Inflicting My Horrible Horrible Thoughts On You

Since December 30th 2022

[asquared-ohgodnotthehorrors]

I hate food poisoning I hate food poisoning I hate food poisoning I hate food poisoning

[charl0ttan]

will the owner of the goalpost out in the bailey please move it down the slippery slope towards the middle ground where a strawman is currently begging the question. we have a bandwagon waiting to help you, unless youre too much of an uneducated dipshit to handle any of that, in which case we can circle back to a true scotsman who will be able to appeal to our authority.

[peachyjude]

seeing the “following ✅” icon in ur notifs every so often like and i will wait for the next time u want me… like a dog w a bird at ur door…

[otterjpg]

OP of the most mediocre post youve seen this Tuesday, gleefully screenshotting a tag which says 'investing at 6 notes' and typing out a faux "no you can't DO this to me" in a reblog

[eternalgirlscout]

you can't say "hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby" on a poll with a 60/40 split. that's hydrogen bomb vs regular bomb

[prokopetz]

Pipe bomb versus somewhat smaller pipe bomb.

[thecolorofthegame]

Hydrogen baby va coughing bomb

[rudywiser]

Two bombs, both alike in dignity, in fair tumblr, where we lay our scene

[jakeperalta]

have harry potter fans considered getting a grip on reality

[htmelle]

-grave

Harry Potter fans force relocation of £430m undersea cable to avoid Dobby’s ‘grave’

Power cable linking UK and Ireland now passes near Bronze Age human burial remains instead of fictional grave on Welsh beach

Link because I couldn't believe it. Shout out to this insanity and also that people refuse to stop messing with an ecologically sensitive site.

[greaseonmymouth]

yeah you know what I have lost the remaining shred of respect I had for hp fans at large

[woman-becomer]

*adds something to my cart* I'm about to make an amazing digital purchase

[hottestthingalive]

rip to you guys but i love assembling ikea furniture its so fun its like legos

[hottestthingalive]

people complain about how confusing assembling ikea furniture is and meanwhile i rise above their understanding and exist beyond their pitiful mortal comprehension as i spend a wonderful day assembling two twin beds with nothing but two hex keys, hope, and a whole lot of screws. 10/10 experience would do again

[sideshow-bob]

Back when I sold Lego, I used this as a legitimate sales strategy for skeptical parents: “it’s important for a kid’s development to not only free build but to learn how to follow instructions, so they don’t grow up to be adults who can’t even handle building an ikea bookshelf.”

And it worked.

[anglaised]

[datsderbunnyblog]

3rd place in a 1v1 🥀

[terraswallows]

"Estrogen Guy"

[just-a-bi-hoe]

^every pharmacist ever hired

[pangur-and-grim]

I'm having a bad depression day. if anyone liked the book, can you tell me 👉👈

[pangur-and-grim]

like watching a wound scab! that should have been the Sir Cameron cover quote

[k1ntsug1-r0b0t-g1rl]

parents are so fucking entitled

[k1ntsug1-r0b0t-g1rl]

parents will throw a fucking tantrum about how you have to respect their views while having disrespected you your entire life for no reason other than believing they had the right to control you

[blitherbird]

Parents will get mad at you for trying to kill yourself

[k1ntsug1-r0b0t-g1rl]

parents get mad at you for trying to kill yourself not because they care but because it makes them look bad

[eli-void]

the problem with having a cool/enby/colorful haircut if you live in a place like Poland is that you end up having the same hair as your grandma. and many grandmas out on the streets will have wilder colors and better color matched wardrobe than you.

I just saw somone little in a long coat and short purple hair and a turquoise beret and thought that was my enby ex but then they turned around and it was literally somebody's grandma. the struggle is real

[eli-void]

how dare you hide this in the tags

[starleaguerecruit]

A genie gives me a thousand wishes because I'm just that awesome.

[starleaguerecruit]

My first wish is for perfect teeth that will never decay or break.

[starleaguerecruit]

My second wish is for a new special interest that I will never have to stop doing.

[starleaguerecruit]

My third wish is to be able to fall asleep whenever I want.

"Whenever you... want," the genie says, watching me scour the internet for information on my special interest. "Maybe you didn't think that through."

"Shush," I say, eating sticky candies.

[starleaguerecruit]

My fourth wish is to never get bitten by a bug again. I think about the definition of "bug" for a minute, and change it to "animal." I think about the medical uses of leeches and all the things about animal bites I don't know, and change it to "against my will."

The genie sighs and tells me that that counted as three wishes.

[starleaguerecruit]

My seventh wish is to have no sensory processing problems.

[starleaguerecruit]

My eighth wish is to be able to cast any spell I see or hear in any media, successfully and flawlessly every time, without any of the requirements or drawbacks the spell has. I tell the genie to make it so I just focus and say the spell name, and the effect happens.

The genie looks nervous, until I use Scruberoo from Sims 4 to clean the house, and Grand Delicioso to make dinner for me and my roommate.

I contemplate whether I'd say "scruberoo" or "prestidigitation."

[starleaguerecruit]

My ninth wish is to be able to talk to whoever I want, whenever I want.

I don't realize that I can now talk to the dead and to people out of earshot, because I never try. I just revel in always being able to form words.

[starleaguerecruit]

My tenth wish is not to have breasts anymore.

[starleaguerecruit]

My eleventh wish is to have perfect eyesight.

I put my glasses in a box labeled "donate" where my sunglasses, collection of headphones, white noise machine, and blackout curtains are.

I look at myself in the mirror. I can actually see myself clearly, even without the mirror only two inches away from my nose. I like my eyes. They're a pretty hazel. Now, people will be able to see them.

Ugh, does my hair really look like that?

[starleaguerecruit]

My twelfth wish is to be comfortable with eye contact.

[starleaguerecruit]

My thirteenth wish is for a lifetime supply of free weed.

[personontheinterne]

The Slab experience

[thydungeongal]

Important video imo