🥨pretzel lesbian🥨

🥨hey im Baz, im 23, lesbian, he/him 🦇/🦇 🥨icon by draconmachia

[kod-lyoko]

[pinkvbay]

Smoking my bigarette

[beardedmrbean]

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

never be good at your job. it's a trap. they'll just give you more and harder stuff to do and it'll pull you away from your true passion of writing gay fanfiction for people on the internet

[hirsuteandcute]

I'm just going to say it - body hair (and beauty standards in general) is truly one of the final frontiers of women's issues in the West. Too many women just love their gilded cage too much. It shocks me how virulently women will defend it. I barely open my mouth and the "well I like how it feels. it just makes me feel cleaner. sensory issues. I do it for me. feminism is about choosing (to conform)." brigade come rushing in by the dozens.

Well I don't like how it feels. I don't feel cleaner without body hair. I don't prefer not having body hair. But who will advocate for women like me, but me? For women who do like hair removal, they are advocated for every time they step out of the house and see 99% of the female population also conforming to that standard, or when they watch a movie and see all the shaved actresses, or view an advertisment, or open a magazine, or watch a music video, or scroll through social media, or walk down the streets without receiving insults and glares for having a completely normal bodily feature.

You genuinely can't even point out that hairlessness is a man-made standard without women losing their shit and acting like they are totally immune to propaganda they've been exposed to from birth. I'm so tired.

[sashimi55]

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

[dambiex]

[rosepetal444-deactivated2026020]

i’m like if a pervert was a sweetheart

[onlytiktoks]

[aniseandspearmint]

Asdfghjkl her perfectly straight face and even tone throughout should win an AWARD

[zoesupreme]

[leafdlc]

[exhuastedpigeon]

Happy Pride all the queers in my phone. But an extra happy pride to all the bisexuals in straight passing relationships. To the trans people still living in the closet for their safety. To the nonbinary people getting misgendered. To the ace and aro people who sometimes feel like Pride isn’t for them. To the BIPOC people who face discrimination in the queer community. To everyone who feels like they aren’t queer enough.

You are enough. Pride is for you.

[lakevida]

can you imagine being dealt this hand

[lakevida]

[fortooate]

they can't possibly know if it like has a bag of almonds down in a trench somewhere when theyre not looking

[lakevida]

[goth-queen]

[superhell]

i just don't think 16 minutes is going to cover it

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[whyenn-reader]

[captain-price-returns]

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

[syzygynephile]

Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

My card: Declines