Heeheehaha @avegahahato - Tumblr Blog

wordfather

if you complete one task off your to do list you should be allowed 3 days of chilling afterwards as a reward

sailermoon

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

sailermoon

excitedrainbow

IT’S LITERALLY HAPPENING LMAOOOOO

pealeii

❌ “friends don’t look at friends like that” devalues friendship/platonic forms of love, pushes amatonormativity

❌ “historians will call them friends” devalues historians and forces complex relationships into modern simplicities, also devalues friendship/platonic forms of love

✅ “do they know its legal now” suggests the characters are stupid, poorly suggests that this is the only barrier to their relationship—both of which are funny as hell

mackonfire

Gay person: i’m gay

Me: ok

106 worms: 🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱 🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱

107thworm

dont leave me out

mackonfire

I’m so sorry

rabbits-of-negative-euphoria

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

makingtrouble

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

makingtrouble

Actually I've decided this is a poem

grimbeak

funniest part of undertale/deltarune being inspired by earthbound/mother 3 is that at the end of mother 3 all the characters turn to you, the player, and say thank you for playing our game! thank you for helping us! thank you for talking to us! we love you! please take care of yourself! please take a rest! please love yourself! and in deltarune chapter 4 kris beats you with a hockey stick

abyssalco

No.

wandirge

✦Judgement✦

Print Available here: INPRNT

oldmanpusspuss

The edible isn't kicking in because im a bad person

ryan-sometimes

Some names just sound so ridiculously fake that had they been fictional, people would’ve rolled their eyes in complete disbelief. Like seriously. Wdym there’s a mf called Galileo Galilei. Stfu. You just made that up

ryan-sometimes

Fastest man on earth is a guy called Usain Bolt. Sure I guess. There’s a poker player whose real name is Chris Moneymaker. Whatever. Scott Speed is a racecar driver. Founder of Tito’s Vodka is some guy called Bert Beveridge. There’s a former CNN bureau chief called William Headline. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

david-de-bergerac

silversoulstardust

let's put this one here as well

somecunttookmyurl

weirdnessdk

I fucking love it when people are OBVIOUSLY born to do that exact job! 🤣🤣🤣

mightyoctopus

[ID: Andrew Drinkwater, water research center. Dr Dick Chopp, urologist. Tweet by @JimMFelton “Do you have any other urologists I could talk to?” PC Rob Banks, Avon & Somerset Police. Lieutenant Les McBurney, Sun Prairie Fire Department. /end ID]