Procrastinator Land

An ordinary person with dirty mind and even dirtier hobbies and likes. Pure minds, beware.

[hypnagogue]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

apologies for the late post but since i’m finally catching up on tumblr i feel the need to post proper fic link posts so here goes the first one. a few months ago i got very bored and decided to attempt one of those one word fic prompt thing and @ashleyantwolf had kindly dropped one of the most glorious words english has to offer.

it took me a whole month to actually work something worth posting (and it still doesn’t actually contain cockwarming because i can’t write porn) but here it is in the internet-equivalent form of flesh.

[assmart]

new sport: one handed embroidery. because if i stop petting my dog we'll both die.

[assmart]

there's no one else to pet her. i'm the only one here to take on this burden

[assmart]

[variegated-fairywren]

how the fuck did you take THAT photo

[assmart]

you people are making this harder than it needs to be smh

[auraquartzsystem]

Why is there a camera on your CEILING

[assmart]

it's a phone.

[epic2222]

And why do you have 3 phones?

[assmart]

i'm an aspiring problem.

[spiderrrling]

I am a(n):

⚪ Male

⚪ Female

🔘 Writer

Looking for

⚪ Boyfriend

⚪ Girlfriend

🔘 An incredibly specific word that I can’t remember

[what-even-is-thiss]

*wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat*

WAIT IT’S CALLED A THROW PILLOW

[holorifle]

here is a super helpful website for this kinda thing!

the first result isn’t always the one you’re looking for but when you press enter it’ll give you a ton of words related to your query that’ll probably have what you’re wanting, or something better

here’s some examples:

[tilltheendwilliwrite]

Reblog to save a writer’s sanity.

[salted-delights-deactivated2021]

T h a n k y o u k i n d s i r .

[officialleehadan]

THANK YOU REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE

[niggazinmoscow]

cheat code

[amoisthobo]

This will work, I used to be a recruiter. Recruiters don’t got time to read every single resume they see, they look for keywords, find what they want, Call and do a preliminary interview. That’s it lol

[afronerdism]

This is amazing

[thesagexoe-deactivated20190522]

Omg!!!

[between-stars-and-waves]

Boosting this!

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

AMAZING :D

I will remember this tip!

[bitchesgetriches]

I have no idea if this works at all, but I don’t see how it could hurt. I’m all about resume cheat codes. Here’s some more advice:

How to Write a Resume so You Actually Have a Prayer of Getting Hired

How to Write a Cover Letter like You Actually Want the Job 

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

Hey, if it works, it works! 

And there’s that initiative they’re always wanting you to have! 

[otherwindow]

my fav action series trope is when the characters go to an ordinary store and this shit happens fdgjhdfgk

[thatnoulguyorsomething]

Ok but imagine the opposite

You walk into a guns store

You show the claw-teared three-days-beard Chad Broski clerk some fancy card

He presses a button below the counter

And the gun racks open up to reveal a snack bar

[weaver-z]

POV: It’s 2004, the school day is almost over, and it’s raining. You’re daydreaming and staring out the window during Debate Class while a prep and a stoner have a spirited argument at the front. 

[mossdyke]

I literally zoned out

[weaver-z]

That’s the vibe we’re going for baby!

[weaver-z]

Shout out to the bad bitches who powered through the zone-out-inducing white noise and listened to the insane conversation going on in the background

[failedclone]

I zoned out but then I vaguely heard “There’s no communists in Antarctica” and my brain immediately logged the FUCK back on

[professorsparklepants]

Why does my debate class have classic children’s picture book “Bread and Jam for Frances” in the window sill

[fluffygif]

Ipnotico

[brunhiddensmusings]

the music is almost as good as that visual

[catawampuscreations-deactivated]

Turn the sound on! You will not be disappointed, people!

[darth-tella]

FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD, UNMUTE!!!!

[bunjywunjy]

FOUND IT:

[becausebirds]

[iwishitwas1983]

I’m crying.

[floacist]

LMAOOOOOOOOO the screaming in the beginning “mr. owl” “oh jesus christ” “please don’t give me that look” “please don’t fly” DYING omg

[alrightalrightalrightalyssa-dea]

That owl is 30000000% done

[sasstrid-and-dorkcup]

every time this video graces me with its presence i feel obliged to reblog it

[bygrabthars-hammer-deactivated2]

This gives me great joy

[roboco-san]

what really gets me about ace-attorney-sexy-clown.gif is the suspender snap. that has to hurt. why is she doing that

[good-ol-ben-kenobi]

OK...... WHAT?

[roboco-san]

[de-sterren-nacht]

oh! those arent her real tits, theyre balloons! theres a gif of her tits popping when you catch her in a lie

[roboco-san]

holy shit

[hawwwlucha]

isn't she a murderer in that case she's in?

[smutav]

[liquid-geodes]

Bitch what the fuck-

[skaiandestiny]

That’s not even her real hair.

[skiplo-wave]

Same energy 

[annesmiless]

Some eaiser variations of push ups to help you build the strength to do a traditional one!

[moniquill]

I don’t generally reblog ‘fitness’ stuff but gaddamn could I use some more arm strength.

[the-goddamazon-deactivingsoon-d]

Push-ups are my worst nightmare. I can only do 44 before I pass out on the floor.

[maxxiegalaxy-deactivated2022032]

“I can only do 44” hahaha omg I can’t even do one.

[o-lascaux-o]

yes good

I was always frustrated how my P.E. teachers wanted all of us to go “all-or-none” and basically hurt ourselves without letting us build up from square-one like in the first gif.  Then they’d fuckin yell at us for not doing it right >:|

Knee-pushups is not square-one.

[arkilliandragon]

When I got my first personal trainer, she had me doing push ups almost standing upright in the weight lifting bars so that I could do 15 reps and 3 sets of them. It’s more about the technique of the push up, and if you’re pushing too much weight, you can’t exersize the correct muscles within their tolerances. This post is pretty important tto know cause of that.

[jhameia]

I was introduced to the knee push-up last year and it was such a fucking game changer. I had NO idea it was possible to work those same muscles just with a slight variation in position. 

[personal-scientist]

I wanna just verify that these are excellent for building strength, both as someone who took weights class in high school with a good teacher, and as someone who’s had a lifetime of physical therapy (not for my arms specifically, but I’ve spent a lot of time in sports medicine centers). And again, if the vertical one in the first gif is difficult, you don’t even have to lean into it like that. Start standing, and only lean as much as it takes you to lower towards the wall.

And remember, many exercises can be modified in this way! I did an image search for “modified pull up” and got exactly what I was looking for right away, which is this:

Doing pull ups on a lower bar, or from the straps with handles that gyms sometimes have (called the TRX - they can also be used to support yourself during squats and some balance exercises) is a lot easier than jumping straight into vertical pullups, and lets you build up that muscle with exercises that are still comfortable and safe for you, so you can do more sets of more reps.

As a general rule, always start with lower-strain exercises and practice good form before you work your way up. You don’t want to have to unlearn bad habits that could lead to injury later as the difficulty increases.

[jecook]

@imfemalewarrior I’m assuming you’ve seen this post but in case you haven’t—it seems like your kind of thing

[imfemalewarrior]

Here are push up and pull up progressions! 

-FemaleWarrior, She/They 

[peppervl]

Because I have serious issues with core strength and cannot do a sit up or a crunch without using muscles I shouldn’t and hurting myself, I looked up core exercises for beginners (because modified sit ups just have me ways to make it harder), and here’s what I found.

All from here, which also includes sit ups with the idea that you start up and don’t go all the way down.

[rosslynpaladin]

This stuff on the bottom is some of the stuff I do for physical therapy, can vouch for it

[tiniblu]

bokuaka week day 3: future 2018 has no idea what’s coming…

[ujishimawatakoshi-deactivated20]

just in case yall dont understand my breeding kink yet 😽 creds to @/5takuhu1 on twt

[miamitu-illust]

AU where Sokka’s high-on-cactus-juice encounter with the giant mushroom takes a dark turn. (Also he has a gun)

based on this beautiful tumblr post

bonus:

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[miaislying]

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

decay exists as an extant form of life

[miaislying]

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

[miyaaaa]

i’ve been dying to draw this idea for like,,, weeks now.

[plainpainn]

ok i can’t get rid the idea of sakusa having at least 7 steps skincare routine

[moonfrostt]

the fastest way to cheer up tsumu is with samu's onigiri