TORILLE PERKELE!

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@assassinagent
TORILLE PERKELE!
What the fuuuuck Norway. That's a beatiful underdog story.
Take a standing ovation and a deep bow from a Finn for that performance.
project hail mary is insane bc the first half is like oh my god the world is dying and there's alien bacteria eating the sun and there's some guy alone on a ship and he's having a breakdown and the flashbacks are getting darker and this is a tragedy the likes of which i have never seen. then BAM andy weir says fuck you actually. here's this pokemon guy he's here to save the day with the power of friendship. and it's the best thing you've ever seen in your life
Sorry, Millennials, but recent paleontologist findings and hyolaryngeal apparatus reconstructions no longer support the hypothesis that "rawr" means "I love you" in dinosaur.
I made you a bibliography but I eated it :(
Eragon au where Brom lives and Murtaugh still ends up having to come to the Varden too. Brom is Panicking bc he knows how the Varden will react to Murtaughâs father but this is Selenaâs son too
so when the twins are like âwho the fuck are you and why should we let you inâ, Brom just blurts out âthis is Murtagh Bromsonâ bc Eragon has to get his impulsiveness from someone. Everyone is staring at him. Murtaugh bc why is fatherâs murderer covering for him. Eragon and Sephira just learned the truth like two hours ago. Everyone else is like âyou look nothing alikeâ
then he also claims Eragon as Bromson. Mostly bc I want to do a role reversal where Murtagh is the one to have the parenthood crisis when he and Eragon realize they have the same mom and learn Brom is actually Eragonâs dad
also the idea of Ajihad being like âBrom we both know thatâs Morzanâs sonâ and Brom is bullshitting like âdo we thoughâ
I want to read this so bad
Can the written form be Computer-Rendered Artifical Prose?
All in favor? (Aye!)
All opposed? (đŚđŚđŚ)
Motion passes!
đŹđ§ straight to jail
đŤđŽ hetero vankilaan
đŹđ§ press space bar to continue
đŤđŽ lehdistĂś avaruusbaariin jatkoille
đŹđ§ shake well
đŤđŽ pirtelĂśkaivo
if Arya had been conscious and unpoisoned during the escape from Gilâead
-not sure if she would have succeeded but she would have done her damn best to merk Durza during their escape attempt
-if Durza dies, the Urgals would scatter and Arya would likely take the boys across the desert; if not, she may try to flee with Eragon to Du Weldenvarden to regroup (Arya does not tell Murtagh this until theyâre in the forest and he has a panic attack of epic proportions). The dynamic would very much be âHop in losers, youâre joining the rebellion.â
-Eragonâs and Murtaghâs bromance would be very much toned down bc Murtagh and Arya are Coparents Who Find the Fact They Had a One Night Stand With Each Other Embarrassing But Donât Want to Argue in Front of the Kids. The subsequent journey is strained and gives Eragon more social anxiety (he can excuse Urgals trying to kill him but he draws the line at awkward silence đŹ)
-If the gang crosses the Hadarac, Arya and Murtagh get into their first screaming match when Murtagh wonât cross the river without the horses. It only stops when Eragon almost starts crying (Saphira is very embarrassed for him)
-Saphira and Murtagh bond more closely over being suspicious of Aryaâs (unintentional) influence 𤨠over Eragon. When Eragon starts crying after Arya agrees with Murtagh and calls Eragon a dumbass after the Torkenbrand incident, Saphira is outraged but reassured Arya isnât manipulating Eragon (her human is just a simp)
-if the gang ends up in Du Weldenvarden, Farthen Dur is COOKED unless Arya has a lot of practice sneaking out of the window from her teenage years. Islanzadi will continue to win her mother of the year award and will not willingly let her baby girl (and bby!girlâs dragon ally and their two pet human) leave to help the cause that almost killed her
-when the Twins try to posture and attempt to search Eragonâs mind, Arya makes two grown men cry (she denies Saphiraâs allegations that sheâs bullying teenage boys, this IS what it looks like when she bullies someone)
-briefly thought of the possibility of Murtagh being That Murtagh when she heard his name before thinking â, nawww heâs has the face of a trod-upon cat.â She is very unimpressed when she finds out the truth
âď¸ one
The long journey of Snufkin
Every day I thank a younger me for picking up The Inheritance Cycle. In a library full of poorly written girl bosses, classics already read a thousand times, and lackluster novels with unsatisfactory endings, it was a dream come true to find a fantasy series that made me feel something.
Eragon was a unique protagonist to me, because he wasn't a girl boss or a man with a fragile ego. He was a young kid who was allowed to be gangly and dumb and everyone around him knew he was just young and stupid sometimes, but watching him grow into someone strong and morally good is just something we are missing a lot of in modern novels.
As I grew older I heard all of the criticisms. People would turn their noses up at Fantasy Star Wars, or decide that Eragon was a pathetic protagonist, or drop the entire series when the first book, written by a fifteen year old, wasn't on par to Tolkien. Well now I can confidently say I don't give two shits about those comments now. I have fun on every reread. I like reading the info dumps and I like reading Eragon's dumb thoughts on giant snails and I like the storyline set up and executed throughout the series. There is no other author or series that I'm spending hundreds of dollars on books, statues, and nick knacks for. This hyperfixation grabbed me in middle school and refused to let go even in adulthood.
Sure, there will be comments Paolini makes or writing directions that aren't what I wanted or expected. That happens all the time. But the fandom exists to have fun with all the nuances and "what-ifs" that Paolini doesn't take, so I'm not exactly foaming at the mouth when something goes wrong I suppose. So thanks for sticking around with my AU drabbles or random analysis dumps. We're all in this together, waiting for a few crumbs of info on upcoming campaigns or books. Maybe Paolini will give us two sentences on the upcoming Tales novel đ. Wouldn't that be nice?
kukaan ei tuu näkemään tätä ikinä täältä mut haluun silti huutaa tyhjyyteen: kattokaa, elämäni kaunein tikkupulla
Uh oh, I've got bad news for you, Grace
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I found a mod that swaps Max and Chloe đ
THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE!
No, I don't like this. I mean, it's cool but it just feels so wrong
Broke: Murtagh is the tallest, followed by Eragon, making Arya the shortest of the trio
Woke: Eragon is the tallest, followed by Murtagh, Arya is still the shortest
Bespoke: Arya is the tallest, followed by Eragon, making Murtagh the shortest of the trio
Image: man trying to figure out when his younger sibling got bigger than him
(Inspired by @dragodraws1 absolutely galaxy-brained take to make Arya taller than both of the boys)
personally, i think that originally, Arya was SUBSTANTIALLY taller than both boys and eragon was the shortest, but now eragon has shot up and is actually marginally taller than Arya but theyâre pretty much equal, and murtagh is way way shorter
symbolismmmmm
I've always thought that:
At the start ,Eragon shortest by a large margin, Arya slightly taller than Murtagh.
After AgaetĂ BlĂśdhren, Eragon is either on par with Murtagh or tiny bit taller than him, but still Arya is the tallest.
In a hypothetical modern AU, Eragon is the awkward oddly smart kid in his grade. Saphira forces him to be more social, so he becomes best friends with the other social weirdo that is Murtagh. Everyone immediately regrets trying to force Eragon to be more open.