WELCOME FOOLS

🦄🦄🦄

[italianleathers0fa]

nobody:

my cat, about to puke on the carpet:

[bob-belcher]

[mysticalcoffeequeen]

2 minutes after “Into the SpiderVerse”

[lolawashere-deactivated20240904]

Those were 2.20 minutes well spent!

[avvocarlo]

the real houdini

[triprobellant-deactivated201709]

my favorite compliment to get from a friend or lover.

[irrevocably-delicious2]

Some retail complaints from twitter this morning. I don’t think anyone can fully comprehend how stupid humans are until they work a retail or hospitality job.

[starfire003]

I’d like to add on the people who ask a question, get an answer they don’t like and ask the same question in a different way to get the response they want.

[corisanna]

I get stuff like this often enough at work, but that last one? There is one customer we have that does that so frequently and for so long (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY MINUTES of trying to get the answer she wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she isn’t present.

Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and try it again with the same employees the next day.

[greatfay]

Me: “For the drink, it’s [x amount] :)”

Customer: “I saw a sign that I get a free drink?”

Me: “For signing up for our rewards program, yes :)”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t have one of those”

Me: “Well if you sign up, you can get the free drink! :)”

Customer: “Eh I don’t want to sign up”

Me: “…” “…” “:)”

Customer: “I hate getting all those emails”

Me: “Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can show you how :)”

Customer: “No thanks, I don’t want an account”

Me: “Okay… well the drink will be [x amount] :)”

Customer: “I thought it was free?”

Me: “:)”

Me: “It’s free if you sign up for our rewards program :)”

Customer: “I don’t want to sign up”

Me: “Then the drink isn’t free :)”

Customer: “You can’t just give me the drink?”

Me: “No, I can’t unfortunately :)”

Customer: “Why not? It’s only [x amount]”

Me: “If that’s not a lot of money to you, why don’t you just pay for it? :)”

Customer: “This is shit customer service”

Me: “:)”

Customer: “This is highway robbery, squeezing every dime out of people, you should be ashamed of yourself—”

Me: “I don’t control the prices, I’m just a cashier :)“

Customer: “—making a fucking fuss over a damn drink and it’s not even a large—”

Me: “That’s not my decision, I’m just a cashier :)”

Customer: “—and you bet I won’t be coming back here again”

Me: “How unfortunate :)”

[thekeybladeninja]

I can feel the :) deep in my soul

[kryptoniteconundrum]

A text I never expected to receive from my mother

[lamignonette]

[joshpeck]

she’s helping

[ghibli-collector]

The Seaplanes of the Adriatic - Porco Rosso - Dir. Hayao Miyazaki (1992)

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[positivityparkour]

You know I had to do it to em

[im-fairly-whitty]

“Dude, I dare you to dab.”

“What? No, someone will see me someday, it’ll end up all over tumblr or something.”

“Oh come on, no one’s ever going to find this one picture.”

“Okay fine, but you have to do something too.”

[fullygrownadult]

[fullpraxisnow]

“[I]t is actually more expensive to be poor than not poor. If you can’t afford the first month’s rent and security deposit you need in order to rent an apartment, you may get stuck in an overpriced residential motel. If you don’t have a kitchen or even a refrigerator and microwave, you will find yourself falling back on convenience store food, which — in addition to its nutritional deficits — is also alarmingly overpriced. If you need a loan, as most poor people eventually do, you will end up paying an interest rate many times more than what a more affluent borrower would be charged. To be poor — especially with children to support and care for — is a perpetual high-wire act.”

— It Is Expensive to Be Poor | The Atlantic

[bae-in-maine]

“Poverty charges interest ” holy hell. Ive never read$heard someone put it that way before. But its so friggen true.

[not-the-face]

[photo-of-your-mommy-with-a-mummy]

Breaking Bad (2008-2013)

[mjalti]

I really … don’t know what the mom expected… I really do not

[manrepellent]

[darling-clemxntine-deactivated2]

So my mom is a neonatal nurse and she helps the newborn babies and there was one she had to help and it’s name was Ho’Nasty pronounced “Honesty”

[cyberdramon]

[tigerlily-monroe-deactivated202]

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

[bubblysuggestion]

you’re someone’s dream person

[butterflyknyfe]

can that bitch wake up and come talk to me then

[blackqueerblog]

These stories are deeply depressing.

[princessrhcenyra]

fun fact: Michael Cera asked Rihanna if he could slap her ass for real and she said “you can slap my ass for real if I can slap you in the face for real” and he was like alright. and they did the take like 3 times and Michael was like “you’re not hitting me hard enough do it for real” and then she slapped the fuck out of him and threw off his equilibrium so much he had to go lay down in his trailer for like half an hour lmao and that’s the take they used in the movie with no added sound effects 

[lmaonade]

this is so damn funny