Halloween Treats For Grown Ups
as much as i love the season of spooks, the "treat" part of trick-or-treating has lost its appeal, due to the evolving nature of the human palate. here are the goodies i buy myself instead to celebrate the annual March Of The Pumpkins:
favorite "fancy" candy flavors that rarely get handed out (cherry liqueur, praline, macadamian)
international candy. go to your local international/asian/middle eastern grocery store. haunt the sweets aisle. select several bags of delicious-looking things you haven't tried before. bring home, mix in a popcorn bowl (or splash out on a plastic jack-o-lantern bucket), keep within elbow reach for all of October
candied ginger, fruit, chocolate-covered nuts, coffee beans etc
a beautiful rainbow of sherbet & gelato flavors
fussy little tea biscuits
outrageously overpriced boxed chocolate sampler
caramel apples, never forget the caramel apples (snag a grocery store kit and make them at home with 2 minutes and a microwave. my goal is to eventually do this with every commercially-available apple cultivar currently in existence. i have a ranking system)
hot chocolate. the good stuff. not powdered—chocolate shavings. stovetop not microwave. full-fat milk. homemade whipped cream. real vanilla seasoning. a touch of cayenne powder.
fun-sized booze. tiny liquor bottles of assorted whiskey, tequila, schnaps, disgustingly flavored liqueurs you would never otherwise attempt to consume
a single perfect mango. (idk, they're good? if it makes u feel better, u can carve a jack-o-lantern face before slurping it down)
surround yourself with goodies. light some candles (whilst chanting your evil intentions). draw whiskers on your face. sharpie an emoji face onto a tiny baby pumpkin. paint your nails glow-in-the-dark. put on a playlist of halloween golden oldies (songs and animation shorts). give your baby pumpkin a name (Charlene). invent a drinking/candy-eating game for the favorite spooky movie you've watched too many times. attempt badly to make a snowflake skull paper chain. be appalled by your shoddy attempt at a skull paper chain. fall asleep on the sofa cuddling your baby pumpkin (Charlene) whilst the credits roll.