Art & Anxiety @ashen-vulture - Tumblr Blog

Uhhhhh pinned post

If you're looking for my chickens the tag is Chicken Talk

I currently have three hens, Dragon the lavender orpington, Fossil the speckled sussex, and Goldfish the buff orpington. My new flock additions are Rovi and Pepper the barred rocks, Dollie the australorp, and Dough the american bresse!

If you want something to brighten your day, I suggest Perfect Nose which is my collection of adorable little rat noses. Occasionally other animal noses make their way in there, but rat noses are the primary perfect nose.

If you're interested in my TherianHRT story or artwork related to it, that's A Vulture In Therapy

ghost-eses

The "AFAB-Only Housing" Situation

Inspired by the debate in the notes of a recent post, I think it's helpful to provide some context about this discourse before sharing my own take. That post didn't come out of nowhere- it's in dialogue with other recent posts about "afab housing", like this one.

The discussion continues on May 18th (no images; I only included them so I could properly ID)

This has been a point of discussion for a while- we see a rebuttal on February 3rd. On April 5th of last year, we see this famous comic by CDIGODDESS:

And even 3 years ago we see this Reddit thread

This is a critique of a western, typically US, Canada, and UK problem, but also applies to FLINTA in Germany.

Recently, I saw a post about how people discussing this issue were saying "trans men are actually the real victims here". I don't think anybody is saying that. Therefore, I qualify my comments about "afab only housing" by saying that theoretically:

in a situation where a trans man and a trans woman are homeless;

and only the trans man can access this form of housing given he detransitions, while the trans woman is left homeless;

the trans woman would be in a worse situation than the trans man.

But reality is more complex than this, and it's frankly ridiculous to say the trans man (and/or nonbinary person) has privilege here. Intersex people, as usual, have been entirely cut out of the equation. The post that set this discourse ablaze again on Tumblr says "trans men and trans women are both misgendered but only trans women are denied housing"

This is flat out wrong. I have a post from January sharing my own personal struggles as a trans man trying to find housing. (For context: I'm in the US)

In the end, I did find housing, but my roommate- a cis man- turned out to be trafficking minors, and came to accept rooming with me as a last resort, having been kicked out of his last residence for being a paedophile and assaulting his former roommate. For my safety, I had to move back in with my parents. I know people who don't have that option open to them. This is a danger.

It's clear to me that "AFAB-only housing" is correctly observed to be just a woke way to say "woman only" while excluding trans women from their definition. But people miss that due to erasure, the people who put out ads for "AFAB-only housing" forget the term* typically includes transmascs. In my experience, they don't expect transmascs or otherwise nonbinary people to apply, and if they do, they either exclude them entirely or attempt to detransition them.

*ignoring the obvious issues with the terminology, this is how the term is used by the broader public if they know the term at all

decadentqueentidalwave

"Theyfab is a slur against trans men!"

And nonbinary people, right?

...

...and nonbinary people, right?!?

carapaced

imo the reason that theyfab actually “works” as a slur is that it’s meant as an insult to nonbinary ppl because of its inherent derision for anyone seen as “not trying as hard” to pass as a binary gender, and its assumption that enben are somehow less trans because of this. So, first and foremost, it’s a slur against nonbinary ppl.

The myth around trans men is that they pass as a binary gender soooooo much easier and more quickly/reliably than trans women, so, when ppl who feel this way see trans men who do not pass, are gnc, or who are not making efforts to be stealth/100% pass as a cis man, the assumption is that (just like nonbinary ppl), they aren’t “really” trans, just sort of trans lite.

TLDR: It’s only an insult for trans men because of the idea that comparing them to nonbinary ppl is calling their transness into question

crystaluranium

See you’re definitely close but it’s not just that. This is an insult that goes all the way back to the early/mid 2010s, popularized around 2016 for… completely unknown reasons! /sarc

It owes a lot of its creation specifically to misogyny. I’m uncertain who exactly coined the term, but I do know it was widely popularized in “truscum” (lord yes going back that far) and “transmed”* spaces. It was used by trans women, trans men, and even some nonbinary people, all desperate to have their identities taken seriously, and they achieved this goal by throwing those they deemed to be the “most unserious and embarrassing” members of the community under the bus. (Notice how the MOGAI movement came to a shuddering stop…) So, anyone who didn’t want to medically transition, or anyone who used xenogenders or used neopronouns, or anyone who didn’t have a perfectly palatable gender conforming identity, or even anyone who spoke about how their ASAB affected their lives and experiences, especially if some level of their identity was based on that, was targeted. And wouldn’t you know it? People found particular ire towards people who were (assumed or actually) AFAB, were seen as gender nonconforming, were not medically transitioning for any reason, and who spoke openly about how their birth sex affected them. Enter “Theyfab” as a slur.

So hopefully you’re already seeing how this stems back to misogyny right? Like yes this is all obviously exorsexism, but trans people of all stripes honed in on this group of people they saw as loud annoying women. It’s extremely similar to how a lot of people who “fakeclaim” those who are self diagnosed with various mental illnesses, often target women (or people perceived as such) way more than men. Their misogyny led them to see this group as a bunch of bored women who wanted some “special” gender to claim for popularity and attention and for sympathy points, despite the fact that yk these people were being extensively and exhaustively harassed. There was a huge focus put on gender nonconformity, a focus on these people being “fat and ugly women with piercings and dyed hair”, not dissimilar to how conservative men talk about liberal women. The entire “blue hair and pronouns” bit you see from conservatives is an entire carryover from this phenomenon of “theyfab” hatred.

For binary trans people, there was a huge social pressure to not talk about one’s past experiences with gender at all otherwise you were seen as not being trans enough. Either you said “when I was young I always liked wearing my mommy’s high heels (if a trans gal)” or you said nothing at all, because any discussion of one’s former life before transition was basically a sure fire way to not be taken seriously as your real gender by cis society. And so, you had a bunch of people who were breaking this unspoken rule and actively talking about how they still faced issues (most oftenly from being AFAB), and it flew directly in the face of how binary trans people were “supposed” to act at the time. “It was a bad look” and “nobody will take trans people seriously if we speak openly about our birth sex” was the common thought (regardless of its truthfulness), so overwhelmingly there was this massive push to label anyone going against the grain as “not really trans”, a cis invader claiming to be trans for attention because “they don’t understand what it’s really like, it’s just a trendy fashion statement to them”. And yeah this is exactly what happened when more women started claiming to be bisexual or asexual this is just a long line of misogyny just this time it’s directed at people due to their perceived or actual genitalia.

“Theyfab” is structured entirely around this false idea of the cis woman invader. That the only reason one could possibly talk about or relate to their birth sex (especially if they’re not a binary trans person and not medically transitioning) is if they’re actually a cis person doing it for attention. It’s “an afab” who has only changed their pronouns to they/them without doing anything “meaningfully” transgender. Similarly related is “hefabs” - same phenomenon different pronouns - most oftenly utilized against trans men and mascs. When trans men are called “theyfab” they’re explicitly being told “you’re just an ugly cis woman imposter, you’re not really trans, you’re just a cis woman, so your every thought can be discarded”. It’s essentially misgendering but with extra steps.

I’m probably missing some more stuff here, but I hope I was able to add some more context. Additionally here’s this vid, recommend it because it touches some on the psychology of the phenomenon even without directly talking about it.

*disclaimer on my views on transmedicalism. I believe that insofar, as long as sex is categorized the way it is medically and with how insurance is structured in America, which has a huge amount of cultural influence, I think that there’s utility in classifying gender dysphoria as a medical disorder and posing that transitioning changes one’s sex even if dysphoria isn’t a disorder and sex categorized as is isn’t really factual for anybody. Gender dysphoria isn’t a disorder (just the natural response to body/mind incongruity, hence why cis people both perisex and intersex can experience gender dysphoria without necessarily being trans themselves, and that’s not even going into the weeds of gender dysphoria vs sex dysphoria), nor is it required to be trans, nor should it be seen as being required by the medical establishment. However, considering how much of transitioning is dependent on the medical system, it’s currently in our best interests to not have our needs dismissed as being cosmetic due to not being inherently a disability, and then get fucked over by insurance refusing to pay up. The insurance industry is fucked and they’d sooner have thousands of trans people die than lose a single cent. Any transmed take that goes beyond only supporting the utility of trans people not being fucked over by the medical system is completely intersexist and exorsexist and transphobic.

rabbitkinglune777

I think more non binary characters should be fat

rabbitkinglune777

fat and black and brown 👍🏾

rabbitkinglune777

kinda tired of non binary being tied to skinny androgyny that's mostly white. I say that's as a non binary transmasc/boy thing who's fat and black.

being non binary can look like anything and anyone but especially individuals who have different body types outside of thin. they can have body/facial hair too. show up for all enbies.

faemorrigan

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

faemorrigan

"this story is misogynistic!!"

>looks inside

>about the pressures of societal misogyny and how its bad

tlirsgender

Noticing a lack of gender nonconformity and then blaming trans people for it is the most bass ackwards shit in the world if you think about how any of this works for even a second. You know who Loves rising conservatism wrt sexual-gender roles? Trans people, obviously, they're stealing our gnc cis people and making them Actually Normaler and Non Controversial by getting a sex change [EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]

tlirsgender

As we all know trans women pop out of the ground fully formed within the binary no matter what and thusly begin turning the butches into men for their dastardly purposes. We have to save cis people. For gender nonconformity

tlirsgender

Like I literally HAVE noticed a decrease in gnc people/popularity of gnc aesthetics what with the fascism and it's because cis people are trying to get even cisgenderer. What with the fascism. It's pretty obvious what's happening here right like

cosmicanger

Candy cane snail, Liguus virgineus, Orthalicidae

This arboreal species is found in Haiti and the Dominican Republic

#bug #snail #so preddy...

ashen-vulture

Wait. Hold on. I just had one of those "was my experience normal or was my highschool just fuckin weird" moments.

Did anybody else have Strict No-PDA* rules at school?

(*PDA stands for public display of affection, such as kissing, kisses on the cheek/hand/etc, hugging, leaning on each other, cuddling, nuzzling, hair petting, back scratching, holding hands, or any other physical touch that could be considered friendly or affectionate)

Because we basically weren't allowed to touch each other.

One school day began with mild weather and ended in the 30f range (there was frost and light snow), so we were all wearing light jackets over short sleeves, no hats, scarves, or gloves. So standing at the bus stop and waiting for nearly an hour we decided to huddle together for warmth and the teachers broke us up for PDA. Even when we told them we were freezing. They wouldn't let us back in the building to warm up either, we just had to sit in the cold making sure to leave room for Jesus.

ashen-vulture

We would do "air hugs" because you weren't allowed to hug your friends.

ashen-vulture

One time I got in trouble because a friend and I were playfully irritating each other in that way that kids do when they're bored. I play punched his arm a few times, like zero weight behind those punches with little cartoon sound effects added.

A teacher got VERY mad at me. We explained we were just playing and we were friends. My friend stepped up and explained that I wasn't actually hitting him, it was just friend fun.

Teacher stayed just as mad and said that wasn't allowed either. We weren't roughhousing, we weren't pushing and were barely touching, but we were FRIEND touching, you know? Can't have that.

The two worst kinds of touch are affectionate and violent. The children must remain blank and grey without romance or rivalry or self defense or friendships that include hugs.

ashen-vulture

My school also had complete razorwire fencing, a security checkpoint, windows that weren't allowed to open, only 7 minute breaks between classes, and was at double its student capacity the whole time I was there... it smelled like instant mashed potatoes and cheap brown gravy, wall mold, history books that were 40 years out of date, and a fresh basketball court.

I'm aware I spent 10-12 hours a day in a subadult prison, but that was the only kind of school experience I had. So it's easy for me to not even think to double-check whether an experience was universal.

Hahhahaha fuck my highschool.

#highschool #american high school #high school

ashen-vulture

Wait. Hold on. I just had one of those "was my experience normal or was my highschool just fuckin weird" moments.

Did anybody else have Strict No-PDA* rules at school?

(*PDA stands for public display of affection, such as kissing, kisses on the cheek/hand/etc, hugging, leaning on each other, cuddling, nuzzling, hair petting, back scratching, holding hands, or any other physical touch that could be considered friendly or affectionate)

Because we basically weren't allowed to touch each other.

One school day began with mild weather and ended in the 30f range (there was frost and light snow), so we were all wearing light jackets over short sleeves, no hats, scarves, or gloves. So standing at the bus stop and waiting for nearly an hour we decided to huddle together for warmth and the teachers broke us up for PDA. Even when we told them we were freezing. They wouldn't let us back in the building to warm up either, we just had to sit in the cold making sure to leave room for Jesus.

ashen-vulture

We would do "air hugs" because you weren't allowed to hug your friends.

ashen-vulture

One time I got in trouble because a friend and I were playfully irritating each other in that way that kids do when they're bored. I play punched his arm a few times, like zero weight behind those punches with little cartoon sound effects added.

A teacher got VERY mad at me. We explained we were just playing and we were friends. My friend stepped up and explained that I wasn't actually hitting him, it was just friend fun.

Teacher stayed just as mad and said that wasn't allowed either. We weren't roughhousing, we weren't pushing and were barely touching, but we were FRIEND touching, you know? Can't have that.

The two worst kinds of touch are affectionate and violent. The children must remain blank and grey without romance or rivalry or self defense or friendships that include hugs.

#highschool #american high school #high school

ashen-vulture

Wait. Hold on. I just had one of those "was my experience normal or was my highschool just fuckin weird" moments.

Did anybody else have Strict No-PDA* rules at school?

(*PDA stands for public display of affection, such as kissing, kisses on the cheek/hand/etc, hugging, leaning on each other, cuddling, nuzzling, hair petting, back scratching, holding hands, or any other physical touch that could be considered friendly or affectionate)

Because we basically weren't allowed to touch each other.

One school day began with mild weather and ended in the 30f range (there was frost and light snow), so we were all wearing light jackets over short sleeves, no hats, scarves, or gloves. So standing at the bus stop and waiting for nearly an hour we decided to huddle together for warmth and the teachers broke us up for PDA. Even when we told them we were freezing. They wouldn't let us back in the building to warm up either, we just had to sit in the cold making sure to leave room for Jesus.

ashen-vulture

We would do "air hugs" because you weren't allowed to hug your friends.

#highschool #high school #american high school

Wait. Hold on. I just had one of those "was my experience normal or was my highschool just fuckin weird" moments.

Did anybody else have Strict No-PDA* rules at school?

(*PDA stands for public display of affection, such as kissing, kisses on the cheek/hand/etc, hugging, leaning on each other, cuddling, nuzzling, hair petting, back scratching, holding hands, or any other physical touch that could be considered friendly or affectionate)

Because we basically weren't allowed to touch each other.

One school day began with mild weather and ended in the 30f range (there was frost and light snow), so we were all wearing light jackets over short sleeves, no hats, scarves, or gloves. So standing at the bus stop and waiting for nearly an hour we decided to huddle together for warmth and the teachers broke us up for PDA. Even when we told them we were freezing. They wouldn't let us back in the building to warm up either, we just had to sit in the cold making sure to leave room for Jesus.

#highschool #high school #american high school