Feeling Like I Think...
(1994 notebook)
RMH
art blog(derogatory)
todays bird
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
cherry valley forever
One Nice Bug Per Day
h
$LAYYYTER

Product Placement

titsay

oozey mess

shark vs the universe
Not today Justin
Jules of Nature
Three Goblin Art
wallacepolsom

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Sade Olutola

izzy's playlists!
seen from Türkiye

seen from Spain
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@backbedr00mcasualty
Feeling Like I Think...
(1994 notebook)
what is nefas?
so ‘nefas’ is a latin word which is probably best rendered in english as ‘sin’. it's used in latin literature to refer to crimes which go against the unspoken rules of the (roman) (“civilised”) universe, often ones associated with divine law. killing one's relatives is nefas. crucially, incest is also nefas. (n.b. that latin had no specialised word for sex between relatives—even ‘incestum’ just means ‘impure sex’.)
central to my personal fascination with the concept of nefas, however, is its etymology: nefas is probably derived from the proto-indo-european root *bʰeh₂- (‘speak’)—whence also the latin verb ‘fari’, ‘to speak’. so, the most literal meaning of ‘nefas’ is actually ‘that which is unspeakable’.
outside of classical literature, the inability to speak about one's experiences is an idea that comes up time and time again in narratives of incest. noel's songwriting is no exception. it is strikingly preoccupied with the speakable and unspeakable, and in particular is built precariously around the conflict between on the one hand noel's desire/need/compulsion to express his experiences and emotions through song and on the other hand the fact that he has a vested interest in not doing so—because to express himself fully (wrt the incest, specifically) would be to jeopardise his entire life.
this conflict seeps through the cracks of so many of noel's songs once you start looking for it. the most obvious manifestation of it is the theme of being unable to express one's feelings, e.g.
“i can't tell you the way i feel because the way i feel is oh, so new to me!”
“damn my education, i can't find the words to say with all the things caught in my mind.”
“there are many things that i would like to say to you, but i don't know how” (or, as noel sometimes sings it, “there are many songs that i would like to sing for you, but i don't know how.”)
note that i am allowing some slippage here between things that should not be expressed and things that physically cannot be expressed. this conflation is not an accidental one: the combined force of an external taboo (the incest taboo) working on internal repression (noel's) can be more than potent enough to fracture language itself.
in fact, i consider noel's “nonsense” lyrics to be a manifestation of nefas—i think that the fragmentation of language and meaning that we see in his more confusing lyrics is the result of the battle between his desire to express himself and the necessity to keep his experiences secret. but i want to talk about that in more detail in its own post...
the flipside of that which cannot be expressed is, of course, that which cannot be perceived—e.g.
“it was a sound so very loud that no one could hear”
“when the night is over, there'll be no sound”
the nature of the incest taboo is such that society's default reaction to incest is denial: denial that it exists in this specific instance, and denial that it is possible for it to exist at all. so not only is our speaker unable to express his experiences, but the listener isn't even able to comprehend them.
then if you want to (and of course i do want to) you can extrapolate further and apply nefas also to the things which are so unspeakable one cannot even think them:
“only for the young is the dreams you might not have. only for the young is the things we won’t remember”
“i'm thinking things that i just can't abide”
and this calls to mind certain aspects of trauma theory, and how sexual trauma in particular often results in a gap in the memory, a thing which can be neither explained nor expressed nor consciously understood.
note how in all of the examples i've given for nefas so far, noel has skirted around the idea. he will talk about the act of not saying/not hearing/not thinking without ever touching on what, exactly, it is that is not said/not heard/not thought.
the result of this is what i like to call The Hole™️: the conspicuous absence of an indeterminate Something in noel's songwriting; a [ ] at the heart of his music that is silent in itself but still colours the lyrics around it; a sound so very loud that no one can hear, if you will.
i have so much more to say on this topic, and in particular i really do want to spend some time examining individual songs more closely, so possibly you can expect some posts like that over the next few weeks. but this will do as a brief (?) explanation of the concept of nefas and why i think it's a useful word to have up your sleeve when dealing with noel's songwriting!!!! because truly. his lyrics are absolutely rife with nefas. it's like my own personal [ ] playground 💃🌈✨
other nefas-related ideas to consider/which i may elaborate on later:
noel's preoccupation with The Unnamed
the confusion surrounding identity in his songs—very often there is a ‘you’, an ‘i’, and a ‘he’ or a ‘she’, and these figures will overlap and become difficult to distinguish
the functionality of his songs and the role of the Stage-World in all of this (rock n roll and the suspension of reality)
EVERYTHING TO DO WITH CAST NO SHADOW.
really my Thing™️ is metapoetry (or here i suppose it would be metalyricism?) so i really am chiefly concerned with the relationship between noel and his music, and how the songs function in the world, how he conceptualises his songs, etc.
very last point: the venn diagram and the abstract i've put in this post are both from narrative nefas and the taboos of incest and bestiality in ovid's metamorphoses by joseph lawrence watson!!
Liam and Noel ♥️🤍
Oasis; 10 Minutes Of Noise and Confusion documentary, 2001
The Gcest Mini-Bang is now open for sign ups!
iMPORTANT SIGN-UP INFO:
Writers: Sign-Ups open from the 14th until the 24th of JUNE
Artists/Beta Readers: Sign-Ups open from the 14th of June until the 15th of JULY
(but send me an ask if you want to participate after the deadline, we have wiggle room!)
GENERAL RULES:
The minimum fic length is 2500 words.
Entries must be gcest or have the gcest as a main focus
It's possible to sign up both as a writer and artist but you can't claim your own work.
All of this is to make an advent-calendar of the documentary, so we can all frick out together at the end of the count-down, so ideally we start publishing the 11th of August (but again, we have wiggle room so everyone can have fun)
Also pls share ❤️
(running out of things to post but still wants to talk about oasis) liam looks like he was a messy spaghetti kid and noel looks like he was a chicken nuggets with ketchup kid
messy spaghetti kid. the scraping of the fork on plate is diabolical. eats with his hands. koolaid ring around his mouth. perpetually sticky. spits just a little when he talks. not allowed to wear white clothes.
chicken nuggets with ketchup kid. maybe theyre dinosaur shaped whos to say. cold peas on the side. eats them with a fork. he holds the fork tight in his pudgy grip as he javelins chicken nuggets. always makes sure to eat the head first. freaks out when his kid brother steals one as now the numbers off.
younger service top who’s into primal play and groping and has a praise and breeding kink + older moody bottom who secretly enjoys being manhandled and put in his place under the sheets.
oh, and the size kink, don’t forget the size kink…
noel + pouty face
THE STORY OF HOW YOU & YOUR BROTHER GREW UP by devin kelly
translating rednote comments on photos from the 25 tour will always kill me
its not even shipping its just posting what they did
Noel said here that he wrote Lock All The Doors in Paris while still a roadie for the Inspiral Carpets, so of course I went to look up possible dates for that (discarding late '92 bc he'd surely been sacked by then + a gig in 1990 mostly out of instinct that his songwriting still wouldn't've been "there" yet):
and okay this still doesn't really confirm anything at all but I want to sit and contemplate a June 1991 where Noel was abroad writing Lock All The Doors while Liam was back home writing Take Me.
post like nobody's watching, reblog like you've never been blocked; dm like no one is offline, and rpf like they actually fucked
in the omegaverse liam would 100% get bored during knotting (shackled to the love of your life yay! but also shackled while having turbo adhd) so you know once the old men have finished noel just hears a tap tap tap and is like "tf are you doing?", realises liam is fully scrolling on twitter and blows up. only liam thinks he's mad bc he's excluded so he helpfully positions his phone an inch away from noel's face so he can witness in real time how, in reply to sb asking when the last time he saw noel was, liam types out "inside him rn"
Morrissey: I think I understand Liam and Noel too. They've done so much for Manchester music, and saleswise they've put so many people in their place. They're very natural. They present themselves as they truly, absolutely are, which is admirable. They don't try to present some rock persona.
Q: Some people would say that's exactly what they do.
Morrissey: I think they're very honest. I haven't had many dealings with them but I met Liam on the plane to Dublin, and I met Noel a few months ago in Australia. Liam was absolutely convivial. It is one of the tricks of the papers to make people out to be monsters, and you meet them and they're terribly sweet and quiet.
— Morrissey for Word Magazine, June 2003
Liam: That (rock n roll star) is the song that fucking never leaves my heart man.
Int: (to Noel) is it about him?
Noel: No, that would be gay wouldn't it?