total disconnection and uninterest in the lived experiences of early diagnosed and high support needs autistics is default in online autistic spaces to the point where people get incredibly angry when you point out that "sped kids are privileged and their lives are easier" is in itself an incredibly privileged thing to say
late and undiagnosed autistics crave recognition for their struggles, which is completely okay, but often they want that recognition from broken systems. they see having been in sped or therapy from a young age as always beneficial and as something solid to point to that proves that your struggle is real and lifelong, which again is an okay thing to wish you had, but again they are completely out of touch with the actual lived realities of people who have been through those experiences. they end up shutting down and talking over and pushing out the people who have been failed and hurt by those systems from a young age. they falsely perceive being "stereotypically" autistic and the adults around you knowing that you are autistic as a guaranteed that you will be treated more kindly and with greater understanding, when the opposite is typically true
And when you try to tell them these things, you get yelled at for invalidation. they continue to say these disconnected with reality things and shut you down because they believe that simply being autistic makes them an authority on every possible autistic experience, even ones they did not personally go through, and have apparently never spoken to anyone who has. Therefore someone saying "your imagined idea of what these experiences are like is wrong, what you're saying is incredibly out of touch and insensitive to people who have actually been through this" is taken not as a neutral criticism of the accuracy of their perceptions but as a direct personal attack on their very identity as an autistic person. i thought we all as autistic understood that not being taken at your literal word sucks.
