hi, im jackass, welcome to raab himself

JACKASS FAN PAGE . RED FLAG ! RED FLAG ! only writes for afab unless requested otherwise !! sorry sorry !!

[b0nerf4rt]

love languages !

including : steveo , ryan dunn , bam margera , chris pontius

wanrings : afab! , swearing

steve o :

- 100% touch

- hes constantly touching you anywhere and everwhere

- holding your hand or his fingers settled in the back pocket of your jeans

- expect to always have him in your personal bubble

- he was relentless during the gumball rally, constanly cuddling up to you and passing out

- will fall asleep on top of you, and hes pretty heavy

- likes when you run your fingernails against his scalp and back

- literally just a dog wanting to be constantly pet

- loves when you initiate touching him first

- will completely melt if you initiate anything physical

- when hes under the influence hes 100 times worse

- will literally throw himself at you and constantly ask for kisses

- loves pda

- obsessed with showing people that your his

- makes little happy noises when you touch him, like a cat purring kind of

bam :

- backhanded complements / play fighting

- lets face it, he probably doesnt know how to show love properly

- and he doesnt give the best compliments to begin with

- dont be upset if he says something mean to you, its the way he expresses his feelings towards you

- "man y/n, did you gain some weight, your ass looks great"

- expect to be tackled or tossed around whenever

- constantly trying to fight you

- will box your shoulder or thighs

- when you get upset about his comments, he'll play it off like he was joking, and he will laugh at you if you cry

- so dont cry in front of him

- if you feel like crying kick him in the nuts and run girl

- he'll find you later when your hopefully done crying and try to make things better

- by fighting with you

- "c'mon y/n, punch me, get all that saddness and anger out."

- if you dont want to punch him he'll probably complement insult you to make you feel better

- "youre honestly an ugly cryer but your face is pretty with tear stains"

- it doesnt work, just avoid him until hes out of his "complimenting" mood

ryan :

- buying you expensive stuff

- wont take no for an answer

- hes literally ready to go into debt for you

- when your stunts go wrong hes the first to offer to pay for your hospital bills

- if you ask him to buy you tampons / pads he wont even question it

- will go bra and underwear / clothes shopping with you and he will pay for everything you pick out

- you want a new video game thats just come out and its really expensive ? you dont even have to ask he already bought it for you

- one time he bought you a snake but you made him return it because he didnt buy a cage or anything

- dont let him out of your sight when you bring him anywhere, he'll meander off and buy you shit

- hes the sugar daddy type but he doesnt know that until you point it out

- but he doesnt deny it

- says that your kisses and company is enough repayment

- somehow he always has money in his wallet

- like you know that hes a movie star but sometimes you wonder if hes more than that

- "ryan, are you selling your body?"

- he looks at you like your crazy everytime you ask that

- but its a valid question

chris :

- spending time with you

- will follow you around constantly

- if your going grocery shopping, hes coming too. going to visit your parents ? hes on his way.

- will follow you into the bathroom whenever, you need to shit ? he'll sit inside the bathroom with you. taking a shower ? so is he.

- dont expect a single amount of alone time with this guy around

- sneaks up on you constantly

- he kind of stalked you when you guys werent a thing

- but he never admitted that

- the other guys tell you that he used to follow you home to make sure that you made it safe, but he denys it everytime they bring it up

- and that he used to threaten other guys that hit on you, but he denys that too

- honestly hes become so reliant on following you sometimes he doesnt even pay attention to where your going

- hes the type of person everyone wants to br around, so when he started to follow you around you didnt mind

- but one time he accidentally followed you into the ladys bathroom and he got yelled at by a bunch of women

- you cackled about it but he said it was for a 'stunt' so that he didnt look so stupid

- after that he asked you where you were going instead of randomly following you

- likes to do stunts with you

- if your going somewhere and you tell him to stay put, he'll watch you the entire time, he says he just likes to look at your ass without you knowing

[b0nerf4rt]

FUCK BUDDIES !

what being fuck buddies with the cky crew would be like

dico, raab, bam, ryan, rake, novak

dico :

- poor innocent boy

- 100% would get down on his hands and knees and beg you to suck him off before any stunt he has to preform

- youve got him wrapped around you little finger and he doesnt even know it

- would do anything for you even if it didnt end in you two having sex

- lol hes lowkey in love with you but he doesnt even realize

- his heart gets crushed whenever he sees you flirting with another guy

- is never seen away from you, not that you mind

- he definitely gets too attached for it to be just a strict business relationship

- worships your body and the ground you walk on

- would kiss your feet if you asked him too

- into anything that your into, unless your trying to peg him, he doesnt like that.

- likes after sex cuddling

- not much into foreplay

- likes when you give him hickeys on his neck

raab :

- here for himself rather than you

- would use you for your body but hed buy you gifts in return cuz he feels kind of guilty

- he likes you as a friend and thats it, but when you offered to fuck him for a carton of cigs, he couldnt say no

- desperate times call for desperate measures, yknow what they say

- you thought it was going to be a one time thing, but when he came knocking on your door after you got done preforming a stunt with a carton of cigarettes held in his hand, you knew hed always be coming back for more

- and you couldnt complain, he wasnt half bad when you werent sucking him off

- hes got nice long fingers that pound inside you after you get done sucking him off

- usually it doesnt escalate to dick in vagina, but rather dick in mouth and fingers in vagina

- hed call you his good little girl after you swallow his load while wiping the extra that smeared around your mouth

- ignores you in public 😭

- but definitely does lowkey check you out when your not looking

- the 'i love you' type during the night and the 'who are you' during the morning

- lowkey gets worried when you get hurt after you preform a stunt

bam :

- literally the perfect person to be fuck buddies with

- definition of no strings attatched and no attachments

- though he does get protective of you when you try to fuck anyone else

- 'i just want to make sure you dont get any std's and give them to me 🙄'

- his favorite position is reverse cowgirl

- watching your ass jiggle as he helps you keep a steady rhythm by clenching your hips turns him on so fucking much

- bonus points if its infront of a mirror so he can see your front too

- teases you when you two arent fucking

- slaps your ass both in and out of the bedroom

- puts you into headlocks for fun

- leaves you alone after hes finished fucking you, sometimes he blueballs you too.

ryan :

- oh sweet angel face dunn

- the most submissive man in the bedroom

- does whatever you tell him too

- also a strings attached kind of guy

- there was an episode of cky where it was scripted that dico was to steal you away from ryan, and you shouldve seen his poor little sad face

- his beard will tickle your asscheeks when hes eating out your pussy.

- so if you dont like that you better tell him to not do that or tell him to shave 😔

- its a lose lose situation

- likes to suck you tits for funsies

- i feel like he has some unresolved mommy issues

- so if you like being called mommy get ready

rake :

- literally a fucking god with his long ass tongue

- pull his hair when hes giving you head, and he'll be at your mercy

- makes out with you directly after eating you out

- strong on constant pda outside of the bedroom, holding your hand or waist, a hand in your back jean pocket, ect.

- doesnt mind if you fuck someone else, but likes to call you his at the end of the night

- expect to be completely marked up by the time he finishes

- bleeding bite marks and hickeys all over your body, mostly you neck and thighs, sometimes your asscheeks

- red stinging hand prints on your ass and hips

- likes to make you cry from pleasure and pain at the same time

- says your extra pretty when you cry

- aftercare king right here

- expect lots of kisses afterwards from this compationate man

novak :

- honestly really just wants to pleasure you before himself

- likes watching you writher beneath his fingers or tongue

- his favorite thing is having you sit on his face.

- jerk him off while you sit on his face, bro that gets his back arching and everything

- open to literally anything, especially threesomes

- "if we have a threesome, it can only be a guy, novak,"

- "whys that?"

- "cuz id get jealous of the other girl getting more attention,"

- "your just a greedy little attention whore, huh,"

- that conversation definitely ended in shamless kitchen sex

- has an entire sex playlist he listens to when fucking you

- likes to 69 😸

[b0nerf4rt]

BUNK BUDDIES pt1 !

what its like to share a bed w/ the cky crew. platonically ofc 😋. jk.

warnings : swearing, afab!reader

dico, raab, rake, novak, bam, ryan

WARNING : swearing , afab!reader , really bad my b my b

dico :

- forces you to sleep on the floor with him if theres not enough beds left in the hotel room

- cuddles you without asking

- hes very touchy when hes tired

- likes to sleep w his head between your tits 🫢

- out of everyone on this list, hes probably the best to sleep with if you want to actually get rest

- curls up in a ball before he falls asleep, or he cuddles you like your a stuffed animal, and he doesn't let go until he wakes up

- likes to be that small spoon

- will wake you up if he can't sleep and talk about like tomatoes or something

- likes to mess around with your hair

- in the morning, he forces you to get up with him and go down to get breakfast

- will literally jump on you or the bed until you agree to go get breakfast with him

- for some reason he gets like frost bite cold at night

- he like completely latches onto you during the night so he can stay warm

raab :

- dont tell me this man wouldnt fucking snore right in your ear the entire night

- like completely on purpose

- hed situate himself with his wide open mouth that could catch flies as close to your ear as possible

- sometimes he sleeps in the hotel closets and he makes you sleep in there with him. no one knows why he sleeps in the closest.

- i lowkey feel like he brings a stuffed bear with him to the different hotels he stays at, but he keeps it hidden so the other guys dont mess with it

- your the only one who knows about his bear, it's name is reggie

- devious little man made it his mission to make it hard for you to sleep

- from the snoring to him farting in your face when your not paying attention

- but in the morning he brings you coffee and breakfast from the hotel dining room to make up for it

- refuses to let the other guys prank you while you sleep, only he can do that 👿

- tickles you just for funnsies

- turns the tv up to the loudest setting just to listen to the cops theme song, which annoys everyone in the room

- draws on your face with sharpie if you fall asleep before him, and ofc you do the same to him

rake :

- 100% ends up hogging the entire bed and youd wake up with him literally suffocating you because hes laying completely on top of you

- expect to find his hair strands in the most fucking weirdest places

- yknow when you get that one hair you find in your asshole in the shower, yeah, thats rakes

- yawns in his sleep ??

- i also feel like sometimes he falls alseep with his eyes open

- hes like a fucking heater during the night, and it doesnt help that he basically uses you as a mattress

- not much of a cuddler when he sleeps, but he does hog up the entire bed and the blankets

- youd probably fall asleep back to back and wake up with him sprawled completely over you

- he laughs about it when he wakes up, but in all honesty he couldve killed you by suffocation

- and you cant even wake him up when he does this because he sleeps like a fucking log

- sleep walks sometimes, so you have that to look forward to ig

- when he sleep walks he mostly just goes to the kitchen to sleep eat 🧍‍♀️

- one time you took fifty dollars from his wallet while he was asleep and he didnt even notice until the next night, you told him he left it at the hotel until he saw you buying like ten large pizzas for yourself

- after that he slept with his wallet in the pocket of his pajama pants

- sleeps with his socks on 🤮

- hes a fucking diva when hes tired.

novak :

- i feel like he sleeps with sunglasses on. idk why. but you find it fucking weird.

- likes to spoon you. gives you kisses on the back of your neck when he thinks your asleep

- all in friendly fun tho 😸

- makes you check for bed bugs before he even touches the mattress 💀

- he talks in his sleep a lot, like full sentences

- hates it when you touch him with your cold fingers

- late night make our sessions if your up to it

- the other guys in the room dont appreciate it tho

- still all fun and games he says 😸

- scratches your back if you ask for it

- you'll have to slap him sometimes because hes got wandering sleep hands

- doesnt wear pajamas and just sleeps in whatever he was wearing that day

- hogs all the pillows by 'accident'

- sometimes he strangles you in his sleep, also by 'accident'

- purposefully coughs or sneezes on you cuz he thinks its hilarious

- suprisingly not a very heavy sleeper

- very inconsiderate about letting you get to sleep or staying asleep 😒

bam :

- he totally sleeps naked and just becuase your a girl and sharing a bed with him doesnt mean hes going to change that

- hes either naked or falls asleep in his tight jeans

- expect to wake up with him in the most weirdest positions. like laying the opposite direction of how he fell asleep. or his ass up in the air and his face smooshed against the mattress.

- hes not much of a cuddler but sometimes you wake up with his head laying on your stomach

- also dont expect to get much sleep with him, he thrashes around so fucking much

- always gets a bed no matter how many are sleeping in the room because hes a drama queen

- uses your ass as a pillow a lot

- wakes you up by screaming in your ear sometimes, other times he wakes you by giving you kisses behind your ear. its either a nice awakening or a bad one.

- the second his head hits that hotel pillow, hes out like a light, so whatever position he fell asleep in he stays in, its like physically impossible to move him yourself, your just going to have to wait until he thrashes to another position

- tried to suffocate you with a pillow one night just to see your reaction

ryan :

- tries his best to not let the other guys mess with you while you sleep

- literally stays up half the night till the rest of the guys are asleep, watching over you so you wouldnt get pranked

- man is lowkey a gentlemen when it comes to women sleeping

- kisses your temples when your asleep, but only when your asleep

- keeps his distance from you unless you tell him it's okay to sleep next to you

- hes a big sleep cuddler

- so fucking awkward the first time, well it wouldve been awkward for you if you werent so fucking tired

- when you wake up during the middle of the night its probably from ryans beard tickling the back of your neck

- the first time he had to share a bed with you he built a wall of pillows so you wouldnt feel uncomfortable

- which you thought was ridiculous and used the extra pillows that made the wall as something to cuddle

- touches you with his cold feet when your on the verge of falling asleep because he thinks its funny

[b0nerf4rt]

SMELLS !

how i think different jackass and cky crewmates smell

WRITERS BLOCK 🥳

jackass crew ↓

johnny : def coconuts or aftershave during the morning and whiskey during the night

ehren : for some reason i feel like he smells like minty chocolate, or just mint without the chocolate

steve : sandalwood and citrus ( from the orange he dripped all over his shirt )

dave : i feel like man smells like that one childhood smell you cant remember what its from but you smell it sometimes. or shit.

chris : shaving cream and candy

weeman : from the amount of baby powder hes had sprayed on him, i feel like its permanently just ingraved into his dna to smell like it

cky crew ↓

bam : yknow the smell before it rains, or like that fiji old spice deodorant

ryan : the forest after it rains and snow

dico : freshly cooked chicken strips. no im jk. kinda. the smell of pancakes after you just woke up from a rough night

rake : bro totally smells like slushies and the inside of a 7/11 in the morning

raab : yknow the smell of that man musk that smells kind of good but at the same time kind of gives you a headache, and it literally sticks to you after you sit next to him for to long. but like in a good way.

[b0nerf4rt]

how they react to an s/o that acts like a kid

not in a sexual way !!

including : steve o , chris pontius , johnny knoxville , and bam margera

warnings : afab ! swearing

steve o :

- acts like a child with you

- watches cartoons with you and gets pissy when he cant, like if hes called in to film early and cant watch cartoons with you he'll pitch a fit

- he'll order you kids meals just for the toys, but one kids meal isnt enough for you so he buys like ten at a time which pisses the mcdonalds employees off everytime they see you two walk in

- and he'll also steal you those burger king crowns that are meant for little kids everytime he goes there

- he learned how to make different balloon animals for you because you told him once that you liked animals and balloons

- if you like to play in the water he'd set up his hose and sprinkler for you to jump around in

- he'd also bring you to the ocean a lot and collect shells or chase seagulls with you

- omg steve o loves legos and if you do to he wouldn't be able to stop fan girling

- would literally make you stop what your doing and make you help him finish building his millennium falcon lego set

- this is weird but he'd buy you little ducklings and keep them in the backyard in a little kiddy pool

- but anyways he'd play checkers with you or any other type of boardgame

- he tucks you in at night 😫

- but he messes up the little blanket burrito he rolled you in by trying to get into the burrito with you

- secretly buys you stuffies when your having a rough time in life or when your stressed

- will finger paint with you and bake cookies or cakes

chris :

- plays hide and seek and has water balloon fights with you or any game like that, and he gets like fifteen other guys to play with you two

- he endorses your childness and even takes part in it

- if stuffies are your type of thing he wouldnt judge you, hed buy so many more and even name them and give them all separate personalities

- he'll let you play with his fingers and tolerates when you poke and prod at his body

- is willing to play hungry hungry hippo with you for hours on end

- but he never wins

- if you like bugs he'll catch different bugs for you, and everytime he catches one he just has to bring it inside the house to show you and "accidentally" let go of it in the house

- even if its like a venomous spider he'll "trip" and let it out of his hands

- will kill someone if they comment on how you act

- lets you play and mess with his hair but he grounds you if you pull to hard

- if you like dinosaurs or mythical creatures he'll buy you those figurines of them and hide them around the house until you find them

- has lego batman themed bed sheets

johnny :

- literally spoils you so much

- he says that your his little girl and that you deserve to be spoiled

- embraces your childlike side and even encourages it

- hes very understanding if you act like a child due to trauma

- says its okay because everyone has their different ways to cope

- he honestly loves how you act like a child because he thinks he grew up to fast, and having childlike energy around him helps his inner child come out too

- he'll sit on the floor and color with you

- or paint if your into arts and crafts

- likes to watch disney movies even if you dont like them

- he also lets you paint his nails and toe nails and dress him up in pretty dresses like hes a doll

- occasionally lets you put makeup on him, like false lashes and everything

- one time he bought a diy birdhouse for you two to build together but you guys couldnt figure out to assemble it correctly without a bunch of duck tape and elmers glue

- lowkey sheilds you from the world but would never ever admit that

- daddy johnny 🥸

bam :

- the one thing he doesnt comment on

- finds it enjoyable watching you look at all the different toys in stores

- will even buy toys that you like

- he will never admit that he likes seeing you happy and instead says that he likes toys too

- expect many many toys during christmas wrapped nicely sitting under your tree

- but if you like slime or putty hed stray away from that because he thinks its gross

- "its like your playing with somebodys cum" he says while trying to remove some sticky slime from his fingers

- but he honestly loves kinetic sand so much but he would never tell you that

- he secretly plays with your (if that's your thing) kinetic sand while your away

- like he sits in the closet with the lights off and just messes around with it

- its his secret pleasure type thing

- and he also loves collecting hot wheels so you have to wait around for him in stores to pick out his favorite hot wheel car

- he likes how excited you get in toy aisles, hoe your eyes light up and your face glows under the florescent store lights

- every easter he buys you a little bunny or chick stuffed animal and shyly gifts it to you

- and also those little cartoon themed boxes of chocolates

- but if you say anything about it he'll tackle you and act like he never gave you anything

[b0nerf4rt]

how they deal with an S/O who goes silent when overwhelmed

including : steveo , danger ehren , bam margera , and ryan dunn

warnings : afab! , swearing

steve o :

- 100% does not understand why youve gone quiet

- thinks your giving him the silent treatment

- "did i do something wrong ?!?!"

- but you just shake your head with a smile and he spirals into even more confusion

- wont let you out of his sight until you start talking again

- aggressively overprotective of you when your in a silent mood

- doesn't let anyone talk to you because if you wont talk to him you can't talk to anybody

- butters you up with affection thinking that would fix you but honestly the constant touching kind of makes the overwhelming feeling worst

- but at the same time it makes it better because you know he's there for you and waiting for you to feel better

- if all you want is space you better be prepared to hide because this little worried love bug isn't going to leave you alone until you tell him what's wrong

bam :

- honestly annoyed by your silence

- and hes very vocal about it

- so try to distance yourself from this man when you go mute

- but he'd ask if your okay first

- and after you nod your head he'd start complaining about how silent youve gotten

- and if you dont talk for a while he'd slowly get bored of complaining

- then he'd ask if you were okay again, not quite believing you

- but you just nod your head again because you knew you wouldnt be able to find your voice to explain anything

- at this point hed stare at you like you lost your mind when his head goes to the worst situations

- "are you pregnant?!" he asked while shaking you visiously

- that got a little giggle out of you but you shook your head

- from then on he'd start trying to guess whats wrong because he noticed how youd only laugh and not talk

- but those little noises were enough to appease him for now

ehren :

- thinks you dont feel good

- "is everything okay? are you feeling alright?" with geniune concern

- honestly so worried

- will spend hours pampering you the best way he could possibly think of, still believing you dont feel well

- forces you to lay in bed or on the couch with thousands of blankets and pillows and stuffies

- turns on cartoons and cheesy romance movies for you

- which is honestly the best for when your in this type of mood in my opinion

- and his constant checking of your temperature by putting the back of his hand to your forehead or by using his lips is almost heart melting

- he'll make you either tomato soup or chicken noodle soup thats been sitting in your cabinet for years

- but he says canned food never goes old

- so you trust him and eat it all, wanting to ask for some grilled cheese too but you couldnt find your voice sadly

- by the end of the day your feeling better but still not talking, and ehren noticed that

- he'll end up just cuddling with you on the couch for the rest of the night watching the cartoons and romanve movies he put on

ryan :

- asks if your okay, but when you dont respond he'll give you some space

- by space i mean him not talking to you but still hanging around you

- he'd distract the people that tried to talk to you so theyd leave you alone

- his general presence is nice and his gestures are even nicer, even if you didnt understand what he was doing at first

- will bring you little gifts like sweets or lemonade

- if your in public he'd direct you to a more unpopulated area and sit down with you

- if your at home he'd have you lay down in bed and maybe read to you or turn the tv on while he lays with you

- "my mom used to read to me when i wasn't in a good mood and that always helped" hed inform you while holding up to different picture books for you to choose from

- it was kind of odd at first but it was a sweet gesture that kind of made things calm down

- he is completely willing to baby you for the time being even if you dont want to be babied

- mama ryan knows best

[b0nerf4rt]

how they would react to having a biting ( or sucking ) s/o

including : steveo, chris, ryan, ehren

warnings : afab! , swearing , sexual talk

steveo :

- doesnt question it

- definitely bites you back

- says he likes the feeling of your soft skin between his teeth

- he will suck and bite anypart of your body while cuddling

- likes when you bite the area between his thumb and pointer finger ( the web or whateva )

- will let you suck on the web between index finger and thumb whenever ( if you do that )

- likes if you make eye contact with him when you bite/suck on him

- he will wake you up by biting your cheek

- or by licking your cheek which is kinda nasty

chris :

- also bites you back

- giggles everytime you bite him

- "that tickles, y/n" while swatting at you and giggling like a little girl

- lets you suck his fingers when you cuddle

- thinks its adorable

- will attack a bitch if they mention anything about your habit

- will go out of his way to make you bite him

- whether its by clearing his throat or aggressively staring at you

- he will get his point across

ryan :

- says he finds it cute that you bite him

- gets slightly jealous if you bite your friends in front of him

- but he wouldnt admit that to your face

- likes when your bites linger for a longer duration of time

- wont bite back but will coo at you when you bite

- doesnt like when you chomp on his skin tho

- "hey, not so hard," he'd scold while bonking your head with his hand

- probably wouldn't let you suck on him

- unless your in a bad mood

ehren :

- so fucking confused the first time you bit him

- "did you just bite me!?"

- accepts it after that but scolds you if you bite to hard

- he would never admit it but he really likes when you bite his shoulder

- definitely bite him while fucking, he loves that

- just bite him if you get into an argument, he will stop in his tracks and stumble over his words

- ignores when you bite him in public but will smile blush if you bite him in private

- lets you suck on his fingers. he also likes to suck. on your tits.

- will stutter if you bite him in front of his friends