Saying I'm aroace but also pan feels so weird like I'm in a relationship and planning dates and having sex with my boyfriend who is male (which is my least favourite gender) and bi but usually refers to us as gay but I'm not even a man and also romance is a horrible and way overrepresented genre and I find it so annoying and sex scenes are most often really unnecessary and uncomfortable to watch but being cute with my boyfriend is fun and sex can be fun too but I have no idea what sexual or romantic attraction feels like, the only attraction I understand is "ooh, pretty" which can be flowers or women or moths or the moon but the only people who are actually good looking are the ones I like and who are genuinely nice people and men are generally not really attractive but my boyfriend is the kindest person I've ever met and thinking about him makes me happy cry and he's the most handsome person I could ever think of and someone I feel like I could learn to trust as much as I am capable of trusting but if he weren't into sex I wouldn't be missing anything because the actual sex part is like the least satisfactory part because both making out before sex and cuddling afterwards are just more 'spirtual' (??) like they make me feel connected to him but romance is like really repulsive if it's other people than us so I just go by queer if anyone asks.