To the Sigmas of Cardassia!
To the sigmas of Cardassia, I say that this goofy ahh federation have been capping, not just now but for a long time. A few of you may remember when Sisko said "there'll be no Fanum Tax under the station I lead". They're cappaholics! They're also yappaholics! They yap non-stop about how their cost of living measures are changing lives for all Cardassians. Just put the fries in the bag, lil bro. They tell us that they're "locked in" on improving the spy situation of the station. They must have brainrot from watching too much chula and forgot about their plans to ban dabo for kids under 14. If that becomes law, you can forgor skull emoji all about watching Bashir play racketball or catching a baseball with the bros on holosuite. Chat, is this Commander serious? Even though he's the Commander of Deep Space Nine, sometimes it feels like he's the Commander of Ohio! I would be taking an L if I did not mention the opps who want to cut Bajoran Slave Labor and Ferengi Tax. The decision you workers will be making in a few months time will be between a mid Starfleet, a dogwater Dominion, or a Klingon empire that will mog both of them. Though some of you cannot yet vote, I hope when you do, it will be in a more goated Deep Space Nine for a government with more aura. Skibidi!
-Gul Dukat
