes, you fell for their charming mask, but them choosing to abuse you was and will never be your fault. Remember that strongly. It will help.

[asexualhawkeye]

Every single bullet point is a symptom of NPD, like you've described npd.

Please get some self awareness

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

What do you think this post is?

It's awareness for those who are victims of narcissistic abuse.

Not a post for Narcissistic apologists.

And even if Narcs are victims themselves it's no reason for how they treat and use people.

Maybe you're the one that needs to do research.

Get awareness... Ha...

I AM RAISING AWARENESS AND UNAPOLOGETICALLY

[asexualhawkeye]

you are spreading misinformation and ableist rhetoric to hide from looking into your self tell you the truth I once fell into your trap but fucking got out when I realised it wasn't helpful. all I was doing was scape goating something I didn't understand so I didn't have to come to terms with the fact my dad was just an asshole. he didn't have a pd or anything else, he was just a person who chose to abuse me. because he chose that. he didn't do it because of his brain being wrong. he just looked at me and decided I was a good target and went for it

[thisblogdied2022-deactivated202]

Search, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and their abuse, and poke around a bit.

Narcissistic abuse is hellfire.

I will never argue against NPD actually being a mental disorder and that these people desperately need help, but that will never condone their abuse. Never in million years.

You know what this conscious abusive shit does to their victims?

Ptsd

Having the narc's voice in their head

Flash backs

Self doubt

Lack of self worth

Makes them feel like they deserved it

Causes extreme issues with trust and intimacy of any kind

Break downs

Loses their sense of self

Fucks with their identity

Feels unloveable/Difficult to love

Makes them feel like they did everything wrong

Severe depression episodes

Leaves them feeling isolated (for obvious reasons)

Their self esteem is completely shattered

Hella anxiety

AND SO MUCH FUCKING MORE

As a victim of NA myself, I have several of these symptoms... And it is like walking through Hellfire trying to piece myself back together.

There is a reason I call this bullshit Psychological Warfare.

And there is a reason I want to be an advocate for those that have suffered like me and want to help people have a name for what they have gone through. Knowing that my abuse is/was real and actually has a fucking name has helped me a lot.

I still burst into tears sometimes because it was, in fact, that bad and I have PTSD and flashbacks fiercely. I try to not throw pitty parties for myself, but ya know what? With this type of abuse, that is pretty fucking hard not to do.

Especially, because you want to blame yourself for letting these people get so close to you. But, try to remember, they chose you to abuse on purpose. That part is not your fault. They are predators. Yes, you fell for their charming mask, but them choosing to abuse you was and will never be your fault. Remember that strongly. It will help.

[asexualhawkeye]

Every single bullet point is a symptom of NPD, like you've described npd.

Please get some self awareness

[ufonaut]

look, for all the discourse i’ve been involved in over time i’m happy to say i’m not one for callout posts but when an issue as severe as this is decidedly ongoing i think it’s time to take a legitimate stand. @jsayyyye and @green-lanterns-c0ck are homophobes plain and simple, and so is everyone who reblogs their posts or agrees with their homophobic talking points.

you might argue that this has been talked to death already, and you’d be right, but the flag edits (aka putting a canonically gay man over the bi flag or the flags of other non-gay identities) are from the past two days, the latest post about alan being ace is from today. i believe making sure their actions are acknowledged on a public forum at least in some capacity, in case anyone’s forgotten that discussion from a while back, has become once again necessary. let me reiterate: claiming a canonically gay man, who has been gaycoded for decades and who has explicitly canonically used the word ‘gay’ to refer to himself, could be anything but that is an act of homophobia. end of discussion. and yes, before you ask, in this particular situation claiming he could possibly be ace – when he’s been closeted for over eighty years and is a gay man from the 1940s – is also an act of homophobia.

[eroticcannibal]

God dont you have real homophobia to deal with?

[queerautism]

Gay men from the 1940s also were asexual sometimes? Thinking about slightly different versions of queer characters in ur own damn blog is fine actually? Wtf is this lol

[ufonaut]

wanting a gay character to be bi is not “slightly different versions of queer characters”.

[queerautism]

It’s literally just considering an alternate version of the character because they find the idea interesting, which is like, a staple of comic book shit.

[ufonaut]

are you at all familiar with alan scott? a character created in 1940 that has come out as explicitly gay after literally 80 years of being gaycoded? i think you might be really legitimately an idiot if you don’t see the homophobia here 💗

[evilbeepthemeep]

You are acting a complete cunt over something so fucking minor as a fictional character. This isn’t homophobia, just differing fucking opinions. Get over yourself and actually bloody think before posting shit on tumblr

If you can’t handle other people talking about your blorbos, have you thought about writing stuff about them in a journal or learn to ignore shit

[ufonaut]

you have been added to the free block list 💗

[asexualhawkeye]

And you're still a cunt

[justanisabelakinnie]

Yo, I fucking hate when in3st and pr3$hipping fics have seemingly innocuous and misleading descriptions, like there will be fics with a blurb like “Camilo just wanted Mirabel to know how much he loved her.” and then you either read the tags or skip the tags altogether and it turns out to be some freaky shit. 

This is exactly why I always read the tags because you never know when you’ll click on a fic that gives off no indication of being incest otherwise. It’s even worse when you go through a regular tag like “Good Cousin Isabela Madrigal” and most of the fics are inc3st and r@p3. 

I’m seriously wondering if there are some dogwhistles or terms to look out for. I find that I stay away from any fic that says in the description that something happens to Camilo that he never saw coming. 

[asexualhawkeye]

yeah it's called reading and excluding tags like every other fucking sensible user on ao3

[asterosian]

I found a terf’s guide to being a crypto-TERF. I’m sharing the link in a few discord servers and in a bit after picking apart the post I’m gonna use it to write up how to identify crypto-TERFs. Stay tuned.

[asterosian]

How to spot a crypto-TERF, according to a post on how to be a crypto-TERF

For reference, here’s the post I found that I’m basing this off of

They often try not to reblog from obvious TERFs on their crypto blog. (Yes, often they fail at this but that’s not the point. Not finding anything TERFy on main is not necessarily a hint that it’s safe). But they’ll have no problem reblogging from other crypto-TERFs and liking obvious TERF posts. Be sure to check through the likes of TERF posts! You’ll find plenty of main blogs to block. Note that they might try to avoid reblogging right after liking a post so you don’t know which side blog goes with which main blog. The point is to block, tho, so like, who fucking cares what side blog goes with what main blog? (But also be aware that some folks will like a TERF post cause someone reblogged it to criticize it and the notes don’t give away who likes what version of a post. Use your judgement for these cases).

I’ve been saying this for years but now I have it in plain text, TERFs will post basic radfem beliefs on their crypto-TERF blogs because they know you don’t recognize radfem shit until it involves trans people. I put a screenshot of their words (with a red border on it so that it’s clearly a screenshot and not part of the post). Learn to recognize radfem theory. And while you’re at it learn the arguments against it/why it’s dangerous. Examples of radfem beliefs include: bdsm is abuse, support for the Nordic model on sex work, women shouldn’t wear makeup even if they want to (the idea is that they don’t actually want to), the idea that men are inherently abusive (or really any other gender essentialist nonsense), being anti-porn. There’s more than just this, I’m encouraging you to do your research here!

On that note, if they say absolutely nothing about trans people, they’re likely a crypto-TERF. Maybe they just don’t want to discuss it but like, if you search their blog for the word trans and nothing comes up (or what comes up has nothing to do with trans people) yet they talk a lot about feminism and lgb (but not t) stuff, you likely found a crypto-TERF. But just to be safe cause there’s people like me who have search turned off, search for something you know is gonna be on their blog to check if anything comes up.

Download shinigami eyes if you can. Yes they’re suggesting that they do that themselves so that they can keep track of who is safe to reblog to their mains. But here’s the part that will help everyone: if you believe you’ve found a crypto-TERF, mark them as red. Hunt down TERF posts with no criticism on them to mark everyone in the notes as red, if you feel so inclined to help out them.

For the love of god, stop stealing TERF posts. No more of that “op was a TERF so I’m stealing it” shit, you’re doing their job for them spreading radfem rhetoric, which in turn is making it increasingly hard to identify crypto-TERFs. Not to mention you’re validating their belief that you secretly agree with them and have just been lied to about them. (Which, honestly, is condescending as all fuck for those of us who’ve taken time to learn what their ideas are. Yes I’m telling you to learn what radfems believe aside from the transphobia. Mostly so you can know it when you see it. Partly cause I’m sick of you all spreading it completely unaware. I swear the second I find an accessible and easy to read list of radfem beliefs and why I’m against them, I’m blasting it all the fuck over tumblr. Unfortunately that would be a long ass post and take a lot of work.)

This ain’t from the post but rather from the blocking spree I just went through but don’t rely on things like pronouns in bio or seeing “tme” in there to indicate that someone is safe. TERFs who don’t want you to know they’re TERFs will try to look like normal people or even just someone who’s trans-friendly cause they know you won’t listen to them if you know they’re a TERF. And some of them like to joke about tme standing for “transmisogyny enthusiast” anyway. Actually look at what they’re saying and how many radfem points it checks off as well as what they’re not saying (remember they won’t talk about trans people at all cause, again, they know you won’t listen if you know they’re a TERF).

Anyone with further info is free to add to this!

[queenjulia24]

HOLD UP HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS

[lichpire]

was gonna leave my comment in the tags but tbh i’m silent enough about this as it is.

seeing stuff like this is so upsetting because these terms were well known and widespread in the ace community but because of exclusionists many people stopped using terms like this because they felt uncomfortable and unsafe.

i loved these terms when i was in highschool, i loved the feeling of community, but i lost that because i didn’t feel comfortable openly and proudly calling myself asexual.

they’ve hurt so many people and damaged our community badly and i will never forgive them for that. we deserve to use our own terminology and feel safe within our community.

[running-batty]

Yeah the ace community has so much. We were told to stay of the lgbt and make our own group, so we did. And it was glorious! Full of fun, great advice and useful terms likes these.

Then the terms, exculsionists and other bigots realized we had a strong community without them where were felt normal and they couldn't deal with that.

So they dozed people, sent death threats, filled our tags with vivid images of gore, animal abuse, child abuse, porn and even child porn.

They stalked us and screamed at us claiming we weren't victims that any abuse we may have faced was actually "misplaced homophobia" and then proceeded to repeatedly abuse us while gaslighting us all. People were attacked in real life.

Most people stopped talking about thier asexuality. Many left the site permanently. The community was destroyed and then they went back to talking about how we were just trying to be special straight people. Mocking us after doing thier damned best to snuff us out.

And now they point to our destroyed communities as "proof" that it was a fad and that we are all ether represed guys or straight homophobes.

Its infuriating. And worse, there are young aces being fed those lines of being broken, selfish and disgusting all over again.

[imfemalewarrior]

Yup

Sometimes I wonder if they pushed us to make our own community so we would be easier targets

Now they act like it didn't happen and we shouldn't be angry with them for it

No, you destroyed my community. You bullied our members into suicide, into the closet, and offline. We're still in shambles from everything you did to us.

But we're still here. We survived despite your best efforts.

To any young aces who figured stuff out in recent years: there's ppl like me who started identifying as ace before all this went down. We can tell you what it was like and what our language is. All you have to do is ask.

-FemaleWarrior

[lil-lycanthropy]

I usually talk in the tags but I do just want to add:

I saw this post (just the OP) and I was so surprised honestly when I first saw it. I was like, “yeah, people used the card suits for their identities. It was a really big thing not too long ago and a cool way to identify yourself because aspec identities can vary.”

And then I did remember what happened with all the ace “discourse” which was outright bullying and bigotry. I used to identify as ace and aro (now ace lesbian but anyway) and I legit wanted a small ace of spades tattoo to represent that.

And it partially faded from my plans as I’ve discovered myself differently and it just didn’t suit my taste, but also because it was such a shameful and “cringe” thing. The amount of hatred people have for ace folks is why I’m still so reluctant to acknowledge the ace part of my identity, much less explore it. If you want to talk about an entire group within a community that was completely obliterated due to both external and internal bigotry, talk to any ace people. If you can find them. Because many of us are back in the closet.

My ace identity in the past was way more a target of bigotry than me being non-binary and/or lesbian. I hardly even mention it to anyone because I’m so worried about reaction. The GSA at my high school fell apart due to aphobia from one or more of the “leaders”.

Almost every aspect of the ace community was under intense scrutiny. We used to loudly and proudly share awful (read: well thought out and clever) puns and we had learned to value relationships outside of sex. We had rings, we had flags that were on pins and everywhere. We saw ourselves in so many characters.

And now? I see a post about asexuality once in a blue moon. And it is entirely. 100%. Completely. Due to “LGBT ONLY” “You’re just straight!” “Queer is a slur!” “You don’t face REAL oppression” exclusionists WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community.

What’s awful is that it’s such a recent thing. Ace people have always existed. Ace people have always been included in queer spaces, even though we didn’t necessarily have the language. Then the community built up, especially online (where I spent most my time). Then in 2015, exclusionists started raising their voices, and they recruited people to be bigoted within the community. 2018, I barely knew ANYONE who still openly identified as ace because they deleted their blogs or went back into the closet.

And then the community that we’ve built up has been decimated. To the point that people don’t know about the card suits and being aspec. When that was one of the things 90% of ace people used to put in their bio (♠️♣️♥️♦️).

So yeah. This post really hit me with how much we aces have been erased. Brutally. I look back on the past five years of asexual identity online and it has been shattered. I follow a lot of queer centric blogs, and I see aspec stuff once maybe every month or two because we’re still scared of the exclusionist movement.

Fuck exclusionists for forcing us into shameful silence. If you think you’re a “good lgbt” because you’ve kicked out aces and made us feel unsafe and unwelcome, then I hope you have a horrible day. I hope you see the consequences of your actions. I also hope you get hit with some lovely black ace rings, leaving scars that are not even a fraction as harmful as what we’ve had to deal with.

[imfemalewarrior]

This is exactly how I remember it going down. Thank you for speaking up about it because sometimes I wonder if what I remember happening happened because fairly often it feels like I'm the only one around from Before.

-FemaleWarrior

[leoriowithaknife]

don’t make me tap the sign…

[rooooooootle-deactivated2021061]

[Open ID:

Image of the “The Simpsons” meme where the bus driver taps the sign. The bus driver is taping the bottom left of the sign in the both images. The first one reads “Asexuality and aromanticism are inherently queer experiences. Even if an ace person is heteromantic or an aro person is heterosexual, they are still queer by the virtue of their aspec experience.”

The next image says, “Our heteronormative society is both allonormative and amatonormative and, therein, expects all people to experience sexual and romantic attraction exclusively to someone of the ‘opposite’ gender by default. Asexuality and aromanticism undoubtedly queer those rigid standards.”

End Id.]

[slenders1ckn3ss]

Hey exclusionists answer me smth

Did it burn in you all these four months since Pride that ace and aro ppl dared to call themselves lgbtq+?

Is that why you waited specifically until this week - OUR week - to start new discourse bullshit?

Cuz you had time. You had all of the time. But you wanted to wait until you knew ppl would see your hilariously stupid and harmful takes.

Exclusionists always do this. Year after year after year. They wait until we have our week of awareness and information and then hurriedly spit up all over it. Frothing, shitty bullies. That's all they are.