jalex 🌿

i am all time low trash

[jasonptodd]

Pet: *falls asleep* Me: *lies down in front of them, gets three inches from their face, and stares at them for 30 minutes*

[plnts-deactivated20150108]

dONT BE A TEACHER IF U DON’T LIKE FUCKING KIDS????

[oomshi]

this can be taken two ways

[chrissongzzz]

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[strangefriendperson-deactivated]

me, in a public place: i know its risky to open tumblr up in public, but i mean it’s 10 in the morning! what could people possibly be posting this early?

y’all, who have pics of an anime girl with her whole booty ass out:

[thecommonchick]

OMG! 😂😍

[ufishal-deactivated20201213]

What cruel shark mocks you and then eats you

[barakarthhh-blog]

not hiding his name because oh my gosh, what an inconsiderate jackass. no words can fully express how enraged I am right now.

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

why do windshield wipers only have 2 settings?? i need more than “one wipe every 86 years” or “metronome for a skrillex album”

[thexfiles]

me: has had 2 good days in a row

my brain: It’s Time

me: for what

my brain: It’s Time

[homerically]

i don’t think i’ve ever seen something as great as this

[softlyshine]

[macleod]

[coralbluebirdtiger-deactivated2]

[relishboi]

[victorpopejr]

All the other reindeer used to do Rudolph dirty

[setheverman]

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

[thesassycat]

*Seductively lays on a table* Hey bab- *Table breaks*

[barakarthhh-blog]

psychic: (reads my mind)

my mind: THIS PERSON'S THOUGHTS WILL APPEAR AFTER THIS AD

psychic: what the fuck

me: want ad-free thoughts? subscribe to My Thoughts Premium™ for just only $4.99 a month

[sixteenplagues-deactivated20230]

windows 8 can suck my dick

[dild0]

I can’t believe how far technology has come