Bad Mamas Club

[badmamasclub]

Annoyed...

I am in quite a few facebook groups for special needs parenting and homeschooling. I posted a detailed question a little bit ago. This is the question I posted:

 Does anyone home school their special needs kiddos? I home schooled my son last year and it went great, better than I could have hoped for actually! This year I am having to register my daughter who turns 3 aug 4th. To get her therapies from the school she has to be a student of some sort. She doesn't know even basics like colors and things so that is where we will start. The thing is Fl requires you to keep a portfolio and records to show progress through out the year at the end of year evaluation and I am at a loss of how I would do this with her as she can't even trace atm. Any suggestions would be appreciated! Thank you :) *I am only asking for advice on record and portfolio keeping. Not how to get her services or any form of school other than homeschooling. Thanks.*

 It CLEARLY states I am seeking advice on how to go about record keeping and portfolio options for my daughter because of her lack of ability at the current time to produce work on paper. I swear like 10 different bitches, yes, bitches! Came on there giving me advice on how to get therapy thru private care, in public school, thru private Pre k/head start programs, etc. The fuck. I know the laws, the options. Etc. I choose to home school because it is what’s right for MY CHILDREN. If someone else chooses to go with public school in some form, great. That’s what works for you and your children. Why do other parents feel like it’s their mission and goal in life to point out obvious steps, options, etc that we already know?! I have special needs children. I might not know everything but I guarantee I know more than a lot of parents on the home school subject. I know what resources are offered, therapies, how to go about evaluations and screenings. I have went thru this since my son was 4 months old and he is now 7. My daughter started showing signs of being delayed at 2 months and then we began documenting and such. I am not STUPID. I wish people would learn to read before they type so I didn’t have to be such a smart ass bitch. (On fb and in real life. I have no problem telling ANYONE when I know I am right.) People assume when we ask for advice they need to share every step and ounce of knowledge that they have collected since the day they graced the earth with their presence. IF I ask a question and outline information and ask specifically for info and advice on a specific portion of a post, then please, for the love of the internet, only answer that part of the damn post! We are all parents. We know our kids better than anyone else on this planet. I know what’s up. I know what they need, how to get it, how to find resources and make shit happen for them to help them be all they can be…But annoying judgey ass parents that think I know nothing because I ask for advice are really turning me ugly quick. And I am far from fucking ugly 99% of the time. I guess next time I make a post I will have to include a disclaimer at the bottom saying I am not responsible for being a bitch if you take it upon yourself to try to teach me how to be a mother to my own children. Get your nose from up your ass and parent your own kids before trying to tell others how to do shit. I know ya’ll have had this happen probably and it probably annoys the hell out of you too but guess what? You can totally tell them bitches to STFU and move on from your post! I even blocked a chick for getting rude with me because I pointed out the fact that what she said had nothing to do with what I asked. I told her what I thought of her unwanted comments and bullshit advice that was not even related to the actual question that was asked in the first damn place! *Sigh* It’s just fucked that you can’t even ask a question without those perfect know it all bitches raping your post to look better to other people on social media. I love knowing my shit and how to shut them up quick. I am very intelligent and have no use for people who think less of me. Rant over!

[badmamasclub]

Tired...

There is no way to express how tired I am from the past few days. I feel like I haven’t slept in a year. My sons old bed broke and I have been sharing a bed with him and my daughter that I normally co-sleep with and it was horrible. I was hot, had no room on the bed and ended up tossing and turning almost the entire time. Went and bought him a bed, set it up and was thinking that last night was gonna be smooth and easy. Nope. My daughter wouldn’t lay down til about midnight and as soon as she was asleep my son woke up. He didn’t go back to sleep until the sun was up…Which means I also didn’t go back to sleep until the sun came up. I have horrible insomnia some nights but this was exhausting. I’ve literally went almost a week with no sleep now. I am walking into walls, tripping over my own feet and forgetting and dropping everything. Tonight, I don’t give a fuck, I will sleep! On top of all that today the kids have been hell. Anything and everything they know they are not suppose to do they’ve made sure they did it! A box full of lucky charms all over the bedroom, toys thrown (literally) all over the house, food dropped here and there...Horrible. I have yelled, sighed, debated crying in a corner and then ignored them all together just to grasp a little sanity until bedtime. I refused to let them have outside time today. The way my son was acting I was terrified he would demolish the house from the outside without me knowing. Instead I turned on movie after movie while I attempted to upload 600 plus photos of my sons schoolwork from the entire year. (We home school.) Now, in preparation for his yearly evaluation I have to organize all the photos and daily logs and sort through everything to get samples from the beginning, middle and end of the term. Fun...Yay me. I didn’t even cook dinner the past two nights. Last night it was subway and tonight it was chicken nuggets and sandwiches. As tired as I am they are lucky I managed that much. I did grab a shower earlier so I could at least feel human again. Now, my ass is planted on the couch watching Orange Is The New Black and I refuse to get up unless I have to take a piss or need a drink. I am officially off duty. *Sighs*

[badmamasclub]

The Single Mom...Truth!

The single mother…TRUTH!

 I know. I am one. I know just how hard it is to get anything done on a daily basis and here is the kicker. I have two special needs children and I home school the oldest. The youngest, when the time comes, will also be home schooled. Why am I a single mom? That’s easy. I was tired of being controlled in ways that some women only read and hear about. I honestly hope the woman reading this right now is one that never experienced such abuse. I got tired of the drama, lies, cheating, belittling, etc. Some of my closest family and friends will never know all the details of what went on in my so called marriage. Not because I don’t trust them with the information, but because I simply don’t want to relive it to tell it. Single moms are probably the hardest working women I know. We know it’s up to us to get shit done. Without us everything falls apart. We are responsible for cooking, cleaning, laundry, paying the bills, getting to Dr appointments, therapies, grocery shopping, house hold shopping, fixing the boo boos and making it all better. We try to date again and the whole time we are fighting with time. When do we have a couple of hours to meet that guy and see if it could be more than just a text buddy? When do we have time to go out to a movie or on a proper date? For me, never. If I meet someone it’s at my house after my kids are asleep and always outside unless I know the person very well. Do I want a break to do other stuff? Sure. When I do actually get some down time my main focus is me. Resting. Doing absolutely nothing. It’s going to take one very understanding man to be in my life and I have yet to find one that comes close. Am I lonely? Nope. I don’t have time to get lonely. By the time the kids are in bed I am to tired to feel anything but relief! Relief I have a few minutes to clean without chasing little people out of my sweeping path or the trash can. (Yes, my daughter is that kid!) Right now as I am writing this my kids are in my bedroom that’s already destroyed and probably going to be even worse by the time I actually go get them. I’m just glad they aren’t fighting right now. Being a single mom is hard and if you are doing it all on your own I applaud you. It takes a strong woman to swallow that load. Ha ha! Now, sex. There is no time for a real sex life. It’s kind of a get it now and then and sleep when you can type setup. If you do get the chance to get laid you better do it fast before one of the kids wake for a sippy or wake up sick and need some Tylenol. There is no roses in our lives. It’s all havoc. I wont sugar coat shit for you. If you are a newly single mom then I say this…Get use to having no time, no sleep and no energy. There are some good benefits though. You get those precious brats all to yourself! You don’t have to share them with anyone and you get all the loving you can handle! You are mommy and daddy at this point. You might be worried about how you will teach your son certain things once it’s time. Don’t stress. I am sure there is a male friend or relative that will take him fishing or teach him about the lady issues. Trust you gut always when it comes to things. Hold your head high even though some look down on us for being single moms. We did what was right for us. We got out of toxic situations and for some of us, there was never a situation…It was just us and the kiddos from the get go! The one thing I worry about when I do date is that some POS guy will mistreat my kids without me knowing. I am making sure my kids know if someone is mean to them or does anything to them that they don’t like to tell mommy immediately even if the person says not to, etc. I don’t trust anyone. That all comes with being a single mom though. We learn early on it’s just us and our babies against the world. So, never feel down about being a single mom. Hold that head high because most people couldn’t handle half the shit we do.

[badmamasclub]

Over Sleeping and It’s Outcomes!

So, I over slept today. A lot. My mom had my son on the living room with her and I snoozed for a good portion of the day. I woke up around 1130am. My daughter was in the bedroom with me and decided to basically redecorate the entire thing. My sons bed is completely naked, my night stand draw is bare and I have no clue whats under the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor. I’ll clean it up before their bedtime but right now I really don’t give a fuck because I actually got to sleep past 830am! That is a very rare thing for this mama. Not because of the kids per say tho. I usually wake about the time they do every morning, but lately I haven’t been sleeping to well. Lots of trips to pee in the middle of the night, making sure my son doesn’t sound like hes getting croup again, changing the baby’s diaper, etc. I am always so exhausted by the time they are in bed that I feel like I can’t move. Then there is the cleaning, etc. I have no time for me it seems unless I stay up at night after they’ve went to bed. If I do that then I don’t wake up early enough to get what needs to be done accomplished for that day. It is a loosing battle no matter what. Plus, I have horrible insomnia some nights. I can’t take sleeping aids because if I do and my son gets croup I may not hear it and that could be very very bad for him. I’d rather be tired than him end up admitted in the hospital or worse! I know ya’ll relate. If you are a well rested mama then I applaud you because I haven’t managed to find a good balance for it yet. Plus I am a single, stay at home mom that home schools. I literally never get a break. Some days I wanna just run away but then I look at my brats and know I would die without them. No matter how sucky of a day it is, it’s a perfect day as long as I am with them! There’s so much to remember when you have kids tho! I’ll cover some of that in my next post. For now I am gonna go have a lazy day with my whining monster and my tornado of a daughter! <3

[badmamasclub]

What moms really talk about...

Most non parents or (gulp don’t shoot!) men probably think us moms talk about kids, cleaning , etc when we chat. Hell no. That shit does come up but the majority is sex, men and what happened before and after said sex and men. For example, a friend and I were chatting not long ago and it consisted of picking out a suitable fuck buddy. Yup. Even moms have them. Hell we even have BOBs. Battery Operated Boyfriends. We also talking about drinking and drugs. Not that we hate them either. Pot lover here and proud! I’m talking we really get into some weird convos. Sometimes they are light and funny. Sometimes dark and twisted. Depends on our moods. Topics change randomly and unexpectedly and that’s one of the best things. We talk about dick a lot. The size, shape, feel. What it really looks like. Cut and uncut. We talk about our boobs and vaginas. Sally has a mind of her own, you just don’t even know! Yes, we name our vaginas so that we can talk about them anywhere without getting dirty looks or sexually harassed. We talk about hair and nails and what our periods are like. Lord, it gets detailed! When you find friends you can really talk to on those levels though, you keep them. You really cherish the talks and time you have with them because those weird fuckers are your soulmates. Not a damn man. That’s just a clit tickler. A soulmate is someone you can send a boob or sally pic to in the middle of the night and ask “what the fuck is that?!” and, of course, they reply almost instantly with humor but let you know they care. Those are the kinds of friends I want in the nursing home with me when i’m 80, pushing a walker with tennis balls on the legs and checking out which old men are healthy enough for Viagra still. Those ladies are more than friends. Those women are my sisters and I am lucky to have the ones I do have in my life. Find your soulmates while you still can and plan the rest of your lives out and make sure they are who you include. <3 

[badmamasclub]

Let’s take a few minutes to address those perfect social media moms in depth. You know the ones I am talking about. The ones that are the first to comment on a photo we post about how irresponsible or unsafe something in the mix is. The let’s bake cookies from scratch and make them gluten free and tasteless. We will call them SMM (Social Media Moms). The photos I posted with this are so accurate. The top is what the SMM wants you to think is there norm...The bottom is what all of us moms know as the norm. I’m not saying hand your kid a 10 lb bag of sugar and a spoon but seriously. Is a prepackaged cookie gonna kill em? No. We didn’t have all these safety warnings, gluten free items, rules and regulations when we were growing up. I’d rather my kids be happy and me have some downtime than to be running around like a maniac trying to make sure everything is completely perfect. SMM think if we post a pic of a kid with a dirty face that we are neglecting them. Oh I am so sorry I didn’t take that extra 60 seconds and wipe away those cookie crumbs before I snapped this adorable picture of my son/daughter. Holy shit! There’s a picture of them with dirt on their clothes! Call the police! Those kids are being abused! STFU. You wanna pretend you are fucking Mary Poppins then go right a head sweetheart but in the meantime I am gonna be living like I am not in a damn bubble. I wont treat my kids like statues in a museum. They are children. Let them be CHILDREN! Stop judging us bad moms that actually post real life on our pages. You want to post a completely spotless kid sitting in a spotless floor playing with 1 block go for it. My living room at any given time looks like toys r us barfed their entire overstock up and it landed at my feet before they went out of business. And that’s fine. Why? Because my kids live here. They play. They spill shit and drop food all the time. I clean the stuff up when I get to it. I have color crayon and pencil decorated walls right now thanks to my daughter. Works of art that I will erase with a mr clean magic eraser when I take my lazy ass to the store and buy some more. It’s shameful that real mothers are scared to post our daily lives on our own pages due to some asshole SMM that thinks she knows whats best for our kids just because she reproduced and decided she was the queen of all reproductive results. My kids are bratty little assholes most days and they make me laugh all day...But sometimes I cry. When it gets to be rough and they just wont stop. They keep crying or something and I am so tired I feel I can barely move I tell them get away. Do they? Fuck no. They are like mosquitoes on my ass. Smack, buzz, land, repeat! But I love them unconditionally and that goes without saying. So, for all you SMM out there...Take a look inside your home and really look...Snap a picture right now...Is it perfect? No! Then stop expecting other moms posts, pictures, etc to be perfect. We know you aren’t posting what you really want to and that’s ok. We’re here for you when you decide to be a bad mama too. <3

[badmamasclub]

Goodnight Kiddos, Hello Mommy Time!

Let’s hear it for bedtime mamas!!! Woo! Now, if I could just get my soon to be 3 year old daughter to stay in bed more than 5 minutes I’d have it made! I’ve already setup the coffee pot for the morning, cleaned up the toys, swept, etc. This is my mommy time. Time for me. What’s pathetic is by the time I can actually do something I want to do I am now to tired to actually do anything other than sit here with my laptop or phone. I’d love nothing more than to fire up a fat joint right now and forget life for a good couple of hours, but here I sit. Sober. Depressing. I can’t even afford a bottle of booze right now. Sad, I know! On top of all the shit I do during the day and evening right before bedtime for the kids, now my son is sick with croup. This means i’ll be up most of the night giving him neb treatments every 4 hours and praying we don’t have to rush to the E.R. mid way thru the night. That’s all we need right now. The most exciting thing I do now when my kids go to bed is watch something other than Disney Jr. I wait all day to watch TV because the little brats have it on cartoons all day and IF I do manage to get the remote and change it while my son is outside playing, as soon as he walks back thru the door he wants to watch paw patrol or something. I just gave up trying during day hours. So much easier. Boring, but easier. I pretty live on my phone. It’s my only contact to adults. If it wasn’t for my phone I would seriously be bat shit crazy right now. No joke. I know I spend way to much time on it but it’s my only entertainment that has adult content. bath time, now there is a luxury for me! I love taking steaming hot, long as I can stand it, tub baths once the kids are good asleep. This is my guilty pleasure. It is my time. Most of the time I just lay there like a corpse until I begin to fall asleep and jump up, wash and get out. I try to make it last as long as possible. I’m trying to work up the nerve to clean up the kids toy room again. I can’t even see the floor much less walk into the room right now. It’s gonna take a while for that courage to work up! I’m not even sure I know where to start but I know it will happen before the kids bedtime. Anything after is my time and I am stingy as hell when it comes to my downtime. 

[badmamasclub]

Real Mama

I am so tired of the perfect mothers on social media today. I am in now way shape or form a perfect mother. Hell I don’t know if i am even a good mother. What I do know is my kids are happy and healthy. Apparently I did something right. I mean they are alive still! Lets take a minute and examine what the perfect social media mom is though. I know you’ve all seen them. The ones that make organic everything in a special food machine, buy over priced diapers just to let a kid fill them up with shit just to say you’re an all natural mother. They are always posting perfect pictures of their kids and them with their kids. Spotless house. Etc. Well, now I am gonna tell you what kinda mom I am. I am a real mama. If that makes me a bad mama then so be it. My kids are dirty right now. One is asleep beside me because we co-sleep. She’s almost 3. One’s playing on his laptop on his bed. Why? Because I needed a damn break that’s why! I’m not downing or degrading any mother or her parenting style, but I am not gonna sit here an lie either. I don’t limit TV, electronics, etc. My son is about to be 7 and has 2 cells, 2 tablets, a laptop and a smart TV. Those devices helps keep me sane! I’d also like to take a minute and thank Disney Jr and Nick Jr for being fantastic babysitters when I need to go to the bathroom or take out the trash, etc. I also home school the oldest of my two. Let me tell ya that is a whole new world of nos, whining, etc. Either he’s to tired, i’m to tired or we forget. We usually end up doing about a weeks worth of work in one day once a week. And food...I’m sorry but the microwave is my best fucking friend. I can throw a kid meal in there and dinner is done in 3 minutes. Less work for me on the days I feel I can’t deal much more and when I am exhausted and hungry I can just throw something in, heat it up, eat and carry on. I do monitor TV shows. They are only allowed Disney, Nick and children’s movies PG. I make sure they don’t use dirty words and I correct bad behavior when I need to. I refuse to correct every little thing they do. Both of my kids are special needs. They have different problems in different areas and some in the same. This is challenging but I promise you they are just as annoying and bratty as any other child. They drive me completely insane and I love them more than words could ever express. So, if you are also a bad mama then follow my blog for more real posts daily.