BlueWyrm

Please don't ask for consistency

[azurewyvern]

I know I have no followers on here but while I'm screaming into the void I figure I might as well include the fanfic I'm writing. It's a blatantly unoriginal and self-indulgent piece about an extremely tired college student who got isekaied into The Hobbit and is very stressed and confused about this. I make no promises that it is canon compliant or consistent in any way, but I'm having fun writing it so if that sounds like your thing go ahead and read it.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[homunculus-argument]

The important part of making horrible kitchen concotions is to give them properly horrid names. I have discovered a new dish: The Blended Devil.

It's like deviled eggs, but instead of taking the yolks out of the eggs, you just mash the entire boiled eggs into mush with a fork and mix the rest of the ingredients in there. Eaten from a bowl, with a fork or a spoon depending on the consistency. Or go at it labrador style with your face down in the bowl if you're like that. Not up to me.

[thenotme]

That already has a name. It's called egg salad T-T

[homunculus-argument]

How is a concotion of eggs, mayo, mustard, and seasonings to taste a salad? It contains zero leafy green or vegetable.

[what-even-is-thiss]

A salad can just be a chopped mix of things. That’s egg salad alright. I put it on sandwiches. You can also put pickle relish and/or chopped onion in it.

[homunculus-argument]

If we go by the definition that any chopped mess of random bullshit counts as a salad, then I guess I'm a salad.

[azurewyvern]

@onedaisy1000 :)

[drakedadragon]

@onedaisy1000 :))

[onedaisy1000]

@azurewyvern @drakedadragon I'm going to FUCKING turn myself into a salad

[azurewyvern]

Chicken salad exists. Therefore, meat-based salads are valid. Conclusion: you can in fact turn yourself into a salad.

[byjove]

One of the most fucked up parts of America’s for-profit medical system and insurance often being tied to your work is that you cannot work if you are sick and if you are not working, you have no insurance. People are fired in the middle of cancer treatment or a severe mental health episode and suddenly there is no way to pay the hospital and buy the medicine you need. Republicans will outright say “You don’t deserve free healthcare if you’re lazy and unemployed.” anytime someone mentions this, actively ignoring the fact that you often cannot work when you are sick and shouldn’t be forced to work when you’re sick to be able to afford to get better.

[galactic-dragoness]

[loszeged]

[queer-as-city-folk]

Anti-city people are just plain fascinating to me

[theslowesthnery]

ah yes my favourite trope

[olderthannetfic]

No, no, and NO.

AO3 does not live in “the cloud” because that is other people’s computers, and other people’s computers are vulnerable to censorship.

AO3 is on its own computers. It does still have to be housed somewhere, and I suppose a determined enough hater could try to find that place and go after it, but it’s a lot harder than sending spurious complaints to Amazon or whomever going “BadWrong things are hosted on your cloud service!”

Owning the servers is a core tenet of OTW/AO3.

[zz9pzza]

Warming up a new database server….

[elfwreck]

When people involved with AO3 talk about “the cost of servers” they don’t mean “the cost to pay Amazon for space on their servers.” They mean, like, the cost to physically own them, and eventually replace them with new ones. And the operating costs to run them.

AO3 is not “in the cloud.” AO3 is stored on physical machines that the OTW owns.

While this is not a solution that can work for everyone who wants to deal with controversial content, it is why AO3ple sneer at alt-righters who complain about getting thrown off hosting platforms.

[crowns-of-violets-and-roses]

I Want Us to Own the Goddamned Servers

Because I want us to own the goddamned servers, ok? Because I want a place where we can’t be TOSed and where no one can turn the lights off or try to dictate to us what kind of stories we can tell each other.

[lierdumoa]

AO3 is what a website looks like when you seize the means of production.

[homunculus-argument]

The important part of making horrible kitchen concotions is to give them properly horrid names. I have discovered a new dish: The Blended Devil.

It's like deviled eggs, but instead of taking the yolks out of the eggs, you just mash the entire boiled eggs into mush with a fork and mix the rest of the ingredients in there. Eaten from a bowl, with a fork or a spoon depending on the consistency. Or go at it labrador style with your face down in the bowl if you're like that. Not up to me.

[thenotme]

That already has a name. It's called egg salad T-T

[homunculus-argument]

How is a concotion of eggs, mayo, mustard, and seasonings to taste a salad? It contains zero leafy green or vegetable.

[what-even-is-thiss]

A salad can just be a chopped mix of things. That’s egg salad alright. I put it on sandwiches. You can also put pickle relish and/or chopped onion in it.

[homunculus-argument]

If we go by the definition that any chopped mess of random bullshit counts as a salad, then I guess I'm a salad.

[azurewyvern]

@onedaisy1000 :)

[pointnclick]

"we live in an uncaring universe." sorry the special planet full of beauty and animals and food literally growing out of the ground isnt good enough for you. i guess

[ouroborosorder]

”there’s no glory in suffering” and “sometimes the effort is the point” are two ideas that co-exist but god damn if I can ever tell when’s the time for which

[i-point-at-things]

👇👇👇

[puppygirllaika]

so. i just learned that my entirely me-written resume flags as being AI-written by automated HR systems for a few writing quirks and the fact that i followed all the rules of good resume writing, which is apparently a telltale sign of AI use in this fucking hellworld. i've been desperately applying to jobs that i am massively overqualified for for months with no response, not even an interview, and now i find out that at least part of the reason is because some fucking moron decided that following the rules every career advisor has given me for a decade means i cheated and should be disqualified. the ai bubble cannot pop soon enough. what the actual fuck.

[puppygirllaika]

"frequent use of action-result sentences. bullet points all start with action verbs. no career gaps." girl what the fuck are you talking about. that's just resume writing advice being followed. i just did what i was told. it's a fucking resume. you're supposed to do all that stuff. what the fuck do you mean it looks ai generated and wouldn't pass basic detection systems?????????? for following the resume writing rules????????????

[puppygirllaika]

wishing every AI bro and ceo a very [REDACTED]

[fucxingcuties]

[cerastes]

So how is it that second-hand embarrassment is the single most powerful and weakening emotion one can feel from media?

Tragedy? Delicious.

A hard-earned happy ending? Wonderful.

A convoluted narrative? Keeps you glued.

Simple slice of life? It’s entertaining.

Second-hand embarrassment? Hang on, g, I gotta pause this for fifteen minutes, no, I cannot continue watching this right now, I am just not strong enough.

[comradeclodius]

Very bold of us all to assume Gandalf has a gender and adheres to the modern gender binary

[curse-you]

pippin at 3am: pretty fucked up that we assume gandalf is a man. they’re a maia. merry? wake up merry. listen. they’re sexless.

[teaboot]

gandalf at 3am: I identify as Tired, peregrin took

[byjove]

things not to say when someone tells you they’re having a baby, from a transgender autistic guy named Algernon who has experienced a lot of trial and error:

Why? I know this is the question you want to ask. You are not allowed to ask it. I’m not sure why it’s frowned upon but you can’t.

You should name it after me. Not funny. No one laughs. A selfish statement that takes the attention off the pregnant party and shifts it to you. This joke is a flop, save it for the next pet they get.

Is it mine? It’s not mine. I have no testicles. If there is a possibility it is yours, they’ll tell you. Probably. No one wants an interrogation in this moment.

[meganjoannamadeline]

my dear legend Algernon, just "Why?" is actually hilarious and i promise it will be used

[philosoverted-deactivated202006]

Do you ever lie awake wondering how the heck Gimli knows what a nervous system is

[systlin]

Clearly dwarves have medical knowledge far more advanced than that of the other races.

[gallusrostromegalus]

His Majesty Dr. Gimli, son of Gloin, Neurosurgeon, M.D.

[filthyprotozoan]

gimli trying to explain his studies to legolas, a flat-earther

[hubris-i]

#*scroll down* #*remember that middle earth is canonically flat for elves and round for everyone else* #*scroll back up & smash that reblog button"

[fridge246]

tired: legolas took gimli to valinor with him because they were bffs/in love/etc. 

wired: legolas took gimli to valinor to prove the world was flat after arguing with him about it for decades

[jemthecrystalgem]

Sorry it’s what to elves

[dvandom]

So, in Tolkein lore, the world was originally flat, with most of the land in the middle (hence Middle Earth).  But the Numenorians (men who were rewarded with their own Atlantis-equivalent island for service in the first big war against Melkor, but eventually Power Corrupts etc) tried to invade the uttermost west which was basically Elf Heaven.  To put an end to that sort of thing, the creator of the world Bent The World and made it a sphere…but left elves able to treat it like a flat disk.  So elves can sail west and reach Elf Heaven, but a man or dwarf or hobbit who sails west will eventually wrap around to the east coast of Middle Earth.

[moomoobooboo-deactivated2020102]

This is why Legolas can see for such great, almost impossible distances. The Earth does not curve for him.

[endreal]

Legolas said fuck the horizon

[03josten]

i mean this from the bottom of my heart: no one is impressed by your loud ass car. actually we talked about it and we all want you dead.