A Murder Mystery

[i-suggest-aro]

imagine if people actually took romantic consent seriously. wouldn't it be fucking awesome. i know they never will, but just. take a moment and imagine it with me

[i-suggest-aro]

no more "just give them a chance, maybe you'll end up liking them!", no more "if you're going to reject someone, at least apologize to them!", no more shaming people for breaking up/divorcing, no more demonizing people for rejecting other peoples' romantic advances, no more shoving romance in romance repulsed peoples' face on purpose to provoke us, no more "i know we agreed to just be friends with benefits, but i thought you were going to fall in love with me eventually!", no more "i can fix them" when the only thing "wrong" with them is that they want to fuck without dating.

wouldn't it be nice?

[sorcererclow]

A friend I used to hang out with every week once confessed his feelings for me, which I didn't reciprocate. I wanted to stay friends, didn't see why we couldn't, we had been friends the whole time without any romance, why did that have to change? but he decided to stop hanging out with me.

I was heartbroken and felt tossed aside. I didn't understand why our friendship wasn't worth anything to him if he couldn't have me romantically or sexually. I felt betrayed and dehumanised, like I didn't matter to him as a person but only as a romantic prospect.

When I told other friends about it, to my surprise they all sided with him. "He is heartbroken, it's hard to get rejected" even my THERAPIST said this. It's not like I didn't empathize with him, but wasn't I rejected too? No one else could see that but me, they placed me as some sort of villain that had power over him in that situation, when all I did was set a boundary between friendship and romance. All I did was not consent to the terms he wanted for our relationship, I rejected them, my terms were different and he rejected those.

I've had my heart broken by friends over and over and it hurt the same, if not more, than any romantic heartbreak. Why is friendship undervalued next to romantic feelings?

To be honest, to this day I'm still pissed that no one sided with me on this. There's so much unraveling that needs to get done around how we view different relationships in our lives, and I feel like most people can't even scratch the surface when it comes to this questioning.

[i-suggest-aro]

i desperately need people to stop avoiding what this post is actually about. stop derailing and trying to make it be about something else instead.

THIS POST IS ABOUT ROMANTIC CONSENT.

even if the person in question didn't want to fuck them, even if he just wanted a wholesome, purely romantic, nothing sexual at all relationship, it would STILL be fucked up to BLAME someone for rejecting that.

similarly, if someone really wanted to just fuck, but they were honest and clear about that, and handled rejection gracefully, there would be literally no issue with that.

when will you people understand what i thought i made incredibly fucking clear in the original post. the problem is not, and never was, the presence of potential sexual attraction. the problem is, and always has been, ignoring ROMANTIC CONSENT.

[ollifree]

#people think that relationships are made of two parts#one part being ~Love~ (when it is Real it is perfect and pure and incapable of harm)#and Lust (dangerous and only ever potentially safe when tamed by a high amount of Real Love)#and thus they can only imagine that harm done in or relating to a relationship#is because of a lack of Real (romantic) Love + the presence of Lust#also i say relationship instead of just romantic relationship#because i dont think allo society is actually that good at distinguishing between types of relationships#they don't really see friendships between people who could potentially date as its own form of relationship#as much as a liminal space waiting room between being strangers and being romantic#anyways it's so fucking annoying how insistently people think that romance is only harmful because either#the person doesn't Really Love You or they ONLY want to fuck you (inherently a shallow thing to want as well!)#amatonormativity has such a grip people genuinely struggle to imagine that genuine feelings of romantic love#can be anything other than inherently good and beneficial#op you are NOT overreacting people just don't fucking understand what it's like being aroallo#and they don't give us nearly as much grace as we deserve when we get frustrated with this shit

keeping @genderkoolaid's tags because they are Important

[i-suggest-aro]

you'll never believe. whose main blog that post was from. hi, it's me, tumblr user radioactive-yuri, formerly known as thermodynamic-comedian. this is my side blog. and a good few years ago, i made that very post on my main blog.

i have been fighting in these trenches. for YEARS.

[unexpectedbaggageinitemarea]

Tamsyn Muir Oxford Speaker Event

hello locked tomblr! i was at the tamsyn muir event in oxford - here are my notes i've tried to group them thematically rather than chronologically, and to point out spoilers when i can. there are some parts that i missed/didn't hear correctly - i would appreciate it if others at the event correct me :D

Key takeaways

Alecto is still being written! Muir was reluctant to say a year, so it will probably be more than that

Alecto won’t be written in a Biblical style, and there will be multiple POVs. It will mostly be told from Harrow’s POV (I hope I heard that right)

Muir loves the idea of a TLT videogame

Muir’s not yet done with Floralinda

Q&A: Alecto when?

(putting this first because I know you want to know!)

Alecto is not yet finished

Reason why:

Muir was already slated to write another book before Alecto (Floralinda, I think)

Floralinda took longer than expected

Muir also suffered from health issues

Muir was about to say Alecto would come out in a year, but was reluctant. It will be soon. It will be before she dies.

Once Alecto gets to the editor, it will be fast-tracked. There will be few advance reader copies

And Alecto will not be 2 books, do not fret!

Publishing journey for the Locked Tomb Series

TL;DR – Muir got published because she had good contacts

George R. R. Martin was Tamsyn Muir’s mentor at Clarion

Muir took what she described as the ‘traditional route’ into publishing

She spent around 3 years publishing short stories

Then she got contacted by an agent for a novel

Muir acknowledges that routes into publishing are not like that now

Sometimes, fanfiction writers are approached – Muir doesn’t approve as that ruins the hobby, it adds a financial incentive and makes people do it for a career rather than for fun.

Muir wouldn’t do anything differently

We joked a bit about an agent who remarked on the ‘sisterly relationship’ between characters in Muir’s manuscript

Advice for aspiring authors

Send stuff to an agent regardless of where you are

Work in the industry

There was a bit of discussion on self-publishing – it doesn’t suit Muir personally, but it’s a good route for someone with the energy to be their own editor, advertiser, etc.

Q&A: something about being a successful writer (sorry I forgot)

Basically, getting successful requires having good connections

Videogame Influence on Locked Tomb Series

Muir is a big fan of the emergent narrative that videogames afford

Muir worked for Disney and wrote videogame scripts before GtN. There’s an insane House of Mouse script archived somewhere, which Muir wrote.

Novel writing is very different from videogame writing.

In a videogame, you have to fully flesh out the in-game universe and provide enough choices and points of interest for players

This taught Muir to be in-depth when writing her novel universes…

…which particularly influenced her to write tonnes of AUs for the Locked Tomb series

There are two versions of Nona, for example: one which is what’s really happening, and one which is Nona’s POV

Q&A: did the videogame influence help Muir to write so confusingly in the Locked Tomb series?

Muir strongly cites Umineko as a key influence

This is a perfect example of a slow reveal, like in the Locked Tomb books

Muir doesn’t strictly plan her reveals (e.g., on the second reread, the reader finds this out), but she does love a slow reveal and works hard to make close reading rewarding for the reader

Tamsyn Muir would love for the Locked Tomb series to be adapted into a videogame!!

A funny story was told where Muir got approached by a gacha game company… which didn’t come to anything

POV voice shifts in the Locked Tomb series

A key reason for the books being so different is that Muir didn’t want to write the same thing again – she gets ‘easily bored’

She focussed on the sentence links of each character – Gideon’s sentence links are very different from Harrow’s

Vocabulary also played a key role (again, compare Gideon and Harrow)

The second person narrative in HtN was planned for a while, the tricky thing was convincing publishers to accept it

Muir has an HtN draft somewhere, 50% written, that’s in third person

POV in Alecto the Ninth: It will not be written in a biblical style

There will be different POVs

Q&A: Book inspiration for writing in the second person?

Muir notes that she didn’t write in perfect second person – it was actually first person

She will always turn to On a Winter’s Night a Traveller

And this is another videogame inspiration

She mentioned Homestuck then said don’t mention Homestuck so…

The theme of memory in the Locked Tomb series

Memory as a result of love, and memories which are a source of pain

This is a key theme in HtN – note how memory affected Harrow throughout the book

It’s also going to be a key theme in Alecto

Muir is using memory as horror

The horror of not being able to trust yourself and to know what is real

She’s drawing on her own experiences of being schizophrenic

Magic systems in the Locked Tomb series

Muir wasn’t actually a big fan of necromancy before writing TLT

She found it too passive in Dungeons & Dragons

She wanted an active magic system, something unintuitive that required hard work and study to learn

She also wanted a magic system to be gross!

TLT magic system was described as “telekinesis with meat”

Worldbuilding in the Locked Tomb series

Q&A: what was Muir’s worldbuilding starting point/seed?

Muir struggled to find this out. There’s no magic formula

Creative writing can’t be taught, only practiced

For GtN, she wanted a story about duty, and duty vs freedom

She wanted the story to be about two young women

Gideon was originally a cop/fireman

For Muir, worldbuilding is there to serve the plot. She does not worldbuild for worldbuilding’s sake

Everything in Muir’s books is there to serve the plot

Would the TLT protagonists make a good DnD party?

Absolutely not!

Although Camilla and Palamedes would be fine

There was some joking around about how Muir and her friends tried to play as Gideon and Harrow in DnD and it didn’t work out

Genre merging in the Locked Tomb series

Muir identified her blend of comedy and horror as unique to Kiwi fiction

She used Peter Jackson’s early films before the Lord of the Rings as an example

For Muir, science fiction and fantasy are merged – it only really feels like science if you do hard sci-fi

Muir grew up with Star Wars, so it felt natural to set her fantasy world in space

The genre merging created publishing problems

Publishers want an easy comparison to other books to make it sell, but there was nothing like Gideon the Ninth

We joked a bit about TLT being compared with Dune

Q&A: now that TLT books are out, has Muir noticed any very similar books that GtN etc. are being compared to?

Not really.

Muir sees the most similarities with people who know her and have had similar influences

An example is A. K. Markwood

Another book that seemed very similar is ‘Dawn Hound by Necksy Strownack’ another New Zealand author (I did a quick google and I think this is the Dawnhounds by Sascha Stronach?)

Comedy and Humour in the Locked Tomb series

Muir’s advice for aspiring writers is not to write humour to appeal to everyone, as you’ll please no one. Stay true to yourself.

Muir writes plenty of humour into her manuscripts, which are often cut away during editing

Q&A: memes that didn’t make it: (note: I struggled to catch what was being said under all the laughter and I am also woefully uncultured – many of these are me transcribing as best as I can. Do correct me if I’m wrong!)

Mr Bones’ Wild Ride

Emperish meme

Horse Plinko (this got referred to a lot!)

Harrow calling Ianthe the ‘God of Thot’ in HtN

And many more

Muir mused about whether she will dial back the humour in later work, or whether she will go full throttle as she doesn’t care anymore

Writing process for short stories vs books

Muir sees her short story days as mostly behind her, although she is getting one published soon (as we are aware!)

With short stories, you only have time for one thing, whilst with a novella, you have time for plot and subplot

Short stories are great to practise your technical writing skills

Muir personally would not turn her short stories into novels – she wants to do something new

Q&A: The planning process for the Locked Tomb series

Muir had already planned the whole story before writing GtN

GtN and HtN are the question arcs

NtN and AtN are the answering arcs

Muir really enjoyed writing a New Zealand story

Lesbians as epic heroes in the Locked Tomb series

Muir doesn’t see this as jarring – why can’t epics have lesbians in them?

All epics want you do to is die gloriously

You can do anything after that

Q&A: Epic influences on the Locked Tomb series

The Iliad. It all comes back to Homer, and the Iliad.

There was some insightful discussion on how the Locked Tomb world codifies its past. In a sense, it’s stuck in time. There’s no golden period to hark back to.

The discussion then turned to the idea of the hero, and what a hero should be.

This is heavily explored in Gideon the Ninth, which centres around Harrow failing to prevent Gideon from being the hero

Add lesbian to anything

Muir would love to see a lesbian Hunger Games

Floralinda vs Gideon and Harrow

“Floralinda blows” – Tamsyn Muir

Floralinda is a supervillain story about a ‘bad girl who gets worse’

Muir has written/is planning to write more on Floralinda

Q&A: Advice for writing characters who suck?

Just let them be shit, go hard first and don’t hold back

Take a sin, take a virtue

All of Muir’s characters, in some way, are a ‘fuck up’

Catholic imagery in the Locked Tomb series and Catholicism in general

Q&A: was it difficult to link lesbians with Catholicism in the Locked Tomb series?

It felt good for Muir, a lesbian Catholic

And also very fun!

Q&A: who’s the hottest saint?

In the TLT universe: Valancy!

In the real world: Saint Barbara

This sparked some light-hearted banter

Q&A: Meaningful names in the Locked Tomb series

Muir loves writing meaningful names that hide things in plain sight

Muir does not browse ‘Behind the Name’ lol

She has a ‘laundry list’ of names she likes which she’s accumulated throughout her life

Homer and ancient Greek influences played a key role

Also Biblical names

Changing names are highly important in the books, e.g., Gideon to Kiriona

Muir doesn’t mind if people sus out a character’s plot after immediately reading their names

Umineko inspiration

Lolita and the Locked Tomb series

Q&A: the audience member read Lolita at the same time as NtN. They were wondering if the similarities between the two were deliberate.

Muir loves Lolita and thinks that Nabokov is an expert in writing misery

Muir was open about being a child sexual abuse survivor. The influence of this is pervasive in her work.

There is a strong focus on relationships with authority people

Particularly in NtN, which contains sexual threats. This was hard for Muir to write.

Another example is the relationship between John and Alecto.

They are not a one on one comparison between Humbert and Lolita, but the theme of a man fashioning a girl into the perfect partner is there

Whether there is a sexual element in this will be answered in Alecto the Ninth

Muir explicitly does not want to include overt sexual violence in her work

Misogyny in the Locked Tomb series

Q&A: In the worldbuilding of the Locked Tomb series, how do you balance the misogyny that still exists (which is particularly obvious when John talks to/about Mercymorn) and the outward appearance/initial impression people get of the houses having gender equality (e.g., Abigail as head of the fifth, Jeannemary as a knight)?

This question had Muir wriggling in delight

The answer to this is addressed in Alecto

Why is John fucking up in the creation of his utopia?

Muir encourages readers to question what you, the reader, perceive as misogyny, versus what the characters perceive as misogyny.

Q&A: Cannibalism in the Locked Tomb series

Cannibalism is a metaphor for toxic love

Cannibalism of the soul is much more severe than cannibalism of the flesh

Link to Lolita

It’s eating someone’s life and personhood. A central theme in TLT is exploring love as something taken violently

Can you love someone without taking something from them? This is one of Muir’s favourite ideas

And, it’s not necessarily negative

Example of Camilla and Palamedes (spoiler for NtN!!)

They had to eat each other

Grappling with the question: Is love weightless?

Q&A: How much of their old selves are preserved in the Lyctors?

HtN spoilers!!

John didn’t simply wipe and rewrite them – if not, why are they trying to kill him?

John wanted his friends, so he tried to bring his friends back

Interesting implications for the two people he didn’t know well and only saw as cowrokers

BUT then the Lyctors are changed by their immortality and John

Q&A: What was it like to write immortality?

Muir acknowledges that she doesn’t do a perfect job, and that it’s actually impossible to actually write immortality – it will be too alien for the reader

But this links back to the theme of memory – how much can the Lyctors retain?

The Lyctors are heavily weighed down by time, Mercymorn in particular

Q&A: How long would Muir last in the TLT universe?

0.5 seconds

Muir doesn’t see herself as a necromancer or cavalier

Nor is she particularly aligned with any House

Q&A: Books that Muir is reading right now that she would recommend

(again, my poor listening skills and lack of culture limit me here!)

Spoiled Milk by Avery Curran

‘Payback for Malory Towers’

A.K. Markwood’s new book, the Seventh Banisher

Muir has advance access. AK is her friend.

Q&A: Books and media that influenced Muir as a child

She was a highly prolific reader as a child!

Obviously Animorphs

Weird Kiwi fantasy stories

Margaret Margey

She read a lot of David Eddings as a teenager and got annoyed at the role of women in the books

Gormandust was a key inspiration for TLT (I googled this and ‘Gormandust’ doesn’t exist, hopefully someone more in the know can help to translate my poor transcription!)

Grimmbolts was another influence (again, I probably didn’t hear this correctly)

Q&A: Warhammer inspiration

Muir didn’t get into Warhammer until after HtN. She loves it.

She has been approached to write for the Black Library but she had to decline as she had too much work

Q&A: What’s Muir going to do next?

Muir does not want to keep going back to TLT, she is happy to release it to the fanfiction writers once it’s done!

There are a couple more things in the TLT universe she may add

For example, there’s a big Harrow AU…

Muir wants to go back to videogames

But in her history, the projects she works on tend to fold

Muir is trying to write her own videogames and is slowly learning Python

A very good question about deconstruction was asked, but I missed it because I was too excited

Everyone was really lovely at the event! Cambridge folk, you have a lot to look forward to :))

[kvothes]

a good thread

[elumish]

I agree with all of this. But! I think it is also important to recognize that there are subgenres where it is significantly harder to find certain things, and it's actively unhelpful to readers to pretend that you can just find whatever type of book you want to read if you just know how to look for it, especially if you are sticking to trad publishing.

It is possible to find both sapphic SFF and M/M fantasy. It is significantly harder to find, say, aro urban fantasy. Or trans romantic suspense. Or intersex mystery.

A lot of the advice above only really works for trad published or popular books and for identities/subgenres/content that aren't too niche.

So here's some advice if the advice above isn't working for you (either because you can't find books with what you want or because the books you are finding don't end up being the vibe you want), from someone who reads a few hundred books a year:

Find websites or lists dedicated to the specific thing you are looking for. They will generally have more variety and will post you to examples that don't show up in regular rec lists. (ex: aro book recs, ace book recs, intersex #ownvoices database, sapphic books). Goodreads lists can (sometimes) also be your friend.

Get comfortable reading self-published and small press books. Trad publishing has its blind spots.

Check Reddit for recommendations

Start figuring out what it is specifically that you like and then start making your searches more specific. This can be subgenre (if you want urban fantasy, you're rarely going to find it just searching "fantasy"), tropes, plot devices, vibes, etc.

Look at the "readers also bought" on Goodreads/Amazon, similar books on Storygraph, etc. if you read a book you like. Even if you don't end up reading the one you click on, it can show you similar authors (similar to looking at the blurb on a cover), especially because far fewer books have blurbs now.

Check out the Literature Map for similar authors.

[elbiotipo]

More than "here in the Southern Hemisphere we have inverted seasons :)" thing, which is TECHNICALLY true, I would go a step further and encourage to think about that "much of the world does not exactly has a spring-summer-fall-winter season sequence as they show in cartoons"

[paperdragonsong]

I will scream about this to anyone who listens forever. AUSTRALIA DOES NOT HAVE "ENGLISH SEASONS BUT BACKWARDS" and the insistence that it does creates a massive layer of alienation from the natural world.

I never really realised how much difference it makes until I went to England and realised that here the change of seasons is an obvious, visible, physical change in the world. Like, everything REALLY IS orange and foggy in autumn! In spring there are flowers EVERYWHERE, so much more than any other season, and the trees really do have all blossom and no leaves. Even if it doesn't snow, in winter there's frost all the time and the trees are bare and the sky is visibly greyer all the time. You don't need to be told "this date is the first day of spring", you can SEE IT (although this is getting way messier and less precise due to climate change).

By contrast, most places in Australia the seasons we're taught feel like arbitrary categories - and is it any surprise considering they're colonial constructs? Orange-leaved autumn and blossom-covered spring is a cartoon stereotype with no relevance on a continent where ALL NATIVE TREES ARE EVERGREEN!! Snowy winters are a joke in the desert, and even sunny summers don't ring particularly true considering that much of the country is in the tropics, where summer means monsoons - not that I've ever seen the concept that WE HAVE A MONSOON SEASON taught at an Australian school.

Most Indigenous nations around Australia had six or more seasons, revolving around wet and dry times as much as hot and cold, and marked by the appearances of certain native animals and flowers. Schools need to start teaching the real seasons, and explaining that climate cycles are too complex to generalise globally, or else we will keep raising generations who view the natural world as hostile and unpredictable and climate predictions as generally irrelevent and frequently wrong - and I'm sure I don't need to spell out why that's a problem in the era of climate crisis.

[tiredtransgal]

i want to add that 40% of the world's population lives in the tropics, and the 4 season model just doesn't make much sense for a lot of places in there. usually it's just the wet season/monsoon season and the dry season. it's often hot year round.

the 4 season model as you and i know it is a european invention, though 4 season models aren't unique to europe! most notably china has the same type of season subdivision.

in general the way humans define seasons is largely subjective and varies across cultures. the one you were taught is not at all universal!

[oneheadtoanother]

[snakesneaksnack]

I like the drift, I like the slide.

[katakaluptastrophy]

I went—not overseas, but by public transport—to Corpus to hear Tamsyn Muir speak.

The bad news: Alecto is not finished. It will hopefully come out "soon" and will likely be fast tracked with few ARCs when it's finished.

The news you may take differently depending on your preferences: It is not being split.

The good news: It is not all written in Ye Olde Alecto speak (it sounds like Harrow's POV will be fairly major, but there will apparently be several narrators).

A slightly random selection of things I frantically scribbled down:

The protagonists of TLT would make an "absolutely shit" D&D party ("Palamedes and Camilla would be fine")

We could have had horse plinko and begone thot, but for the anti-meme ministrations of her editor. She would love an edition that puts all of the memes back in.

On Catholic imagery and lesbianism: "you ain't seen nothing yet"

"Harrow is now a believer without a church"

She said that while John and Alecto's relationship is not meant to be a 1:1 analogue to Humbert Humbert and Lolita, there is the idea of a man fashioning (something he thinks is) a girl into a perfect partner (the question of whether that is a sexual partner apparently may be relevant to ATN)

She does not have a favourite House and would just be a regular person in the world of TLT (though she would last about 0.5 seconds)

The tension between the Houses' ostensible gender equality and the misogyny that still persists is apparently also relevant to ATN. "John has set out to make a society on values he holds dear and cherishes and in some ways he has done really well... And in some way he has fucked it up beyond comprehension" (Maybe not an exact quote. My auditory processing is questionable.)

The backstory in NTN was planned right from the beginning

Lyctors "are not truly human any more. They've crystallised themselves" and "They have lost themselves and the only thing they've been able to hold on to is what other people make of them". She said she would have liked to make the Lyctors more alien but had to balance that with them being relatable narratively.

She is dying to read TLT fanfiction once she finishes the series.

[cloudabserk]

comforting head bonk to make up for my feeble human lifespan

[samuel-the-blonde22]

Something that I saw that's still boggling my mind is that: "the Jedi Council could have saved itself if it was just nicer to Anakin."

And... there is just something so gross and insulting to me about that.

Like... "oh, if only they were nicer to him! If only they could have pandered to his every need! Then he couldn't have felt the need to MURDER EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!"

...

What?

Are you telling me that the genocide of an entire people was justified because of the Council not being nice enough?

That they deserved to die because a few members didn't give Anakin anything he wanted?

That it was their own fault that they died?

[samuel-the-blonde22]

[short-wooloo]

It's also disgusting because we are seeing so much of this shit in real life, this reeks of that "men have no choice but to vote for the most abhorrent disgusting idiots imaginable because women aren't being nicer!"

[sunderwight]

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

[great-art-and-a-purple-tongue]

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

[scribeofchaos]

Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.

Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.

[somestorythoughts]

Mulan and Mushu, somehow opperating on the same wavelength: oh haven't you heard?

[beardedmrbean]

how to make your effects extra special

[the-thought-emporium-imperial]

It can be somewhat disheartening when you the artisans and craftsman of yesteryear who created miracles out of limited technology go forgotten. Always nice to see someone somewhere making tributes to them.

[azspot]

“Because the truth is, tech doesn’t have an image problem. It doesn’t have a message problem. It has an intention problem. What’s wrong with the axe murderer who broke into my house is not that he hasn’t successfully persuaded me to buy into his narrative. What’s wrong is that he’s trying to kill me with an axe. Similarly, when you launch a product that’s designed to put millions of people out of work, block access to sources of verifiable truth, replace human creativity with slop, and lower the barriers to every sort of atrocity, the problem isn’t that you haven’t told the public a good story about those things. The problem is that you are trying to do them.”

— The 40 Most Rage-Inducing Problems in Tech

[santhipoma]

[uncahier]

Since you don’t respect my opinion anyway, quit pestering me to fill out a survey after every single consumer experience. I keep wondering who looks at these surveys. Is the CEO sitting in his wood-paneled office, reading each individual response on an old-timey stock ticker? If so, you can keep doing this. If not, I rate this experience zero stars out of infinity.

[makingqueerhistory]

“The question feels so patronizing: as if I’ve never thought about gender and how I choose to present myself, how I dress, how I stand, how I crop my hair short, and what this means. As if I’ve never thought about what it would be like to live as a man instead, the relief that would come from passing, with not having to face the everyday violence and humiliations of living in my body. As if I’ve never thought about how I don’t want that, how every cell in my body recoils at that thought of being a man, and yet how harrowing it is that the only way I can get out of my bed and make it through the day is by wearing masculinity on my body. As if I’ve never held dear my feminist rage, never thought about how I feel so politically aligned with womanhood and yet hate inhabiting it, hate it when my body is read as such. As if the only way to be trans is to transition to a binary gender, as if I can’t exist as I have been, in some space in between or beyond, using she or they pronouns and seething when people call me a woman and laughing when people tell me I should transition.” ― Lamya H., Hijab Butch Blues

[overlord-fire-bubble]

I just added it to my TBR list the other day!

[gretchensinister]

Consider this (based on a conversation I had with some friends a while ago): Pride and Prejudice and Zombies for people who actually like Pride and Prejudice. Look–I tried to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and I got about 20 pages in before I came to the conclusion that the person who wrote it did so out of the belief that the original Pride and Prejudice was stuffy and boring. There were out of character vulgar puns. And the trailer for the movie did not convince me that I had missed anything by cutting short my reading experience. So, what I’m talking about here is this premise: the world of Pride and Prejudice, but if you die, it’s highly likely, almost certain that your corpse will get up and try to eat people. But no one dies in Pride and Prejudice, you might say. In fact, few or no people die in any Jane Austen novel. This is true. But people do get sick with some regularity. Imagine the tension added to Jane getting sick after going to visit Bingley if there was the chance that she would become a zombie after she died. Becoming a zombie in an eligible bachelor’s house probably would have seriously wrecked any chances of any of the living sisters ending up with him. Imagine Mr. Collins, as a minister, having the duty upon someone’s death of severing their head with a ceremonial plate or something that would prevent the corpse from rising. Obviously important, but this only makes him more self-important and obnoxious. And dangerous. For you see, in this version, Mr. Bennett, who stays in his office all the time, whose life is the only thing allowing Mrs. Bennett and her daughters to stay in the house–Mr. Bennett is definitely a zombie. He died at home, and Mrs. Bennett decided that, no way were they dealing with this, and so…just started faking it. Jane and Elizabeth know. The younger sisters don’t. In this universe, I think we have to go with zombies that are not any faster or stronger than the humans they were, and in fact tend to get weaker as time passes because their flesh is rotting. And…hmm, okay, how about they are pretty violent upon rising, and for about a week afterward, trying to bite people and spread the infection (even though most people are carriers anyway, but getting a nasty bite from a corpse will give you other stuff that will have you die while carrying the virus). But then they calm down and basically just start sort of attempting to act like they did in life, that is, taking habitual actions with no consciousness, in a depressing and desiccated way. So Mr. Bennett is a zombie, and Mrs. Bennett’s number one goal is to get her daughters married before anyone finds that out. And this, actually, makes Elizabeth’s refusal of Mr. Collins more frustrating for Mrs. Bennett–obviously Mr. Bennett didn’t tell Elizabeth that she could refuse Mr. Collins, because Mr. Bennett is dead, but Mrs. Bennett can’t say anything or the game would be up. Another question in this version–does Mr. Darcy find out about Mr. Bennett being a zombie somehow? Does Elizabeth find out that he knows and didn’t say anything and this is something that helps repair his earlier actions? Anyway, this is the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies that I was looking for.

[exigencelost]

Okay also: in the original, when Elizabeth walks through the rain all the way to bingley’s to care for Jane while she’s sick, it’s a very dramatic expression of both Elizabeth’s love for her sister and her penchant for flamboyant rebellion, but consider, if there is a chance Jane will wake up a zombie and Elizabeth knows it, how does that change the dynamic? Elizabeth might be going to help take care of Jane, or to *take care* of Jane should things take a more morbid turn…by killing her zombie sister.

This works especially well if zombieism is communicable prior to death; if mr. Bennett is a zombie and only the elder Bennetts know, that means Jane has been pre-exposed and is almost certain to wake up as a zombie should she die in the Bingleys’ care— which the Bingleys do not know. Elizabeth has to forge through the rain to be there in case things get ugly, because she knows that the Bingleys aren’t prepared.

[shenzuul]

And I think you pretty much HAVE to make Mr. Bennett’s zombie status play a role in how and why Darcy separates Bingley from Jane—the heavy implication behind Darcy’s line about the want of propriety shown even by her father hits Elizabeth like a ton of bricks as she realizes he knows—he knows, and he thought Jane lying to Bingley about it was evidence that Jane didn’t love Bingley—but—but Darcy must not have told Bingley that part of it. Bingley couldn’t keep a secret on his life; if he knew, his sister would know, and word would already be out and they’d have been ruined by now—

And of course, not only does the fact that Darcy, who owes their family nothing, has kept and continues to keep this secret for them even after Elizabeth’s refusal deepen the gratitude she begins to feel for him after the letter of explanation, but it also liberates Elizabeth to fall in love with him. Because Elizabeth-who-wants-to-marry-for-love would never be happy marrying someone who didn’t know the family secret in advance. She had resigned herself to spinsterhood because she couldn’t be satisfied with having to hoodwink someone to have their hand, but also couldn’t put her family at risk by trusting someone who wasn’t bound to them by more than an engagement. (Maybe she was even tempted to confide in Wickham at one point, and hasn’t Darcy’s letter proven she was absolutely right not to yield to that passing thought.) But Darcy figured it out himself, and he’s kept her trust, and she could fall in love with him without guilt—if she hadn’t already turned him down.

AND THEN LYDIA HAPPENS. And Darcy realizes immediately that Mr. Bennett can’t do anything to recover her—and if Mr. Bennett doesn’t do anything about Lydia, Mr. Collins might become suspicious, or even just officously involve himself, so find out the while thing. When Darcy blames himself for not revealing Wickham’s character, it’s with a much more immediate sense of urgency. It’s not that the other sisters’ marriage prospects being ruined may impoverish them down the road—it might immediately drag them all into destitution. That’s why he rushes off to go look for Lydia himself.

[toasthaste]

according to An Immense World, apparently giant squid eyes are, like, UNREASONABLY large, even for something their size living at those depths. the next largest eyes on earth, blue whale eyes, are less than half the size, and swordfish, who live at similar depths as giant squid and have the largest eyes of any fish, have eyes that could fit inside a giant squid's pupil.

eyes hit serious diminishing returns wrt resource costs vs vision quality as they get bigger, so the question became: what the FUCK do giant (and colossal) squid need to see so badly that they couldn't see with swordfish-sized eyes that's justifying that massive energy cost? that nothing else in the deep ocean needs to see so fucking badly??

turns out the one strength eyes that big really have over much smaller eyes is: seeing large glowing objects in water deeper than 500 meters from an appreciable distance.

sperm whales are the primary predator of giant squid. sperm whales don't glow. BUT! water that deep is full of bioluminescent creatures-- these creatures light up when bumped into. something a sperm whale's size is continuously bumping into those critters, it's just surrounded by a glowing field all the time when it's swimming at those depths, visible from a distance-- if you have the right eyes-- as a massive glowing shape. so basically the only reason to have eyes the size of soccer balls is if you live in the deep ocean and your life depends on having a heads up when a hungry sperm whale lurking around

and also I gotta say, the imagery... the huge lurking threat betrayed only by the ambiguous glowing shape of its movements through the water, is really evocative, if spooky deep-sea games aren't already using that to make things extremely ominous then they should really start

[liberalsarecool]

Every racist MAGA/GOP/KKK slippery slope prediction is worthless.

[lesbiansforboromir]

You actually cannot skip to being good at a creative endeavour that you haven't put much practice into. You cannot trick your way out of the 'knows that your work is not what you want it to be but don't know how to improve it' stage by planning or reading or talking about it really really hard. At some point you just have to craft through it until your brain finds it's own unique way back to the 'everything I make slaps' stage and be prepared to start the cycle all over again. You just have to make that project you're excited about slightly less good than you want it to be. (Says this standing in a pool of blood and covered in blood and also coughing up a little blood)