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Kiana Khansmith
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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@ask-equikats
How many sweeps are you guys now anyways?
CT: D --> We are approximately three hundred sweeps old each
CT: D --> I am twenty sweeps older
CG: STOP GIVING EVERYONE THE IDEA THAT WE'RE ANCIENT FUCKING RELICS AND STOP TELLING EVERYONE YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME WHEN I'M LITERALLY A SEASON OLDER THAN YOU.
CG: IS THIS FLIRTING? ARE YOU DOING THIS TO GET ON MY BAD SIDE?
CT:
CG: I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS A FAILED EFFORT.
Did you two ever figure out your... arrangement? situation? ... shituation (im hilarious) or is the answer still shrug? are you... yanno? <3<
CG: I'M NOT COMFORTABLE PUTTING A LABEL ON IT IN THIS MESSAGE, ESPECIALLY NOT TO SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BE PLOTTING MY DOWNFALL BEHIND THE MASK OF ANONYMITY.
CT: D -- > It might be prudent to call it "pitch-adjacent" if not, in certain terms, pitch itself
CT: D -- > It suits my needs, at any rate
CG:
CG: YEAH I CAN WORK WITH THAT.
CG: JUST DON'T CALL IT AN AFFAIR.
CT: D -- > Would you prefer to call it a liaison or perhaps an involvement
Good to see you both back at it! what were you up to all this time?
CT: D --> I have been keeping to my reg001ar sched001 and even started a spice garden
CT: D --> Karkat meanwhile has gotten into
CT: D --> Stuff
CT: D -- > And things
CT: D -- > Much of that lurid stuff and many of those salacious things which you must be imagining right now
CT: D -- > Abso100tely none of which may be spoken aloud
CG: ADDING INTO THIS MESSAGE TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT EQUIUS IS A FILTHY FUCKING LIAR, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING FILTHY AND SALACIOUS ABOUT GETTING INTO A REALLY GOOD BOOK SERIES.
CT: D -- > That is precisely what someone ashamed of their smut collection would say
CT: D -- > And after all that time that you, hypocrite that you are, have behooved me to be more open about my interests
CG: I HAVE NEVER SAID SUCH A THING IN MY LIFE. WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO LIE LIKE THIS?
CT: D -- > We are a%epting queries once more
CG: WE'RE GONNA BE IN THE PUBLIC EYE AGAIN (OR AT LEAST I AM) SO TIME TO BRUSH THE DUST OFF.
(Imma be so real I was on mobile last night and did not see that the last post here was almost a year old!! im still gonna make fanart tho cause tbh this is some of the most in-character non-canon text ive ever seen of these two.)
(ooc: All good, I've low-key been planning to come back to this blog so it's nice to have a reason to. Thank you!)
(plz ignore this if ooc questions arent allowed but i wanted to ask if i could make fanart for you based on the interactions here)
((Ooc: All good! And if you make fanart, please tag this account; I would love to see your work!))
Karkat, what would you do if you ever were to see Equius die :)
CG: THANKS TO THE INNUMERABLE TIMELINES WHEREIN I WOULD COMPLETELY LOSE MY SHIT, I THINK I CAN ANSWER FOR A FACT THAT I WOULD, DESPITE HOW MUCH I WANT TO BLUSTER TO THE CONTRARY, COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY LOSE MY SHIT.
CG: ...
CG: BUT DON'T LET HIM KNOW THAT. HE WOULD NEVER LET ME HEAR THE END OF IT.
CT: D -- > This is a publicly a%essible broadcast
CG: FUCK!
CT: D -- > But I will pretend I saw nothing, just this once
OOC: Happy birthday to meeeee!
Have you gotten Karkat to drink milk???
CT: D -- > No
CT: D -- > I don't think he ever drinks anything e%cept coffee and energy drinks
CT: D -- > It's a wonder his kidneys are still functional
Oh, are you two in spades?
CG: GOOD QUESTION.
CT: D -- > He has trouble keeping things squared away and has thus far refused to put a label to our current arrangement
CG: DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT, IT SOUNDS SO... WRONG.
CT: D -- > Our situation
CG: THAT'S WORSE!
CT: D -- > Our affair
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, LET'S GO BACK TO ARRANGEMENT, THAT WAS BETTER.
CT: D -- > But I suppose spades isn't a bad way of 100king at it
Equius, what do you see in short crab troll?
CT: D -- > He is a loathsome creature that should be beneath my heel and thankful for his place in the dirt
CT: D -- > And yet the way he comports himself
CT: D -- > As though the world owes him more
CT: D -- > As though someone like that is worthy of praise
CT: D -- > It's quite ve%ing
Have you two tried each other's weapons before?
CT: D -- > It was a f001ish attempt considering neither of us have the appropriate skills to wield them, but yes, once, just to try it
CG: I SOMEHOW MANAGED TO HIT MYSELF IN THE FACE WITH THE BOW AND HE BENT MY SICKLES OUT OF SHAPE.
CG: IT WASN'T GREAT FOR EITHER OF US.
I heard Vriska petitioned to have a cerulean band added to the gay pride flag
CG: I DON'T KNOW THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS FLAG BUT IF IT'S VRISKA, I'M JUST SURPRISED SHE DIDN'T PETITION TO HAVE AN IMAGE OF HER FACE STITCHED ONTO IT, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
CT: D -- > I imagine that might cause some printing difficulties
Aradia forcibly kissed Equius without his consent, can't believe anon's a rapist apologist 😔
CG: NORMALLY I'D LOVE TO HEAR ALL ABOUT THE LURID DETAILS OF MY FRIEND CIRCLE'S FUCKED UP ROMANTIC DRAMEDIES
CG: AND IN FACT I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO SPILL AS MUCH GOSSIP, HEARSAY, AND AS MODERN PARLANCE PUTS IT, "TEA" AS THEY CAN PHYSICALLY REGURGITATE INTO THE INBOX
CG: BUT FUCK ME IF I HAVEN'T BEEN HEARING THIS SAME SHIT SINCE I WAS SIX SWEEPS OLD! DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANYTHING NEW TO TALK ABOUT?
CG: WHAT ABOUT THAT COUPLE'S CRUISE I HEARD ABOUT A FEW PERIGEES AGO THAT ERIDAN AND VRISKA TRIED TO CRASH? SEPARATELY? BEFORE REALIZING THEY WERE BOTH THERE?
CG: DID YOU HEAR THEY ONLY FOUND OUT AFTER ABOUT A WEEK OF BEING ON THAT BOAT WHEN THEY BOTH GOT CAUGHT FOR BEING SINGLE WITHOUT INTENT TO MINGLE?
CG: NOW THAT'S THE GOOD SHIT.
CG: IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING ON THAT, MY AURICULAR TUNNELS ARE WIDE OPEN.
CT: D -- > What are we
Equius fucking raped Aradia.
D -- > I am beginning to believe this is a bot
CG: OH FUCK I CAN TYPE AGAIN! YES! SWEET, CLACKITY SYMPHONY OF MY SHITTY KEYBOARD, HOW I MISSED YOU!
CG: I'M NOT SWEATING UP A WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN ANYMORE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WATER I HAD TO GUZZLE JUST TO NOT PASS OUT???? I'M PRETTY SURE THE WATER BILL WENT UP BY ABOUT 200% WHILE I WAS STUCK IN THAT BODY!
CG: AND SLEEVES! I CAN WEAR SLEEVES AGAIN!
CT: D -- > Are you quite finished
CG: ONE MORE THING.
CG: THE MAGIC ANON HAS WORN OFF. NEVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN.
CT: D -- > It wasn't that bad
CG: YES IT WAS. MY TONGUE FELT LIKE IT WAS TURNING INTO SAND AND I KEPT HITTING THE TOPS OF ENTRYWAYS.
CT: D -- > You are normally quite short
CT: D -- > At any rate, our inbo% is empty again, so please send more queries for us to answer
CT: D -- > I demand it
CG: I AM SO RELIEVED TO BE MYSELF AGAIN THAT I DON'T EVEN GIVE A FUCK ABOUT CORRECTING HIS MANNERS THIS TIME. LET HIS MOIRAIL DO THAT.
CG: I CAN HOLD GLASSES AGAIN!
CT: D -- > Congrat001ations
please ask Karkat what he thinks of this situation!!! and what are YOUR real feelings about it Equius 👀👀👀
CT: D -- > He is thoroughly enraged, but that isn't new
CT: D -- > In his own words, he is "so blisteringly enraged that he might be giving himself an ulcer, because it's impossible to even hold a palmhusk long enough to turn on speech-to-text"
CT: D -- > I suppose I might do it for him
CT: D -- > But this is much funnier
CT: D -- > Unfortunately, it won't last much longer, but will treasure the memories