Uhhh... Hi?

Lain |she/they| I am so sorry you found this blog

[assbrigade]

hey y'all so I never use this anymore so if you wanna, follow my other account! <3

@justabunchof-bullshit

[spacedlexi]

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

[topsiders-tanlines]

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

- rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

[dashaibo]

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

[frowningfox]

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

[newrider]

[wamscoastsmoker]

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

[notsocialphobixanymorelmao-deac]

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

[wamscoastsmoker]

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

[pwhyxco]

ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june

[wamscoastsmoker]

get spooky

[tshifty]

how does this appear every june

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

pride skellies

[teashoesandhair]

I actually love the ungrateful millennial trope, because I went to the V&A today and took a lot of photos of statues’ butts, and it tired me out, so I went to the café and had a cup of tea. In the V&A café, there’s a piano that customers can just use without asking, and a man sat down at it and started to play. I know nothing about music, but it sounded great to me.

At the table next to me was an old couple, probably in their late 60s, and the man kept tutting and sighing as the chap played, and I heard him mutter to his wife, “this is a [insert musty dead white composer here], there should be more MELODY,” and he just kept griping.

Now, to me, an ignorant and uncultured millennial, it just seemed super cool that we were essentially getting a free piano accompaniment to our Earl Grey, and so I stayed a while to listen, because this guy had some balls getting up there to play in front of us all, and I wanted him to feel appreciated. I also live tweeted it, and the old man kept glaring at me for being on the phone. I kid you not.

When he was done, we all (including the grumpy old man) applauded for him, and he looked really surprised. I thought I’d let him know how much I loved it, because I have terrible social anxiety and am trying to get out of my shell a bit, so I approached him and said “I know nothing about music, but I really enjoyed hearing you play,” and he BEAMED.

Turns out that he’s a concert pianist over from Toronto and we essentially got treated to a free preview of his concert tomorrow night. We chatted for a bit and then I left, and the old couple still looked really grouchy.

But hey. Ungrateful millennials!!

[your-naked-magic-oh-dear-lord]

Trust me. Millennials have been so deprived, you can give them a free napkin and they will cry. Old people have been so spoiled that you can literally give them a free symphony and they will bitch about it. Nothing satisfies old people.

[catchymemes]

just a dude & his skateboard

[deleteme-adub-deactivated201811]

any time u like a boy juss know u played yourself always keep that stored in ya mind for later

[weepycat]

things that 15 year old me did sophomore year that my southern-bred god-fearing conservative christian teachers Did Not Like

teacher refused to let me sit backwards in chairs. i made a point to sit backwards in chairs until she told me to stop, and then id manspread as much as possible. (semester one.)

teacher got onto my friend and gave her a panic attack over her newly dyed hair. i told her my friend putting red streaks in her hair was no different than her removing the grey streaks from her hair. got sent outside. (semester one)

teacher told me my bra strap was showing. took my bra off in class and put it in bag. was sent to principal’s office. mother was called, although she only muffled her laughter over the telephone. (semester two)

[to homophobic teacher who disliked my mothers] “what language is gaelic from? gayland?” “that’s where my moms are from, ma’am.”

teacher claimed i was lying about moving to uruguay and tried to force me into sitting in a personal meeting about my future classes and goals. told her to “sign me the fuck up for underwater basket weaving” and got sent outside. (semester two)

was told by teacher that “ladies should not say they have to pee. try ‘can i use the restroom’ instead” replied with “alright. i gotta piss like a racehorse. can i use the restroom?“ (got sent outside. again. semester two)

was told to “smile, you’ll look nicer” by a 6′0″ male coach i did not know. when he blocked my entrance out of the classroom until i smiled for him, i said “shove it straight up your ass,” before elbowing him in the ribcage, ducking under his arm, and running for it. skipped class in that building for a week. (semester two)

hopped a fence to catch my bus and flipped off an ancient male history teacher when he shouted at me to come back. he threatened to find me again. he never found me. 

[link-the-feral-anon]

An inspiration.

[ihavehugemuscles-deactivated202]

there is no difference between coke, pepsi, doctored pepper, sprites, ginger’s ale, root’s beered, mountain do, all of them. theyre all exactly the same.

[ginger-ale-official]

hohoho! comparing these other drinks to ginger ale is like sticking you hand in a blender! because in both situations… heh you’ll know soon enough

[ihavehugemuscles-deactivated202]

hi “ginger-ale-official”.

thanks for your comment on my post.

except, no thanks.

your heart will stop beating at 9:10 PM EST on 2018/04/30

make the best of your remaining time!

Venus :)

[ginger-ale-official]

I got rid of my heart twenty five years ago to make room! (for ginger ale) do not fear though friend! Your reckoning will soon be upon you!

[feshpince-deactivated20201109]

this single post contains enough terrifying energy to power 500 haunted houses for the next twenty years

[caffeinatedunicorn]

I made some iconic vine wallpapers! Please like/reblog if you use them!

[quixoticrobotic]

ok do you guys remember those Capri Sun “RESPECT THE POUCH, RESPECT IT!” ads where children would deface a Capri Sun pouch in some way and then suffer some karmic punishment thematically connected to the way they disrespected pouch then there were Airheads commercials where eating an airhead would turn your head into a balloon and there were Fruit Gusher ads similar to that except your head turned into an enormous piece of fruit what happened where for this brief period of time (in america at least) it was decided the best way to get kids to buy fruit themed junk food was to imply there was some kind of chaotic evil force that would let you sip its sweet nectar and feast on its fruit, but only if you were willing to sacrifice your state of existence and obey the artificially flavored outer gods   

[xeppeli]

lahore pigeons are some of the most visually appealing birds out there. like in terms of visual design. very minimalist, good contrast.

[xeppeli]

[tunnaa-unnaa]

Too bad Lahore pigeons are a domestic breed and don’t appear in the wild at all. Some equally balanced wild colorations include

Pygmy Falcon

Great Hornbill

Wallcreeper

and

Black-throated Loon

[xeppeli]

this is a good addition to this post. thank you for this birds educations

[fuckingconversations]

I would like to submit the following additions to the world of exceptional bird color design:

Cedar Waxwing

Red Crowned Crane

Brahminy Kite

Green Tree Swallow (I mean seriously - those are metallic teal feathers against stark white. Damn.) 

Bali Mynah

And, last but certainly not least, the cutest fucking puffball on this planet earth:

The Korean Crow-Tit

[ohthisismuchworse]

I’d also like to contribute some pretty awesome birds

Hooded Pitta (or as like to call them little olives)

Coua

Mot-Mot

The Blue Crown Pigeon (the biggest pigeon)

[scoutology]

good post

[chopinsbian-deactivated20181029]

@ilovegirlsalways

[lonewolf574]

@candiceirae

[candiceirae]

I’m fond of the Golden Breasted Starling,

the Golden Pheasant,

and the Oriental Dwarf Kingfisher.

[terrible-tentacle-theatre]

I take your well-designed bird palettes and I raise you

The European Bee-eater

[krydderen]

This is important

[mevsthhighway]

sorry i’m flooding y’all with this long post but just look at these good birbs

[discreet45]

[bloodmancerr-deactivated]

i never want context

[curlicuecal]

Oh my god, they sprang this on us in our old church years ago, and my family has never let this joke die.

Okay, here’s the stupid gender essentialist metaphor:

Women are like spaghetti because their thoughts noodle all over the place. Men are like waffles because there thoughts are in boxes. Men aren’t bad listeners, they just can’t keep up with a conversation when women are noodling topics so fast and they have to keep switching boxes. Also, when a woman asks a man what he’s thinking and he says “nothing” women just don’t understand that some of a man’s boxes literally have nothing in them, haha!

….. :|

Anyway, if you think me and my brothers and my mom don’t constantly give each other sad, tragic faces and say “I’m sorry, my waffle box is empty today” and “noodle faster!” and “you are failing at being a waffle” and “I can’t be clearer, I am a plate of spaghetti” pretty much indiscriminately in all directions all the time…. you would be wrong.

[kyraneko]

Occasionally the context of a Dadaist post makes it even better.

[anxious-but-whatever-deactivate]

Whatthehickityheck

[jenncrs-deactivated20200217]

Are you fucking kidding me? He’s still the spokesperson of Covergirl why? 😒

[markv5]

Плохо фотографируешь, отдавай технику!

[dualityofsquid]

“you’re bad at photography, give it to me!”

[bonduelle]

Apartment hacks masterpost

Kitchen

How to clean up kitchen (particularly the sink, burnt pots and small aplliances)

How to take care of kitchen stuff so that it lives longer

10 commandments of a clutter-free kitchen

Organizing kitchen mini masterpost

5 things to do in the kitchen before you go to bed

What is soapy bowl and why it’s awesome

How to organize your fridge (also here, here and here)

Thins you should know about your fridge

Adding more storage space in a tiny kitchen

Cleaning

Lots of cleaning tutorials and tips. And some more

How to clean up pantry

How to make your house look cleaner than it really is

How to wash pillows

Cleaning the bathroom

How to clean the nastiest places (and get rid of bad smells, etc.)

Floor-to-celling guide to spring cleaning

Recaulking your bathtub

Cleaning grout

How to dispose of toxic waste

Cleaning the medicine cabinet

How to make chores more fun

You mustn’t skip these chores, but you can delay these if you’re busy

Easily forgotten things that you should clean/replace

Why you need a catch-up day

Small cleaning tasks to do in under 15 minutes (also here)

Looking for a flat/moving

First apartment checklist

Where too look during an apartment hunt (and some more tips)

Negotiate these things with your landlord

What to do first in a new place

What do clean before moving out

How not to get crazy during moving flats

How to downgrade to a smaller place

Organisation, storage

10 habits for better home organisation

How to store off-season items

10 storage ideas for small spaces (more here)

Storage secret weapons

How to organise your closet

Things to do before twice-yearly closet switchout

How to store and maintain your sweaters

Decluttering

Why it feels great

How to get rid of clutter

How to declutter (not only a flat)

What needs to be thrown away from your flat

How to let go of the things you no longer need

Things you own too many of; you can throw away these too

Decuttering the bathroom

Decluterring masterpost

Decorating

Projects for every room in your home/flat

Add style to your home

DIY decorating ideas

How to use negative space

4 common decorating mistakes and how to avoid them

Questions to ask yourself before buying something new

How to choose furniture that’ll be easier to clean

Season-specific tips

Things to do before the cold season

Household hacks for winter

Preparing for Christmas

Green thumb 101

How to take care of succulents

Never kill a plant again

Living alone / Sharing a flat

How not to be lonely when living alone

12 things you can only do when home alone

What you learn by living alone

Things you learn while sharing a flat

What to pack when leaving for a dorm

How to seamlessly share a kitchen (or a flat in general)

Safety issues to discuss with flatmates

Benefits of living with strangers

And also how to turn a house into a home

[rage-against-the-dying-of-light]

Is this a call out post?

[oopsabird]

no, you dingus, it’s a reference post. also, stop putting your trash on the counter instead of in the bin.

[ravensloane]

CONFETTI FALLING BY BIG TIME RUSH IS. A CLOSETED GAY ANTHEM

[ravensloane]

EXPLAIN THIS ATHEISTS

[ravensloane]

[girlactionfigure]