Letâs say you have a really, really stressful job.
Iâm not talking about a high-stress job in media or finance here - letâs say you have the kind of job where you have to deal with other peopleâs pain and trauma, day in and day out. Nurse. Paramedic. Psychologist. Doctor. Social worker. Lawyer. Police officer. Firefighter. All day long, you deal with the things that other people donât want to deal with. You see all the terrible things that humans do to each other, and you see people in their darkest, most horrible moments.Â
Usually, the day someone meets you is the worst day of their life. But for you, itâs just another day at the office.Â
The first couple of weeks or months are hard. So hard. Youâre trying to get someone through the most awful moments of their life - a car accident, a house fire, a suicide attempt, child abuse, the list goes on - and you canât help but feel deeply for these people. You comfort the families, you blink back tears. Their stories tug on your heartstrings and you have to duck into the bathroom to compose yourself. You go home and stare at the ceiling and see their faces in your mind.Â
But then the cases keep coming. And coming. And coming.Â
At some point, it all becomes too much. In the beginning, you felt like you were really making a difference - now, you just feel like youâre trying to hold back a tidal wave with your bare hands. Because it doesnât really matter how well you do your job. There will always be more car accidents. More house fires. More suicide attempts. More abused children. Sometimes you canât even save one person - depending on what you do for a living, you might get to watch the same people fuck up again and again and again, no matter how hard you try to help them. You realize that there are powerful social forces out there - poverty, inequality, racism, underfunding, an unsympathetic public - that keep on creating new victims, and youâre powerless to stop it. Youâre just running behind them with a mop, trying to clean up what you can.Â
You watch a child die at work, and then you go home to family and friends who think their day is ruined if a barista gets their coffee order wrong.Â
And then one day, the people you work with just donât register as people anymore. They are wounds that need bandaging. Paperwork that needs filing. Holes that need intubating. The fact that these people are human is nothing more than an inconvenience - their fear and panic and crying are obstacles that get in the way of you doing your job effectively. You drag yourself to work in the morning, stumble through the day, and drag yourself home at night. You canât sleep, you canât eat, and you donât find pleasure in anything anymore. Even if you try to have empathy for the people you work with, you find that you just donât have the energy.Â
Congratulations, you now have compassion fatigue.Â
Compassion fatigue is a very real condition, and it affects between 15-85% of healthcare workers at some point in their careers. Weâve known about it since the 1950s, and itâs part of the reason that sometimes, in your worst moments, youâll find yourself dealing with an unsympathetic doctor, therapist, nurse, lawyer or police officer who just doesnât seem to give a shit. Some of those people might have been bad at dealing with people since day one, but a lot of them had high hopes and good intentions before they stumbled into jobs that completely destroyed them. Compassion fatigue affects people across a broad spectrum of caretaking jobs, and it lowers the quality of life for both them, and the people they serve on a daily basis.Â
And right now, weâre basically doing everything in our power to make compassion fatigue worse.
Most of the professions Iâve mentioned - doctor, lawyer, nurse, etc - work extremely long hours on rotating shifts. Itâs impossible for them to maintain a regular sleep schedule, and virtually all of them are living with extreme sleep deprivation. They are usually too busy to eat properly, exercise regularly, or spend quality time with friends outside of work. Many are struggling to pay off crushing student loans. In a lawsuit-conscious world, many workplaces discourage employees from discussing traumatic incidents that occur, preventing them from getting support. The high stress means high staff turnover, which also makes it difficult to find social support. We are working these people into the ground, and blaming them for not being able to perform at their very best all the time.Â
If you work in one of these high-stress fields, or youâre thinking of going into it, itâs important to know about compassion fatigue. Recognize the signs. Practice regular self-care and do the best you can to maintain strong friendships. Say no to extra shifts if you can. Fight for every minute of sleep you can get. Donât be ashamed to admit when youâre struggling and need extra help or time off. Compassion fatigue is common, but itâs not inevitable - with proper awareness and attention, we can improve outcomes for everyone.Â
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