
Kiana Khansmith
wallacepolsom

roma★

JVL
No title available
Misplaced Lens Cap
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Product Placement

No title available
ojovivo
Jules of Nature
Stranger Things
$LAYYYTER
sheepfilms
Keni
Claire Keane

#extradirty

blake kathryn
🪼
Cosmic Funnies
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Argentina

seen from United Kingdom
seen from Canada

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@averagespaghet
He's on a quest
That’s just Odin.
Sleipnir is down for maintenance.
me: *has a romantic thought*
me:
escape
May I hit y'all with a hot take
Uncle iroh has Hawaiian shirt energy
Sokka also has the same energy but no sleeves
Thank you for your time
Stop with the faces. You guys love Scooby as much as he do.
The thrilling sequel
jennifer’s body (2009)
This movie gets funnier every year that I get older
All I'm asking is just once let someone in the movies keep a bad haircut.
[angrily hacks off hair with knife]
[perfectly styled pixie cut next scene]
I'm all for this, but I'm also in love with the comedic mental image of a person hacking off their hair in an intense scene, followed by a cutaway gag of them sitting awkwardly in a barber shop with a horrible hack job, waiting their turn.
I accept this version only.
whatever your opinion about aang not killing ozai, I think we can all agree that ozai would have literally rather died than live the rest of his life as That Guy Who Got The Shit Kicked Outta Him By A 12-Year-Old Pacifist Monk.
me: aang is a very powerful avatar and the fact that he was able to mostly-master all the elements at such a young age means he would be a terrifying opponent!
also me: avatar roku’s spirit spends at least 30% of his time haunting ozai, slapping trash can lids together & yelling “you got beat up by caillou”
do you ever look back at a childhood memory and think that it should have by all rights become a significant theme in your life and you wonder why the fuck those things/people haven’t come back around yet and then remember that your life isn’t a perfectly plotted out novel?
Aww shucks. It’s almost like I asked for this opportunity. (I did. Thank you for indulging me, @laughingthelaughiest) General warnings for the description of things involved with terrible car accidents – aka screeching metal and lots of blood. Happy ending though, I promise! Nobody died.
I am six years old. My father plows snow in the winter months, which means that bolted onto the front of his work truck is a very heavy snow plow that – when not in use – rests primly about a foot above the ground like a lady lifting up her skirts as she steps over a puddle.
“Hey kiddo, do you want to come to work with me?” my dad asks one day during a relatively minor* snowstorm.
(* minor my ass)
Because there was nothing more exciting to me at this time in my life than sitting in a warm truck and watching what is essentially a large metal trough push tons of snow from one end of a parking lot to the other, I practically yell, “WHY YES DAD, THAT SOUNDS GREAT!!!” and we get in the truck.
Only instead of arriving at our intended destination, we encounter a car coming from the opposite direction that spins out on a patch of black ice and manages to hurtle broadside at full speed into the plow.
I am pretty much just flung forwards, and terrible things happen to my face when my body continues on its general trajectory towards the windshield. Thanks, momentum!
Luckily (and novel-like), there was a nurse a couple of cars behind us who stopped to see if everyone was okay. She opened my door to find that I was very clearly not okay, and while my father did his best to staunch the blood that was streaming down my face, she tasked herself with keeping me conscious until the paramedics arrived.
Being six and probably concussed, she didn’t talk to me about anything complicated. I did not know who the president was. I sure as heck couldn’t have told you the date. But my favorite subject in school? I know that! Reading! My favorite color? Yellow! My favorite animal? GIRAFFES.
It’s important at this stage to mention that this car accident occurred on a street where people lived, and there had been a group of boys playing in the snow two houses up from where the truck stopped. Boys + crushed cars + blood = apparently just riveting, because a couple of them were staring at me/the vehicles from a couple yards away.
At my presumably slurred but very enthusiastic response of “GIRAFFES!” one of these boys split off from the rest and hoofed it through the snow towards his house. I was too focused on wanting to sleep and the nurse not letting me to notice this, but it for sure happened. As you will see.
Several sirens later, I am loaded into the ambulance wearing a neck brace and what feels like all of the gauze on planet Earth. My dad climbs in next to me, and the paramedic is just about to shut the doors when there’s a very small voice from outside.
We are all as so:
My father: probably still terrified that I’m going to die, literally could not care less what this other tiny child who is not his has to say, wants to get to the hospital, still has to call and tell my mom that I’m injured
The paramedic: good at his job, knows I’m stable, has a moment to spare, leans back out of the ambulance.
Myself: still in shock, staring up at the rows of medical supplies and disgustingly bright lighting, more concerned that my dad will crush my fingers than anything else going on in, say, the bleeding face area. (Severe head injury? Who’s she? DAD I KNOW YOU LOVE ME BUT PLEASE LET GO OF MY HAND THAT HURTS.)
The boy who had hoofed it home and then evidently hoofed it right back: “Would you please give this to the little girl who got hurt?”
Me now in the year 2018: wanting to cry because I still can’t believe this is a real thing that happened to me in real life and it wasn’t a dream it was real
So the paramedic says “Yes, of course. She’ll love it!” or something equally as efficient because I am still technically quite injured and they really do need to get to the hospital at some point. The boy leaves, the door is shut, the paramedic sets something on the stretcher next to me.
[pause for dramatic effect]
We tried to find the kid who gave him to me, but nothing ever came of it. In the back of my fully healed head I’m still waiting for the novel that must be my life to shoehorn that boy back into the plot. Where are you, giraffe man? I have to thank you for the best gift I’ve ever been given.
Jamie Lynn shouting “well then move the fuck out” in a random woman’s face after hearing her yell no one wants Britney in the neighborhood. that was a classic
Zoey snapped
4. If the car pulls up to you run in the opposite direction.
5. Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger
6. If they put you in the trunk kick out the headlights
7. If you get lost find a woman with a child. Never ask a man for help (this one was drilled)
That scream fire piece of advice is literally life saving
8. Watch your shadows and reflections, especially if someone is walking behind you. A split second notice is better than none and will help you.
Yes this last one really saves lives y'all I do it all the time
OK EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND FOCUS ON WHAT’S REALLY IMPORTANT