elvhen simp

Kes: she/her - fanfic and art - dragon age / dnd / fantasy

[bardandbear]

About me, tags, navigation

About Kes, 30, she/they Lover of angst, enjoyer of evil, supporter of women's rights and wrongs.

Currently: Kingdome Come my Deliverance

My art: such that it is #my art and #my ocs

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

Clip of Lucy Dacus on the Las Culturistas podcast.

[footlongdingledong]

thing thats good: yay

thing thats bad: aww

thing that has both genuinely amazing pieces of storytelling and abysmal dogshit slop both happening like entirely interchangably:

[cuunos]

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

“be gay do crime! but sex is yucky and crime is wrong!” ass website

[cheaphalloweencostume]

literally 😭😭😭

[seren-starlight]

Unoriginal sin. Derivative sin

[horsefriend]

[putnamspuppeteer]

For those who don't know: Ikumi Nakamura is the woman who was senior artist on Bayonetta, and designed the titular character along with Hideki Kamiya. Their greatest moment of bonding was over their insistence that Bayonetta keep her glasses on at all times. Nakamura cannot go to horny jail. She is the warden.

[brookietf]

[catgirlforeskin]

Happy pride month to her and her exclusively

[seraphiminn]

she made a comic about the experience on twitter

[catboybiologist]

happy pride

[ikindamaybewanthertositonmyface]

An Update from back in October I'm surprised wasn't added to this post. lol

[aesths-deactivated20220604]

[batshit-auspol]

Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

The more you know.

[batshit-auspol]

Imagine being on a work call with an Aussie and they suddenly announce they're gonna blow a load in response to a problem.

[fred-the-dinosaur]

Not Aussie but I asked an American once if she was taking the piss ( i.e. pulling my leg, joking. Perfectly cromulent and friendly english expression)

and she got really upset because she thought I was threatening to piss ON her

[honiibbang]

This is killing me

[batshit-auspol]

Rifling through the tags, here's some other terms which are apparently causing mass carnage whenever they escape our borders:

Having a goon (i.e. Sipping on a delightful wine)

Having a gaytime (Eating an icecream)

Having a sticky beak (Investigating)

Take a squiz (To have a sticky beak)

Get stuffed (To express a revelation is most frightful)

Chuck a sickie (Take a day off work due to the humours being misaligned)

Chuck a wobbly (When one's temperament becomes visibly upset)

Carry on like a pork chop (Acting most silly indeed)

Thongs (flip flops)

Hot chook (Pre-cooked supermarket rotisserie chicken, otherwise known as the Bachelor's Handbag)

Fair suck of the sauce bottle (Let's be real)

Shits me to tears (Something is mildly annoying)

Not here to fuck spiders (Expressing a situation is serious)

Having a piss-up (A social gathering)

I'll shout you (offering to goon an old chum)

A cruisy place (a relaxed atmosphere, where one might shout and goon the night away while enjoying many a gaytime in your favourite thongs)

[buginateacup]

Some usamerican friends of mine recently learned the Aussie meaning of snail trail (the line of hair from the bellybutton heading south). They were horrified to say the least

[beholdingslut]

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[bigfoots-biggest-fan]

HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY

Visit Original Link

Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).

[punkrorschach]

happy first day of pride everyone

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

the swordfish does not know she is named for an instrument of war. we do not know her heart. perhaps she is in truth a creature of peace

[terra-nightgale]

arn't swordfish literally predatory fish?

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

we just can't know that for certain. we don't know

[oflightningandstars]

"actively hungry" + "none of the foods sound good at all" is one of the worst combinations. who let this happen

[xiaq]

One of the best things about being a writer is thinking of something small you can add to your work that’s just. Devastating. Like you’re sitting there going. Oh. That would be diabolical. People would get really riled up about that. Exquisite. Let’s do it.

[leggywormy]

It's end of May, yall know what that means

[byjove]

I think the biphobic misconception that bisexual women only date men and bisexual men only date men may have a correlation to the fact that there is always a man freaky and horny in your DMs no matter what. It isn’t that bisexual women are secretly straight or that bisexual men are secretly gay, it’s that men are out there behaving like starving dogs and you feel so bad you end up feeding one, you know? Anyway, this coffee is a medium and I ordered a large. It’s okay, it’s busy in here, I get it.

[jay--hawk]

there should be a rule u can’t get stressed for 30 minutes after u wake up. i just woke up. spawn invincibility please.