Nice is different than good @aspiring-coffee-addict - Tumblr Blog

I was looking for references and stumbled across a series of paintings from 1930s by Soviet painter Alexander Samokhvalov called "The young women of metro construction"

leiaandollie

Here’s the real life Russian women in construction

pipebombgf

gender-affirming surgery is a months-long dark comedy. what the fuck do you mean you're charging me double for everything. what do you mean they itemize the bill by left and right ball. what the fuck.

pipebombgf

they billed me for three?? three balls???

pipebombgf

rubyleaf

Honestly? My main piece of advice for writing well-rounded characters is to make them a little bit lame. No real living person is 100% cool and suave 100% of the time. Everyone's a little awkward sometimes, or gets too excited about something goofy, or has a silly fear, or laughs about stupid things. Being a bit of a loser is an incurable part of the human condition. Utilize that in your writing.

flilyfe

Help me! I don't know how to give my bf a great hand job? Like I literally don't know how to do it please help xx

WARNING!!! EXTREMELY GRAPHIC CONTENT INCOMING.

HANDJOB TUTORIAL BEGINS IN…..

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Start by kissing him deeply. Look him in the eyes bite your lip and then go for his neck. Kiss his neck gently while you rub on his pants/shorts with one of your hands in a circle motion whist gently grabbing his dick. You’re doing this to get him to focus on the aspect of your touch and pleasure itself. Going slow at first is important to transition the brain to accept this different type of stimulation. Kiss/lick/give a hicky in any order you like whilst rubbing his dick until you feel him getting stimulated (hard). Once you feel that he’s getting hard put your hands down his shorts/pants (or unbutton) but not inside of his underwear just yet. Gently grab and move his dick until it’s resting on his lap sideways pointing towards you (it should still be in the underwear). Now you should be stroking his dick from the shaft (middle of his dick) to the head of his dick. Up down up down up down up down with a firmer but still a gentle grip. While you’re doing this you still should be kissing him deep and licking and kissing his neck. Once he has reached a full boner tell him to pull his pants and underwear completely off. He shouldn’t even have his pants or underwear around his ankles. Just take the clothes and just throw them somewhere else. This will increase his desire for you, it lets him know you’re about to work his dick like never before. Once his pants are off make him spread his legs wide. He should still have both of his feet flat on the ground. This is so there’s no distractions. It’s just his dick and your hands without the view of his legs.

(PRE INSTRUCTIONS/NOTES BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY JACK HIM OFF) Grab his dick with your dominate hand and gently caress his balls with your other hand. You’re doing this to apply pressure where it needs to be applied. Your dominate hand is applying pressure where it needs to be (middle/top) while your weaker hand is in the area where you need to be gentle.You should grip his dick with a closed fist, like the rock in paper, rock, scissors. But before you grip his dick you need to spit on your dominate hand. Don’t be cute with this shit, spit a lot on your hand. Make sure none of it spills until it’s on his dick. You’re doing this so there’s ULTRA lube on his dick when you finally grip it. Tell him to close his eyes before you spit in your hand (if he doesn’t want to oh well he’ll just cum faster probably).

(NOW YOU’RE YOU’RE ACTUALLY JACKING HIM NOW.) Once you finally grip his dick make sure it’s a firm grip initially and DON’T MOVE YOUR HAND. Let him feel your grip and let the saliva run down his balls. If you’re doing this right and he’s really aroused you should feel his dick pulsate and jump in your hands. Don’t move for 5 seconds then loosen your grip a tiny bit and stroke slowly upwards towards the head of his dick. Once you reach the head rub your wet fingers around the head of his dick for a couple seconds then stroke back down to the middle of his dick. Then come up again to head of his dick but not the very top. The area you want to rub is the area underneath his dick head. He’ll be really sensitive in this area and if you focus on this area he will cum quickly. Don’t forget to spit on your hands every 30 seconds or less depending on how much saliva your producing. The more lube the better, you should be able to hear the sounds of you jacking him off. It should be wet and messy and he should be hard and ready to explode. You can start going faster or slower. Mix it up but remember come up to the area underneath his dick head. Don’t go all the way down to the base of his dick. Just go from mid to top. Talk to him, tell him does he like how your hands feel. Tell him that he’s a naughty boy for being that damn hard and letting his girl milk him because he’s so damn horny all the time. Tell him you’re going to jack him off until his balls are empty. I’d be surprised if he made it this far but if he has, tell him you want him to cum. You want him to explode all over your hands. Remember keep it ultra lubed. If you want too, stroke his dick while you suck and lick on the head of his dick. This’ll really catch him off guard. I recommend doing this when you know he’s losing his stamina rapidly. When he finally cums grip his dick nice and tight in the middle then squeeze his dick whilst coming up to the head. You’re doing this to squeeze every drop of cum out of his dick. Enthusiasm and determination is key. Your hands will get tired, if they do just switch hands. Don’t loose focus, jack him off as if it meant you’d receive a 500,000 gift card to all of the following locations Victoria secrets, old navy, ross, american eagle, forever 21, H&M, Marshalls, Prada, Target, Gucci, Tj Maxx, and any one location of your choosing. And you know you’d have unlimited stamina, determination, and enthusiasm if this handjob would get you that gift card lol. If you do all of this, he’ll love you. He’d probably even call you magic fingers. Or some other corny names guys make up when they’re extremely excited.

THIS CONCLUDES THE HANDJOB TUTORIAL….

paultoes

whitepeopletwitter

aisforarthur

Arthur Dodges the Draft

ampervadasz

boredpanda

Taiwanese Couple Hilariously Parodies #FollowMeTo Couple

leupagus

I am way more convinced that these two are in love than the followmeto folks

amypoehler

sawing4teens

“Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers’ room, waiting for the Wednesday night read-through to start. […] Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can’t remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and oud and “unladylike”, Jimmy Fallon […] turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, “Stop that! It’s not cute! I don’t like it.” Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. “I don’t fucking care if you like it.” Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit. With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it.”

- Tina Fey, Bossypants

This one never gets old.

imfemalewarrior

Society tries to police how Women behave and present ourselves by mocking us, belittling us, shaming us, or asking us what people will think of us.

“What will your boyfriend/future husband/potential friends/employer/mother/grandmother/father/grandfather think?”

A very powerful way to reject this policing of us is to say we don’t care what people think, especially since that is often the way we are policed.

-FemaleWarrior, She/They

scoutsmoocrew

Inuits in the Arctic can survive perfectly on a plant based diet 😤

virginiaisforhaters

indigenous hunting is like, the ONE kind of hunting that shouldnt offend anyone and yet

listen, i fucking love whales. i do. i have advocated against cetacean captivity and whale hunting since i was like 13. i HATE whale hunting. but have you ever seen the prices for food in a grocery store in indigenous areas, if they even have one?

i can guarantee no vegan has ever paid $22 usd for a bag of grapes, and you cannot farm that far north. they can forage for some foods, but its not enough to sustain themselves and get a nutritionally complete diet. this isnt just cultural or religious practices (although cultural and religious practices are significant and shouldnt be stripped from them), its literal survival. indigenous people hunt in a very sustainable way (a single bowhead whale can feed an entire community for a year), they arent out here killing a bear just to hang it on their wall. they are trying to survive. subsistence hunting by native tribes is 100% morally correct, even if (like me) the thought of animals dying makes you sad. fight against the japanese whaling fleets who kill hundreds of whales under the guise of research and then sell the meat. fight against wealthy americans who kill animals just to stuff them and put them on their wall. fight against seaworld and their disgusting cetacean captivity practices. but dont come at native people who depend on subsistence hunting to survive. fucking colonizers.

lyricwritesprose

Discourse entirely to the side, I’m here for a little girl who hears, “This is going to be dinner for us,” and just tries to take a bite out of the tail. I mean, that’s peak toddler logic, right there. Relatable to any parent ever.

(Also, indigenous practices are not equivalent to trophy hunting and thirty dollar bags of grapes are nothing short of fucking appalling. But mostly cute toddler.)

greyhounddyke

Even if grapes weren't $28, non-Indigenous people (more specifically, in this case, non-Inuit people) have no place telling Inuit people not to eat meat