[tytoalbion]

Girls…are like strawberries

[tytoalbion]

Sometimes they are in the grocery store

[oliviawebsite]

i still think about "aye moira am oan the protein" way too often

[oliviawebsite]

[kragehund-est]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[kragehund-est]

i sent this meme to 7 people, and 4 of them asked me to translate for them. i legitimately do not think that was necessary.

[vickythestrange]

[leoreturns-deactivated20110811]

[tumboner]

omg

[merspers]

This has been in my queue for months.

[mcgooglykins]

I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

[genderfluid-druid]

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

[genderfluid-druid]

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

[badaboiy]

Hippocrates wrote this

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

[karcatgirl-vantas]

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

[skluug]

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

[ace-disgrace-on-the-case]

False! “Sightly” is a positive word, so the default way for things to work is good as well.

The true most ordinary object is beautiful, horrible sounding, very smelly, intangible, and delicious.

I still don’t think it matches anything in existence but to truly understand a thing one must know its true nature.

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

"touchy" is also a word! however it's mostly used for things that aren't objects, like subjects of conversation. it either means "oversensitive and irritable" or "requires careful handling/wording, delicate"

i think the second one works well for our hypothetical object. so we can use that.

therefore, the Default Object is:

beautiful

makes a horrendous sound

smells absolutely awful

is very fragile

tastes delicious

and i still cannot think of anything that matches this

[and-a-pidgey-in-a-wepear-tree]

behold, the default object!

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

My friend just sent me the greatest home listing I think I have ever seen

I mean, check out this beutiful riverside home! Double garage! Upstairs access from the outside! Lets check out the inside

Open concept kitchen, nice, nice

Oh, the whole Floorplan seems to be open concept. Okay! That floor is a little odd, but not a deal breaker.

That bathroom could use an update

Need to change out that curtain

Okay, let's go take a look at the back yard!

Oh

[norvicensiandoran]

[mckitterick]

the Ides of March grows near

[politishaun-deactivated20230409]

Abortion Clinic Employee Shares How Some Pro-Life Women Act When They Come In As Customers

I am not surprised that anti-choice zealots would hypocritically obtain abortions, but I am thoroughly fucking shocked that they wouldn’t even attempt to hide their anti-choice views when doing so. 

[partialbirthabortion]

Read “When the anti-choice choose,” a collection of anecdotes from abortion providers about serving this kind of patient.

[soupwife]

i love wikipedia and i think it is good and right to give them money but all their funding drive messages are “well… we’ll be killing ourselves tonight. we asked so little of you and yet it seems that simply nobody cares about lil ol wikipedia anymore….sad…”

[leakingbrainz]

I'm cursing my followers with this one, bestie

[petkota]

so this happened to me today

[jeegoo]

fucked up some bird tried to steal your car like that

[teashoesandhair]

He’s not stealing, he’s robin

[elodieunderglass]

(Clasping your shoulder gently)

You’re right. And he looks like a real tit doing it too

[strangestcase]

Geological horror. You find a geode and crack it open and the crystal lining its walls is human blood that can't be genetically matched to anyone. You find a human skeleton but every one of the bones is made from rock, a rock that you know can't be whittled into those shapes. You find layers of clay and loam that sport ancient fossils at the top and the still-rotting corpses of modern animals at the bottom.

[bleu-guacamole]

This reminds me of the blood river in Antarctica. For like a century scientists had no clue why this river looked like, acted like, and felt exactly like blood. Turns out it’s just really high in iron.

[the-sassy-composer]

"Blood River in Antartica" yeah right there's no way a river looks like bl-

...nevermind

[wigmund]

Blood Falls isn't just high in iron, it's the byproducts of extremophile bacteria that have been isolated under a glacier in a iron- and sulfur-rich anoxic brine for the past 5 million years.

[baddywronglegs]

I've asked this question before and been surprised by the results, now I have access to more weirdos it's your problem:

It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You have nothing on, and aren't expecting visitors, deliveries or post.

Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.

Which of these would surprise you more to find on the doorstep?

Fairy

Walrus

Voting ended onFeb 26, 2024

[baddywronglegs]

Not naming options to skew votes but...

I think there's something fundamentally baffling with the way most of you think.

[formlesschromatic]

[chirasul]

all demographics and time periods and geography taken fully into consideration, some people were just born to lose

[chirasul]

was thinking of this guy when i made this post. invented the two most environmentally damaging chemicals in history and then got polio and immediately killed himself with a contraption

[silver-tongues-blog]

"one-man environmental disaster"

[im-simmin]

they called that man an organism

[6qubed]

as bad as your worst day has ever been, do you have a wikipedia article saying you "possess an instinct for the regrettable that is almost uncanny"

[itswalky]

thank you, worthington, ohio, not only do you contain the only theater in my area that runs movies at useful times, but you also killed this guy

[sisterreisaid]

[lost-carcosa]

From this:

to this:

[i-am-dulaman]

Okay this is cool and cause Sam Neill is a kiwi and I was just thinking about what a new NZ flag could look like, heres the nz flag with the Maori flag instead of the union jack:

[scarf-it-box]

The maori flag looks so cool what the heck

[royalhandmaidens]

sometimes i think about the history of coffee culture in islam and how it spread like it’s so funny

discovered by sufis who decided it was a miracle from Allah since it allowed them to stay up late into the night for night worship

miracle beans = UNLIMITED DHIKR

cue scholars debating for years about whether it’s haram or halal and if it should be classified as an ‘intoxicant’ or not

fast forward to 16th century ottoman empire, where a woman had the legal right to divorce her husband if he failed to provide her with enough coffee

europeans called it the “mohammaden gruel” or “devil’s drink” bc they believed it to be a “bitter invention of satan and his followers”

fast forward to pope clement viii finally giving in and tasting it to see what the hype is about and then stating: “This Satan’s drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it.”

pope clement viii then proceeds to BAPTIZE THE COFFEE BEANS

[royalhandmaidens]

the tags on this post are some of the funniest i’ve ever seen in my notifications but this one made me choke on my Mohammedan Gruel

[royalhandmaidens]

GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE