I grew up very decidedly anti-feminist.
My mom ran the house, but my dad was the boss. My mom fed, bathed, clothed, made sure all 6 kids got on the bus every morning, but my dad made the money, so he was king of the castle. He spanked now, and didn’t ask questions later.
If he ever came home from work with a present, it was for my brothers.
My brothers were encouraged to play sports, and my dad got them whatever equipment they needed. I wanted to do gymnastics, take dance classes, but we didn’t have the money.
I tried to play football with my older brothers, but I was “too little”. They let my baby brother play with them.
I wanted so badly to cut my hair short like my brothers, but I was just a girl, and girls have long hair.
The more I was shown that my brothers were more important, the more I tried to be like them. I wore their hand-me-downs. I said, “Boys rule, girls drool.”
Nothing worked. I was still just a stupid girl. I believed that because i was a girl, I was worthless. Whatever self-esteem childhood had given me was taken away. I believed them when they told me I was fat. I believed them when they told me I couldn’t.
And I carried that with me.
When I joined tumblr several years ago, it was solely for yarn and Marvel posts. Gradually, I noticed more and more feminist posts showing up on my dash, and it really annoyed me. That’s not why I was following those blogs. I considered unfollowing a lot of them.
One day, I started reading some of them. And then I read some more. And I realized I felt the same way about a lot of it.
Hell yeah it’s bullshit that women make less than men for doing the same job. Hell yeah it’s bullshit that actresses are asked about their families and clothes while their male counterparts are asked real, not demeaning questions. Hell yes it’s bullshit that actresses are offered way shittier roles than men, and young actresses are paired romantically with older actors but not the other way around, and it’s bullshit that there are way fewer movies about women, by women, for women than there are male-driven movies. Hell yes it’s bullshit that rape victims are blamed and their rapists often go free, and it’s bullshit that in so many places, women are losing access to healthcare because rich old white guys don’t think women deserve the rights to their own bodies.
It took me a long time to realize that I am not worthless because I am a woman. My opinions do deserve to be heard. I am more than my pant size. I am strong.
Happy International Women’s Day.
ellievsbear
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
dededos
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