Ahhhhhhhhhh

[kosmogrl]

living my life one ‘it is what it is’ at a time

[havingrevelations-deactivated20]

we should have started rioting when they took cd and dvd player slots out of laptops

[flythesail]

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again

[byjove]

I do not agree with veganism as a moral standard. If it is your personal moral stance, that is fine. If you think humans eating meat is inherently immoral, I don’t want to deal with you, you’re hopeless. Vegan ideology behaves more like a sect of evangelical Christianity than a dietary choice.

[literallycrashingoutrn]

Veganism is better for the environment, but claiming that it's a morally superior choice ignores cultural and economic factors that make people eat animal products.

[byjove]

It is not inherently better for the environment. That is the thing. When you begin trying to explain that local, sustainably sourced animal protein is better for the environment than imported plant proteins that are farmed 3,500 miles away using slave labor, they start tuning you out. Down is better for the environment than polyester stuffing, leather is better for the environment than pleather. We should work on making animal agricultural practices more sustainable instead of trying to shame everyone into eating plant products that are also farmed unethically and unsustainably.

[newyorkcitywater]

why is the human body composed of such capricious tubes

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Double Income No Kids used to be seen as a kind of lavish lifestyle, now it’s like…a requirement to have any remote chance at financial stability

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

This post is getting notes again so I see we’re all handling the cost of living crisis well 🙃

[animentality]

[theriverbeyond]

honestly getting cozy in bed is one of the top experiences one can have on this green earth

[strawberry-fairy-girl]

I spent an hour making none pizza with left beef in tomodachi life

[bucksangel]

this is immensely funny to me

[vexwerewolf]

Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired

[vexwerewolf]

Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either

[vexwerewolf]

Nah I'm safe it wouldn't happen twice

[vexwerewolf]

Minions stop this post from reaching 1k

[lesser-robot-cat]

On it, boss! Gettin' this post to 10k, just like you said!

[penny-anna]

Tourists in the Marvel Universe visiting New York and afterwards complaining to whoever they think the Relevant Authorities are like 'i was in New York for a WHOLE WEEK and Spider-Man didn't show up ONCE' and the relevant authorities (idk. City council?) having to issue a statement along the lines of 'we do not control the Spider-Man' (subheading: he is actually a wanted criminal)

[penny-anna]

Peter Parker (in bed recovering from the flu) (very tired) scrolling twitter like what the fuck is happening

[penny-anna]

#its like ethical dolphin swimming #we do not control whether the dolphins are present #we do not control whether the spiderman is present

company running 'Spider-man tours' where they take you around places Spider-man often visits and also locations of famous Spider-man incidents advertised like 'come to New York and see the Amazing Spider-man!'* (*no refunds if Spider-man is not there.)

constantly getting complains about Spider-man not turning up and responding like 'it is clear in the promotional materials that we do not guarantee Spider-man'

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Peter Parker's work inbox getting flooded by emails from tour companies who want to hire him as a Spider-Man consultant since his photography suggests he's really good at knowing where Spider-Man will be

[notahorseindisguise]

petting me is actually incredibly beneficial to everyone because you get to see me be pet and im real cute about it

[catchymemes]

[the-forest-library]

[the-forest-library]

Love it when a post finds its intended audience

[wowwforever]

monster that wants to eat your flesh : Okay, that's what most carnivores do. Not scary.

monster that wants to drink your blood : Okay, that's what mosquitos do to me. Not scary.

monster that wants to specifically eat your bones : whadda fuck

[morkaischosen]

#giant African land snail if it was evil as opposed to a being of pure heart and utmost virtue

hey tumblr user ravnervn, I now have additional questions, such as, bwah?

[ravnervn]

Giant African Land Snails eat bones in order to get calcium for their shells, but are also among God's most innocent of creatures and thus contain no malice. Hope this helps.

[the-awkward-turt]

Giant African land snails are (as far as I know) the only invasive species in the US that poses risks to all three categories of environmental damage, human health, AND structural damage--because they will eat stucco and plaster in their hunt for calcium.

Of course I don't blame the snails for this, they are just doing their snail thing and it's not their fault we introduced them to a new place where there's lots of delicious native vegetation and building materials to devour. But if bones are not available they WILL eat your house.

[pokemonjunge]

Kinda poetic that they will eat YOUR house to build THEIR house

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It's the ciiiircle of hooouse....

[thelibrawrian-deactivated201912]

i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.

[tehzii]

for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story. a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?” “uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.” “ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?” i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?” to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-” i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.