-ˏˋ 𝐊. ˊˎ-

❝you’re not in wonderland.❞ wattpad: pierregasiy

[alssaysstuff]

james “i can fix him” potter verses barty “i can accept him as he is” crouch jr.

[bartylus]

THIS

[regulusblock]

barty: *pokes regulus with car keys*

regulus: what you doing bro

barty: just trying to turn you on bro

regulus: bro

[bartylus]

Evan: This is crazy but I’m having feelings again like some fourteen-year-old kid or something. You remember feelings, right?

Barty: Yeah I have feelings every single day of my life.

Evan: Do you?

Regulus: Are you saying you don’t have feelings?

[bartylus]

Sirius: You tricked me

Regulus: I deceived you. ‘Tricked’ makes it sounds like we have a playful relationship

[bartylus]

Regulus: What’s this? What’s happening? Why are you squeezing me with your body?

Barty: It’s a hug, Regulus. I’m hugging you.

[bartylus]

Regulus: The only straight I am is straight up bitch.

[bartylus]

Regulus: We all have our demons. 

Regulus, pointing at Barty: This one’s mine.

[bartylus]

Regulus: Is this whiskey or aftershave?

Barty: *takes the bottle and chugs it*

Barty: It was aftershave.

[bartylus]

Regulus: I’m not so great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

[bartylus]

Regulus: Is the hand holding really necessary?

Barty: I mean, we could make out. But that would be entirely distracting.

[bartylus]

Regulus: I’m gay.

Barty: ...you like guys?

Regulus: Well, that’s sort of an entry-level requirement, Barty.

[bartylus]

Sirius: An entire square block, forty-two bedrooms, nineteen bathrooms, and not a single drop of coffee in this entire house.

Regulus: Orion hates coffee.

Sirius: He hates children too and he had us.

[bartylus]

Regulus: Barty and I have that sort of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s—

Barty: —sentences.

Regulus: Please. Don’t interrupt me.

[bartylus]

Regulus: What are you going to be when you grow up?

Barty: A burden on society.

[bartylus]

*Sirius and James enter the room*

Regulus: Oh good. It’s my not so loving elder brother and my former one night stand. What a nice, normal family gathering.

[bartylus]

Barty: Has anyone ever told you they love you?

Regulus: Do my parents count?

Barty: Yeah.

Regulus: Then no.

[bartylus]

Regulus: You’re just so... out there.

Barty: And your whole ‘bashful schoolboy’ thing? Super hot.