Autistic Misery

Actually Autistic. Miserable about it.

[autistic-misery]

Being autistic is misery.

[too-many-problems-to-list]

There is something I need to tell all my fellow Actually Autistic people, most especially you younger folks. As an autistic person of 36 years, I have learned something very very important that you all need to know.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE OR HURT YOU IN ANY WAY.

Now for those of you who are 13 or 15, it might be more difficult to say no when your parents are trying to force you to do something. Especially if they are not supportive or understanding of what life as an autistic person is. But it’s better to start standing up for yourself now than to wait.

But for you 17, 19, 21 and beyond folks? Despite how much people might infantilize us, autistic people are still adults. That doesn’t change from our neurotypical peers.

I can’t promise you that you won’t face some sort of consequences for refusing to do non-legally required things. Especially if you’ve got obtuse asshole parents or family who make no effort to understand or accommodate you.

I lucked out. I had a mother who, even when she didn’t understand early on, and would always try to persuade me even into my late 20s, knew that there was no way to actually make me do something I couldn’t do. And I had a sister who understood better and was advocating and helping my mom understand.

I know a lot of you are alone on family ally front. You’ve got parents who have been forcing you to do things you don’t want or need or even can do all your lives because that’s what they’ve done since you were babies and toddlers and grade school kids.

But you are no longer babies or toddlers or kids. You are young adults, or full adults, and your parents are no longer in charge of your decisions. And you absolutely must take that control for yourselves when it comes to your own limits.

If going to a party or celebration or public event is sensory hell? DO NOT GO! It doesn’t matter if parents or relatives think you MUST! You’re the only person who should be deciding that. Yes, it might hurt their feelings, especially if it’s a significant event like a wedding or something. But if it’s going to be excruciating and painful for you? That takes priority!

My fellow autistic people, my young autistic brethren, please understand that you are under no obligation to obey commands like an animal. Least of all those that literally subject you to pain and misery!

It would be unconscionable for a parent to order a child to grab a smoldering hot stove just because. Why do you not think it likewise unacceptable for them to order you to endure painful stimuli and psychological trauma by going to a school dance or church or wedding?

Do the events that you can. Or that you know are really important. Auntie’s 62nd birthday isn’t as important as Siblings wedding. You know? And if Auntie gives you a hard time for that, so be it. You don’t owe anything to anyone for safeguarding yourself.

I couldn’t do a lot of things over the years. But when something really important happened I’d try my best. I couldn’t do my nephews first birthday party. Too many strangers from his fathers side of the family. But I was there for other big moments. And more importantly I was there day in and day out in his life, while those other relatives at his first birthday party have made no attempt to know him.

Stand up for yourself, please. Stop giving in to what others tell you is required. It’s ok!

[shamebats]

Well this sure hit me like a ton of bricks

[mariacallous]

[sparkylurkdragon]

[did-you-know]

Breaking eye contact makes you a better conversationalist.

Studies show people who are forced to maintain eye contact take longer to recall words than those who are allowed to take a break from the mental stimulation of staring into someone else’s eyes.

Though maintaining eye contact is important for building emotional connections, looking away is key for having focused and productive conversations.

[autistic-misery]

[spooniestrong]

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[Requesting text ID]

RFK Jr.'s autism study to amass medical records of many Americans

The autism study is planning to link confidential data "with broad coverage in the U.S. population" in one place for the first time.

THIS IS EUGENICS‼️

[theconcealedweapon]

[autistic-misery]

Doctors "struggle" to diagnose you if you're not a 4 year old boy because they're idiots. They ask adults the same questions as made for 4 year olds of adults and when the answers don't match they conclude "not autistic" 🙄

They just don't grasp how many people slip thru undiagnosed. And the fact more and more people are getting diagnosed every year now isn't an "epidemic". It's a revelation of how many people have been slipping thru without help!

[thingsthatexist]

A Constant Hum (found in a derelict factory)

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous sign

[moon-andstardust]

@vague-magnus-archives

[animentality]

[polyversity]

What do you mean, everyone is doing it? That the people making the hiring choices didn't write the job ad and don't agree with it either? That you're expected to fit (at most) maybe 2/3 of the advertised criteria and some more that they didn't state? Thanks I hate it.

[enki2]

[marzipanandminutiae]

not even necessarily just neurodivergent kids

kids who read a lot, especially archaic books, sometimes pick that up as their natural way of speaking and writing. I got points taken off an English assignment once for writing that someone was "given to" something (ie "given to lying;" it was a really bad teacher's class)- I don't even want to know what anti-AI checkers would have made of my papers

any kid who doesn't "write like a kid" for any reason is going to get targeted by this. just one more way generative AI is a plague on humanity (because it necessitates flawed programs like this)

[thememedaddy]

[dogboy-awsten-knight]

[id: a somewhat messy 2 panel comic in black and white. in panel 1, four figures are having a discussion, 3 humans and what appears to be a silly little cat. the person on the far right has a speech bubble with a triangle in it and the silly little cat has a thought bubble reading "i have something to say about this! i'll wait for them to finish". in panel 2, the two people on the left both have speech bubbles with squares in them, while the silly little cat looks horrified and has a thought bubble reading "the topic!! the topic is changing! nooo!" in all caps. /end id]

artist cred here (link)

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

I’ve started to say “I need time to process this.”

[the-shade-system]

Not only do we take longer to process things, we can take a lot longer to *act* on things that we have processed, too.

We buy games we know we'll enjoy, try them out, then put them down for a month, 2 months, 3, 4, a year, etc, until we finally pick it back up and *actually* get into it.

We say we're starting a project we won't actually start or finish for months.

Our brains take a lot of time to *do* things, as well as understand them.

This often leads to situations where people will poke us about a project we said we were starting 2 weeks ago that we haven't actually started, and won't start for another 2 weeks, and just

Being ashamed

Because we couldn't start when we said we would.

Executive dysfunction and processing delays, both terrible. Bleh.

[autistic-misery]

Oh.

[autistic-misery]

😭 Truth.

[autistic-misery]

[thegeminisage]

bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺

[consistantly-changing]

[Image descriptions in order: a twitter thread by @AdhdAngsty “adhd-angsty” which says “Did you know fatigue is one of the most common symptoms of #ADHD? I didn’t- I spent over ten years telling people I felt exhausted all of the time, and nobody connected the dots.

There’s a few ADHD experiences tied to fatigue that many of us struggle with:

“Understimulation: Ever try to start on a task you’ve been putting off, only to feel fatigued? You might be understimulated, and your boredom is manifesting as brain fog. Often you’ll find it’ll fade after some positive stimulation, but return as soon as you try the task again.

“Overstimulation: You’re out with friends at a bar, and the music is blaring and all of a sudden keeping up with the conversation is exhausting. You’re overstimulated. While understimulation feels like brain fog, overstimulation can feel like overload, heat or static in your head.”]

[“Insomnia: This is less of a acute fatigue response, and more of a state of being, but ADHDers SUCK at sleep. This, when combined with the emotional turbulence and reactivity of the ADHDer, can lead to a pretty exhausted “norm” which doesn’t have much flex in it.

“Hyperfocus hangover: You’ve gotten into a state of obsession for something, and you’ve spent the last 24 hours ignoring all of your basic needs as you dig deep into it. When this feeling fades, you’re left with a sense of emptiness that’s devoid of the energy you’d been enjoying.

“There are probably lots of other ways ADHDers experience fatigue, but the above are SUPER common. I didn’t recognise what they were before I was diagnosed, it all just felt like tiredness for me. I couldn’t understand why I felt like I was wading through syrup all the time.

“Fatigue is my most PROMINENT symptom, more than forgetfulness, or distractableness, or impulsiveness. Inattentive ADHDers are more likely to experience it, and ADHDers with menstrual cycles often get it worse during certain parts of their cycle. But it’s a COMMON symptom.

“So yeah, if you, like me, have opted into lying underneath your desk from exhaustion instead of finishing a boring task, you might have ADHD. Double points if you sometimes feel like your brain is “overheating” or has “too many tabs open”. Get some rest, and look into ADHD.“]