I'm just a tumblin' man

Hey this is me. Have a nice day!

[apomaro-mellow]

I'll be honest, I'm weak to fine ass men but idk if i can get with a man who's government name is Craig

[wilwheaton]

He is such a cringey, pathetic, weird little idiot. The people who don't see through him are some of the stupidest dipshits in the history of the world.

[becausebirds]

Toucan discovers a traffic cam. video

[biggaylion]

Today is the day this toucan discovered a traffic cam

you can only reblog it today

[aquilacalvitium]

Missed this last year by 50 effing minutes.

[aquilacalvitium]

Hell yeah I’m scheduling this again.

[docorwho]

M E R R Y  C H R I S T M A S 

[azriona]

It’s not Christmas unless this giftset has appeared on your dash at least five times.

[syrenpan]

It’s back 💕

[lizawithazed]

it’s not christmas without wilf on your dash 

[talaline]

Annual Wilf reblog.

[dechart]

Wilfposting

[bengustown]

seeing transphobes on tumblr is insane. Brother you are blogging on the trans gay sex website

[bengustown]

trfs in the replies calling me a 'gender enthusiast' yes brother. i love gender

[heritageposts]

made a beginners guide for the twitter newbies hope this helps <3

[ginger-ale-official]

ginger ale is just sprite but more spicey :/

oh sure and the sistine chapel is just a room with some paint in it

[hungwy]

people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

[how-not-to-human]

The older this post gets the funnier it becomes

[libraford]

Teacher to me (photographer): this is Mohammed.

Me: and last name?

Teacher: -shrug- his name is Mohammed, hes the only Mohammed at this school.

Mohammed: -is in preschool, doesnt know his last name-

Me: -looks up Mohammed in system- Nadir?

Teacher: sure, yeah. Sounds right.

[libraford]

Me: this will come back to bite me later.

[libraford]

After merging my camera data with another photographer: there's two Mohammed Nadirs. -goes to talk it out with secretary-

Me: -shows two photos- which of these kids is Mohammed?

Secretary: -points to the one I did not shoot- that's Mohammed.

Me: I was told this one was Mohammed. -points to my student-

Secretary: well, theres only one Mohammed.

[libraford]

Secretary takes me to the break room to chat with two teachers.

Me: can one of you tell me which one is Mohammed?

Teacher A points to my student.

Teacher B points to not my student.

Both: that's Mohammed.

[libraford]

Teacher B says that her Mohammed is in her class and is definitely Mohammed Nadir.

Me: so who is Mystery Mohammed?

Teachers Aide walks by: who are you trying to find?

Me: -turns laptop around- can you identify this child?

Teachers Aide: oh! That's Mohammed!

[libraford]

So theres two Mohammeds. Secretary cant find data for Mystery Mohammed. No one can find his name. All we know is he's in preschool.

Me: okay! Can you direct me to the teacher?

Teachers Aide: sure.

I have my laptop open to the photo as I'm walking down the hall, updating data as we go looking for this kid. Checking hairstyles and clothes in vase we see him in the hall. Buffalo check shirt. Hi-top fade. Secretary is freaking out a little that she lost all data for entire student.

We pass the library.

A class is exiting.

I see the buffalo check shirt. I see the hi-top fade. Kid is wearing a mask.

Teachers aide taps him.

Me: is this you?

Child: no, that's Mohammed.

[libraford]

Identical child is Mohammed's cousin. They dressed alike for picture day because their mothers thought it would be cute.

Cousin: I dont know his last name. His mom never told me.

Teachers aide leads me to classroom where we see...

MOHAMMED!

Me: Hi, hello Mrs preschool teacher. I need to know the name of this child-

Teacher: that's Moham-

Me: Mohammed, yes. We gathered. What's his LAST name?

Teacher:

[libraford]

Teacher: Mohammed, what's your last name?

Mohammed: -stares at the wall, then points to a picture of a duck-

Teacher: his last name is not 'duck.' I'll go look it up for you.

Five minutes later and the reason we couldn't find his name was because he spells it MUHammad. All of this because the teacher swore he was the only kid in the school with the most common name in the world.

End scene, exit left pursued by a migraine.

[gallusrostromegalus]

This sounds like the EXACT flavor of bullshit literally everyone I know whos' had to deal with the education system in Ohio has told me about. Honestly I'm just glad it didn't escalate to a fistfight in the parking lot somehow.

[guerrillatech]

[doublechocolatedonut]

Wrestlers pressing their foreheads together: 😠

Me: KISS! KISS! KISS!

[zoesupreme]

Back when I worked at walgreens I didn't know witch hazel was a real thing people would come in asking for it and I'd be like yeah it's on aisle 3 next to the wolfsbane and eye of newt you fucking idiot bastard

[zoesupreme]

By talos this can't be happening again

[hejibits]

Looking cool, Joker! HD mirror (mobile users may need the Imgur app): https://imgur.com/irL7koP www.hejibits.com

[alphacrone]

i’m going to invent the anti-alexa. she’ll be programmed to ignore everything i ask, play smashmouth at 4 am for no reason, and spy on jeff bezos. 

[alphacrone]

WAIT

[alphacrone]

[kasinonightlife-deactivated2025]

Shepard: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Jack: Well, Miranda and I-

Miranda: *Elbows Jack*

Jack: ... Wouldn't know.

[awakandangoddess]

This

gotta be the equivalent to this

[misomimii]

Same energy

Lmao

[lpbear]

[cevansdilf]

[victorgparra-deactivated2020111]

[idonthavevans]

[soufcakmistress]

Screaminggggg

[emma-elsa-0000]

The day I don’t reblog this is the day I die

[marvelxs-universe]

literally one of the greatest threads on this app

[melinda-january]

🤣🤣

[tytoalbion]

Girls…are like strawberries

[tytoalbion]

Sometimes they are in the grocery store