Picture it.

[nekoshige]

BOCHIDEN さん >旅行計画 >Travel planning

[nekoshige]

えとら さん

[triflesandparsnips]

Hey, everybody. Long time, no write.

You might know me from the stretchmarks post – my how to interview a therapist post – or a lot of my random fiction. I posted for years and then I, uh, stopped.

So here’s what happened: I have an ex. We have kids together. I thought that we were sort of managing to make the kid sharing work, and then – boom. Turns out she was stalking this here tumblr, taking me to court over accusations of me being too crazy to see my daughters, all sorts of bullshit shenanigans meant to alienate me from my children and keep herself in total gaslighting control.

Want to read more about it? Well, hey, guess what – there’s a GoFundMe for that.

I put the rest of the details there, along with what exactly I’m trying to fund: $5000 to take her to trial. I’m going to lay it to you straight – without that, I’ve got nothing. She wins, just because she can outspend me. In a trial, maybe things wouldn’t go my way, maybe they would – but I’ll never know.

I’m just looking for enough to let justice, rather than poverty, make the decision.

Anyway, here’s the link: gofundme.com/2h8vcu24

Anything you can do, I’d appreciate. I’ll take questions and post updates on the GoFundMe. And, fuck it, while I’m here, if you want me to update or write something, leave me an ask and I’ll see what I can do.

[triflesandparsnips]

Reblogging for the afternoon/after work crowd.

I’ll do a more thorough update about today’s stuff on the gofundme page later tonight, but thank you so, so much for the reblogs and the donations and everything so far and I gotta be honest, jfc you guys are the fucking best.

[awesomecrime]

The newest set of brooms arrives on the Wizarding market, the successor to the Firebolt, the Air Devil!  A departure from classic broom designs, it replaces the wooden frame with a sleek metal casing.  Gone are the fragile straws that are easily bent or broken, opting instead for a unique, shell-like covering that contains the core of this beast of a broom.  Not much else is known about the Air Devil, but with it’s bold defiance of convention and a bright red color to finish it off, it is certain that these brooms will be making scene this Quidditch season. Harry: ... Hermione: ... Harry: ...It's a vacuum. Hermione: It's a vacuum. Harry:  It looks like a Dirt Devil. Hermione:  It looks like whoever made these just painted "Air" over "Dirt." Harry:  ... Hermione:  ... Ron:  Bloody hell guys, have you seen the new broom?!  It looks absolutely wicked!

[triflesandparsnips]

1)Steve/Bucky 2)"Steven Grant Rogers, don't you dare put your name into the Goblet of Fire!"

"So you’re tellin’ me," Bucky says, his arms crossed as he stares down at his best friend’s innocent, butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-his-mouth baby blues, "that you definitely didn’t put your name into the fuckin’ Goblet of Fire."

Steve shifts a little, rubbing his knuckles across his nose and just missing the black eye he’d gotten from some Beauxbaton shit the day before for intervening in a situation — namely that Beauxbaton not taking a Ravenclaw’s “no” for an answer.

Steve’s five-foot-nothing, doesn’t know when the hell to back down, is the prettiest thing this side of the Gryffindor boy’s tower — and before Bucky, fuck, probably goes to lock himself in one of the classrooms to try and come up with yet another plan to keep Steve alive through another year of this warzone, he’s going to haul Steve’s scrawny ass outside and show him the goddamn star-spangled fireworks his fucking name set off the second he snuck his name into Dumbledore’s Rogers-shaped death trap.

[awesomecrime]

For the first task Bucky had a detailed plan to deal with the dragon, but Steve just transfigured a rock to look like an egg, and levitated the real one away while the dragon was distracted.

The night before the second task, Bucky has to hand off the last minute strategy (seriously, listening to the egg underwater?) to Howard with the words “invent something, anything”. He’s more than a little put out when that something ends up being 200 pounds of muscles and do-goodness that lifts him from the bottom of the lake.  At least his eyes were the same.

When the third task arrives Bucky is not the stands.  He snuck into the maze hours before hand, blending into the shadows, clearing the way for Steve as stealthily as possible.  He allows himself to relax when Steve reaches the Triwizard Cup, and is amused when Steve and the Potter kid get into a good person contest.   The spell is broken when the two disappear when they both touch the cup. Something has gone wrong, and a feeling of dread envelopes him.  He arrives at the start of the maze just as the two warp back from wherever they had gone.  In his arms, Steve holds the still body of Harry Potter as if it were porcelain.  Steve’s eyes go to Dumbledore and, with a look that is both heartbroken and accusatory, utters just three words: “Voldemort is back.”

This was supposed to be a lighthearted look at Steve accomplishing the tasks while Bucky grouches along.  Then it went dark. 

[triflesandparsnips]

DUDE.

"I’m not the one from the prophecy, Buck," Steve whispers in the dark. "But everybody thinks I have to be now. Or I must’ve been, all along. They’re fitting me into their story like I had a place there all along, just because I…"

Bucky runs his fingers through Steve’s hair; Steve’s curled up on Bucky’s bed, like he used to do when he was still small. They don’t fit quite the same anymore. In more than one way.

Bucky’s not so sure Steve isn’t the Chosen One.

He can’t talk about that to Steve, though. It’s part of a growing list of things he can’t talk to Steve about, starting with how Bucky had had to have a talk with Weasley before the grieving shit did something stupid out in the Common Room, and ending with how Bucky has already gone up to Krum and asked about some of the defensive magics they teach at Durmstrang that maybe Hogwarts doesn’t approve of. Nothing really Dark — not too Dark, anyway, to break the Krum’s vow. Just… some extra stuff. That’s probably going to become necessary sooner rather than later.

Because the fact is, it’s a different world now, whether Steve likes it or not. If anything’s going stay the same, it’s that Bucky’s gonna have Steve’s back. Til the end of the line.

Bucky keeps staring up at the canopy of his bed, his hand in Steve’s hair, and wonders where he can practice distance shots with his wand.

[awesomecrime]

There are parts about that night in the graveyard that Steve hasn't told to anyone.  Not Dumbledore, not Peggy, not even Bucky.  He told them about how the when he and Harry grabbed the Cup turned portkey, they landed in a place neither of them recognized.  He didn't tell them that he landed on his wand -- Cherry, 10'', Unicorn Hair -- snapping it.  He told them that he ducked behind a gravestone when he heard "Kill the spare." and the shrapnel from the gravestone caught him square in the temple, putting him down for the count, and leaving his attempted killers thinking he was dead.  He didn't tell them was that he was still conscious while his brain tried to remember what movement entailed.  He didn't tell them that he had watched the whole ritual take place.  He didn't tell them that when he saw Voldemort resurrected, all he could focus on was the man's lack of a nose.  He did tell them that he regained himself just as Voldemort summoned the Death Eaters.  He told them how he tried to charge them.  He told them that they put him into a body bind and Voldemort "allowed" him to bear witness to the end of Harry Potter.  He told them how Harry fought bravely.  He didn't tell them how it was like watching a wounded mouse try to fight of a hungry snake.  He told them about how Harry fell at the hands of Voldemort.  He didn't tell them that Harry looked right at him, silently pleading for him to do something, anything.  He told them that when Harry died, Voldemort collapsed, surprising the Death Eaters, and how his captor's loss of concentration allowed him to break free (the gleam in Dumbledore's when he relayed that unnerved him).  He told them that he rushed to Harry's side.  He didn't tell them that he grabbed Harry's wand just in time to cast Expelliarmus as Voldemort cast the Killing curse.  He didn't tell them about the weird phenomenon that occurred as the two spells met.  He didn't tell them about how specters of those killed by Voldemort appeared from the man's wand.  He didn't tell them about how Harry appeared and asked Steve to carry him back and apologize for him while they distracted  Voldemort.  He did tell them how he summoned the Cup and warped back onto the Hogwarts quidditch pitch.

He doesn't tell them, nor does he know, that he's carried more than Harry's body with him.

[triflesandparsnips]

1)Steve/Bucky 2)"Steven Grant Rogers, don't you dare put your name into the Goblet of Fire!"

"So you’re tellin’ me," Bucky says, his arms crossed as he stares down at his best friend’s innocent, butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-his-mouth baby blues, "that you definitely didn’t put your name into the fuckin’ Goblet of Fire."

Steve shifts a little, rubbing his knuckles across his nose and just missing the black eye he’d gotten from some Beauxbaton shit the day before for intervening in a situation — namely that Beauxbaton not taking a Ravenclaw’s “no” for an answer.

Steve’s five-foot-nothing, doesn’t know when the hell to back down, is the prettiest thing this side of the Gryffindor boy’s tower — and before Bucky, fuck, probably goes to lock himself in one of the classrooms to try and come up with yet another plan to keep Steve alive through another year of this warzone, he’s going to haul Steve’s scrawny ass outside and show him the goddamn star-spangled fireworks his fucking name set off the second he snuck his name into Dumbledore’s Rogers-shaped death trap.

[awesomecrime]

For the first task Bucky had a detailed plan to deal with the dragon, but Steve just transfigured a rock to look like an egg, and levitated the real one away while the dragon was distracted.

The night before the second task, Bucky has to hand off the last minute strategy (seriously, listening to the egg underwater?) to Howard with the words "invent something, anything". He's more than a little put out when that something ends up being 200 pounds of muscles and do-goodness that lifts him from the bottom of the lake.  At least his eyes were the same.

When the third task arrives Bucky is not the stands.  He snuck into the maze hours before hand, blending into the shadows, clearing the way for Steve as stealthily as possible.  He allows himself to relax when Steve reaches the Triwizard Cup, and is amused when Steve and the Potter kid get into a good person contest.   The spell is broken when the two disappear when they both touch the cup. Something has gone wrong, and a feeling of dread envelopes him.  He arrives at the start of the maze just as the two warp back from wherever they had gone.  In his arms, Steve holds the still body of Harry Potter as if it were porcelain.  Steve's eyes go to Dumbledore and, with a look that is both heartbroken and accusatory, utters just three words: "Voldemort is back."

This was supposed to be a lighthearted look at Steve accomplishing the tasks while Bucky grouches along.  Then it went dark. 

[zezephry]

This one dude I follow on Twitter is complaining about the Hyrule Warriors roster being dominated by girls because he wants “equality” and an even number of characters from each gender and just ??????

[zezephry]

I wanted to elaborate a little more on my confusion here. First, the Zelda series is very well-known for having more prominent girls than dudes. Especially when you consider their significance, the only other guys I can really think of are Darunia (who was confirmed today), Ganondorf (who was teased beforehand), Tingle, Groose, and maybe Makar? And those last three really do not compare to characters like Impa and Sheik and Midna who have either been represented in the series heavily, or are incredibly popular and important characters, Sheik in particular who has appeared in SSB and such. People complaining about Agitha fail to realize that in Twilight Princess she is kind of important, and has a bigger role in terms of an actual quest than say Tingle.

The second important thing that this dude is contradicting himself on is commenting on how Hyrule Warriors is a boobfest and also saying that “gender shouldn’t matter!” in games, in the same breath. If gender shouldn’t matter then why the fuck does it matter that there’s more playable girls? I seriously do not understand gaming journalists sometimes and it’s really fucking weird to see this kind of behavior from someone who’s stuff I used to enjoy. In most games with multiple playable characters there’s usually like one out of four girls and the rest are dudes. Even though Smash is doing way WAY better with representation than before, and I am absolutely not complaining about it, it’s still not equal, but he refuses to comment on that.

I really just wish when dudes are uncomfortable that they’re not being pandered to outright say it instead of making up some bullshit thing like being offended that Tingle and  That One Nameless Male Castle Guard From Ocarina of Time aren’t in the game when they “have as much importance as Zelda herself”. Fuck off.

[zezephry]

Ah yes how could anyone forget, my favorite Zelda character.

[tyforce-of-courage-deactivated2]

[digitalalchemist]

… I officially need this game.

[appleseeddrama]

THEY HAVE THE ACE ATTORNEY OFFICIAL MANGA IN MY LAW LIBRARY I AM CRYING.

[beamkatanachronicles]

Your honor, something is amiss here!

As you are probably aware, library materials are labeled with barcodes as well as a number to determine their location on the shelf, as per the Dewey Decimal System. The books just to the left of the manga are labeled, as are the DVDs just in view on the lower shelf. Look even further behind these shelves and you’ll see that even those books are labeled! 

Ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom, I invite you to take a closer look at the volumes that are, allegedly, part of this law library! Something is missing from the spines, isn’t there?

Where are the bar codes?!

This is a blatant contradiction! The OP is lying— these volumes cannot, therefore, be a part of this library at all! I propose that they simply brought these materials in for the sake of the joke!! 

[japansace]

Only focusing on one aspect and not the whole of the issue, are we, Mr. Wright? Typical.

Your honor, if you bring your attention to the books just left of the manga, you’ll notice there’s a book (the second to the left) that also does not have a bar code.

If you examine the picture even closer—particularly the DVDs below—you’ll see that they bear bar codes, but not on the spines. No, they have them on the back and/or front of the DVDs. Of course, this method of labeling and organizing isn’t limited to products of the film industry alone.

Therefore, I’d like to propose that it is entirely possible that the manga books do, in fact, belong to the library!

[beamkatanachronicles]

Wh-WHAAAAT?! You’re kidding!! 

(Shoot, he’s got me there… Better think of something fast! Something about the books that sets them apart from—

…! I’ve got it!)

While that may be true, you’ve also overlooked one critical error: the titles of the books! Whether or not your hypothesis regarding the labeling system is correct, these titles aren’t alphabetized correctly! What kind of self-respecting librarian would misplace such vital books? 

Well, Edgeworth?

[japansace]

While it pains me to have to point out something so obvious, I suppose I’ll make an exception for you, Wright.

Clearly, one look at the titles of the books next to the manga is a tell-all of this certain library’s less-than-stellar organization skills. None of the books are in alphabetical order, I’m afraid.

They could very well be alphabetized by author and not title, but it’s a little difficult to be able to decipher that from this single picture, wouldn’t you say?

Furthermore, the manga books themselves are in numerical order, suggesting some kind of system is in place, albeit not a very good one, if the alphabetizing is off.

At the end of the day, it seems like neither of us can draw a clear conclusion from this evidence alone. Your honor, I strongly suggest a recess in which we could investigate the library itself further.

[beamkatanachronicles]

I see the issue here very clearly.

Due to the uncertain nature of this case, we’ll have to postpone this decision until more decisive evidence can be obtained. The court will now take a 15-minute recess.

(W-wait, but I’m not—)

[ingthing]

WAIT!!!

I’ve got some decisive evidence for you, pal!

We investigated further into the photo. Zooming in, you can see a label on the DVD case to the bottom left.

Photo Close-up added to the court record!

As you can see, pal, you can vaguely see the words “Of Toledo Law Library” on the label!

And, considering possibilities of the rest of that label, “University of Toledo" was the first to come to my mind!

A quick search on the University of Toledo’s Online Law Library Database revealed that there ARE the comics pictured in it!

Miles Edgeworth Ace Attorney Investigations volumes 1-4 and Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney volumes 1-5!

And there’s more! 

The section these comics are filed under is the “Law in Popular Culture" Section, which matches up with the stickers on the rest of the books on that shelf: "Lowering the Bar: Lawyer Jokes & Legal Culture”, “Prime Time Law”, “Lawyers in Your Living Room!" and "Reel Justice: The Courtroom Goes to the Movies”!

Not only is it in the right section, it’s also a documented part of the Law Library’s database!

How’s that for decisive evidence?

[bustedbitmap]

[portalgifs]

NO BUT YOU ALL NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW FUNNY THIS IS THEYRE LITERALLY FILLING A ROBOT WITH BULLETS, LIKE BULLETS THAT YOU FIRE FROM A GUN. NOW NORMALLY FIRING A GUN TRIGGERS THE BULLET TO EXPLODE CREATING A PRESSURE THAT CAUSES THE TIP OF THE BULLET TO BE FORCED OUT OF THE BARREL AT A HIGH SPEED. 

WHaT CAVE JOHNSON’S TURRET’S DO IS LOAD A TON OF FUCKING BULLETS INTO THE CASE OF THE SENTRY LIKE IT”S A GODDAMN GUMBALL MACHINE AND THEN USE A FUcKIN SPRING LOADED PISTON TO FIRE IT THAT IS SO UNNECESSARY AND INEFFECTIVE LIKE NO WONDER CHELL CAN RESIST SO MANY BULLETS THE LIKELIHOOD ITD CAUSE ANYTHING MORE THAN A BAD BRUISE IS LIKE ONE IN A HUNDRED

[paramaline]

shout out to thorin oakenshield for getting lost in the shire not once, but twice

#not all those who wander are lost #(but some are)

[maskednocturnalvigilantism]

too majestic to ask for directions

[mrs-jack-turner]

Even the ring wraiths asked for directions.

[spicy-blanket]

Even the ring wraiths asked for directions.

[kbfoto]

Introverts don’t get lonely if they don’t socialize with a lot of people, but we do get lonely if we don’t have intimate interactions on a regular basis.

I have never related to a quote more in my life than I do this one right here, right now. BAM.  (via reificationofnotion)

[themysteryofgravityfalls]

Season 2 of Gravity Falls premieres this summer!

[fuckyeahgravityfalls]

Hot tamale!!

[gavindunsire]

[sky-tinsel]

When not to sing Let It Go…

[fndungeonmom]

WHAT KIND OF SADISTIC MONSTER CREATED THIS!!!

[sunnychespin]

That is not what I was expecting…..

[aprilsvigil-deactivated20140416]

No. You know what? Fuck this.

If Ron and Hermione weren’t going to be a thing, you know who she should have ended up with? Not Harry, that’s for fucking sure.

Viktor Krum.

The only motherfucker worthy of the ground that goddess walks on

ok that’s my opinion, bye

[flanoirbunny]

expectation:

reality:

[cannedviennasnausage]

 #any zelda fan will tell you that Link is secretly a gigantic dweeb #this is merely proof of that

truer words have never been spoken

[lithuanian-polish-commonwea-blog]

I share that headcanon. c:

[flanoirbunny]

>implying that Link being a dweeb isn’t actual canon

[patto-senpain]

#LINK IS THE BIGGEST DWEEB TO EVER DWEEB #IN EVERY INCARNATION #ACTUAL FACT

[egrizzzzzzzzzzzz]

Link’s awkwardness appreciation post.

[zeldanoodles-deactivated2014122]

Made. My. Life.