**Warning: fetish content** Contains graphic description of birth.
This one includes
Trans dad
Fast, unassisted birth
Fetal ejection reflex
Supportive partner
--
The contraction hits River like a truck. One second he's moaning deep, the next he's leaning over his lap on the toilet, crunching down with the hardest, deepest grunt, his body pushing on its own.
"AAAAAAAOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUWHHHHHH..."
It's so hard. His knees are together, feet pointed outwards. As his body continues to bear down and strain, he leans harder over his lap, his rock-hard belly touching his shaking thighs, his hands reaching back to grip the back of the toilet.
He can barely get a breath in before his body says it's time to push again, and push hard. He grunts even tighter, higher, his feet lifting off the floor as he squints at a spot on the wall.
"AAAAAOOOOOHHHHHH FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKUHH!!!"
He pants, willing the acid in his stomach to stay down. "Oh, she's coming. She's coming, James I can't--" his voice cuts off into a really tight grunt as he feels James's hand on his back. "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrr........"
"You're doing it, love, come on."
All he feels is fire. It feels like his entire body is being sucked down out of his hole, all the pressure in the world being concentrated in that tender spot. He can feel her head inside him, feel his body squeeeeze with all its might as she lowers through his pelvis. He can hear some fluid plop into the water past his own inhuman grunting, and he needs to breathe. He knows he needs to breathe but he can't stop it. The urge to push is so strong, it's overpowering him completely.
Then, quicker than ever comes the burning. That intense, all-encompassing fire as his baby's hard skull lowers and widens his tissue. Why do all of their babies have such big fucking heads?
He tries not to scream, but he just can't stop it. It's completely beyond his control as he leans more over his lap, gripping the toilet for dear life, knees coming up higher and feet off the floor, teeth bared and his eyes finally scrunching shut.
But River can't! His body is locked in, locked down, he's pushing with every fucking muscle he has, feeling that huge head push just behind his tissue. He's going to fucking push her out into the toilet!
But it stops. Eventually, it has to. River is properly panting, burning and trembling everywhere. He widens his legs, puts a hand down there to feel. Her head is right there, already peeking out past his slit.
"Do you want to go on your hands and knees?" James asks him, taking his arm and supporting his trembling weight.
River just keeps panting and feeling, then wipes the blood on his fingers on his thigh. "I dunno. I dunno, I just need her out. I can't do it... I can't."
"Of course you can," James insists. "You're already doing it, baby, her head's right there."
Sooner than expected, he feels the urge again. He grips for James's sleeve with his bloody fingers, panting hard as his belly contracts inward.
"She's coming, she's coming," River pants, feeling himself start to bear down, feeling his muscles contract and open around her hard head. He needs to get upright.
James is only supporting half his weight and River is barely off the toilet seat, still standing with his knees bent low, but there's no time. He needs to push now. He's still grunting, trying not to panic, and he grips the back of James's shirt and his own thigh as his body locks in, belly going taut against him and all his muscles stiffening, and he gives a huge push down, dipping lower and stiffer.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR" The grunt is guttural and wet, involuntary, as he bears down as hard and long as he can. Her head is a bowling ball in his pelvis, dropped low and stretching his tissue like hell. It feels like it's stretched to its limit, but he knows there's so much more to go. The pressure is intense. It's impossible to stop, and it feels like he's going to split in half if he keeps going. There's only one way out of this. He thinks he can get her head out on this one if he just pushes really, really hard.
He raises just a little as the push ebbs away, James scrambling to fix his grip on him -- he must be heavy -- but then he gears up to go right back. Reaches back to pull the bottom of his ass cheek open in the vain hope that it'll help make room for her head. He can feel his entire body shaking, his stiff legs especially, spread as wide open as he can get them. He's having trouble getting a grip with his foot on the floor.
With a hard and guttural involuntary "EUH---", River focuses all of his power on pushing down on that burning bowling ball. He starts to tip his head back as he bares his teeth, trembling with the force, still holding himself open and squatting a little deeper into the pressure as if that'll help pop her head out. He hears James's voice, but not the words. He knows he's not going to get her head out when he starts to feel that red hot desperation for air. Just a little more though, he can feel her slipping down, moving on out on her own, making his body keep hold of the push...
But right when he feels her move, he can't hold it anymore. His held air bursts out of him with a "DAH!" and he has no idea how long he held it.
James had bent his knees a little bit to keep them both upright. He's gripping River fiercely, trembling himself as River hears him saying, "Amazing, baby, you're right there."
River uses his hand behind himself to feel his perineum. He's stretched open, her heavy head peeking out. It bobs up and down just a little as he pants. He can feel her moving and dropping. She wants to come out. It's impossible to hold that pressure and burning. He can't wait. He needs to push her out.
With another guttural grunt, his body makes the choice for him. He feels his belly squeeze her down, and he leans down into it, lowering his pelvis a bit more so he's more or less sitting in the air, his stiff arm holding the underside of his thigh now, just near her descending head.
He hears himself grunt, tight and unrecognizable, "She'scom...."
He hears James encouraging him to push. Just a little more.
His grunt escapes into a guttural strain, and he feels himself bend down more. The pressure is insane. His face is burning, his body completely covered in sweat. It's dripping down his neck, the sides of his big hard belly, his thighs, his ankles.
He widens his legs more at the end of this push as far as they can go, legs trembling, putting a little more into it, as much as he possibly can for the final oompf, and his trembly strangled grunt bursts out of his teeth, "DHHR!!"
He can feel the burn as his stretched tissue bounces back up, her head hiding back. But with a quick feel, he can tell she's almost there.
"Come on, baby," he pants. "Come on, you can do it."
James helps him to his knees on a towel on the floor. He rushes around him, grabbing more towels, River thinks. He doesn't pay attention. He's too busy breathing, breathing, breathing. Just blowing air into that horrible burning and pressure, trying to keep open, trying not to clamp down on her head and suck her back inside.
"That's so good, Riv, keep doing it just like that," he hears James say eventually.
Between pressurized blows of air, River asks, "Howmuchisout?"
"Top of her head. She's coming in and out, you're gonna push her head out on the next
one, okay?"
"I'm trying... I'm trying."
"You will. You're doing it perfectly, babe, you just focus now."
He could feel her hard head going back in, taking away some of that intense burning. But then it hits him again, hard as hell. He can't hold on anymore. He has to just surrender, just let go. To hell with being scared of tearing. It's going to happen. He can't stop the urge.
He doesn't even have time to warn James, who's on his feet and running the tap, before he plants his palms on the tile floor and opens his legs as wide as he can with a massive, guttural grunt.
It's so powerful, he can't close his mouth. His belly touches the towel on the floor as he leans back and down, pushing his bottom into the floor with all the pressure in the world.
Holy fuck, the burning. It's opening, he knows, because he feels like he's going to rip wide open.
James is saying something, probably encouragement, but River can't hear the words. He just grunts, tipping his face closer to the floor, feeling like his face is going to fucking explode with all the pressure packed into it. No doubt he's red as a beet.
"UUUHHHHHHHH," he grunts it out, but she wants out right now. He can feel her squirm and turn inside him, helping him but oh, the pain is horrible. He puts his hand over her emerging head as he leans back and bears down again, grunting tight and loud, "SHE'S CROWNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGUUURRRRGGGGGGGHHH...."
"She is, you've got it, one more."
River shoves down again, determined to push her whole head out on this one. His baby is almost out. It's almost over. He just needs to put in this last bit of effort for her, just needs to be strong.
He gives his baby back-to-back pushes, not even sure if he's still having a contraction anymore. It all hurts like hellfire and he needs her out NOW. His hand is still holding her scalp, so he feels every hard shove as he puts absolutely everything he has into pushing her out, using every muscle in his body and opening, opening, opening.
He can feel James's hands around her crown, can feel a warm towel he has pressed there, and he braces himself for each hard push, bearing down down down into that warm pressure, into his husband's hands. James has them both. It's just them. He can fully let go, can trust James completely.
Push, push, push, River barely makes a sound. Or maybe he does but he can't hear himself anymore. He just clenches down and feels that big hard head stretching him more more, a little more each time. He's locked in. This is it. This is the last of it, and she needs his effort now.
He hears James tell him that he's at her eyes. River is fully primal, straining down so hard as his whole body trembles. He can't give her the chance to suck back in, not now. He has to push her through that threshold. All other thoughts besides PUSH leave his mind as he bears down as hard as he possibly can with singleminded focus, concentrating fully on the burn and stretch as he feels his tissues peel back over her nose.
One more breath in, opening his legs as wide as they can go, his hand feeling the globe of her head, her wet hair, and he shoves back into James's hands completely silent.
He feels her head pop out almost instantly, the quickest sharpest burn, and there's the relief. Fluid is dripping to the towel, down River's arm as he's still holding her head. Panting and shouting, River feels her head before he needs to put both hands on the floor and brace himself. He's still contracting, harder this time. It's the last bit of strength, the final push, the final stretch. He's leaving blood on the floor under his hand. He can hear James sobbing and sniffling with joy and anxiety. For him, for their girl, River has to make this count.
Mouth wide open, River roars with all his God-given strength, giving their baby the hardest push of his life. His mind detaches from his body as he feels her shoulder pop down and stretch him open.
He can see himself as if he's looking at someone else, on his knees on the floor, spread wide open, his t-shirt rucked up over his muscular back as he spreads his arms out and holds them open across the floor, his chin practically on the tiles and his face completely red and shiny as he makes an inhuman sound through his clenched teeth. And his baby's head fully out, James's hands holding beneath her so gently. Her neck is out, the rest of her coming slowly and steadily with River's strength. James doesn't pull at all. She comes out with River's final push alone.
Her body is soft and wiggly. With that final brutal push, she shoots out into James's hands and the towel he holds. River releases his air and his strength in a loud, breathy grunt. His body wants to collapse, but he has to make sure she's okay. He has to hear her cry.
"James," he pants, "Oh, oh, oh God!"
"She's okay, Riv, she's trying to cry!"
River tries to turn, and James helps him. He sits up, his back against James's chest, as James passes him their baby through his legs. James helps him lift up his t-shirt, now soiled, so their baby can feel his skin.
There she is. She's pink, her hair as wet and dark as her siblings. She's shrieking, her gummy mouth wide open. The shape of her head is practically round, not coned.
"That was so fast," River cries. "Fuck, I thought I was going to die!" He properly sobs then, and James kisses him, crying himself. Together they cradle their daughter against his chest.
"You did it on your own," James says against his face. "I knew you could. My God, Riv, your strength. You are no-nonsense."
River laugh-sobs, and they turn their attention to their baby.
Authors note: just had this idea itching in my head and decided to write it! Fic underneath the cut!
Evan Buckley had always wanted a family of his own, so when the pregnancy test came back positive that rainy afternoon, he was delighted.
Of course pregnancy hadnāt been easy by any means. He was put on strict desk duty throughout his pregnancy and finally went on parental leave at 38 weeks.
That was exactly 2 weeks and 3 days ago. In that time, he had made so many loaves of bread, he had decided to sell them locally to make some extra cash.
But today, he felt off. He had awoken much earlier than usual. At 6 am he was wide awake, glaring at a snoring Eddie.
Deciding to let Eddie sleep and not deal with Buck flopping around, he had made his way into the living room.
For about an hour he was content to just chill on the couch, idly catching up on messages and half listening to the news.
But what he assumed were braxton hicks seemed to be getting stronger and stronger with each one.
āLetās call your auntie Hen-ā he mused lightly to his bump, running a hand over the swell as the baby gave a little kick,
āHello?ā Henās groggy voice came up as Buck slowly stood.
āHey Hen uhh.. can I ask you something?ā Buck asked, feeling a bit sheepish as he started to pace.
āYeah sure. Are you okay? Is bean okay?ā Hen asked, now more awake. Voice laced with concern.
āUhh yeah, Iām just feeling a lot of.. cramps I guess- Iām notāā Buck paused, a little caught off guard at the sudden vice grip in his low sitting middle. Fumbling to grab onto the mantle, trying to widen his stance.
Blinking rapidly, he watched as the crotch of his pants became wet.
āOh.ā He breathed out.
āBuck? Buck? Whatās wrong?ā Henās voice broke him out of his haze.
āI uhā Iāll call you back Hen, I gotta tell Eddie something-ā Buck explained.
āTell me what?ā Eddieās drowsy voice sounded from the hallway as Buck hung up the call.
Buck turned to the other firefighter, gripping sheepishly.
āBuck?ā Eddie asked, āare you okay?ā He asked.
āUmm.. yeah-ā Buck nodded slowly. āMy.. my waters just uh- broke.ā Buck explained, motioning to the wet spot on his pants.
It took a few moments for Eddie to process the information, staring blankly at his boyfriend.
āWeāre gonna have a baby.. today-ā Eddie whispered.
āYeah, yeah- we are.ā Buck nodded, not being able to help but grin.
āOkay- okay.ā Eddie nodded, trying his hardest not to panic.
āHey hey-ā Buck immediately took the others' hands into his own.
āWe got this Eddie-ā Buck reassured as Eddieās hand cradled the others baby bump.
āI sure hope so-ā Eddie mumbled, kissing Buck on the cheek.
āIām positive.ā Buck hummed.
-
The midwife had warned Buckās labor might progress slowly due to the fact that this was his first birth. But things seemed to be quite the opposite.
By early afternoon, he was in transition stage. Leaning up against the bed frame, Eddie wipes his sweaty face, muttering soft encouragement into his ear.
āIām going to check you again, okay mister Buckley?ā The midwife spoke, grabbing a pair of gloves.
āItās just Buck-ā Buck responded, giving a small nod.
āAlright Buck, youāll feel a bit of pressure like before okay?ā She spoke as he nodded, feeling the contraction wane off.
She had carefully checked, eyes widening in surprise.
āIt seems as baby is excited to meet you two. Fully dilated and I can already feel a head against my fingers.ā She explained, hurriedly standing to grab a few extra pads to sit beneath the laboring male.
āYa hear that Buck?ā Eddie muttered, rubbing the others back.
āYeah-ā Buck mumbled, trying to smile despite how much pain he was in.
āOkay Buck, you can push whenever you have your next contraction, or if you want to wait a bit and just let the baby move down naturally, thatās alright too.ā The midwife explained.
Buck nodded, shifting slowly so his back was against Eddieās chest, slowly lowering himself into a squat.
He found himself groaning as the next contraction peaked, chin tucked into his chest.
Buck wasnāt sure how much time had passed until he felt the unmistakable burn between his legs. Gasping and shifting his stance, gripping harder onto Eddie.
āEasy easy-ā Eddie muttered, placing a kiss on his cheek.
āJust breathe the head out Buck-ā the midwife spoke softly as she applied a bit of counter pressure so he wouldnāt tear.
āIt really hurts!ā He found himself whimpering.
āI know baby, youāre almost finished.ā Eddie soothed, giving his hand a soft squeeze.
āAh-!ā Buck gasped, hips jerking slightly as the head came free.
The next few moments were a blur for Buck, suddenly the pain was gone and he had something placed on his chest.
He had wrapped his trembling arms around his squalling son, grateful as Eddie helped him sit down.
āHey.. hey thereāā Buckās voice broke as he finally looked down at his son.
āHey bean-ā He laughed, leaning back into Eddie.
āGood job!ā The midwife praised, having grabbed a towel to place over the baby.
Eddie was staring silently at the squirmy baby that was beginning to settle into Buckās warmth with little whimpers.
āOh.. oh..ā Eddie breathed out, letting the baby grasp his finger.
āHey bean..ā Eddie whispered, scared if he spoke any louder the peaceful moment would shatter.
āIām your papa..ā Eddie spoke, his voice breaking.
āYeah, heās the one that gave ya the big head-ā Buck joked weakly.
Eddie rolled his eyes, leaning down to capture Buckās lips in a tender kiss.
āI love you. Both of you.ā Eddie spoke.
āYeah. Yeah, Bean and I love you too.ā Buck nodded in agreement.
giving increasingly loud sighs as I wait for my crush to ask "what's wrong?" so I can say I'm in a state of depression unless I can touch someone's boobs with no bra
[Your crush, on the phone to someone unseen] Yeah I think she needs to be put down, her breathing-- yeah I know it can be a problem for her breed, but it's getting really bad.
i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.
as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."
NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING
The skill can come back and it often does. It is not unusual for it skill recedes during stressful and painful times. Maybe you just need more stability/safety/kind people around you.
I have been through something similar a few times in my life with writing, yoga, studying...
Admittedly, my life is always financially and socially precarious, so my notion of stability currently just means "enough money to pay the rent and food for the next few months."
It is hard to hold onto anything when you have to fight for survival all the time, either materially or emotionally.
Wow, uh. Okay, I'm gonna need a minute to process "It is hard to hold onto anything when you have to fight for survival all the time...". You're genuinely rewiring my brain is we speak.
Sits with their back to their person, alert and cataloging the surroundings
Stands next to or in front of their standing person, may stand behind their person if person is sitting
Relaxed and trusting around their person. Calmer and maybe happier/energetic
Always near their person when they can help it
Reluctant and/or unwilling to follow orders not by their person
Leans into and soaks up affection (verbal and/or physical)
Immediately warns when they sense something wrong and typically investigates disturbances
Threatens others if they move to harm their person (laying a hand on their weapon, bearing teeth, verbal warning, placing themselves between person and threat)
Attacks when commanded, in danger, or trained to
Does not trust others besides their person when they are vulnerable
Hi, I had an idea for an mpreg story. There is a cute 5'6 mukbanger and champion eater twink whose married to a 6'5 champion weight lifter and bodybuilder. Even though the twink is a competitive eater and mukbang streamer, he's still relatively skinny and is small compared to his massive husband. When they end up getting pregnant, both the husband and twinks competitive nature takes over. The Bodybuilder husband wants to see how big and heavy both his husband and the baby can get, while the twink wants to see how big his stomach with a baby plus all the food he eats. This goes on the whole pregnancy with the twink eat and working out so he can widened his hips to push out his husband's massive baby. And the bodybuilder husband absolutely obsessed with his husband's pregnant and growing belly. Of course the twink live streams the birth and ends up having a difficult time trying to get such a big heavy baby out of him as it had grown to a whooping 16 pounds. But the pair still being competitive with the husband's encouragement the twink spends his almost 36 hour labor at home working out (and having sex) and eating before pushing for 4 hours to get his baby out. The head and shoulders get stuck of course but the twink manages to push out their baby, hole absolutely wrecked and gaping from the hard labor. And just when the twink thinks he's done the contraction Rev up again and he's pushing for his dear life against a surprise twin. The birth of the twin takes a relatively short time as the twink pushes against this massive baby for about an hour before it pops out of him. And then 3 months later there's a pregnancy announcement on his channel with a picture of him and his husband holding toddler sized twins.
A/N: It's an mpreg birth story. Refrain from reading if you are not into it or it's too graphic for you. Characters, places, and stories are all imaginary.
TITLE: Full Capacity (1/5)
Story:
āSwallow. Swallow. Swallow.ā
Junho choked back the final spoonful, cheeks bulging, belly pressing the edge of the table. It was his fourth mukbang stream this week. The stream timer ticked up to the two-hour mark as he dropped the spoon into the empty bowl, chest heaving from the effort.
āā¦Done.ā He exhaled sharply, throat tight, hand braced on his swollen stomach. āEighty-four dumplings.ā
Chat exploded in real time:
āHe did it! OMG THE BUMP OMG OMG OMGGGā
āHe's gonna pop!!!ā
āHeās breathing like heās in labor fr šā
Junho smiled faintly, hair clinging to his temples. His cheeks were flushed, but it wasnāt just the food. His belly sat heavy in his lap, massive and taut, food-stuffed and baby-heavy. The tank top he wore was sheer with sweat, stretched so far that the under-curve of his bump was exposed, resting just above the waistband of his tight shorts. His belly was grotesquely full, visibly moving with kicks from inside.
He shifted slowly in the chair, groaning.
He stood up slowly, a hand under his belly as it dipped forward from the weight. Even in a stretched-out tank top and tight shorts, his silhouette was absurd. His bump jutted far out in front of him, heavy and low. He was still lean everywhere else ā wiry arms, narrow shoulders, and legs that didnāt look like they belonged to someone carrying a 16-pound baby.
āUnghhhā¦ shitā¦ā he muttered, rubbing a hand in circles over the tight dome. āItās heavier than yesterdayā¦ā
The sound of heavy footsteps made him glance up.
Leon appeared, shirtless, muscles glistening. The bodybuilder husband bent low, arms thick as thighs, and cupped Junhoās belly from behind.
āGod, baby. Youāre so full.ā His voice was reverent. āI can feel him pressing up. And you still finished the whole thing?ā
Junhoās head tilted back into his chest. āYou wanted thirty inches. This is how we get itā¦ā
Leon bent to kiss the side of Junhoās face, hands possessive on his belly. āI want bigger.ā
this is prime proof that this ENTIRE WEBSITE is autistic because nowhere else would a no tags post that's just an informative list about slang get this much traction.
Ravings and urges get miscoded over time. Letās say youāre thirsty, and you live in a strawberry field. Strawberries contain some water and a bunch of sugar so, over time, you may start to crave strawberries when you are thirsty because you get a reward and some relief in shorter time from the need starting than the trek to the stream. This can happen for every need: sleep, food, whatever.
Trevor Noah has a great tip, that when he craves ice cream at night he breaks it down into parts: I want something cold, I want something sweet. He drinks a glass of cold water then waits to see if he still has the ice cream craving. Usually he doesnāt.
So listening to your body isnāt āfollow every urgeā but ādecompose the urge to discover the underlying need.ā
If you always feel like getting cozy in bed you may be: cold, dehydrated, and/or malnourished (maybe a need for high calories that are bioaccessibleā¦not processed).
If you do not feel tired at bedtime you may: need to eat dinner earlier because your body is still digesting, need to exercise or go outside more during the day, get the fuck off your screen for an hour so your brain can enter sleep mode.
Hope this helps someone.
P.S. notice i said nothing about neurodivergence. Not that itās not a likelihood but the over-pathologization of behaviors prevents us from taking simple actions to improve our wellbeing. Also, these tips are pretty accessible and applicable to most brain variations.
Pansy: So, howās the school play going, Granger?
Hermione:Howās it going? Letās seeā¦ Neville forgets his lines every time Theo looks at him. Blaise flirts with Ron so much that our stage crew had to dim the lights just to cool the room down.
Pansy: That soundsā¦ spicy.
Hermione: Oh, it gets better. Harry and Draco are currently making out on stage.
Pansy: ā¦I didnāt know there was a kissing scene.
Hermione: There isnāt.
Hermione: I said āCutā five minutes ago.
Pansy: Oh.
Hermione:Oh?! Theyāre still going at it! I think they forgot theyāre supposed to be enemies in this play!
Pansy: Enemies? Please, theyāre one misplaced breath away from an engagement.
Ron (somewhere offstage): Blaise, stop touching me, itās not part of the scene!
Blaise: Iām improvising.
Theo: Neville, your line.
Neville: Your eyes areāwait, what were my eyes again?
Hermione:Your line!
Neville: Right, right. āYour eyes areā¦ likeā¦ plants.ā
Theo: ā¦Romantic.
Hermione:This is fine. Everything is fine.
Pansy: Should I get popcorn?
Hermione: Get McGonagall ,Readmore
When you try to direct a school play but accidentally host Hogwartsā most chaotic love pentagon.
Ron, frustrated, coming towards Blaise and Blaise immediately drawls:
Blaise: "Didn't get your nap today, darling? Or were you rather rudely awakened during it?"
Ron seeing Blaise's amused expression before blinking few times, deciding that he's offended, turning on his heel and leaving.
Blaise just sighed and smiled, going after Ron.
____
Someone flirting with Ron even if most of the school knows that Ron and Blaise are dating and have been for few months now.
Some guy: "are you open-minded?"
Ron: "i- yes?"
Some guy: "You're very attractive."
Ron: "Thanks?"
Some guy: "You're the fire, I'm the water. Together we are, Boom." The guy gestured an explosion.
Ron didn't know how to reply so he just was stammering something until he felt a hand on the back of his neck. He knew it was blaise.
The guy just looked kind of afraid. Blaise was looking at the stranger with an arch on his eyebrow.
Blaise: "Vita mia, who is this?"
Ron: "Uh, I- I'd don't know."
Blaise just sternly looked over to the guy. The guy was sweating bullets, he could tell.
Blaise: "back off, will you?"
The guy turned around and ran. Blaise was pleased with himself and just kissed Ron's temple and walked away.
____
Ron and Blaise were quietly lying in their bed in their dorms, Ron's body nuzzled against Blaise's. They were resting after long day of classes. Blaise had his arms wrapped around Ron and Ron was already asleep.
conversations overheard on the batkid com lines pt 13 (masterpost here)
Tim: guys, Batman is pissing me off tonight. i need revenge ideas, go.
Bruce: i am on this line- i'm literally standing right next to you, Red Robin.
Dick: shut up B, we're brain storming here.
Damian: you could hack the Batmobile's radio to only play that ad jingle that he hates so much.
Bruce: Robin?!
Tim: this is good, this is good,
Dick: just do what Hood used to do and write revenge porn.
Tim: sorry, Hood used to what now?!
Bruce: Oracle, kick Nightwing from this line.
Oracle: not a chance, please elaborate Nightwing.
Dick, giggling: yeah, he used to- O, get Hood in this call, he loves talking about this it's hysterical.
*ping*
Jason: -tell me where the site is or you'll be jerking off with a fucking prosthetic for the rest of your life, asshole, now- *distant scared whimpers* -TELL ME!
Tim, sweetly: hiya Hood~
Jason: the fu- what- *thump* ...when'd i join this line? why am i here?
Dick: i requested it, i want a Red Hood story-time.
Bruce, firmly: no.
Damian and Tim, simultaneously: yes!
Jason: eh?
Dick: they want to know about the revenge porn you did on B back when you were in Gotham Academy.
Bruce: NO.
Jason: OH- *wheezes*
distant unknown male voice, barely heard through Jason's laughter: c-can i- can i go...?
Jason: *cough* AHA- y-yeah man, fuckin- HA- *wheeze* go for it, i'll track you down later, *cackling*
Dick: this was the story that made me start liking Hood as a little brother, by the way.
Jason: so- *wheeze* so B really pissed me off this one time when i was Robin, i can't even remember why,
Dick: he grounded you for calling Mr Freeze a 'cunt' in front of a group of pre-schoolers you were rescuing.
Jason: OH YEAH-! and part of the grounding was that he forced me to take part in the theatre department bullshit going on down at the school for like, community service, where a bunch of kids in my class were writing an original musical to put on for the end of year show. i was pretty good at english lit, so when my teacher heard i had to join she put me on the writers squad or whatever and pretty much told us to have at it.
Jason: except i was really pissed off at B at the time, so i convinced everybody that the musical should be about Gotham's own Batman, and then i decided to add in Superman and make him Batman's gay love interest.
Damian: oh my god
Dick: *wheezing* it- it was so fucking cool-
Tim: holy- IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL?!
Jason: *cackle* *high pitched* yeah- that's not- that's not even- dude it gets so much worse-
Bruce: it was not funny.
Dick, crying: god it so was...
Jason: AND I MADE THAT SHIT- I MADE IT SO EMOTIONAL, TOO-
Dick: YOU REALLY DID- LIKE IT WAS GOOD, THAT WAS THE THING,
Tim: *laughing*
Damian: please tell me you have a copy of the script, Hood
Jason: annotated and signed, i'll drop it round the cave later
Damian: i love you.
Tim: *laughing harder*
Dick: even better, i still have the fuckin' video,
Tim: THERES A VIDEO?!
Bruce: *disgruntled groan*
Jason: holy shit- dude you still have it?! I LOST MY COPY WHEN I DIED!
Dick: oh Jay, i would not have deleted that video if it saved you from the fucking Joker.
Bruce, scandalised: NIGHTWING.
Jason: NO- NO, AS HE FUCKING SHOULD B, I SENT IT TO HIM TO KEEP SAFE, AS HE FUCKING SHOULD-
Damian: is the video of the whole play?
Dick: well kind of? but littlewing, littlewing's a fucking genius so he- *wheeze*
Jason: i didn't want to act in the actual musical, so they put me on stagehand shit and i ended up in charge of the official school's video production, and i just- *laughter* i just fuckin'- i fuckin filmed B's reaction in the audience for like- *wheeze* the whole fucking play-
Dick: THE BEST PART- best part was B 100% got sucked into the story,
Bruce: I DID NOT.
Jason: YOU CRIED DURING THE ENDING KISS.
Dick: *bursts out laughing*
Tim: SORRY-?!
Damian: Nightwing i want that video.
Dick: *still laughing*
Jason: to this day, best thing i ever did as a child. i don't care about my legacy as Robin, i'm just happy i got to produce such a masterpiece. i should write a sequel-,
Tim: PLEASE,
Bruce: ok that's it,
Tim: B, what are you-
*ping*
Dick: what'd- what-
Oracle: Batman, you can't kick Red Hood from the line.
discoholicmusic
areudirty
ellievsbear
snowghoul
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
stormborns
amandla
