head's inside a storm cloud

personal blog. random. current address: nowhere

[isnt-it-pretty]

Alhaitham/Kaveh fake marriage fic concept:

Alhaitham doesn't get along with his parents. They have expectations for him that he doesn't care about, and he is exhausted by them. They're the stereo typical "our son is successful" type of parents and take credit for his accomplishments. They are also desperate to see Alhaitham settle down with a partner.

When they show up unannounced at his house with a list of "perfect" matches (men and women bc no homophobia in my fics), Alhaitham weighs the pros and cons of arguing with them and decides to introduce Kaveh as his husband because it takes less effort. Kaveh being Kaveh thinks this is hilarious and rolls with it. When Alhaitham's parents leave, they both assume it's the end of it.

It isn't.

Alhaitham's parents are devastated to have missed the wedding ("we eloped") and, upon figuring out Kaveh is famous, start bragging about their son-in-law. Things start spiralling but maintaining the lie is still less effort than telling the truth because if they find out Alhaitham lied, they will be even more intolerable. So Alhaitham dives head first into the most logically twisted scheme he can think of and drags Kaveh along for the ride-- all the avoid his parents' awkward matchmaking.

They're stuck doing stuff like forging a backdated marriage certificate that Alhaitham has to sneak into the archives to file. Kaveh has to convince Cyno to sign off on paperwork for something (Akademiya protocol for married couples?). Figuring out their meeting and first date stories, practicing holding hands and kissing because they can't look like they've never done it before. Staging photos of their relationship to show his parents.

Kaveh, in his third outfit swap for taking pictures: "Is this really less effort than just being honest?"

Alhaitham, halfway through setting up the Kamera: "Yes."

And, well, if you do something enough, it eventually becomes the truth. Kaveh catches feelings, unknowing that Alhaitham has been ignoring his own sentiments the entire time.

[clown-funeral]

Fuck your zodiac sign which organ plush you choosing

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

why do we bother with I hate my partner jokes when your boss is right there

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

I love my wife. my boss though? that ball and chain??

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

do you understand my vision

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

[placeholdername69]

Oh this is too fun

[leatherleaves]

Bestie, your brain, your VISION, ahead of your time

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

[sashaforthewin]

Wait, but this made them ACTUALLY FUNNY

[tossawary]

Elaboration time: SVSSS AU where Airplane Bro is given the choice between the role of Shang Qinghua and an “original role” (he’s not high-ranking enough, according to the System, to get a better role). Airplane Bro is of course like, “Shang Qinghua?! Fuck, no! That role sucks! I don’t want to die!”

So, he gets the “original role”, which means he just transmigrates in as himself, as an adult, and the System of course gives zero support. Airplane Bro gets to be like, “Oh, boy! I’m homeless in my own fantasy world! Fuck!”

Airplane Bro is a resourceful little bastard, so he manages to survive and create a living for himself. I like the idea of Airplane Bro actually managing to become a merchant and inventor. I also like the idea of Airplane Bro striking a deal with the An Ding Peak Lord, who takes a chance on this dirty man saying wild shit because why not, and becomes a sort of consultant / researcher for Cang Qiong Mountain Sect in exchange for 1) money, and 2) learning how to cultivate. It’s not exactly a stable living, but it’s interesting and it is a living!

Maybe Airplane Bro forms a connection with Original Shang Qinghua, because the System just dumped him in the vicinity of the Shang family, and Airplane Bro feels some “bro, I am SO GLAD that I am not you” guilt over the kid. It’s not like an Uncle-Nephew relationship, it’s more of a “Weirdo Friend Of Family and Long-Suffering Son Of Family With Great Ambitions” situation, but it compels Airplane Bro to be in the area when Original Shang Qinghua is an An Ding disciple and on a mission, and ends with Airplane Bro accidentally intercepting an injured Mobei-Jun before he can meet the An Ding disciples.

So, Airplane Bro meets Mobei-Jun when he is fifty-ish, probably forty-seven-ish at the youngest. He’s an “immortal” cultivator now thanks to desperate hard work and possibly some cheats, but it took a while and so he looks his age.

Keep reading

[changan-moon]

how to draw food in watercolor and chinese painting skill by 王小媛

[fishtrouts]

Stolen Treasure

Another valuable piece added to the dragon hoard! I thought it would be nice if Pondhopper got some friends as well, since Swordfish has his frog hoard.

[tashaneva]

would be cool if this curse of a tv series started, like, paying rent for living in my head 24/7

[viv-url]

big moshang fight part 2 !! (part 1)

you can download all the pages as a PDF for free here! 

[viv-url]

scum villain chapter 95 – aka the big moshang fight part 1 !! (part 2)

[thunderpot]

Wise men say Only fools rush in But I can't help...

Maigu Ridge Jess Version~ Read left>right! ;D Enjoy!

[kalatl-art]

So Sha Hualing, Mobei Jun and Shang Qinghua are on an important meeting and then Moshang happens 

[selpuku]

— SQH as Linguang Jun's spy AU —

after mission

[selpuku]

🔷❗ be careful of pollens ❗🔷

[selpuku]

(1) Shang Beehua got stranded but luckily a stranger offered him some sugar water

(2) Mothbei Jun can't find his bee friend but luckily a kind stranger lend him a hand

(3 Mothbei Jun and Shang Beehua reunited! Their human benefactors turn out to be apartment neighbors (who may or may not have noticed each others beforehand 👀)

[lantern-hill]

simple drinks to make in quarantine to ward off boredom

dalgona coffee - you already know what it iiiiiiiiiiiiis but if you don’t, combine 1-2 tsp or instant coffee with 1-2 tsp of sugar and a splash of hot water. whisk by hand or with a mixer until stiff peaks form. use to top milk; stir up and drink. 

brown sugar syrup- not a drink but you can use it for drinks. combine a 2:1.5 ratio of brown sugar to water in a saucepan, boil for 3 min, simmer until all sugar is dissolved, slowly lower temperature and let cool. 

brown sugar milk tea - brew about ¾ cup of some variety of black tea; add milk and a couple ice cubes. pour brown sugar syrup down the sides of a clean glass (by placing the empty glass on a table, resting the rim of the container of sugar syrup on the rim of the glass, and rotating the empty glass.) pour the tea you made into the glass. stir, or don’t. 

if you haven’t made brown sugar syrup, incorporate however much brown sugar you like into the tea before you add the milk and ice. 

if you have tapico pearls, let them sit in the syrup for a little while and then pour the syrup with the pearls down the side of the glass.

coffee milk - whisk however much milk you want to make with a little instant coffee, a dash of brown sugar syrup (or just brown/white sugar), and a littel cocoa powder (optional but it rlly elevates the taste.) whisk until the top is foamy. pour into a glass and top with a sprinkling of cocoa powder. 

the ratio i use is 1 cup milk: 1 tbsp instant; about 1.5 tsp of brown sugar syrup, ½ tbsp/1 tsp of cocoa powder

strawberry milk - blend strawberry jam with milk. add fresh-cut strawberries (optional) or use a variety of jam with pieces of fruit. 

i use a ratio of 1 cup milk- 1-2 tbsp jam.

matcha latte, my way - in a tiny bowl, whisk about 1-2 tsps matcha with a dash of hot water. fill a glass halfway with milk, top with a handful of ice cubes, drizzle honey (optional), pour matcha over it, stir (or don’t.)

i like to pour honey down the sides like i explained how to do with brown sugar syrup instead of pouring it over the ice. also, i keep my matcha in the fridge bc mxmtoon said to in a tiktok.

also, you can also use brown sugar syrup instead of honey

matcha dalgona - whisk matcha with whipping cream & a lil sugar. put on milk. stir stir drink yum yum

a lot of recipes say to use raw egg whites?? idk why man ig you can do that but i really am not motivated enough to seperate egg whites every time i want matcha dalgona. 

follow for more to come i am extremely bored

i’m on youtube!

[egobuzz]

me, keeping all my hot takes to myself to stay out of fandom drama 

[writing-prompt-s]

One night, you decide to put your phone under your pillow. When you wake up in the morning, your phone is replaced by cash totaling what you paid for your phone. Turns out the tooth fairy takes more than just teeth.

[gwen-tolios]

You regret the loss if your phone, of course, but the tooth fairy gave you brand new market price and so you bought a new one with the cash and pocketed the rest.

You experiment. Sticking items under your pillow is better than the hassle of Facebook marketplace.

She doesn’t take the plastic plate set you’ve tried to sell for weeks, but she takes a gold rimmed china saucer from your Grandma’s old set. You get brand new market value for it - from 1946 when it had been bought.

She ignores jeans and books, but trades for spoons and costume jewelry. The tooth fairy, you realize, is a bit of a magpie. If it’s a little bit shiny, she’ll give you cash.

You clear out the jewelry table at a garage sale, place them one by one under your pillow. The amount you get varies, but still is brand new market value of when the item was originally bought. Nothing more than $50, but that’s better than the $8 you bought it for.

After a few weeks, something changes. Your bank account isn’t as empty, your pillow is thicker. You take a nap, because sleeping on items isn’t the most comfortable. You wake up to a crinkle, a note next to your nose.

The writing is tiny, you need your phone’s magnifier to read it, but it turns out just as you’ve been using the tooth fairy, she wants to use you. She’s dropped off a list of wants; hints at a finder fee in cash or precious metals.

It’s specific, odd stuff. A clean dollar coin. A chandelier crystal. A reversible sequin pillow. Antique holiday ornaments. Photo hooks. All, you think, easy to get.

You sign her contact with purple sparkly gel pen and offer it as a freebie.