Archer’s backstory retold, and much better! :D

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Archer’s backstory retold, and much better! :D
I wrote a comic about Internet Explorer #17
Check out my latest animation! The full version is on the way, but for now... here's the sneak peak! :) Please share this with your friends!
Deflate when writing prose; inflate when writing essays for school.
As per request I made some super cute Trolls inspired rings! I only did about half since I can only post 10 pictures at a time anyway. See part 2 here
What do you think?
Any requests?
These are all so gorgeous I want themmmm alllllllll
Touch.
You know, probably my favorite part of the movie Hercules, besides all of the horridly inaccurate mythology and fun gospel music, is that Hercules was already super strong and didn’t need to work out. Phil just made him work out for the Hero Aesthetic™
Skinny arms don’t cut it, kid.
Only big arms will get you an action figure.
Never mind that you’ve been lifting houses since you were a toddler.
Phil knew hercules needed to be thicc
See, you understand.
Sorry straight people Batman is confirmed gay
Bi A lesbian Trans Mmm gay A very queer bat Not straight
Rainbow Batman Masterpost anyone?
It got better!
otp asks
For the Fluff:
1. What are things they both find funny? 2. If they could each describe each other in one sentence, what would it be? 3. If they complimented each other, what would they say? 4. What would be their ship name? 5. What activities do they enjoy together? 6. What is/are their love language(s)? 7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them. 8. What were their first impressions of each other?
For the Angst:
9. Have they made each other cry? 10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them. 11. What causes them to fight? 12. Do they have differing political opinions? 13. Name something they would never do for the other person. 14. What would be a dealbreaker? 15. What are traits they dislike in one another? 16. If they broke up, what would be their opinions of each other?
For the Depth:
17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other? 18. What would be their love motto? 19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be? 20. What is a promise they have made to each other? 21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse? 22. If their lives were what was originally intended at birth, would they have still fallen in love? 23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language. 24. What is something they have each had to forgive the other for?
For the Dirty:
25. What moves do they know work on the other? 26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex? 27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share? 28. Write a ~300 fantasy one of them has about the other. 29. What are each of their signature foreplay moves? 30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them. 31. What do they love to do after sex? 32. Do they enjoy morning or night sex?
For the Confessions of a Bully OTP: Bullyshipping (Paul/Jimmy) For the Fluff:
1. What are things they both find funny? Paul and Jimmy find it funny to watch someone fail or suffer in small ways, like if a nerd stumbles and drops all his books on the ground or if someone trips and falls, etc. They will both laugh at this humiliation.
2. If they could each describe each other in one sentence, what would it be?Paul: Jimmy is a sexy football player, and he loves it when I ride him. Jimmy: Paul is a really girly guy, and he plays guitar like a goddess.
3. If they complimented each other, what would they say? Paul: Your muscles are really sexy today. Jimmy: Your dick is really sexy today. Paul: *Smirk*
4. What would be their ship name? Bullyshipping, mostly because they were once bully and victim to become lovers. Plus, I am uncreative as fuck. 5. What activities do they enjoy together? Besides sex, they mostly enjoy just being together. Cuddling on the couch and watching a movie is considered perfectly fine for them. The simple shit makes them the happiest. 6. What is/are their love language(s)? Not sure I understand this question very well. 7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them. TBA 8. What were their first impressions of each other? Paul: Oh my god, he has big muscles. Holy shit, he’s an asshole, though. Jimmy: He’s fucking hot! Why do I think he’s hot?! (Closeted gay moment)
For the Angst:
9. Have they made each other cry? Yes. Jimmy made Paul cry many of times because of bullying. Jimmy cries in private because of hurting Paul. 10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them. TBA 11. What causes them to fight? Sex. Bullying. 12. Do they have differing political opinions? Not really. They both sort of have the same political views. For example, in America, to put it simply, they would be calling themselves democrats. 13. Name something they would never do for the other person. Jimmy would never do something for Paul that encourages him to be lazy. Paul would never be active physically for Jimmy. Paul hates being physical and is actually on the lazy side. 14. What would be a dealbreaker? Jimmy would probably do it if it means he can get fucks. Paul would do it for sex and chocolate. 15. What are traits they dislike in one another? Jimmy hates how lazy and bitchy Paul can be. Paul hates how mean Jimmy can be to others and how he will physically hurt others without much thought. 16. If they broke up, what would be their opinions of each other? So, SPOILERS: They actually do break up at one point. They would be very pissed off and hate each other for stupid reasons and blame the other for it. They would basically be back to bully vs victim, and their roles may change depending on the argument.
For the Depth:
17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other? The smell of cherry blossoms reminds Jimmy of Paul because Paul wears cherry blossom scented shampoo. Also, expensive perfume. Paul thinks of Jimmy with the smell of sweat and smelly gym shorts. 18. What would be their love motto? Not sure of a motto, but they sure do revolve alot around sex, despite having a strong bond. WAIT! I’mma steal a 50% Off quote: “They hate each other, but they also FUCK each other!” 19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be? Jimmy: I love you to death. Paul: I love you, and I will support you just as you have supported me, and I swear we will be together until death do us part. 20. What is a promise they have made to each other? Not to kill each other. Literally. 21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse? They have changed for the better. Paul is a nicer person after becoming lovers with Jimmy, and he has made Jimmy become a nicer person as well. 22. If their lives were what was originally intended at birth, would they have still fallen in love? Probably not. I don’t think they would have crossed paths even. Jimmy would have been in America with a happy life that wouldn’t have made him the person he is. Paul... well, he is what he is, and since Jimmy isn’t in his life, they never meet. They never fuck. They never fall in love. 23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language. TBA 24. What is something they have each had to forgive the other for? This question is worded funny... but if I understand it... Paul had to forgive Jimmy for hurting him. Jimmy had to forgive Paul for being a bitch.
For the Dirty:
25. What moves do they know work on the other? Paul knows cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and shuttle works on Jimmy, and he enjoys receiving from Jimmy doggy style, iris, boat, oath, and flatiron. Jimmy knows Paul enjoys eagle, missionary, harmony, and doggy style, and he enjoys receiving from Paul cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, amazon, and lap dance. 26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex? Paul just loves the thrill of orgasms. Jimmy loves the orgasms too, but more-so likes to watch Paul orgasm. 27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share? They both share the following fetishes/kinks: Agoraphilia, Anal sex, Barebacking, Clothed sex (endytophilia), Degradation, Dirty talking, Exhibitionism, Face fucking, Frotting, Internal cumshots, Mess fetish (hygrophilia), Odaxelagnia, Rimming, Spanking, Teasing (Tantalolagnia), and Telephonicophilia.
28. Write a ~300 fantasy one of them has about the other. TBA 31. What do they love to do after sex? Fall asleep in each other’s arms. 32. Do they enjoy morning or night sex? Both? More night into morning, I guess. They can fuck for hours.
More original character model sheets. This is my schizophrenic character, Uchikina “Uchi” Kibo Doki. He is a special baby, and I love him. I’m going to be using him for a stop motion animation. It’s going to be good.
@rat2rrj
nakedsasquatch it’s ya man
Okay but seriously folks - as often as I joke about this movie stirs my loins and as weirdly popular as this text post got a while back, I wanna rap with you all about why the George of the Jungle remake is a pretty important piece of cinema.
It’s literally the only movie I can think of that is based completely around the unheard of “FEMALE gaze.” Granted, while I’m a huge movie buff I’ve not seen every movie ever made. But even so, even if there’s another example of the “female gaze” in cinema that has escaped me it’s still damn impressive that a kids movie from 1997 based on a Jay Ward cartoon from the 60’s managed to turn gender representation in media on it’s fucking ass!
First things first, let’s look at our leading lady and love interest - Ursula, played by Leslie Mann.
Let me just say that while Leslie Mann is adorable and a talented actress, she does look a little less conventional and a little more plain compared to the bombshells that Hollywood likes to churn out. Leslie, in comparison, looks much more like a real women you’d meet on the street. She dresses pretty conservatively and plain throughout the film ; Wearing outfits that are more functional than fashionable for trekking through the jungle, pulling her hair back and so forth. Not that if she was dolled up and more scantily clad it would give her character any less integrity, but can we appreciate how RARE that is in the male dominated industry of film? Just think about all the roads a film about a woman in the jungle COULD have taken but didn’t - no scenes with her clothes strategically ripped or anything! You can say this is a kids movie, intended for children and that’s why the sensuality of the female lead is so downplayed but there are PLENTY of kids movies that handle women in a very objectifying and sexualized manner despite the target audience is pre-pubescent. Like, a disgusting amount. So I don’t think “it’s a kids movie” is why the film doesn’t take ANY, let alone EVERY, opportunity to showcase the main female character’s sex appeal…
…especially considering the sex appeal of the film rests squarely on the well defined shoulders of our male lead, George of the Jungle played by Brendan Fraser in the best god damn shape of his life!
*Homer Simpson Drooling Noises*
Whenever members of the reddit community try to compare the sexualization of women in fiction to the design of characters such as Batman and Superman, I always want to just sit them down and show them this movie. Because THIS is what the female sexual fantasy looks like, and Batman and Superman are male power-fantasies. Look at him - his big blue eyes, his soft hair, his lean, chiseled physique built for dexterity rather than power. He’s wild and free, but gentle. It’s like he fell right out of that steamy romance novel your mom tried to hide from you growing up.
Hell, the whole plot seems to be designed around how damn hot he is! First, for the majority of the film, he wears only a small strip of cloth to cover the dick balls and ass. Everything else is FAIR GAME to drool over for 40 minutes. Then, after he meets Ursula she takes him with her to San Francisco just so we can enjoy him in a well-tailored suit (as seen in the gif set), running around in an open and billowy shirt along side horses while Ursula and all of her friends literally crowd around and make sexual comments about him, and my personal favorite, ditch the loincloth entirely and have him walk around naked while covering his man-bits with various objects while one of Ursula’s very lucky friends oogles him and makes a joke along the lines of “So THAT’S why they call him the ‘KING of the Jungle’…”
And yes, it’s also a very cute and funny little movie. Out of all the movies based on Jay Ward cartoons, it was the most faithful to the fast-paced humor and wit of the original source material (yes even the new Peabody and Sherman movie which honestly I thought was too cutesy-poo.) But that’s not why this movie is popular with the gay community or why we all became women in 1997. It’s just really cool that there’s a film out there where the sensuality of the female form takes a back seat for the oiled up, chiseled, physique of Brendan Fraser (in his prime that is)
One thing to add: in the scene mentioned above where the ladies are watching him in the billowy shirt running with the horses, it pans back to about 50 feet away to two guys in suits at this party looking at the women and one of the guys says, “Man, what is it with women and horses?” So not only does this movie highlight the female gaze, but it blatantly points out that western male sensibilities don’t have a clue what actually appeals to women.
ALSO
he’s non threatening
as mentioned above, he looks built for dexterity rather than power, but he’s still a 6+ foot tall extremely muscular man, and not once are you worried for Ursula when he’s with her
ALSO
let’s take a look at his rival - Lyle is a cravat-wearing trust-fund kid (who, interestingly, is into Ursula’s fortune more than her, which kind of makes this a gender-swapped gold-digger thing too). He’s blonde and Ursula’s mom LOVES him. He’s more uncomfortable and less prepared to cope with the jungle than Ursula is, in his pastels and shiny shoes.
But he talks over Ursula, insists he knows what’s best for her, ignores her autonomy. In spite of the fact that Lyle Van de Groot is a rich, educated, social climber who cares deeply about his clothing and appearances he is a point-by-point checklist of unhealthy masculinity in a way that beefy, inarticulate, uneducated George could never be. Ursula is off on her own doing her own thing and Lyle hires two FUCKING POACHERS to track her down in the middle of the jungle while she’s working (or on vacation? It’s never made clear because he interrupts her before she can explain why she went on the expedition). Lyle ignores the local guides, claiming his experience with a bridge in Maui means the bridge they’re on is safe - which leads to a significant injury for one of the guides. He then tells Ursula the guides are conspiring against him, trying to make himself and his poachers seem safe and the Africans who make up the rest of their party seem dangerous.
Check that body language! A post above points out that we’re never worried about Ursula when she’s around George. That’s because Lyle talks to her like this. Look at his aggressive lean! Look at him literally looking down at her! She’s tilted away from him in the least threatening position possible and he’s so aggressive about whatever point he’s making. When he finds her after he pushed her toward a damned lion he kisses her and she pushes him away. Want a textbook example of gaslighting? Here you go: she says “don’t get all smoochy with me! I remember what happened with that lion” and he responds “What are you talking about? I was fighting that lion the whole time - you were just so terrified you don’t remember.” Then he shoots George! And then he kidnaps Ursula and attempts to force her into marriage!
Now look at how George and Ursula interact (slightly NSFW):
Even though he’s a big strong dude and he thinks he’s doing what’s okay he lets her set the tone for their interactions. He accepts that he’s out of his wheelhouse and even if he doesn’t understand it he does what she says is culturally appropriate. He learns from her! He listens to her! Compare Lyle leaning into Ursula above to this image of George and Ursula talking:
He’s listening to her, all of his attention is on on her, but he’s totally nonthreatening. His torso is turned toward her but he’s not invading her space, his hands are clasped, he’s smiling, and she’s the one leaning into him. Look at that smile she has, look how happy she is to be listened to. Her posture in both images is vulnerable but in this one with George she’s vulnerable because she has chosen to share with him instead of because she feels threatened.
When George rescues Ursula from Lyle at the end of the film it isn’t a typical damsel situation - George doesn’t have a knock-down-drag-out fight with Lyle, he swings into a tree and offers Ursula a hand so she can reach up and save herself (and before he does it he acknowledges how much it’s going to hurt and *whimpers* and looks human and scared). And you’ve gotta remember that George rescues everybody. It’s not just Ursula - he also rescues a parasailer and gets shot rescuing Shep and Ape. He just likes helping, dammit!
AND this movie offers a perfect counter to the “nice guy” thing - Ursula starts engaged to a jerk who her mom thinks is a “nice guy” the moves on to actual nice man George who isn’t *just* nice - he’s also patient, listens to her, has his own skills and talents, is okay with being goofy, has his own social circle and isn’t totally dependent on Ursula, and looks amazing. Ursula doesn’t go with George just because he’s a *nice* guy who rescued her from an asshole, Ursula goes with George because he’s an interesting, fun person who is supportive of her different way of being an interesting, fun person. AND he’s emotionally available. Google image search George of the jungle and see how many smiles you can find, see how many open looks of confusion there are, see how much sadness you can see in George’s face. Now look for images of Lyle. His two expressions are a smirk and cartoonish fear. I know this is a cartoonish kid’s movie, but it is SO powerful that the hero shares his emotions while the villain masks every emotion but fear. Lyle doesn’t want to open up, he doesn’t want to be vulnerable, he wants CONTROL. George wants to learn, to protect people he cares about, to explore new places, to laugh when he’s happy and to be sad when he’s sad, and that he does that while being a broad-shouldered, physically powerful dude who is NOT totally self-involved is just…
Like, look, I didn’t sign on to tumblr dot com for George of the Jungle discourse, but I’m just now realizing that this movie may have done the most for destroying my conception of stoic masculinity and gender roles as a child.
Like
Damn.
2nd reblog because this is even better.
George of the Jungle discourse is definitely what I signed up to this hellsite for me thinks
This is my favorite post on this entire website everybody can go home now
See what your followers think of you.
BLACK = I would date you.
GREEN = I think you’re cute.
BLUE = You are my tumblr crush.
GREY = I wish you would notice me.
PURPLE = I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.
TEAL = We have a lot in common.
YELLOW = I don’t know you at all.
ORANGE = I don’t like your blog.
BROWN = I don’t like you.
PINK = I think you are unattractive.
RED = I hate you with a burning passion.
WHITE = You scare me.
RAINBOW = BED PLZ.
SCARLET = You have influenced my decision/thoughts on something.
MAROON = You taught me something new.
CINNAMON = You’re a really cool person and admire you from afar.
PERIWINKLE = You make me laugh
MAUVE = You are really talented
BLUSH = Seeing you on my dash makes my day a little better.
CYAN = We have very little in common
THISTLE = I only just started following you
INDIGO = I’ve been following you for a long time
FUCHSIA = Your blog content is gold
COPPER = Your blog content is trash (and I love it)
VERMILION = You make me feel passionate
HONEYDEW = I want to call you by a nickname
LAVENDER = You inspire me
CORAL = You’re a meme
UMBER = I want to know more about you
FORGET-ME-NOT = You remind me of somebody
RAZZMATAZZ = I would share my favorite food with you
ARSENIC = I don’t know how to describe the way I feel about you
WINE = You make me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class
SAFFRON = I love your ideas
TIMBERWOLF = I trust you
FALLOW = I want to run through the Northern wilderness barefoot with you
PLUM = I’d like to chat with you
TANGERINE = I love your aesthetic
SAGE = You make me cry
CRIMSON = We should collaborate on something!
VIRIDIAN = I wanna hang out on your blog
CHARTREUSE = You’re my homie
BURGUNDY = I get excited when I see posts from you
@elaynab-writing : Scarlet, Maroon, Cinnamon, Periwinkle, Mauve, Lavender, Saffron, Timberwolf, Crimson
Oh. My. Fucking. God!!!!!!!!
Finally!! About bloody time! 😄😄😄😄
Let’s be honest, this is all of us
You’re goddamned right.
This is a stopmotion animation I did with my sister @ayopro69. I feel so proud of my oc Danny. He made his first steps, consumed food, and went off on his own. He grew up so fast.
I may add sound to this later.