Rebellum

♡ Queer 💐 🌻they/them🌼 In my 20s- Please be 18+ to follow (I prefer only interacting with adults) ☆ I may be following for a side blog. 🌻 Apparently I'm red on shinigami eyes now? Please don't trust that intersexist transphobic as hell app.

[rebellum]

I think i accidentally stopped watching TV shows?? I cannot remember the last Malcom in the middle nevermind. It was Malcolm in the middle. I saw like 2 seasons of that with my boyfriend in March. That was th3 last tv show I watched.

[variousqueerthings]

do think when people say "we know marriage is a social construct, but it's a legal way to be able to take care of someone else and vice versa" as if those of us making a point about marriage (i would say, a lot of us being aromantic people especially) don't know this fact, are missing a bit of the point about why this is stressed and potentially not giving enough grace to (again especially aromantic) people who say this.

when it's framed as a "so just get married for legality reasons" and im like. you mean like how gay people married/marry people of the opposite gender for legality reasons? and that's considered to be a symptom of a problem, not the solution? you want people to "just" get married against their will because it's the only solution this system has available?

if people cannot or will not get married for whatever reason -- not just for being aromantic, but, say, due to inefficient disability support measures within marriage, because of having had bad experiences with marriage in the past, because of being polyamorous, because some element of marriage is ineffective, unwanted, limited, discriminatory, or hell, because you can't find somebody to marry or nobody wants to marry you, or maybe because you just plain don't want to without there being a distinct Reason -- then it's a problem that this is the only framework in place for people to be afforded certain legal and social protections.

i am glad for others that more people can get married, but it's a flawed institution with gaping holes that isn't for everyone and builds social structures that leave so many people behind and unsupported. this is abundantly obvious in the way that we saw why people pushed for the need for equal marriage in the first place.

that's what's said when making a point that it's a social construct. and also what's meant (partially) when pushing against the idea that "love" as concept isn't at the core of queer (amongst others hinted at in this post) activism, because it's about building better structures. if the only people we care about are those we "love" within a family unit, or those who successfully manage to pretend that unit without actually really wanting it, and if not being in that unit for whatever reason means that care isn't going to be/is no longer afforded, then are we really doing any better than heteronormativity?

more people need to read up on "amatonormativity" from the original source (this is a summary from the same person written in 2012 and so doesn't include aromantic, but it's all in there) before they start pushing marriage as the ultimate goal of queer liberation, or indeed any liberation.

[offshoreoilrig]

[variousqueerthings]

do think when people say "we know marriage is a social construct, but it's a legal way to be able to take care of someone else and vice versa" as if those of us making a point about marriage (i would say, a lot of us being aromantic people especially) don't know this fact, are missing a bit of the point about why this is stressed and potentially not giving enough grace to (again especially aromantic) people who say this.

when it's framed as a "so just get married for legality reasons" and im like. you mean like how gay people married/marry people of the opposite gender for legality reasons? and that's considered to be a symptom of a problem, not the solution? you want people to "just" get married against their will because it's the only solution this system has available?

if people cannot or will not get married for whatever reason -- not just for being aromantic, but, say, due to inefficient disability support measures within marriage, because of having had bad experiences with marriage in the past, because of being polyamorous, because some element of marriage is ineffective, unwanted, limited, discriminatory, or hell, because you can't find somebody to marry or nobody wants to marry you, or maybe because you just plain don't want to without there being a distinct Reason -- then it's a problem that this is the only framework in place for people to be afforded certain legal and social protections.

i am glad for others that more people can get married, but it's a flawed institution with gaping holes that isn't for everyone and builds social structures that leave so many people behind and unsupported. this is abundantly obvious in the way that we saw why people pushed for the need for equal marriage in the first place.

that's what's said when making a point that it's a social construct. and also what's meant (partially) when pushing against the idea that "love" as concept isn't at the core of queer (amongst others hinted at in this post) activism, because it's about building better structures. if the only people we care about are those we "love" within a family unit, or those who successfully manage to pretend that unit without actually really wanting it, and if not being in that unit for whatever reason means that care isn't going to be/is no longer afforded, then are we really doing any better than heteronormativity?

more people need to read up on "amatonormativity" from the original source (this is a summary from the same person written in 2012 and so doesn't include aromantic, but it's all in there) before they start pushing marriage as the ultimate goal of queer liberation, or indeed any liberation.

[arotechno]

youre like those people who wont shut up about their iq except its about you being aro

i don't usually post "hate" that i get but i'm making an exception because this is so fucking funny. yeah motherfucker this is my blog about being aro where i talk about being aro. man that's crazy. i'm gonna go on someone's recipe blog and complain that they post so fucking much about recipes

the block button is right there buddy you don't have to follow aro blogs if you don't want to i promise 😘

[rebellum]

I miss being a kid and spitting out black watermelon seeds. Wtf is this thing.

[depsidase]

[unicorncryptid]

"my life isn't a crime, I'm not one of those people -"

"you sure? new parameters for Those People just dropped. check again."

[lizardywizard]

And if you truly cannot imagine this, if you're convinced that it will never happen to you, consider this one thing.

Would you want scammers to know the state of your loved one's dementia?

[headspace-hotel]

Oh. Shit.

[rebellum]

This watermelon looks like a sad macaque

[rebellum]

Being trans in a megacity or whatever theyre called must be so weird. What do you mean all the trans people in, like, new York city aren't at most 2 connections removed from eachother. Thats wild. Are you okay?

[trans-sapphic-mess]

If that trans girl gets super weirdly apologetic, like is borderline apologizing for breathing or is apologizing for things that are basically nothing/happened forever ago, whatever you do, do not leave her alone. Chances are it's one of two things, and neither of them are good; she's either bordering on a breakdown and thinks basically everything she does is wrong, or is past that point and desperately wants to make sure no one's angry at her before she hurts herself/takes her own life. You might think it's weird, you might get tired of it and want to push her away, but for the love of god do not do that. Her apologizing every 0.5 seconds is because she's been taught not to value her own emotions, but they're overpowering her and she doesn't know what to do other than apologize like her life depends on it. Her life might not depend on it, but it very well could depend on how you respond to her heart's most desperate cries for help

[mousidy]

a gentle, sweet "are you apologizing for the sun shining? :)" is one of my favorite ways to respond to other trans women who apologize for existing, for taking up space, for having needs, for wanting to be known and loved. you have to let her know she matters to you, that her presence is like the sunshine

when I treat trans women this way, I notice they apologize less over time and get more comfortable voicing their needs to me without shrinking themselves

[doyoulovethewayzeylily]

it's not. what if we killed whoever taught you to feel that way

[rebellum]

I wish I had to words to properly communicate the poetic and romantic way I see life. Instead I'm like.

The soft warm air from the fan doesnt reach the sticky parts of my skin. I wonder if the singing robin is in the same sun beam as I am while I admire the glow off my butt. I want iced tea..

[holymagdalenes]

"There's no hope for the future." And that's how they felt during the Atomic Age, during the World Wars, during the Enlightenment Revolutions, during thr plagues, during the Viking raids, during the fall of Rome.

Yet, we persisted.

[ave-immaculata]

[letmetakeastabatit]

CS Lewis had something to say about this

[elexuscal]

also on the topic of Cozy Fantasy: I feel like the Circle of Magic books by Tamora Pierce are criminally neglected in this conversation. Like that series has so Many of the popular hallmarks: found fantasy! A magic system based on crafting! Psychic soul bonds! The two main mentor figures are literal cottage core lesbians.

But, crucially, the books manage all of this while having stakes. There are the relationship, personal level ones-- will these orphaned kids become friends? Will they learn to overcome the traumas of their respective backstories? Will they learn to master their magic?

And then there are Larger, life-threatening stakes... but crucially, not 'save-the-world' level. Pierce made the excellent choice for the first quartet (when the kids are like ~10-12 ish) to generally have the threats be natural. An earthquake, a forest fire, a pandemic; there's a pirate raid, but even then the framing feels more like a force of nature. As the kids age, the threats do become more human, but remain generally localized. A crime syndicate, a serial killer. The focus of the story remains what can we do to improve things, here, now, where we are?

They really are such delightful reads and I think they could offer a lot of insight into how stakes don't need to be End of the World to still be tense and impactful.

[pennyplainknits]

I love the Emelan books (more than the Tortall ones if I was pushed to pick) but even though they are aimed at younger readers at the beginning I don't think they count as cosy. The Healing in the Vine is a pretty harrowing account of an epidemic, Magic Steps has pretty detailed descriptions of drug addiction, pretty much all of the young mages kill people in ways that are personal and visceral.

I wouldn't count Lark and Rosethorn as cottage core lesbians (apart from anything else, Rosethorn's bi). They do have a calm, peaceful cottage but we see them both deal with the trauma of their own backstories. There is conflict, and more challenging themes.

[elexuscal]

Hi, yes. So.

Okay so I actually totally agree with you. I am strongly in favour that the problem with the 'cozy genre' writ large is it is lacking in meaningful conflict.

I made this post partly in response to ongoing conversations with friends about our grievances with this genre, as well as another post about how, in spite of my ambivalence, I think Cozy Fantasy as a genre is trying to achieve some cool stuff. (That post is found here, which is my bad for not linking in the original one, but to be fair I figured that this would be seen by like 10 of my mutuals who share similar grievances with the genre).

In this context, this post was meant for me to give an example of a story that included a lot of the aspects that have become hallmarks of "cozy fantasy"-- found family, a focus on crafts (including gardening and textiles, but also 'rougher' crafts like metalworking), animal companions, and 'cottagecore' lesbians-- BUT did all of this by setting up conflict and stakes. These stakes are both material/physical (primarily natural disasters) and also emotional-- will the characters be able to recover from (quite significant!) trauma? Will they learn to be friends despite their radically different backgrounds? Will they become skilled masters of their crafts? It does all of this while still being aimed at younger readers, which is impressive in its own right.

In spite of my personal issues with the 'cozy fantasy' genre, I think its popularity speaks to the fact that people are clearly resonating with something in it. My goal here is not to dismiss the genre out of hand-- but rather encourage folks who enjoy it to take a look at a work that I think has a lot of those elements, and hopefully take inspiration from it.

[badger-angel]

always interesting whenever people start talking about polyamory as particularly unstable or prone to jealousy bc it begs the question of if they’ve ever seen or heard of monogamous couples

[badger-angel]

are you aware that those people are having sincere earnest discussions on whether following someone on social media counts as cheating

[memory-of-stargazing]

“It just means you have to work double as hard as most people!”

Well maybe I don’t WANT to work double as hard as abled people!! Maybe I deserve a BREAK!! Maybe I’ve been working MORE THAN double as hard for MY WHOLE LIFE and it’s led me to immense burnout & caused me to develop several MORE disabilities!! Maybe I should be ACCOMMODATED so I don’t have to KILL MY BODY AND BRAIN over trying to do what abled people can do!! Maybe I DON’T have to work double as hard!! Maybe if there’s the option to let me NOT work double as hard, I should have it, because I’m already working double as hard JUST TO SURVIVE!!

Why do you think disabled people deserve less rest than mentally & physically abled people?

[great-american-chapel]

Emerging dragonfly at 1am

[sunshineface]

Wind Farm 12”x12” acrylic on canvas