can you hear me, achilles?
been gone for a while here... i was on the grind for school, but i've used that to my advantage to make a YC edit for my classical reception writing seminar's final project hehe ^^
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@awkwardambivert789
can you hear me, achilles?
been gone for a while here... i was on the grind for school, but i've used that to my advantage to make a YC edit for my classical reception writing seminar's final project hehe ^^
Making Eva Stratt East German in the film is really really meaningful. She grew up (in the 1980s I assume?) behind the Berlin Wall. She came of age in a world defined by scarcity, secrecy, checkpoints, state control. She knew, viscerally knew, from her own life experience, what the whole entire world was going to devolve into when things started getting bad. It wasn't just some abstract academic idea to her (though, as a historian, she also intellectually knew from countless examples of eras of conflict across history). But this she knew in her bones, and she knew that she would have to do whatever it took to prevent it. Having that personal history tacitly be part of her character's motivation is so, so good.
Analyzing X's Tarot Reading
As with everything, I'm sure this has been done to death elsewhere by other people, but I haven't looked into it at all because I didn't want my interpretation influenced by someone else's. Understanding a Tarot reading is as unique to the reader as it is to the person being read, so it's important to go in with as few assumptions as possible.
DISCLAIMER: I do this for fun. I don't consider Tarot to be a form of magical divination, but rather a way to put one's thoughts in order. You already know what you want and what's best for you, even if only subconsciously, and the cards are just an instrument by which to pull that to the surface. In real life, Tarot is essentially a form of Rubber Duck Debugging for your brain, loosely guided by Barnum statements. In fiction, however, Tarot is absolutely a form of magical divination! Magic is real and you're gonna get fucked over if you don't listen to what that random psychic is telling you! I read Planet Ladder, I know how this works!
I'll preface with my usual setup for six-card readings, because while there are only five cards shown in X's reading, they seem to fit into my reading structure for six, just missing the final card for reasons that make perfect sense in-context.
In order, cards in my readings of six are meant to indicate the following:
Past
Present
Future
Self
Adversary
Conclusion
Based on this structure, the cards presented in order in the preview are a pretty solid implication of backstory, and it's…rough, honestly, but also pretty clear. I doubt they'll be arranged this way when we actually reach this point in the series, but they've been presented this way to start for a reason.
With all that out of the way, let's get into X's reading! It's extremely long, so it's going under a cut. Consider yourselves warned.
New hyperfixation: completely random, possibly tragic trio with ✨vibes✨ that appears for like three second in the ending
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
I’m not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.
bf has announced it's 'kiss a dork day' and keeps kissing me in celebration but when i try to kiss HIM he holds me back and says 'no sorry I'M not a dork' and because he's bigger and stronger than me i am gaining no ground in this battle. i'm fuming
TERRIBLE NEWS woke up this morning and bf has announced it's kiss a dork day today again and showed me that he made it a reoccuring annual event on his calendar. march 13th is now my enemy
Happy March 13th to all those who celebrate
some people clearly scheduled this post to get reblogged on 13th march so the notifications helped me realise what day it was before my bf was awake so i was like hehehe this time i'll get him for sure. but no. he woke up and immediately blocked all of my attempts like fucking neo
why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain
no one tell him
in 2015 we didn’t have AI psychosis so people had to make do by believing a dress was white and gold
Because it was
Is the gold in the room with us right now?
yes. the dress is gold.
...
the dress has always been gold
r u saying this doesn't look white and gold to u???
...
what.
it's a white and gold dress in cool blue dim lighting w/ bright warm light behind it, making an optical illusion. we're not fucking doing this again
oh god fucking damn it
I know tumblr likes to exclusively make it about bloody hospitals but this is what Color Theory is about
There are other photos of the dress from the same event, in better lighting. It's blue and black. The original photo is blown out.
Also, as I recall, someone pointed out that the company only sold the dress in blue and black until this went viral. They started selling a white and gold version after this whole thing.
It's been years and I still don't understand this.
And I still see white and gold.
And I misremembered. The company didn't start producing white-and-gold copies after this went viral, they made one for charity after it went viral. They've otherwise only ever sold a black-and-blue dress.
The short of it is that, with a lot of bright yellow lighting, the photo is blown out (especially on lower-quality phone cameras), making the darker colors look lighter and yellower. AKA white and gold. But the dress was never actually white and gold. The animated gif actually shows the phenomenon pretty well, and the lighting effect on the darker dress is what was basically happening in the photo.
Me: "why don't I have the energy to write? Maybe I'm just a failure..."
The four hours of sleep and two packs of crackers that consist of all I've eaten of today:
FUCK THAT'S THE WRONG IMAGE
This post is making a lot more sense
it was meant to be this
You stop that
i used to buy into that online leftist black-and-white Glorious Revolution stuff and what i remember about my mindset at that time. stresses me out tbh. i couldn't see the viability of anything short of full-scale revolution so i constantly felt helpless. i viewed the revolution as necessary to address any and all societal problems, but i was also, privately, terrified of it. i didn't want to die for the cause, but i told myself that if that was what happened when the revolution came it would be worth it, that my blood could move us that much faster toward perfect socialist utopia.
in this mindset, the only useful thing i could do was die. i didn't want to. i wasn't generally suicidal (although i do consider this mindset a form of... abstract suicidal thought). but i believed my life was the only meaningful thing i had to offer.
now i'm a member of a community who values me and values my contributions even if i can't contribute as much as i'd like -- a community that emphasizes that every single good deed matters, every compassionate act changes the world. a community where just showing up is enough.
now i know that i can change so much more while i'm alive than i'd ever be able to as a corpse on a battlefield. i know that if i keep showing up, i will find or someone will show me a way to make a difference. i know that i am valued as more than a hypothetical martyr in some grand final battle. i know that i am missed when i'm gone. i know that the actual work is done by regular people with a goal in mind, and i know that that work is unglamorous. i know the unglamorous work is often the most meaningful and the most fulfilling.
the "revolution or nothing" mindset is rendering my generation hopeless. a very loud portion of gen z now believes the only contribution they have to offer is their life. this belief effectively nullifies a person's capacity to create meaningful change; any action they could take while alive is not worthwhile because it won't fix the world's myriad problems in one fell swoop -- better to burn it all down and yourself with it.
if they weren't actively fucking over the rest of us to feed their own suicidal hopelessness, i'd feel sorry for them.
there's a phenomenon i've observed wherein a person stews in their own misery, hopelessness, anger, fear, to the point that they can no longer fathom that something might exist outside of that, and so they reject any effort to improve their situation because they no longer believe it can be improved.
i am not blaming the people who are in this place. it's a terrifying, dark place to be in, and when you're there it really does feel like it's the only thing that exists. this is the place where people kill themselves.
i think, though, that this phenomenon, scaled up to apply to politics and activism, undergirds so much of what we see from the left now -- the world is dark and terrifying, and in the 24-hour news cycle, social media doomscrolling era we live in it's so so easy to only see the bad, and when you surround yourself with other scared, overwhelmed people, it can form a sort of 2014-tumblr-depression-tag echo chamber where that hopelessness is glorified and lauded and propped up as Correct And Enlightened.
and then they commit hate crimes about it and my sympathy shuts all the way off.
Boosting signal
I will always remember something my state-appointed psychiatrist said to me when we first met and I was giving him the run-down of my life so far, and I said "and I'm homeless right now--" and he stopped me.
'I LOVE that you just said that. That you said "right now"!' he said. 'So many of my homeless patients say they're homeless like it's their job, and that means they never see a way out of it.'
'Well,' I said, knowing the statistics. 'Most people are on the street for a year on average. It's not forever, it can't be. nothing is.'
And because I had the audacity, the boldness, to assume I was only homeless right now, I actively kept living like it was a temporary state, like I deserved housing and deserved care and deserved better than i had right now. Because it was only for right now. It wasn't forever. It couldn't be. Nothing is.
I was homeless for about a year and a half. And then I got housed. And right now I live IN a house, with good friends.
But it's only for right now. It isn't forever. It can't be. Nothing is. And whatever's coming next is going to be better! Because I have the audacity, the boldness, to assume it will be and that I deserve it.
And you do too.
But you HAVE to start thinking of misfortune as only being temporary. It's just bad right now. Practise that. "It sucks--right now" "I'm miserable--right now". Just a small thing. But it makes a big difference. It makes all the difference.
Because if you always put "right now" at the end, no matter how miserable you get, you have left a little crack.
And that's how the light gets in.
Photography @bonesonmyface
Cosplay & drawing: me
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aren't you afraid of becoming a demon?
Fake Lloyd. Why would you…
can you hear me, achilles?
been gone for a while here... i was on the grind for school, but i've used that to my advantage to make a YC edit for my classical reception writing seminar's final project hehe ^^
leitmotifs never get old to me like holy shit dude there’s this melody that corresponds to this one guy and if you hear the melody it means the guy is there. holy shit. and sometimes it refers to ideas too not just guys. has anyone heard about this
Sometimes something fucked up happens to the guy and their melody gets fucked up too. Sometimes the thing that fucked them up also has its own melody and when the first melody gets fucked up the second melody gets mixed in
no fucking way dude. are you serious
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