Graceful Rooms of Alabaster Stone

They/them | 30+ | queer writer | assorted crafts (#my projects)

[consumedbyachillesinthewomb]

I was listening to this song in my car this morning and had a fucking brain blast and had to make this as soon as I got home from work.

[samreich]

pretty good i think

[academicssay]

[catradoraism]

[softlypause]

Haha looks like that relationship didn’t work out… didn’t work out et al.

[self-proclaimed-mad-scientist]

When I was younger I thought the black market was a physical place in the middle of a desert canyon somewhere, and the reason it was called that was because all the stalls used black fabric. I thought that human bones and brains in jars were sold there. I thought you could buy smuggled artifacts and stolen artwork from painters long dead. I thought that you could buy elephant ivory and endangered bird eggs. I thought that you could buy rhinoceros meat and wild chinchilla coats. I thought you could buy pirated copies of movies and hard drives full of government secrets. I kind of wanted to go, but I knew it was a terrible thing to ask. I wouldn’t have bought anything, I would have just liked to look.

[baddywronglegs]

What other animals would benefit from a hammerhead variety?

[kosmogrl]

oooh I get it it’s always gonna be because of the environment I grew up in

[aceofpans]

it’s because of the curse

[chiarrara]

why was messi lowkey serving saddam hussein hiding spot

[stupidestasshole]

what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

[jessss-ica]

if anyone needs me i’ll be alone in my tower

[grilde1chesse]

guys its july 20th, the day humans first ever made it to the moon. its moon day. everyone wake up its moon day. the first time humankind set foot on a celestial being that wasn't earth was 55 years ago today. probably culturally significant i think. happy moon day everyone

[goslinggf]

um...exsqueak me ?

[cheddar-baby]

i could smell your boytoy coming from down the road. Wretched little rotted morsel of a thing, may he fall to time and become carrion

[harlecore]

[coffeefocusrat]

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

[penandinkprincess]

no but i'm still thinking about how much boromir would fucking LOVE the shire

it is beautiful rolling hills just stuffed to the GILLS with hobbits

including BABY HOBBITS

HOBBITS BUT SOMEHOW IMPOSSIBLY EVEN SMALLER

and yeah the adults might be fairly wary, but we see in the first movie that the kids come running immediately to see gandalf in hopes of seeing something magic

and now??? here is LARGE PERSON??? who can play swords and toSS THEM REAL HIGH UP IN THE AIR AND CATCH THEM???

boromir deserved to retire as the grandpa of endless waves of hobbits, and i will cry forever that he never got to live his destiny

[penandinkprincess]

weeping on the floor about

the idea of a hobbit mama scolding her faunts not to get too rough with "nice mr. boromir" as this man is exactly where he wants to be being dogpiled by giggly bb hobbits who absolutely "defeated" him in "combat"

warrior hands that have seen so much violence SO gently holding a TEENY TINY baby hobbit he was handed to let a papa hobbit track down his wayward toddler

(boromir fighting back tears because THEY COME THIS SMALL??? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? THE BABY FITS IN ONE OF HIS HANDS???) (baby yawns and snuggles their lil cheek against his thumb and this man is nearly brought to his knees)

Official Manager Of Lifting Big Things

boromir accidentally joining a hobbit stitch and bitch club because someone's gammer asked him to carry her yarn for her to the meeting and he didn't know how to leave after he was greeted and handed food and tea

the club is actually fun, and the hobbit grannies respond to his tales of politics and battle with the same sympathetic clucking that they do to rivals stealing recipes, including his hand being patted sympathetically

boromir gets his own special big cup that moves from house to house for meetings so he can get an acceptable amount of tea for gossip time

[penandinkprincess]

there is So Much Lap for bb hobbits to claim

[penandinkprincess]

the concept of bb hobbits making him a flower crown for the spring festival so he can match everyone but having to adjust it twice because it's the first one they've made so big before

[penandinkprincess]

the idea of bb hobbits who heard stories (mostly from pippin and merry) who now yell out "GONDOR >:D" when charging into a playfight (they don't know what a gondor is) (they're not interested in learning)

(five of them are holding up boromir's shield and can't see past it) (they will charge headfirst into a tree) (they will learn nothing from this experience)

boromir having to learn how to do the cat owner shuffle because there are always faunts underfoot (usually trying to catch a lift on his feet because he can step SO high :D)

gandalf being lowkey salty because HE still gets side glances??? but boromir??? is basically seen as everyone's relative who just happens to be very large??? yes he is Big Folk, but above and beyond that, he is hobbit ✊😔

[penandinkprincess]

@milady-bugg oh my god great pyrenees boromir

[penandinkprincess]

@little---furnace

oh my god cultural misunderstanding of

in gondor: constantly at war, awareness of supply use, the polite thing to do is to ask for more if you want it but to always have finished what's on your plate when you're done.

in the shire: with hobbit appetites, a fully empty plate means a guest needs more. no one wastes a bunch (leavings will be fed to the pigs), but good manners to show you've had enough involves leaving just a bit to show you were well-satisfied and completely full. an empty plate means you need more to fill up the corners.

so boromir is trying to be done, but the hobbits just keep putting more on his plate, and it turns into a feedback loop of politeness that ends with boromir eating more than he ever has and still being stuck at this tea party two hours past when he first tried to leave.

the comedy of this poor man trying SO hard to eat fast enough that he can put his plate down and escape versus hobbit granny watching him like a hawk with serving tongs in one hand and a tray of mini quiche in another.

[woman-becomer]

imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

[cerleansky]

The legacies people leave behind in you.

My handwriting is the same style as the teacher’s who I had when I was nine. I’m now twenty one and he’s been dead eight years but my i’s still curve the same way as his.

I watched the last season of a TV show recently but I started it with my friend in high school. We haven’t spoken in four years.

I make lentil soup through the recipe my gran gave me.

I curl my hair the way my best friend showed me.

I learned to love books because my father loved them first.

How terrifying, how excruciatingly painful to acknowledge this. That I am a jigsaw puzzle of everyone I have briefly known and loved. I carry them on with me even if I don’t know it. How beautiful.

[speaklavenderthoughts-deactivat]

absolutely obsessed with these tags