Asph

Hi, I'm Bram, AKA Aspharon. 26 years old. Dutch guy who thinks too much about raccoons and Pokémon Platinum. 🇳🇱🏳️‍🌈 He/They Find me in other places: linktr.ee/aspharon

[aspharon]

Hi! I made a text adventure! It's all browser-based so you should be able to play on whatever device you own. Enjoy!

Like Clockwork by Asph

A text adventure about a time loop

[butchfagminotaur]

the sims will never not be one of the funniest games on the planet

[milk5]

Spent the day with regirock. He's a fantastic guy. Great sense of humor and also 200 physical defense

[aflo]

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

[duckbunny]

remember when websites were written on purpose, and not generated by autocomplete in the instant you run the web search? anyway, unrelated, this webpage purporting to relay expert knowledge on which plants are safe for my snake's tank just told me I would know if he was biting them and getting irritated because he would start pawing at his mouth.

[tarragonthedragon]

i mean, that sure would be a sign something was wrong

[duckbunny]

the plant that makes you grow extra legs

[bidoof]

Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them

[mycatisnamedfrank]

It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger

[bidoof]

No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this

[domozillla-deactivated20181216]

This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger.

[bidoof]

The finger blocks it

[dildomuncher3000]

The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond.

[bidoof]

The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand

[fifty-percent-possessed-deactiv]

People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded.

[hungwy]

No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong.

[blipblerp]

Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger.

[gorps]

No the finger would stop it

[joryboi]

I’m loving the idiocy of this post.

Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom…

Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics >:V

[foulserpent]

no the finger would stop it

[indianworiorprincess-blog]

You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet. Dumdasses

[foulserpent]

the finger would stop it

[meatswitch-deactivated20231107]

[heritageposts]

date of origin: 28th of december, 2015.

[petalsbleedingbeak]

These fuckwits are back again? How’s it going, Nine Finger Nasty? About to turn into an Eight Finger Egghead?

@meatswitch @raptorific this is a US based site. US Americans are known for two things- obsession with guns and incredible stupidity. Had this been anyone else, I’d say they’re trying to fuck with us. But with US Americans, about 70% of them are dead serious about mangling their hands trying to stop a bullet.

[meatswitch-deactivated20231107]

I’ve had four years to think about it and now I think the finger would stop it

[gorps]

I just tested it with my buddy. It stops the bullet

[several-large-churros]

….Mythbusters WELDED A METAL SPIKE into the barrel of a gun to obstruct it, something heaps stronger than a human finger (and sealed the barrel better with the filler metal used to fuse the metal spike into place and prevent the explosive gases from escaping) but even that didn’t stop the bullet from doing damage.

[gorps]

It’s because they didn’t use a finger like I did

[menlove-archive]

I've never played a more perfect card in the 10 years I've been playing this game

[tinybed]

[comealongphil]

dawn dimmadome? wife of doug dimmadome, owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome?

[punkrorschach]

actually she took the dimmadome in the dimmadivorce

[ragsy]

[Deeply conditioned never to assume anything about anyone]

[Just thought to myself "oh, she's a lesbian! Good for her!" after seeing someone i know posting her pride flags]

[I already know her because she is the girlfriend of one of my friends who is also a lesbian]

[faffreux]

My sister got a new kitten and it immediately decided to loaf on a watermelon and bless us with this picture.

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

[mockva]

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

[iapislazuli]

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

[iapislazuli]

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

[tahthetrickster]

me: i have a very specific tumblr accent meme im thinking of that surely i should be able to pull up by searching the text in the meme

the most dogshit useless decimated search engine in the entire world:

[gokusclit]

[shinesurge]

gentle psa to new comic artists about a problem i also suffered from: slow quiet pacing is totally fine BUT if that's not what you're deliberately going for, you CAN fit more Story Progression on the page. no, more than that. more than that even. i promise if you don't want it to a single action doesn't need to take a whole page to illustrate each of its steps, a lot of connecting magic happens in the gutters i /promise/ if you draw someone pulling up in a car then skip to them walking in the door with groceries we will Understand that they unloaded the car and unlocked the house you feel me

[shinesurge]

#I am not a comic artist#but I had a similar problem when I was in film school#I call it “the door problem”#in my thesis film I had written that two characters walk out the back of the club into the alley behind the club#and my club location did not have a back alley but did have a side room that we used as the door#but that door opened in#and the location I used for the alley had a back door but that door opened outwards#and I knew it looked weird#I struggled framing the shots#and blocking the actors#and I got really really caught in my own head about how to make this door work#because to me it was really important that you saw every step from club to outside#because even though we had learned in school that you could transition it didn't feel right because it didn't feel like a new scene to me#(this being one of the struggles with a short film. It can all feel like one scene if your script is short!)#AND THEN#when we got into the editing room we just...cut the door transition entirely#initially not on purpose#what happened was that we decided to tighten up the timing by cutting non-linearly to the custom music I had commissioned#which made it much more experimental especially in comparison to my fellow classmates#however it showed me that the story still absolutely worked without needing to show how they got into the alley#the audience can infer the door#so now anytime I can feel myself getting stuck on something when I'm filming I think#“Is this a Door Problem?”#as a storyteller it's always a question of what is the absolute bare minimum you need to convey what you're trying to say#and sometimes that means you just need to already be outside the club

(via @currentlycreating )

Exactly! Film and comics are VERY similar mediums in this way, I love this. We should always be considering Door Problems

[blumineck]

Archery x flower arranging

This was actually really fun!

Anyway, don’t forget I’m still raising money to test a bunch of things in a suit of armour:

The Bluminarmour Project

Blumineck is trying to fun a video series doing fun and serious historical and fantasy testing in fitted plate armour.