Fresh Produce Stand

the new (24 month old) tumblr of a guy whose been here 11 years

[goodlouse]

[doctor-yoshi-soul]

I'm usually lukewarm on "fandom + text posts" but the thing about M*A*S*H is that Hawkeye literally just talks like that. The posts will work for the other characters but so often I will see a post pinned on a screencap of Hawkeye and I can so clearly envision him saying the whole thing, with only minor edits for slang/cadence, if any in the first place. I don't know how to explain it if you haven't seen the show, but I know if you have you'll understand intuitively. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce was born to be a tumblrina and instead he was stuck in Korea a hundred years ago.

[lesbianmarrow]

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

[tunnaa-unnaa]

taking notes

[sufjansjoy]

mm you’re being such an okay boy for daddy. could be better could be worse. you will receive neither reward nor punishment for your forgettable behavior. that’s my okay boy, keep doing whatever …

[whaile]

late summer / early fall thoughts

[glavilio]

i hate when people defend those horrible monoculture lawns because they don't want bugs outside. like we don't live on planet bug

[gatheringbones]

tbh a lot of my advice boils down to “hey you know that terrible horrible looming thing you’re doing your best to avoid and distract and escape as much as possible but no matter what you do it just keeps looming and looming and ruining your life”

“just, fuckign, run straight at it screaming.”

[quasarkisses]

i needed this as a background

[spectrexviiii]

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[todaysbird]

a rare closeup of a black swift, found throughout north america and small parts of south america. swifts are rarely seen up close; they spend more of their life in air than any other species of bird - they eat, drink, mate and sleep while in flight. they are incapable of perching like other birds; they must cling to vertical surfaces.

(x)

[curlicuecal]

I had to look this up because “sleep while in flight” ????

but yeah, apparently completely true.  these birds stay aloft for as much as 10 months nonstop, feed on insects, spend more energy at night (when there aren’t warm thermals to ride) and at dawn and dusk climb to 10,000 ft altitude where the 30 min slow descent is probably when they catch their sleep.

they’re unusually long-lived for such active critters (20 yrs) and they may be limiting energy expenditure by being extremely aerodynamic and narrow bodied.  Also a single bird travels the distance of about 7 roundtrip journeys to the moon in its lifetime (>3 million miles).

[x]

[lobstabear]

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

[knittingontheroad]

I became a tattoo artist at 49.

Married the love of my life at 50.

Got my Class A CDL at 59.

You've got time.

As long as you're breathing, you've got time.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

every now and again for my mental health i rewatch the chiikawa big motor parody

like. yknow that one video of the deja vu edit of the gimli glider documentary needs a at least a paragraph or two to explain what the hell is going on and how'd it get there?

well this is mine

like the deja vu part, the easy part of this to explain is chiikawa, which is a cutesy cartoon that has oddly horror-themed arcs to it all the time, but is primarily about a bunch of cute creatures existing in the woods

now, like the gimli glider, the long explanation:

Big Motor was a Japanese car retailer that's nepo-ass management and shady dealings led it to a massive scandals and convictions in insurance fraud, predatory sales tactics, insane toxic company culture and of course.... tree crime(look this up on your own time).

the insurance fraud is the main focus of this parody. Big Motor used insanely shady methods of increasing damage to its cars that were to be repaired to gain the maximum insurance kickback to them, the company, rather than the owner of the car they just fucked up, and would then charge whacko service fees about it. iirc the got audited several times and just got away with all their insane bs. at one point they were allowed a fully internal audit, which is insane and kinda like looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror and going "did you commit fraud?? you have to tell me"

Eventually there was a whistleblower that had busted things wide open with a bunch of detailed reports on all the fraud.

idk if the specifics were verified but allegedly, some of the tactics were literally, as seen above, slamming the car with a golf ball sock, stabbing tires, generally fucking it up, then charging you extortionate fees.

I love this silly ass crossover. American version would probably involve garfield. wanna see how he'd process insurance fraud

[mamoru]

CHIIKAWA MENTIONED

[penny-anna]

The thing is every step of the situation does actually make perfect sense if you follow it more closely. Why is Farage stepping down and immediately re-running? Well he's trying to delay the investigation into his finances and also pull a PR stunt. Why is no-one else running? Well they don't actually want him out of parliament yet because they want the investigation to continue. Why is his main competitor a man with a bin on his head? Oh that's just Count Binface, he runs every time there's a high profile by-election. Why is he Count Binface? Well he used to be Lord Buckethead but he had to drop the character due to a copyright dispute. Why was he Lord Buckethead? Well in 1977, Star Wars was released in cinemas,

[penny-anna]

[renousim]

give me your most controversial music opinion

[empathviv]

the beatles were one ugly guy moving really fast

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

You have became this medieval role, how do you feel about it

you are in the medieval era and you have this role!

How do you feel?

great!! I love this

good!

It's okay

So bad. I hate this

This is similar to my real job!

Results/other

Voting ended onJul 18

[apas-95]

[sraithpics]

David Cleary!

[aiteanngaelach-deactivated20241]

i'm in Ireland and the search for that bastards name is still blocked and hidden... the legnths the british go to defend and protect their instruments of colonialism and violence is beyond belief. no justice for the victims and yet every measure taken to protect David James Cleary and his fellow murderers.

[undeadentropy]

Never a better time for the Streisand Effect than when it's a government covering up acts of brutality and evil.

[stele3]

if you complain about the Chinese government covering up Tianamen Square, then complain about this, too.

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[hugdog]

switched sans theory