Blog of a Dork @ashslingingslasher - Tumblr Blog

bigbigtruck

quotes taken from the source

(the 4th one is Bumpus wanting dinner, friends can back me up on this)

saxifraga-x-urbium

come back to me most perfect of comics

thedeadofflandersfields

Pigeon steals poppies from the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Australian War Memorial, Canberra, Australia in order to build a nest beside a stained glass window.

cant-hug-every-human

@birdblogwhichisforbirds

iwilltrytobereasonable

@snitling EXACTLY

L

Dormant Predators

This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they can’t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20.

ocean-again

reblog for that last bit to save a life

smiling-grouch-deactivated20241

If you’re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. It’s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. It’s so simple but the door does not move.

You can’t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I can’t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs!

deminat-20

That’s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, I’ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didn’t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when I’m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here.

letsgetoutofspace

Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and you’re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?

morgrimmoon

Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, it’s one of the reasons they have axes; it’s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters don’t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake.

catchymemes

Funniest New Yorker Cartoons (Pt.2)

aokamidu-deactivated20161031

lust-incarnate666

This is one of my favorites hand down

glittercontusion

Memories of

Butter

petermorwood

It’s odd and maybe significant how many of these harp on their similarity to what they’re not, to the extent that a missing brand should be “Why Isn’t It Butter?”

I’ll stick to the real thing, thanks.

catsbeaversandducks

“You’ve been warned, Karen.”

Video by mademoiselle_souriire

ampervadasz

did-you-know

A painter in Los Angeles kept missing his exit for the I-5 on the 110 highway, so he did his research, climbed up the overhead sign, and changed it himself without anyone noticing.

This is Richard Ankrom. He couldn’t find his damn exit, cuz it wasn’t properly labelled.

So he took life by the balls, like any self-respecting Californian would do, and used his sign-painting expertise to fix it himself.

He called it ‘guerilla public service.’ Even got himself an outfit to look official. It worked, obvi.

Caltrans investigated, but the sign was actually up to code. They left it there for 8 years before they made an updated sign.

Source Source 2

amarettosweet

asgardreid-deactivated20180407

You can do anything if you’re wearing a hi-vis vest and hard hat.

eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2

chaotic good

petermorwood

A clipboard, a stack of loose paperwork, an expression of annoyed determination and setting-appropriate clothes can let you blag yourself into (and potentially out of) some very interesting places before crossing the line of actually wearing / presenting fake ID.

A solid impression of having a right to be there leads with surprising ease to a solid assumption that you DO have a right to be there. Remain aware of the location of the emergency exits at all times and when necessary WALK, do not run, since running attracts attention.

(A reversible garment which can be used - once out of sight - to change appearance is also useful. Once reversed, turn to face the impending pursuit, scatter the clipboard and paperwork across the floor as if post-collision, get right down below eye-line to gather them up and point in the correct direction while shouting “Who the hell was that?” or similar sentiments. Once the pursuit has moved on, head for an exit and leave.)

Used in movie and fiction plots, also AFAIK in real life…

visual-infinity

that-one-fat-guy-over-there

how dare you do that to baby

towerofglass

meme-theft

ohenieledam

What

alethiomancer

I’m so tired this made perfect sense for like 45 seconds

kahzu

511am

Evolution of Nissan

thetyrannosaur

My cat does this before throwing up

ampervadasz

Békeőr

drunkenstein

goodstuffhappenedtoday

peacekeeper

just-high-school-things

rb if you were “gifted” in elementary school and were held to such a high standard that now this is what grades feel like

feralkin

did you mean

reaching-for-morning

Did you mean

A or A+: expected, not worthy of attention

B: Jesus christ, you lazy idiot, what is wrong with you?

Anything else: you should probably just die

quinintheclouds

^^^

midnight--fox

That last one is so accurate

pochacco

clearance that isn’t under like $15 is an abomination and doesn’t have the right to even call itself clearance

ememely

(wakes up at reasonable hour) (stays in bed for two more hours)

drunkenssoldier

(goes to bed at a reasonable hour)(stays awake for two more hours)

whatamitoyou

ah, the duality

femcassidy

good news everyone. crows no longer need instructions to build tools and have started building them from memory, as well as passing the knowledge onto future generations of crows. oops!

femcassidy

better news everyone. crows have learned to construct these tools from unrelated items! they no longer need to follow the original blueprint they were given and are able to improvise using their surroundings.