Beware Of Paramilitaries

Pretty star corvid Digidestined

[sludgebones]

[two tumblr soldiers bleeding out on the internet frontlines]

“heh… remember strawbebby…. And ranibow spramkle… always made me laugh”

“Don’t talk like that man. We’re gonna get out of here i prommy.” [mortar fire sails overhead and land nearby] “christ its like a childrens hospital out there”

[through shallow breaths] “I always loved…… the color of the sky…………”

End scene

[wildehacked]

things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:

the city of los angeles

the city of new york

sex

how drinking alcohol works

how getting high works

how a child of any age speaks

how nuclear physics work

how [my job] works

how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is

how hypothermia works

things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:

what french toast is

[headspace-hotel]

read through the notes on this one trust me

[kiragecko]

Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:

SHRIMP COCKTAIL:

banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol

generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is

#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro

And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!

POMEGRANATES:

zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple

thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute

sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.

FRUIT TREES:

zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''

salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE

baander: #cranberry trees

DOUGH/BATTER:

maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre

livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles

lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY

Some other topics:

ANIMALS:

catenarwhal: #mandatory 'how cows produce milk' mention#i'll never recover from that one I fear

piromantic: #one time i saw someone fake their way through describing how spiders behave

pluto-lichen: horses

misskittypotter: #stardew valley faking its way through what fresh fish smell like

pa-pa-plasma: #saw someone faking their way through knowing what a seal is once #i still am fucked up over that one to this day. they just straight up did not know #& they were NOT good at guessing it either like it was clear they had never googled that animal ever #& was only just now realizing via answering questions from anons that seals are not!! what they assumed. initially

SEX:

dykevandyke: #what a prostate is #and where it is located #as in. external.

dreamyeyedrose: #I remember back in the ff.net days reading an Ichigo/Renji fic where the writer assumed the penises go inside each other #and I was like “I mean I don't know how it works for sure I don't have one but idk if that's how it works”

SOME OTHER FOOD STUFF:

thetrekkiehasthephonebox: #add another one to the list bloggers#this character is cooking a salad

shosta: #still baffled about the published work that didn't know food could freeze

sun-dari: #once i read a fic where the author didn't understand cinnamon

alto-tenure: #read something recently where the author was just. blatantly wrong about spices

dramatic-dolphin: #i saw someone try to fake their way through what ramen is once. like 14 years ago.#but i remember.#i was very confused about ramen for a few months. they were writing it so authoritatively.

the-celery-stalks-at-midnight: #i will never ever forget someone putting leftover fries in the microwave to reheat them and setting the timer for five minutes

typeghost: #this sparked a memory of a hannibal fic where the author had to fake their way through writing about gravy

draculin: #the one fanfic where the author knows about coffee only as a concept wrote a character as a coffee drinker#was very interesting#I don't remember the fandom or the plot but I was mesmerized by the coffee actions and choices

11235811235811: #there's a lot of faking their way thru congee in the svsss fandom i'll also note

fishali3n: #read one where the person clearly didnt know what tofu is

emmy-everafter: #in the aftermath of shadow and bone s2 i saw a lot of people pretending to know what stroopwafels are #babes they are more like cookies than breakfast waffles #like yes there is a waffle pattern but you're not gonna cut into a stack of them with syrup and sugar#🤣🤣🤣

NON-FOOD STUFF:

red-umbrella-811: Shoutout to Dame Agatha Christie for faking her way through what a wrench is in a very popular published work.

bluebeetle: #once saw someone have a character put an entire phone book in their pocket

nonametis: #- sex talk in languages other than english #<- or just the petnames in a different language other than English

sadisticpony: #the fanfiction i saw this week where op DIDNT KNOW HOW AUTOMATIC DOORS WORKED #and that they arent in peoples homes!!! of course. also opening the automatic door for someone is unironically very funny but its not #its not like. grabbing the door handle to let someone in. helpppp

danmeichael: #reminds me of the fic with the figure drawing class where the character started with the feet. #i love you feet first figure drawing author

meowmix1100blr: #me watching this one fic absolutely obliterate what the board of directors does

vexedhexes: #one time i read an architect character making a doorway bigger by building a bigger door #what a beautiful world. #OH. also gravity falls fic where they go 'oh piedmont is in california so its warm all year round'

leveragehunters: #characters going to a beer garden #And it's literally a garden outside the pub#It was a very cute mistake

fitofpique: #yes! #grown men do not get blind drunk off two beers #but i am possibly guilty of the hypothermia one #assuming it does not make you very horny?

dadvans-likes: #always thinking abt the soup kitchen fic #the entire setting of the fic was 'soup kitchen' #and i very quickly realized #the author did not know what a soup kitchen was #and they thought that soup kitchens only served soup #fic

msmargaretmurry: #i love fanfiction #once read a fic where the characters played 20 questions #but the author seemed to not know how to play 20 questions and was just kind of winging it........ #immaculate

shakespeareaddict: #Look I know not all of us are hockey experts #But it takes about ten seconds of research or any attention paid to the show to realize #That the Stanley cup playoffs are not in fucking September

baejax-the-great: #the funniest one i saw #was someone faking what church is like #like 1. they really didn't have to write an entire church experience for their fic #and 2. they had clearly never even watched a show where people went to church #it was bonkers weird

twosunson: #things ive seen authors faking #knowing how to unclog a drain #knowing. literally any history #knowing what ketamine looks like (apparently- oregano) #(you know who you are)

waterhorseyblues-ao3: #beltane being celebrated in winter #wales being portrayed as a completely separated land from england (i wish) #characters getting up after weeks of bedrest like that dosnt completely fuck you up

violetfairydust: #i once read a fic where the flight time from london to seattle was 3 hours

purekesseltrash: One time, in a fic set specifically in Des Moines, IA, two of the characters casually drove 20 minutes to the ocean. The memory continues to delight me. I want to know where that author thought that Iowa was.

[fagstaynight]

some people on the internet have only been on here for five minutes

[cowboyspones]

i will never get over this one i’m afraid

[starrynet]

that’s his little guy!!

[littleguysdaily]

I wish I had what they have...

[iravaid]

Visit Original Link

On conservation and survival

[naamahdarling]

I wish I could favorite things a hundred times but instead I will do it once and then reblog it while crying.

[dduane]

If you don't want LinkTree putting your imagery into AI... get out now

Just canceled my account (not that I used it that much). But I won’t permit this. Via @unaminh.bsky.social:

IMPORTANT: For any artists/writers/etc etc, using Linktree to point people to their work, from 5 July, they'll be feeding all imagery you use on your landing page into DALL-E by OpenAI.

…Just so you know.

[netherworldpost]

Pride month is nearly here and the queers need the money you were going to spend anyway on bits and pieces

If you are going to buy pride merch, consider going to that web shop you have bookmarked that you've been meaning to shop at but never got around to it.

"Will they ship it in time?"

it does not matter

look into my beautiful blue gray eyes and notice the way the subtle wrinkles accent my middle age and listen to my gentle, wispy voice when I tell you

it doesn't matter when it arrives

your support of somewhere between pocket change for a sticker to the equivalent of lunch at a restaurant that you spend in an independently owned shop is the line between:

them closing

them celebrating in a tiny way

them surviving

them doing well

them thriving

them building queer spaces in the economy

this is not a guilt post

this is not a "you should spend money--"

from the title of the post

"...money you were going to spend anyway..."

Your choosing a small business and saying "hey this may not arrive in time quickly" is a significant portion of supporting that business, becuase they do not have Big Box Retail mechanics

Your choosing a small business and saying "costs a more but is still comfortably affordable" similarly so

I am a cold hearted business person whose love for money is only secondary for my love of happy, thriving people in an enriched environment that serves and protects the entire population always in every form and structure

(which is honestly the source of my love for money, because it directly leads to people happy and thriving, protected and supported)

(if i could waggle my fingers and live in Star Trek I would but I cannot)

(I tried it) (it didn't work)

so the economic incentive

to this post is quite simple:

happy, thriving people doing business is good for the world

If you want to show your support and/or identity

and planned on doing that with a bauble sticker shirt pin keychain art print whatever

the queer shop you have bookmarked in your computer is a great place to look

If you want to read about your support and/or identity

the local bookstore in the queer neighborhood of your community is a great place to go browse

and/or the library, leave us never forget that these are for some fucking bullshit reason under attack, too, okay sticking to the point lest I start coughing up blood and/or throwing bricks

If you want to see your support and/or identity

the local theater in your community that shows queer films is a great place to start

etc. etc. etc. etc.

Paying a a few cents or dollars more at a store that directly aligns with the values you have in your heart for something you were going to purchase anyway -- listen to me -- is a direct action support to keeping their lights on in hard times and allowing them to grow from "survival mode" to "thriving mode" in good times

i know that it sounds simple

maybe even too simple

and it's literally this straight forward

"I can't because--"

solid

i'm not here to guilt or request or demand justification

from anywhere about anything

live your life

this is a discussion point me @ me me @ you

"Big box ships faster. Do I need it faster? Big box offers free shipping, and is cheaper. Can I spare the extra few bucks?"

sometimes yes

sometimes no

thems the breaks to being alive

I say this as someone who loves money (see above qualifying statment) and whom loves Doing Business (my current job is extracting cash from rich people for queer art, great gig, highly recommended)

at least 1/2 Doing Business is "I am here, right now, with the thing you're looking for, with agreeable terms."

literally that direct and forward

WHEN you can bend what you consider agreeable terms to the realities of small business -- slower shipping, a drift towards higher prices, they have to special order it rather than it be in stock etc. --

you are directly creating a change in the world towards the shifts you want to see

this is the "doing your own dishes, folding the towels everyone uses in the house laundry" version of buying things btw

"okay again I can't because--"

:)

it doesn't matter

there is no permission slip needed to sign

you're not in trouble

there is not a list I'm going to check your reasons against

there is not a reason to have a reason

this is exclusively meant to seed the thought of "when I can, I will"

it doesn't sound like much

it is being intentional

this s AT LEAST 1/2 of changing the world

[nasturbate]

“nice blog”

thank you im really good at clicking reblog

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you are really good at clicking reblog

[desert-love]

[a-book-of-creatures]

When you see an adolescent saguaro 👍

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[were--ralph]

i tune out for one day and what the fuck is this

[were--ralph]

i thought maybe it was shitpost but no

[minotaur-in-my-labyrinth]

Dana White is the head of the UFC. He is buddy-buddy with Vince McMahon, head of the WWE. Vince McMahon is the husband of Linda McMahon, the head of the Department of Education. This tracks severely.

[were--ralph]

i fucking hate it here god nuke us all

[nyokoko]

Actually, this is a good thing. America needs to see what a fucking Dave and Buster's ass country it really is instead of relying on that fake ass austerity it's been carrying for most of its existence.

[anxietyproblem]

[stood-onthecliffside]

[gar-wafflez]

[thegoodmorningman]

Good Morning!!! IS THAT A QUESTION!?!?!

[fucking-relax]

reminder: your meds

whether that's taking them, refilling them, or whatever you need!

this is your reminder to do what you gotta do

[fucking-relax]

if your auto-refill is not on time for whatever reason and you're low, or sooner to pick-up is easier than later, but you think "Oh i'll be fine without meds for a few days!!"

no you won't. go pick-up early.

[what-even-is-thiss]

It’s crazy that countries on the edge of the Sahara desert are reversing desertification by just digging half circles

[what-even-is-thiss]

The ground in these places is too compact for water to soak in during wet season which leads to flooding but digging these holes gives the water a place to stop and soak in. And they’re pushing back the desert with this. By just digging holes.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The new plants also help even more water soak into the ground which reduces flooding even more.

These places also give people places to grow food and graze animals like people are turning completely dry compact desert into a refuge for wildlife and plants and solving regional food insecurity just by digging holes.

[untitledgoosegay]

Yacouba Sawadogo - Wikipedia

The half-circles are called zaï! They're a traditional farming practice in the Sahel desert, and their introduction + reintroduction can be largely credited to Yacouba Sawadogo, the man linked above! He reintroduced and innovated on the zaï on his own farm in the 1980s, and did extensive outreach (along with scientist Mathieu Ouédraogo) to encourage other farmers to adopt them as well.

He also promoted the use of cordons pierreux, which are basically just lines of rocks to reduce erosion, preserve sediments, and increase water absorption.

Immensely cool dude. He's been a personal hero since I learned about him.