[awgisbetterthanyou]

I hope I'm happy

[firefox-official]

i have this writing style i like to call “uncertain.” it’s where the narrator isn’t really sure what they’re talking about either

[dkpsyhog]

That is so powerful and I want to write a short story in this style now thank you

[firefox-official]

“the park had been there for as long as i’d lived there, i think. i couldn’t be sure. i was never one to go to the park anyway” nobody has any clue what’s going on

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

self aware unreliable narrator

[twilightisgaynow]

[awgisbetterthanyou]

Blair Sinclair is your average senior in college, majoring in Business. She enjoys the occasional frat party, and just an overall normal college experience. Alex Grant is an up and coming pop star, about to release a new album. His debut single is 'Blair Sinclair'. Blair's college experience gets flipped upside down when the song that is playing on every radio station is about her.

[awgisbetterthanyou]

Blair Sinclair is your average senior in college, majoring in Business. She enjoys the occasional frat party, and just...

Hey! I know I haven’t been on here in a while. I just started writing a new story on Wattpad, and I am updating later today! There’s currently 2 chapters posted, about 3000 words each. I’d love if you gave it read, and gave me some feedback!

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

if you’re american and coming to australia, I’m gonna go ahead and say that you should be 100 percent way more worried about being king hit by a dude named “dane” in a bintang singlet than any fucking spiders that exist here

[marimopet]

what does this say in english

[merinnan]

“Good sir, if you are a resident of the United States of America and coming to visit the sunny land of Australia, allow me to inform you that you should be rather more concerned about being sucker punched by a gentleman named ‘Dane’ who is likely to be seen wearing a wifebeater with a beer company logo on it than by any of the dangerous spiders that exist on this lovely continent”.

[myangelofthelord]

ok so what does it say in american

[merinnan]

“You’re more likely to get sucker punched/cold-cocked by an asshole than you are to be bitten by a spider”.

[star-spangled-jackass]

thank you

[you-or-your-memory]

Well rattle my spoons, that don’t make a lick of sense. Wot in tarnation does this hootenanny say?

[flubz]

“If ya mosey on by Australia, you best be fixin’ to get to some fisticuffs more'n checkin fer spiders.”

[operationsc]

This is a Rosetta Stone for a single language

[twilightisgaynow]

new high school classmate: so what’s your name

renesmee: renesmee

new classmate: that’s… interesting

renesmee: my mom was on crack when she named me

bella, sitting literally two seats away: 

[writing-prompt-s]

The year is 2022. You and your gang shoot down Amazon delivery drones and sell their contents for a living.

[triskele1312]

Is this a prompt or a prophesy

[theyoungestwhateleydaughter-dea]

Its an instruction

[historyandmemes]

French people at the Palace of Versailles during the French Revolution: 

[australiansanta]

god how fukin tight was it rearranging your room when you were younger and it feeling like a different space and you’d show your parents and they’d be like wow very nice and you’d be like FUCK yes new room new me i’m gonna put these pillows and fluffy animals back on my bed every fukin morning from now on and like that night you can barely sleep cause you’re so excited to be sleeping in ur new room layout and then the novelty wears off and you go back to your messy self idk or was that just me

[dyeriink]

me, talking to my ridiculously smart friends:

[thottieauntie-deactivated201604]

Never stop learning about your partner. Never lose that wonder that made you want to get to know them initially because we are constantly growing as individuals.

[d1rtypaws]

I hate that the Dairy Queen cashiers have to flip your blizzard upside down before giving it to you. I hate it. I know it’s most likely going to stay in it’s cup and I know I get a free one if it doesn’t, but the cocktail of a potential disaster and the cashier apologizing to what is most definitely a horrified me, having to sit in a drive-thru while someone behind me just bore witness to my fucking salted caramel blondie blizzard splattering on the asphalt, melting away while they mix me another one and i pray to god that they don’t flip it upside down again, is just a stress that I find entirely unnecessary. I trust it’s thick, just give me your word and i’ll be on my merry way.

[d1rtypaws]

I just imagined how it would feel to have them flip your second blizzard and have it spill too and I felt my shoulders physically tense

[mrgulogulo]

I’ve only been to DQ like 3 times in my life but the 2nd time I ordered a milkshake or something and I heard about DQ drinks not spilling when you flip them. I was not aware that this ability was only relegated to their blizzards. So long story short I said “hey, look at this” to my family and they watched me pour my milkshake on the ground.

[awgisbetterthanyou]

This summer has been absolutely magical. Every second of it has been a dream. It has also gone by SO fast. I don’t even have the actual date he is leaving for school yet, but I’m dreading it. I don’t know what to expect, I don’t know if this time I’ll be crying for days or if I’ll have one good cry and be fine. I have a lot more to keep me and my mind occupied this time. I have a job, I’m starting at a new school, I’m going to try to get in shape, I want to do things to make everything easier and less stressful. I’m already trying to pick out which weekend would be best for me to go up and visit. I’m trying to plan all of this stuff so I have little dates to look forward to. Having him home makes me feel so complete, I didn’t really realize how empty I feel without him near. Weeks without him is torture, but when he’s home for summer just days without him kill me. And I know this is the last time we do this. This is the last time summer ends and he goes back to school. For that I am so thankful. I am so thankful for being able to daydream about the future and knowing that it’s coming. This is something that’s going to bring our future closer and make us stronger. But until the future is here and he’s home for good, I’m gonna cry.

[feetdavidson]

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

[feetdavidson]

this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther

me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid

[bitchycode]

if you see this, even if we never talk, PayPal me $600

[rupaulsdragracefuckedupdrag-dea]

I’m so despacito I’m literally going on omegle for friends

[rupaulsdragracefuckedupdrag-dea]

my phone autocorrected desperate to despacito I love this timeline