there is no conditions more fun to watch your fav team play under than when they are playing a bit shit and making ridiculous mistakes but not losing yet
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@autisticbokutoenthusiast
there is no conditions more fun to watch your fav team play under than when they are playing a bit shit and making ridiculous mistakes but not losing yet
yesterday? blorbo stuff. today? blorbo stuff. tomorrow? you'll never guess
strong as fuck ice mummy
Why is pet play always dogs anyway
Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.
Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog
Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry
praying to this goddess
if you're not playing mermaids with me then i have to assume you're playing mermaids against me
Ipnotico
the music is almost as good as that visual
Turn the sound on! You will not be disappointed, people!
FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD, UNMUTE!!!!
n years later this is still one of my favorite videos
never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man
can people stop saying insane things on this post
forced to say “it’s okay!” Instead of throwing a fucking chair at their head
Why does your post have lingerie on
God forbid a bitch be feeling herself while mentally ill in this economy 😢
(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right
This is why you shouldn't take off The Amulet to shower.
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
World Heritage Post
I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.
Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe
we are in the midst of a friday ass thursday. keep your wits about you.
somebody put this in a time capsule because it is so important that future generations see this
crossfaded somewhere between "there has to be more to life than this" and "every mundane thing is beautiful when you're with people you love"
Do you know… why I love the Gemini constellation so much? Enough to get it tattooed? Because…Gemini represents the two of us. That’s right. But…it has an even deeper meaning. Actually, Gemini is always in the sky. But we can only see it at certain times. Only visible at night, and only clearly during certain months. But every time it appears, it’s always together. Never separated. Just like our love, that never disappears from each other. Thank you so much, Pleng. Thank you, for being born to be together.
WAN & PLENG || AFFAIR (2024)
the self-indulgent fanfiction will continue until morale improves
Imagine if people watched Interview with the Vampire and it inspired them to think about how the past is in a very real way inaccessible to us and memory can be misleading even when you're not being dishonest and different people can have different experiences of the same event that feel emotionally true and are very real to the people who experienced them even if they contradict each other and often you will never be able to know what really happened and how this can make repairing damaged relationships difficult and threatening to a person's sense of self