Disabled Rep

Riv - they/he - cane user, autistic, really fucking angry

[autistic-kaz]

Reblogs are appreciated but not necessary

You are absolutely not welcome to go to my inbox and rant about how much you hate xyz

i am a stranger on the internet. i do not care about you or your opinions. this blog is mine and that’s literally it

you can give me your opinions, that’s fine, but if i disagree, they’ll just be deleted

Profile pic by @bearnyas

[jackswigert]

statement of cindy-lou who, regarding how the grink stole christmas. audio recording by jonathan sims, head archivist of the magnus institute, london. statement begins.

[harbingerofwhump]

hey! do you have any autistic! kaz headcanons?

Hello!

Oooooo hello autistic Kaz my beloved. I will Attempt (going behind a cut because this got long) :

he of course wears his gloves because of his touch aversion, but also for other sensory reasons (leather is a Safe Material, and gloves provide a barrier so he’s less likely to have direct contact with Bad Textures/Sensations)

This child climbed all. The. Time. He likes being high up and it’s not just for the extra privacy. Da and Jordie used to joke that when Kaz was older, he could take over all the roofing work, he was known to hide up in the hayloft of the barn and even tried to convince Da to let him sleep there at night instead of in the house, and there was not a single tree in all of Not-Lij that he hadn’t climbed (and hanged upside-down from a branch) at least once before he and Jordie left.  If not for his leg, he would be silently begging Inej to teach him to walk the highwire and do trapeze post-CK. And once he gets his act together and fixes his and Jesper’s relationship and they just hang out together at the mansion, Jesper takes to sitting on the floor a lot because ADHD while Kaz frequently lays on the countertops, desk, tables, etc... The other crows are confused by this and at first keep trying to offer them both a seat (“nobody’s using the settee, you know” and “the chairs won’t break if you use them”) but quickly come to understand that they are both much more content like this, thank you very much, and it becomes a perfectly normal part of their time together

I adopted @randomcat1832 's headcanons that he uses smaller magic tricks as a subtle stim, and that birds are a special interest (this one is essentially canon though, isn’t it? 😂)

He ALWAYS has several jobs of varying complexity up his sleeve and ready to be pulled off at the drop of a hat. He tells nobody about these until he decides to actually do them. This is so that when he has a shutdown or meltdown, he can mostly hide away in his rooms for days if needed to regulate, and make everyone think he’s just been busy figuring out a job

He’s studied facial expressions and body language almost obsessively for as long as he can remember, trying to learn how to Be Like Other People, and used everything he could find to practice it himself (puddles, windows, mirrors, he even tried to use his shadow for body language when nothing else was around). He actually got very good at this and it’s helped him a lot with things like monitoring the gambling halls, predicting when something’s about to Go Down, and running cons, deciding on a mark, etc.  That mirror he bought with his first payment in the Dregs was used for learning magic tricks but he also used it to continue practicing his expressions and body language

He always has a reason. By which I mean even as a child he adamantly refused to do something if he didn’t know (what he considered to be) a valid reason for doing it. It drove people crazy sometimes but Da also loved how inquisitive he could be sometimes because of it, and constantly encouraged his curiosity and need to know how things work and why things are the way they are.

He was extremely punctual as a child. Da told him to be in bed at 8 bells, or be in the carriage to go to Lij at 6? He was there when that bell chimes and not a second before (but he definitely spent at least 10-15 minutes just hanging out nearby, fully ready and doing nothing else, just to make sure he wasn’t late). He’s still very punctual when he’s older but he absolutely shows up to things early for safety, preparedness, and/or control/power-play reasons. But if none of those apply, he sticks to timelines/schedules perfectly. (This annoys/annoyed Per Haskell to no end and Kaz takes some satisfaction in that. Like "boy I know you've been back for an hour why didn't you just report back to me sooner", Kaz, internally grinning because he is a cheeky bastard (affectionate) "You told me to report back at x time :) " )

While he’s great at adapting to changes in his schemes as he’s pulling them off, a lot of it is because he’s thought out so many ways things could go down and has prepared himself for all these outcomes way ahead of time. Unexpected/unanticipated changes throw him off and exhaust him so much more, even if he is able to get it together enough to make it work out (this is basically canon too, right??)

Sometimes he misses how much less noise/activity there was back in Not-Lij. The Barrel is chaotic and loud and there's constant stimuli that's harder to get a break from than on the farm. He also secretly misses the more structured routine of taking care of the animals and helping with the crops when he was younger, even though he’s very attached to the Barrel and the life he has there now

Speaking of being attached… He doesn’t let himself get attached much but when it does happen, those attachments are very, very strong — whether it’s with objects/belongings, animals, or relationships. He still has his first set of lockpicks even though half of them are broken now. He claims to be annoyed by the crows Inej feeds outside his window but he would actually be completely devastated if they stopped showing up, and it’s not just because he knows Inej likes them. He shut down and wouldn’t talk to anyone for days after he lost a little stuffed toy his Da had saved up to buy for him (he also never, ever let that toy spend the night not in his bed, and cried if he woke up to find it had fallen on the floor overnight). And we’ve all seen how much he secretly loves the other Crows, yeah? He's also just generally very particular about his space and belongings, specifically in terms of other people messing with it/them (also canon?)

Unusual perceptions of, and responses to, pain? Maybe? I dunno I just see him more as the kind of person who ends up going deathly silent when he’s in pain, and it takes more than ‘average’ to get an obvious reaction (or on the other end of it, things that wouldn’t be considered painful or induce much of reaction for others are agonizing to him) and I’ve been told this is apparently an autistic trait so. On the list it goes 😂

There’s canon evidence that he was probably at least somewhat religious (or was raised to be) as a kid (ie: the line that’s something like “he thought this must be heaven”), but I headcanon that while he may have believed in the values of whatever religion (assuming related to Ghezen because Kerch?) he’s never fully believed in any god(s) or afterlife because it’s such an intangible concept and he’s never seen what he considers to be sufficient evidence of the existence of either  (have also been told this is a somewhat common autistic experience so it can be on here too)

Reluctant to call this a headcanon because I haven’t thought it through like. At all. But there might be something there with the concept of ‘autistic sense of justice’ and that playing into Kaz coming to terms with all the things he does in the Barrel in order to avenge Jordie…? Maybe? Idk

I know I have more — and some that are more blatant in their autism flavor — but much like when someone asks “so what music do you listen to?”, I have forgotten every thought and bit of knowledge on the topic that I have ever possessed 😂

[ruins-and-rewritez]

Kanej wedding but when Kaz lifts the veil and discovers Wylan and he has to keep his cool so he sheilds Wy's face and leans in whispering "where's my wife" and wylan just quietly answers "bailing jesper out of jail"

[autistic-kaz]

The idea of Inej being in on it is so fucking funny to me

[saltvenian]

Kaz and Nina in crow onesies because I said so

[ruins-and-rewritez]

Everybody always talking about how Colm Fahey showed up and adopted the Crows but I love the idea of Marya Hendricks moming over the boys while the girls are off saving the world especially Kaz because he had absolutely no one for so long so slowly but surely as she gets better she starts treating him more and more like a second son, asking him if he's eating enough and sending him of with seconds for later even when he assures her that he is, straightening his collar before he heads out because Wylan says he's a very important young man and he should always look his best, commenting on how his long slender fingers are perfect for piano playing and offering to teach him how, telling him how perfect he and Inej look together and later how cute their kids would be because mom, just Kaz having someone worry over him like he's the kid he didn't really get to be, mama Marya

[momowho34]

Here’s to hoping that every single person with schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder or DID or NPD or any other ridiculously demonized mental illnesses has a wonderful day

[momowho34]

oh and people with ASPD and borderline and bipolar disorder and anybody who experiences psychosis but doesn’t have schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder. i love all of you and i wish you the absolute best <3

[thanatos-moon]

happy pride month you stupid fucking gays. ily

[mfrov95]

Someone had to do it... So it might just as well be me

Bonus Track:

[saltvenian]

My dear friend @buginateacup suggested that Kaz and Matthias read teen magazines together and yesterday’s interview only further ingrained this idea into my mind

[hauntingyourself]

I want to see these interactions on-screen

[dommingateez]

reblog to tell the person you reblogged this from that they are deserving of love and affection

[themalfoymistress]

Reblog if you want your followers to tell you which fictional character you remind them of.

[nsfwitchy]

I’m having a crappy morning, send me asks please

[autistic-kaz]

Americans really do think they’re in the centre of the universe, don’t they?

[lilisouless]

"The crows sleeping on the same large bed: Nina snoring loudly, Inej laying in an humanly impossible position, Wylan´s head over a puddle of his own drooling, Jesper moving like a fish out of water , Matthias mumbling "horrible...you...all.." and Kaz with his eyes wide open"

Colm: Aww, they sleep like angels

Kuwei: I wouldn't want to meet the demons then

[grishaverse-incorrectquotes]

[Nina walking into her apartment to find Kaz sitting in the dark, on the couch. Kaz doesn’t have a key]

Nina: You know I don’t like it when you do this.

Kaz: Nobody does.

[thephantasmagorist]

Jesper: Kaz is washing the dishes and I just heard him say "Who do you work for? Who is your contact?" while repeatedly pushing a glass under water.

Inej: ... At least he's having fun.

[autistic-kaz]

They would