Hihi! I am Auksie and I write fanfictions for fun! I love life and I love myself and I love happiness which is why I write fanfictions because I do what I want when I want!
Some information about me is below!
I go by she/they pronouns but I don’t care if you use others, I am aroace but I love romance and shit, I’m really really bad at maintaining online friends whoops, I’ve been writing since I was like 5 and I like to think I’ve improved.
⋮ ♯; ⤷ 𝔹𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 .ᐟ
Pretty simple stuff but hey, you still need to list them!
No writing romance for minor x adult or minor x oc. I do not do that.
I don’t write age regression, my apologies! Don’t know enough about it to portray it right.
On that note, I also do not write age play, pet play, or anything adjacent to those. If you find yourself genuinely asking if your kink falls under that adjacent list, chances are it does.
I don’t write piss or shit stuff, whoops.
I don’t do kidnapping or Stockholm syndrome stuff. I WILL do yandere, just not kidnapping.
Everything else is fair game though! I will update this as I see fit!
── ⟡ ˙ 𝔽𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕞𝕤 ̟ ⊹
Lego Monkie Kid
All characters minus Bai He, all ships minus anything romantic with MK
Pressure
All characters that can consent(? Just don’t ask for abomination or eyefest or something). I DO NOT SUPPORT ZEAL! I WISH THE WORST FOR HIM!
QSMP
Anyone comfortable with shipping is good for romance. I won’t be writing x readers for this one.
TADC
Anything minus Ribbun, Royalteeth, and whatever Jax x Caine is. PLEASE ASK FOR CAINE X READER.
Deltarune/Undertale
Any ships minus boundary breaking ones are good. No smut for minor characters.
A ReGect (or similar Minecraft ARGs)
Anything but Moe x Ze/Regect is good
Cookie Run Kingdom
Fawk I need those cookies
BFDI/TPOT/II
I may not know all the characters but I am here and I am ready
Danganronpa
Not doing anything from Despair Girls unless it’s ToKomaru.
Among Us Show
Don’t question me. That is FIRE
Feel free to ask for more, there’s just a huge chance I won’t know what you’re talking about!
Haha hi guys I swear on all of your lives I’m still working on the x verity thing but ough.. flower man…
Quick Flowery Drabble(?)
Are they called drabbles… I call it whatever I want…. 🤫 also I don’t know what I’m doing here I just had an idea and had to put pen to paper
I think that despite all of Flowery’s confidence and bravado, even he can’t resist his partner’s praise. Can you really blame him if he melts just a little every time? It just sounds so sweet coming from you!
There’s nothing you can say he hasn’t said about himself, but hearing it from you really just makes him happy. Like, yeah, if you think he’s cool then he really is cool! You’re just reaffirming what he thinks of himself and he loves that.
Praise from other people doesn’t really do it for him the way yours does. His theory is that it’s because while you admire him, you don’t idolize him like others do. The fact that you treat him like a person and can still find things to praise him about makes him giddy.
If you can manage to give him multiple compliments in quick succession, that’s when you get a real treat. He’s very hard to catch off guard but if you really lay it on thick even he can’t stop himself from blushing!
Don’t think you can get away with this though. He is returning all those compliments tenfold whether you like it or not. In fact, he’s so determined to make you feel just as loved that he’ll pick apart every bit of you, both inside and out, just to make these compliments really stick.
A LITTLE NSFW UNDER THE CUT SORGY
Flowery won’t initiate things himself but he is really easy to work up when you’re praising him. You don’t even really have to say it in a suggestive way, just saying something really genuine and kind can make him all fidgety.
If you praise Flowery while he’s topping, he just goes “Yeah?” while speeding up a little, continuing to do whatever you praised him about. He’s more than happy to do anything so long as it makes you feel good.
If you praise him while he’s a sub, he gets a little more flustered than he normally would. Flowery doesn’t typically get to be in a position where he’s more vulnerable, so if you tell him how he’s doing so good for you he may just cum. Whoops! Just give him a second and he’s gonna be ready to make it up to you!
hi so i was wondering if you ever considered writing verity smut..asking for a friend.....
Oh buddy. Oh buddy. You do not know the wonderful request waiting in my inbox. The request I will get to after I write another wonderful request sitting in my drafts.
AO3 comments are funny as hell because I’ll get one comment from a user who has been going through all my fics that’s like “this is so good I love your works!!” and then I get a new comment from bootylover69 saying “did he pop a boner 👀👀”
Could you do a verity x reader kinda suggestive if your ok with it? Since the end of the sneak peek was kind of toward suggestive (sorry I use translator my English is not that great)
Honeybee
If you were a flower, Verity would be a little bee.
“You’ve been gone for a while.”
That was the first thing you heard when you stepped one foot in your house. It had caused you to flinch, mainly because you were so sure Verity hadn’t been behind you just a moment ago.
Turning around shows that you must’ve been mistaken though, because Verity is most definitely behind you, looking down at you with a stern expression.
”Uhm. . . Sorry?” You’ve only been gone for a day, the normal amount of time for you to have gone to the nether. “I told you I was going out though.”
You remember that part vividly. You had run out of quartz and needed to grab some more for a build you wanted to do, but when you told Verity you were heading out he was very quick to protest. It led to a small argument where they eventually relented, allowing you to go off and adventure so long as you promised to always have armor on.
He doesn’t respond to your very good excuse, instead looking you up and down. You know, if you squint it really looks like he’s pouting.
”Did you get what you needed?” They ask, averting their gaze.
Yeah, they’re pouting.
You can’t help but let out a fond chuckle once you realize what they’re doing. Do they even know what they look like right now?
“I did,” You say, showing off your backpack full of quartz, “Should be enough to not have to go back for at least a couple months.” That isn’t really set in stone considering how much stuff you use for your builds, but it seems to get him in a better mood if his shoulders relaxing means anything!
”And did you get hurt out there?”
The way he asks it makes you pause. He sounded like he wanted to hear that you got hurt. It makes you frown, which makes him realize how that came across.
”Not- I-I just want to know if I need to heal you!”
Bullshit.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, you pinch the bridge of your nose. “No, Verity, I’m fine. I told you I would be, didn’t I?”
”Yes, but it’s always good to ask, especially since you were so set on going by yourself. . .” They mumble that last bit to themselves but it’s obvious to you that they wanted it to be heard.
“I’m perfectly capable of handling myself, alright? God forbid I wanna have a little me time.”
They always do this. They always have to act like the world is out to get you, like you’re not a grown adult that can take care of yourself. They’ve literally seen you fight so many mobs and they never say a thing, but the moment you suggest heading out for a solo adventure you might as well have said you were going to kill yourself!
You open your mouth to say something about that, actually, but you’re stopped when Verity suddenly leans down and pulls you into a hug.
”I missed you.” They say, changing both the topic and their tone of voice to something much softer. Were you a little bit of a weaker person you might’ve just gone along with it.
”Uh-huh?” You scoff, your arms remaining limp at your sides, “You’re not getting out of this, you know?”
Verity simply giggles at that, leaning even further into you. You could’ve sworn you heard him say something into your shoulder, but unfortunately he has always been good at whispering.
”I did,” He insists, nuzzling his round head against your neck, “I missed you so much. There’s nothing to do when you’re gone.”
Now that is just a lie and you both know it!
”You’ve got limitless knowledge and you still couldn’t think of anything to do?” You poke at his head. You wonder if there’s a brain in there or something. Your first instinct is to say that, yes, obviously he has a brain, but then you start thinking about how different he is from you. Does he need organs? Would he have them even if he didn’t?
A sudden lack of floor beneath your feet cuts off your curious train of thought and you are forced to wrap your arms around Verity’s shoulders to prevent yourself from leaning back. He picked you up! Why did he pick you up? He really needs to start asking before he does this stuff!
They don’t even give you a response to the glare you give them, simply hauling you over to your bed and then oh-so carefully setting you down, treating you like some fragile piece of luggage.
You’re about to ask what they think they’re doing but then there’s a sudden weight on you, that weight being accompanied by Verity’s thighs pressed against yours and his arms wrapped around you in a hug.
You blanch at this sudden show of affection, this being much more forward than what you’re used to. Verity isn’t one to shy away from hugs or simply holding you, but he’s never straddled you like this before. You feel embarrassed to say it but you honestly don’t know how to react to it. Where are you meant to put your hands?
”I don’t see the point in thinking about things to do if I can’t do it with you.” They hum, content with the position they’ve chosen.
”Uh. . . Yeah?” You unhelpfully say.
“Yes.”
Okay! Yeah, that’s, wow! It’s such a simple thing yet you can’t help but get flustered by it. You feel like that’s saying something about you.
”And. . . Uh, what have you been thinking about doing?” A stupid question, you know, but sitting in silence like this is going to be really awkward and you’d rather not do that. It’s just an added bonus that his voice is nice when he’s quieter.
“Do you want a list?” He asks, nudging your head to the side as he finds comfort resting his forehead in the crook of your neck.
“A lot then, huh?” You try your best to sound a little more nonchalant but it really just comes off as eager as you trail a hand up his back.
”Of course,” They reply, leaning their torso further into yours. You wonder if that’s their heart beating rapidly or if it’s your own. “I think about you all the time, you know.”
An amused huff escapes you. “Surely you think about other things. . .”
”What other things would I think about?” Verity sounds like he’s just as amused as you are, though unlike his normal, chipper tone, his voice has dipped to a lower cadence, one that’s much more casual than what you’ve gotten used to.
”I dunno, like, farming?” Again, stupid question. They’ve never farmed before and you know that!
Part of you hopes it gets a chuckle from them solely because of that.
”Do you want me to start farming for you? I can if that’s what you need.” Oh, wow, maybe that’s even better. You’re very easily charmed when a guy offers to do something just for your sake.
”Nah, don’t worry about it.” You mumble, leaning back and back and back until you’re actually lying on your mattress, Verity still cuddled up on top of you.
Or at least he was until he shot up, now sitting on your hips and looking down at you. You’d be lying if you said the sight wasn’t absolutely gorgeous, especially with the way his cheeks were a deeper yellow than the rest of his face. You’re about to open your mouth to comment on it before he beats you to it.
”Oh! You probably need to sleep, don’t you?” He asks, the low voice from before now replaced by his usual high pitched voice.
”Wha- Huh?”
Verity doesn’t give you time to process his question before he hops off of you, instead taking his usual spot atop your crafting table. You almost protest before he reaches down and covers you with the blanket, tucking it underneath your mattress and leaving you stuck underneath.
”Sorry, don’t let me keep you up.” They chirp, crossing their legs which you now realize were bouncing.
”Verity, I’m not—“
”I said don’t let me keep you up!” They say once more, turning their head to the side so you don’t see the wobbly smile on their face or the blush that threatens to paint their face a golden yellow.
HIII omg i love ur blog so much i saw a post of derlord and uhhh can you do a sfw Alphabet headcanon for regect?
PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP?
Regect SFW Alphabet!
Zabooboo3 if you want this taken down just message me man
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
When you first begin dating it’ll be hard to get him to initiate affection. Genuinely expect nothing from this guy for the first few weeks, he’d feel like he’s being too forward or something.
When he gets over his fear of coming on too strong and scaring you off it’s impossible to pry this guy off you. If you’re walking together, he’s got his arm around your shoulders. If you’re sitting on the couch, he’s putting his feet in your lap. This guy is always touching you I hope you’re not claustrophobic.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
See how he acts with Ze? Yeah I’d assume he’d act like that with you too. He’s a major asshole and we love that! Yes hit our house with your car!
On a more serious note, it takes a hot minute for you guys to actually become friends. At most you guys would be begrudging acquaintances for a while, but all good things come with time, just wait it out and you’ll have a new best friend!
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
This guy acts all tough but really he’s sweet as a fucking cake, PLEASE cuddle him he loves it.
Regect’s favorite form of cuddling would probably be one of you lying on top of the other, preferably him on you so he can troll you and not let you get up in the mornings. Were he a little more vulnerable and open he’d let you know he just likes knowing you’ll be there all night and it’s his way of keeping you safe while you sleep.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Regect would be scared of commitment and I think settling down is a part of that. If you bring it up too early or at a bad time I don’t think you’d get a positive answer out of him. He definitely wants to spend his life with you, don’t get him wrong, he just doesn’t want to actually have to discuss it or change anything.
This guy SUCKS at cleaning. He’s great at cooking but honestly it’s better to just keep him out the kitchen because he ends up making a mess anyways.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
You think this guy could break up with someone? Take one look at him and tell me he could break up a serious relationship.
Situationships however are very easy for him! Just shoot them a quick text or teleport over and tell them, then do your best to never think about them ever again, that is the Regect way!
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
As said earlier, this guy is terrified of commitment. He wants things to stay the same as they’ve always been and he thinks having talks about commitment and serious things might change that.
Also I don’t think he’d understand why marriage is such a big deal? To him it’s just kind of another celebration people have, he’d joke about it being a waste of money and say marriage is just a piece of paper. If you want it then he’s all for it but he doesn’t want a big ceremony.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
This guy is surprisingly gentle with you when you’re upset! He wants to know if there’s something he can do to fix your problem and if he can’t he’d rather help you feel a little better by being kinder.
Physically though he is not gentle I’m sorry you’re getting punched in the face, this guy doesn’t know how to tone it down for the life of him.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Cold. He is so fucking cold bro. He siphons warmth from you and he is unapologetic about it, doing it as often as he can for as long as he can.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
I think he’d say it quick but it’s entirely on accident and he did not mean to say it.
Like, imagine you’re both sleeping and he’s on top of you like normal. You’re just talking about some random stuff until you both start drifting off, then you say something that makes him chuckle and that’s when he drops it.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
This guy is an asshole when he’s jealous I’m sorry I don’t make the rules
He’s not an asshole to you, obviously! He knows that you’d never do anything to make him jealous on purpose. He’s just an asshole to whoever is talking to you.
Also he is so fucking obnoxious about the fact that he is your partner. “Wow hey BABE. Who is this guy? A FRIEND? Unlike me, your PARTNER?”
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Assuming he has nothing where his skin is transparent: He likes to be kissed on his hands and his visible shoulder! He’d love to be able to kiss you back but that’s unfortunately not possible with his situation, sad face :(
Assuming his transparent bits are just invisible: Kiss this guy right on the lips bro he loves it. He personally enjoys kissing your forehead or the side of your head and surprising you with it because he thinks it’s cute.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
He may not be the most responsible, or the most admirable, or the most intelligent, but he makes for a great sibling figure! I don’t think he would want kids of his own (sorry if that’s what you want gang) but he thinks they can be fun!
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
He normally doesn’t wake up until noon, even then he stays in bed until at least 2, so it’s safe to say most of your mornings are incredibly lazy. They’re mostly spent sleeping and cuddling, maybe playing a game or two on one of your phones while he complains about not getting enough sleep.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
I see two scenarios with this
He either keeps you up at night by talking to you or just not going to bed when you both probably should, instead doing dumb shit like you were born to do
OR he has nightmares.
When he has nightmares he finds it near impossible to go back to sleep after them. They tend to get pretty upsetting so I wouldn’t blame him. It helps when you rub his back and remind him it was just a bad dream.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Okay so I stated this a while back but he wouldn’t tell you a lot of things. It’s not done out of malicious intent but he just doesn’t know what all he should tell you so he just ends up saying nothing at all.
He’s also scared that you might take it the wrong way. He doesn’t want you to leave him over something he could’ve kept a secret and he doesn’t want to scare you with them either.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
This is John Impatient please do not expect him to display patience as one of his heavenly virtues
It’s hard to get him genuinely infuriated but he does get pissed off at a lot of things. He tries to tone it down for you but it’s really hard to fix yourself overnight.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
He remembers the bare minimum of what he should. He’s got birthdays, he’s got anniversaries, and he’s got your favorite gifts and treats, that’s about it. He doesn’t really expect you to remember much for him either so he’s just going with what he thinks is normal.
When it turns out that, hey, maybe he should remember more about you! He feels terrible about it. He’d play it off and pretend to be nonchalant about it but oh my god he feels horrible.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
You getting together, probably. Just the confirmation that he’s not crazy for feeling the way he does and that you like him back has always made him so insanely happy. He’d be grinning like a mad man if he could.
This is also how he remembers your anniversary, it’s literally the best day of his life.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
So, so protective in the littlest ways. He plugs up holes so you don’t trip and fall in them, he sticks near you when you’re on adventures so no surprise creepers can come up and explode. You’re just overall safer when he’s around.
Don’t protect him though it makes him feel shy (or do if you like that)
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Okay, where he lacks in memory he makes up for in effort!
I think he’d go way overboard if he got an idea that he knew would make you happy. He wants you to have the best time ever with him and if that means he might have to kidnap a couple friends (you never asked for that I’m crine) then so be it!
I think Moe and Ze would step in eventually and make it so it wasn’t over the top every time, thank god for that. Now everything has just the perfect amount of effort put into it and you don’t have to worry about Regect doing something crazy everytime he has a good idea for a date.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
I just know this guy chews with his mouth open. I don’t think he’d do it on purpose but I swear on everything he does it. Tell him to shut his trap bro
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
He’s not very concerned with his looks. He figures that if he managed to bag you then he must look pretty nice.
He does like to match your vibe though! If you dress up nice for whatever reason, he also wants to dress up nice. If you’re feeling lazy, he’s also feeling lazy.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Look at him. Of course he would.
He hates when you leave for too long and he hates when he doesn’t know where you are, it feels like something’s wrong and he cannot stand it.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
He makes bracelets. You know those loom bracelet kit things? He uses those and makes you guys matching bracelets with them.
He also takes it incredibly seriously and if you make fun of him for it he will actually be hurt.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
If you don’t like his friends then you might as well just give up then and there, he’s not gonna make any effort to get close to you at all. Moe and Ze are important to him and he wants to make sure whoever he lets into his small circle understands that.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
He doesn’t snore but he does sleep talk! You’ll make out a sentence or two sometimes and it always makes you giggle. One time you managed to somehow have a conversation with him and it was like an advanced form of improv for you
if you are taking sfawtde requests, can I req comforting avery after the events of dawtde? poor baby is probably so depressed and traumatized after the events of dawtde, you didnt check on him during new years. cause you were hanging out with your friends but you find him after he ghosted everyone after dawtde cause of how trauamtized he was, i think this could work as both platonic or romantic (or maybe a mix of both idk)
Sorry I Wasn’t There
In which you find yourself caring for someone dear to you.
Alternatively
Avery needs someone, you happen to be there.
This is the ultimate QPR. Non-sexual nudity and bathing included. I do not make the rules this is what the people (my head) wanted. Also Avery is black! Theres like a one-off sentence referencing it but I know a lot of people headcanon him as white or sum
You really can’t blame yourself for not noticing his absence sooner. Between New Years and your subsequent hangover, you had bigger problems to deal with. You had to clean you house after the huge party with none of your friends offering to help, you had to make sure you hadn’t done anything embarrassing while you were drunk, and you had to respond to all the texts you had gotten giving you your obligatory happy new years.
So, with all that being said, it’s really no surprise why Avery wasn’t at the forefront of your mind.
You thought it was odd when he cancelled on the party, but you weren’t going to force him to join you. You thought it was odd when he hadn’t even shot you a happy new years text—or any text for that matter—but you assumed he had just forgotten.
You only really started worrying when he wasn’t picking up your calls. Throughout your many years of friendship it’s become a ritual to call each other at least once a week and he has never ignored your calls. You even tried asking his parents if they had heard from him at all only to be told that no, they hadn’t heard from their son since last year.
A part of you worried that you may be overthinking things. Nobody else seemed to be all that concerned, so why should you be? He’s probably just spending some time alone.
...Oh but it’s so hard not to worry!
He’s never just gone dead silent before! He’s had his moments where he gets on Minecraft and forgets about everything else for a few hours, but he’s never done that for a week straight!
Maybe a rational person would have just called for a wellness check and let some professionals handle it, but you weren’t a rational person. Who would know how to check on Avery better than yourself? Honestly, it probably doesn’t even require police or professionals anyway. You’d just be wasting their time.
That’s why you find yourself standing in front of Avery’s apartment, knuckles hitting against the door aggressively. You’ve been at this for a while, long enough to recap everything that’s led up to this moment, and he still hasn’t even given you a verbal answer!
“Avery?” You call his name for what must be the fifteenth time in the last ten minutes. “Open the door, man! I-“ You look around the hallway. Luckily nobody’s come out to yell at you yet, but it feels really awkward standing out here like this. “Someone’s gonna think I’m a weirdo and, uh, hah, probably call security!”
Still no answer.
You look around once more before letting out a tired sigh and start fishing around in your pockets for his key.
You hate to walk in uninvited, but he’s really given you no choice. He gave you this key a while back, joking about you needing it since you were supposedly his emergency contact. He may have been playing around back then but you intend to live up to that title if he really needs you to.
Once you push the door open and make your way inside, you’re a little underwhelmed by the state of his apartment. It looks the exact same as it did last time you were over, though you’re not sure if that’s concerning or not.
You flick the lights on and close the door behind you as you walk inside, searching for any sign of Avery.
God, it’d be really awkward if he wasn’t here at all and you wasted your time looking stupid outside his apartment. You’re pretty sure he is here since his car was in the parking lot, but there’s always a possibility he went on a walk.
”Avery?” You call out his name as you walk through the small home, making your way over to his bedroom door. You hesitate for a moment before knocking on it. “Avery, you in there?”
Once again, no answer.
You place your hand on the door knob, “I’m coming in, okay?” You warn before opening the door.
You honestly expect the room to be empty when you open it, your time spent here being for nothing at all, but you are proven to be wrong when you see the suspiciously human shaped lump under the blanket on his bed.
Letting out a relieved sigh, you approach him and gently shake his shoulder, though you find yourself pulling back immediately after he flinches. Thats… new.
You’ve seen him flinch before. You’ve made him flinch before, actually, but this was way more violent than anything you’ve seen. You’d think you were made of knives with the way he reacted.
”Avery?” You say gently, now settling on gently shaking the mattress beneath him. “Are you… Okay?”
He lets out a small grumble and curls further into himself. It’s not words but at least you know he’s awake. That information won’t help you much though, so he’s given you no other choice than to pull the blanket off of him.
Gently, you attempt to remove the blanket from the bed, but Avery continues to hold onto it. You end up having to pry it from his hands, the stubborn man’s arms flopping down at his sides once you eventually free it from his grasp.
Now, you aren’t one to judge, especially not when you’d be judging someone you hold close to your heart, but Avery looks gross. It honestly feels weird to see him like this, it’s as though you were intruding on something private and vulnerable. It makes something in your fragile heart break.
As if he wants to further guilt you, he begins sniffling weakly now that he’s exposed. It’s horrible how much that tugs at your heartstrings.
You open your mouth to say something but Avery beats you to it, mumbling your name in a raspy voice that sounds so unlike him. That’s all he manages to get out before he begins crying quietly, burying his head in his mattress.
”What- What happened? Are you okay?” It’s a stupid question, one with an obvious answer, but it’s one you ask nonetheless.
You sit down on the edge of his bed, rubbing his back in a feeble attempt to calm him down as he hiccups, shaking his head no.
“Is it… Um, is it something I can help with?” You want to ask if it’s something you can fix, but unfortunately most things aren’t like that. You’d rather not embarrass yourself by giving him an empty promise.
“No, no no no,” He babbles, “Too late- ‘s too late and ‘s my fault—”
He cuts himself off with a choked sob, his crying no longer quiet. What is he talking about? What is his fault? He’s had his moments of guilt and panic just like everyone else, but he’s never been the type to break down sobbing like he is now. Would it be wrong to say that just his reaction was making you panic as well?
“It- Uhm-“ You’d be lying if you said this didn’t make you a little uncomfortable. Comforting someone wasn’t something you had to do often and when it was it wasn’t like you were even that good at it, so you weren’t sure how this was meant to go.
Oh but… He’s shaking so hard… You can at least try to help him out.
”It’s not your fault, Avery…” You mumble, lowering yourself behind him on the bed and wrapping an arm around him. “I mean, I- I don’t really know what it is, but I’m sure it’s not.”
”It was!” He cries and for a moment you’re worried that spooning may not have been the right thing, but he doesn’t move away from you.
Very slowly, you press further into his back. You want to give him the chance to push off of you if he needs to, even if he isn’t showing any signs of doing that just yet. In fact, you’re ninety percent sure he’s leaning back, which is probably a good sign.
Other than this physical comfort though, you’ve got no idea what else to do. If you keep trying to reassure him that whatever might’ve happened wasn’t his fault you’d just end up in a never ending loop. If you ask him what he’s even talking about, well, you know him well enough to know he probably wouldn’t be able to explain it well like this.
So, you stay quiet, letting his sobs turn into small hiccups and his shaking turn into quivering. All you do—or what you hope you’re doing, at least—is stay a constant presence against his back, face pressed into his shoulder to remind him that you are there.
It’s like that for a while, the room dead silent aside from his shaky breathing and the occasional loud noise from outside (an unfortunate side effect of living in the city). You could’ve tricked yourself into believing that you were just cuddling like you have many times before if you really tried to.
Avery speaks up before you get the chance to think about doing that, though, croaking a small, “I’m sorry…”
”Sorry for what?” You ask, your voice soft like he’d break if you spoke just a little louder.
”I-I dunno…!” He whines. You’re scared he might begin sobbing again, but fortunately he takes a moment to breathe before continuing. “It’s stupid and you came here for no reason and I just—“
”Hey, woah,” You interrupt him and rub your hand up and down his arm, “I didn’t come for no reason, I came because I was worried. You don’t have to apologize for that, never.”
“Still…” He mumbles, curling into himself once more. A less serious part of you wonders how he manages to keep doing that.
”Still, nothing.” You complete the sentence for him, “I care about you Avery, I don’t mind coming to check on you and make sure you’re alright.”
That gets him to quiet down a little, now just gripping his arms like he always does when he gets in his own head.
Letting out a huff of air through your nose, you carefully bring your hands to his own and give them something else to grip. You’d much rather him hold your hands a little too hard than grip his arms to the point of tearing skin.
”You are important to me, okay?” You say, refraining from smiling as he squirms slightly at the reminder. “Probably the most important person in my life right now, and if that means I have to come into your apartment and hold you until you feel better that’s okay with me, I would not have it any other way.”
He sniffles quietly and though you aren’t sure if it’s from your spiel or from remnants of his breakdown, you find that it’s not as uncomfortable as it was before. Maybe you should do speeches like that more often if it gets you to calm down as well.
Also, him sniffling gives you an idea.
”And… Since you are important to me, that means I have to tell you that you need a bath.” It wasn’t meant to sound as blunt as it does and that causes you to cringe slightly afterwards, but hey, you still mean it! He’s still a lovable guy but rotting away in your apartment for days on end is going to do a number on your hygiene.
Avery doesn’t seem to take the comment as offensive (you decide to credit that to your amazing reassurance), instead quietly mumbling, “I know… It- I-I haven’t been able to, uhm,” His voice cracks and it causes you to hold him a little closer, “I haven’t been able to get up much…”
It’s times like these where you wish you had the ability to magically take away people’s pain. You would give anything just to see Avery act like his normal self, you would take his pain, double it, and give it to yourself if that was what he needed.
Sadly, the world doesn’t work like that, so instead you give him an offer. “I can help you if you want? I don’t mind.”
”Mm?”
”Like, I can help you get washed up if that’s what you need.”
Most people would probably be embarrassed by this offer, unwilling to show or be given that type of care by someone they’d call a friend, and you used to understand them. Used to. Now that you have Avery, you honestly think it’s a little silly.
”Would you?” He asks, sounding unsure of himself. It’s the kind of intonation that makes you want to grab him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him, make him see himself in a better light.
”I wouldn’t offer if I wouldn’t do it.” You tease, grin getting bigger once that gets a small huff of laughter from him. That’s a win in your books. “Come on, let’s get the water running.”
Getting him out of bed isn’t actually as difficult as you thought it’d be. Sure, you might’ve had to help him out since his legs hurt from disuse, but it really wasn’t terrible.
His bathroom is surprisingly clean for a guy of his age and with his attitude. Most people would expect him to be a bit of a slob since his only hobby is playing video games but they’re always pleasantly surprised the first time they walk into his apartment. It’s stupid to be proud of him for something as menial as this, but you can’t help it.
You keep yourself focused on running the bath water as he undresses. You’re not sure what the whole deal is with it but somehow undressing feels more vulnerable than actually being naked. You let your mind wander with this train of thought, eventually wondering if there’s any kinds of studies on it. Maybe you’re being stupid and it’s just a you thing?
Eventually, you hone back in on the water, letting it run over your hand until it reaches what you deem a nice temperature. “This good?” You ask as Avery crouches down beside you to feel it as well.
“Eh… Could be a little warmer, maybe?” He says, moving to mess with the faucet.
You can’t stop yourself from smiling fondly when he sticks his tongue out slightly, showing so much focus on something others wouldn’t care much about. You should’ve known better than to think you could’ve gotten his perfect temperature first try.
It’s nice that despite being in such a tough time he was still able to have his quirks. You still don’t know what he’s been through but you can’t help but admire how strong he is.
It takes a minute for Avery to get the temperature how he wants it, but once he does he wastes no time getting in. You’re happy he’s letting you do this because god knows he desperately needs it.
Okay that sounded rude. Maybe you should stop sounding like that.
You grab his loofah and make sure to lather a good amount of body wash onto it before you start scrubbing him with it. He’s very pliant throughout this process, letting you move his arms where you need them and not making much noise. You assume he’s enjoying it because of his lack of complaints.
You finish up with his upper body and pass the loofah over to him. He’s a grown man, he can handle washing his own ass. You also ask him to wash his locs while you go get him a towel and he nods.
When you get back Avery has already drained most of the water from the tub, now sitting in it with his knees brought up to his chin. He looks small like this, the contemplative look on his face doing nothing to counter that.
”What’re you thinking about now, huh?” You ask, crouching down and draping the towel over his shoulders.
”Nothing, I just…” He pauses, looking down at the ground. It takes him a second before he speaks again. “I’m sorry you had to come over like this. I’m… You shouldn’t have to take care of me. I-it’s just— I- I don’t know…”
You didn’t really expect him to. He’s not exactly known amongst your group for being the greatest at talking about heavy hitting stuff, and that’s okay! You’ll give him time to think about what he wants to say and you won’t interrupt.
That being said, he’s done speaking now, so that means it’s your turn.
You lean over the edge of the tub and press a kiss to his forehead. It’s nothing you haven’t done before, but it seems to make him a little happier if that tiny smile means anything.
”Avery, there is literally no other place I’d rather be right now. You are my best friend and I would do this a million times if you needed me to, okay? You don’t have to keep apologizing for it.” You say, squeezing his shoulders in what you hope was a reassuring gesture.
After that, you push yourself up to stand and make your way to the door. “Now, I’m gonna go get you some clothes and order us some Chinese food. Sound good?”
That makes him perk up a bit and you resist the urge to chuckle. “Can you get lo mein?”
